The Ports of Portugal

Chapter I

Note: This isn't DoC, this is one of the other 5 stories.

Spoiler: Guys, I kind of cheated. I played as Spain, founded Lisbon, and put all of my units there. So, that explains the beginning of the story. Now, it was only kind of cheating. I was all, "I'm going to play as Spain! I'm going to found Lisbon for no reason! I think I'm also going to improve its territory! And give it some armies! And delete Madrid's army!" And then, when Portugal came, I was all, "Ugh... I forgot, Portugal spawns in Portugal! Well, since my army is in Portugal..." And that it was happened!

~~~~

Joao II: Wow, those Spanish are morons. Madrid's garrison is gone and Lisbon is awesome! It gave us the opportunity to gain independence!
Henry the Navigator-nator: Now we can explore!
Afonso de Albuquerque: And slaughter the Spanish!
Manuel I: Or both!
Joao: We should claim the rest of Lusitania so the Spaniards don't.



Henry: Let the exploring begin! I'll go souowowowowowoth... BARBARIANS!



Afonso: You wimp! We need to eliminate the barbarian menace so commerce ships can sail!
Manuel: Amen!
Mansa Moosea: Did someone say commerce? I have a proposition for you... Who is the king?
Joao and Manuel: I am!
*glare at each other*
Manuel: The text says Joao so I guess he is...
Mansa: Okay...
*Whispers in his ear*
Joao: Agreed! Thank you!



Ferdinand Magellan: What did they say?
Henry: Beats me. Time to expand to the Atlantic! Time for our first colony!
Magellan: Ugh, I hate the Atlantic... I hope, one day, to discover a more, peaceful, ocean... A "Pacific Ocean..."



Meanwhile...
Afonso: As your military general dude, I demand to know what's going on between you and the moose guy!
Joao: Okay, don't tell anyone else... Mansa agreed to let me found a colony in Africa: Elmina. It will enhance trade between us. Mansa gains gold and we gain territory. It's a win-win!
Afonso: Great... Hey, I have a deal to make with you. Henry will love it too... We need carracks. They have cargo space to help us... explore and conquer...



Will the Portuguese get optics or will they not? Find out next time!

constantinople said:

Spoiler: Guys, I kind of cheated. I played as Spain, founded Lisbon, and put all of my units there. So, that explains the beginning of the story. Now, it was only kind of cheating. I was all, "I'm going to play as Spain! I'm going to found Lisbon for no reason! I think I'm also going to improve its territory! And give it some armies! And delete Madrid's army!" And then, when Portugal came, I was all, "Ugh... I forgot, Portugal spawns in Portugal! Well, since my army is in Portugal..." And that it was happened!

Click to expand...

Awww~~~ You beat me to it.
So was this trick known amongst DoCers or not?

BTW, you there is a thread in DoC section for early dominations. Is such trick banned or not? I didn't see that trick defined in any way.

Is this... Vanilla RFC?

If it is, I shun you for life.

Portugal isn't in Vanilla.
I first heard of the trick when someone said he played as Egypt in regular RFC and left his cities relatively undefended so when Ethiopia spawned, he could switch to the civ and take the capital, get a Great Prophet and discover Theology.

I mean regular RFC.

Why are you not playing DoC???????

Correct answer: I will redo this in DoC.

I tried it. Spain and I got into a game of cat and mouse. After a very bloody war, I did manage to take over Spain and Cordoba but I was weak. I devoted most of my soldiers to colonizing, but it left my Iberian cities barely defensed. Then, France declared war on me and, well, it would be quite embarrassing to lose a war with the cheese eating surrender monkeys.
Also, it is very hard to conquer the Kingdom of the Kongo. But, I do manage to create a replica of the Portuguese Empire without DoC.

constantinople said:

I tried it. Spain and I got into a game of cat and mouse. After a very bloody war, I did manage to take over Spain and Cordoba but I was weak. I devoted most of my soldiers to colonizing, but it left my Iberian cities barely defensed. Then, France declared war on me and, well, it would be quite embarrassing to lose a war with the cheese eating surrender monkeys.
Also, it is very hard to conquer the Kingdom of the Kongo. But, I do manage to create a replica of the Portuguese Empire without DoC.

Click to expand...

Wrong answer. I shun you for life.

constantinople said:

Portugal isn't in Vanilla.
I first heard of the trick when someone said he played as Egypt in regular RFC and left his cities relatively undefended so when Ethiopia spawned, he could switch to the civ and take the capital, get a Great Prophet and discover Theology.

Click to expand...

A shame I spotted a trick that actually was known. I thought it was an original way to boost games. The best I have done while messing around is either play Babylon or Egypt and play it just to give everything to Persia. Persia has a big spawning zone, thus easier to give away things. And to add more salts to the wound, buy buy and buy even more variety of mercenaries to let it to Persia. Not only Persia will get special exotic units like Skirmishers, Medjays, WChariots, etc. but also the mercenary promo is lost while the transfer. Yes, it does. That means the unit is costless (or better said not the huge cost associated to mercenaries). Of course, forget about promoting because promotion is lost.

And not doable with the latest version where I think mercenaries are no longer available.
Also, you can do this with workers, missionaries, GPeople, etc. Everything. The nice trick is to pass down your GPeople from nations to nations.

BTW, on an unrelated note, did people notice when you promote your mercenaries, every two levels, the cost is inflated by one more GPT. And once the unit is dead, you are stuck with the additional cost, but not the original -2 GPT. A bug? Not that it matters if mercenaries function is disabled.
Also, I just realized another semi-broken aspect about mercenaries: selling your own units. So, you just mass build warriors, put them in your capital and each is worth +1 GPT. For a cost of 15 to 20 , the payback is actually really fast!

constantinople said:

Portugal isn't in Vanilla.

Click to expand...

I think vanilla is an adjective meaning "untouched", thus it means the original RFC. But I don't even know if the original RFC had Joao II or not because I never was really attracted with RFC before.

Tachywaxon said:

I think vanilla is an adjective meaning "untouched", thus it means the original RFC. But I don't even know if the original RFC had Joao II or not because I never was really attracted with RFC before.

Click to expand...

Portugal didn't exist until BtS. It literally did not exist.

YES!!!! Constantinople is back!!!!!

Chapter II

Joao: Time for some reforms.
Afonso: Police state?
Joao: No!



Magellan: Quiet, you! We're exploring!
Manuel: We need to expand our realm.
Henry: Agreed. This "Africa" seems cool.



Joao: Yeah. We need slaves. We need the conquer regions such as the Kongo.
Afonso: I'm sure you'll do fine. But we need most of all is a route to Asia. Maybe we should conquer the Islamic world?
Manuel: I agree. We need a port in Asia or the Middle East. India is rich with resources. Maybe you should go there one day, Afonso.
Afonso: Yeah, but for now, we have to worry about the dang barbarian triremes.



Joao: Christianity has spread into Elmina, that's good. We need to push back Malinese culture.
Mansa: I understand that. Your port needs to thrive to increase trade between our two great nations.
Joao: Well, my nation is greater, so...



Manuel: I don't think our trade is too successful...



Afonso: Son of a!
Magellan: Dang... We need more colonies.
Joao: Won't that add to debt?
Magellan: Shut up!



Mansa: Regarding our earlier conversation, I have a question. Joao... Will you vassalize me?
Joao: Oh God... This is happening too soon... Yes, yes! Yes, I will vassalize you!
Afonso: I always loved a good vassalization.



Mansa: But, you have to cater to my needs.
Joao: Ummm...
Mansa: I need help dealing with the impis.
Joao: Oh... Phew, you... Nevermind. But you have to let me Christianize your heathens.
Mansa: Deal.



Afonso: This is good. It all worked out. And, apparently, swordsmen pwn impis.



Joao: And now...



Manuel: Hooray for Christian Mali!
Henry: Dang, the Arabs have blocked our path.
Afonso: We need to conquer them!
Joao: In good time, Afonso, in good time. I'll let you go on your mission.



Manuel: It seems the Vikings need help.
Afonso: Yes!
Joao: No!



Afonso: Why'd you say that? We need to smite the heathens! And the Vikings need a friendly boost.
Joao: Oh, I have a good reason...



Joao: Pedro Alvares Cabral, you can drop settlers off in a place called "Brazil." Don't ask how it got that name-
Cabral: How-?
Joao:
Cabral:
Joao: Magellan, you explore southern Brazil.



Cabral: That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind...
Portuguese explorer: Don't you mean "one small step for a man?"
Cabral: Dangit!






Joao: Anything interesting?
Magellan: Just jungles...
Afonso: How can you have a conversation with Majelly when he's thousands of miles away?
Joao: I talk very loudly.



Magellan: I found something interesting! It's smooth sailing from here!
Joao: What is it?
Magellan: I call it "The Strait of Magellan."
Joao: Can't we call it the "The Strait of Joao?"
Magellan: How about we name a city after you?
Joao: Fine...

sub'd

I have happily subscribed - I welcome you back, constantinople!

Tachywaxon said:

So was this trick known amongst DoCers or not?

BTW, you there is a thread in DoC section for early dominations. Is such trick banned or not? I didn't see that trick defined in any way.

Click to expand...

It's considered foul play and although noone will notice it if you deliberately don't tell it in your report and don't provide early screenshots, you're not supposed to do it. Actually, you're not supposed to play an earlier civ and then switch later on to get higher scores at all.

For non-record games like this, it's completely fine of course.

People do it all of the time, believe me. I remember a guy was giving a strategy like this for playing as Ethiopia and winning a historic victory.

strijder20 said:

It's considered foul play and although noone will notice it if you deliberately don't tell it in your report and don't provide early screenshots, you're not supposed to do it. Actually, you're not supposed to play an earlier civ and then switch later on to get higher scores at all.

For non-record games like this, it's completely fine of course.

Click to expand...

I would say it. Anyways, heck, I would also release the save. With Lock Modified Assets on top of it.
Anyways, thanks for saying so. That avoids me the potential blush time.

And what about playing an earlier civ, but that one gives nothing, but rampaged so much that there is more available wonders than normal for the spawning civ you wish to play?

I see this mod has so many exploits compared to the regular BTS.

Chapter III

Magellan: Finally, after tedious hours of exploring, I've actually fond something decent! Another nation! I'm not saying civilizations because these fools aren't civilized, they don't believe in our religion so they are savages to me!



SUVayarmanaman: You've annoyed me already, Portugal.
Joao: I apologize for my friend, er, fellow Portuguese dude. His crew ran out of food and they had to eat all of the fat people first, and there aren't too many fat people yet, so...
SUVayarmanaman: Ugh... What do you want? Peace or war?
Joao: Is there a right answer?
Manuel: I chose none of the above.
Afonso: I chose war.
Joao: Quiet, I'm trying to negotiate! I'll have to take a rain check on this offer...
SUVayarmanaman: Oh my Buddha...
Joao: Portugal just wants to trade, bub. Do you have any valuable land that we could conquer?
SUVayarmanaman: I do have a valuable city in my southern territory that is barely defended. Is that good?
Joao: Yes, yes it is... Peace... For now...
Afonso: I like the sound of this...

Afonso: Um, hey, hoss, it looks like the French are colonizing too. We need that land...
Henry: We need to explore and claim our own land! It is our fault for slacking off!
Manuel: Let's take the middle road and conquer the French colony, but lead a genocide so only Portuguese colonists remain and it is technically our land!
Joao: Manuel... You are messed up.



Magellan: SON OF A-! THE WORLD IS ROUND!
Joao: Yeah, I knew that.
Magellan: You did?
Joao: Yeah, a lot of people knew that, ever since the Greeks. The debate was on the circumference of the world, which we now know is 128 tiles.
Magellan: Well... I helped!



Henry: More friends!



Joao: Hi, talkogawa!
Talkogawa: Erm, hi?
Joao: Have any valuable cities?
Talkogawa: I ain't trading with any foreigners. Japan is good the way she is, screw all of your western ways! GOOD DAY, SIR!



Joao: Who ninja'd in his pants?
Afonso: We need to teach... Derp.
Joao: How do we teach derp?
Afonso: No, not that...



Joao: Poor Mali. Or should I say "Mauli!" ...Now I feel bad...
Henry: We need to focus on exploration, not Mali's needs. Our colony is flourishing while Mali suffers.
Joao: You really are dark, Henry. All of you are. But we are doing some exploring, as we Portuguese do, and have discovered the fractured remains of Mexico Mexico.
Afonso: Conquer?
Joao: No. We should leave Mexico Mexico in peace. The god tuna ascended into heaven and his nation crumbled without him. Of course, that's just a guess. I see a French caravel nearby but there is no way Mexico Mexico could have lost to FRANCE.



Henry: The natives are restless. And plagued. We Europeans have introduced technology and disease into the New World. But, so long as we colonize, I'm happy! That's all we need...



Manuel: Amen. Screw the rest of the world! We should follow Japan's advice and ignore the rest of the world! Excluding colonization. Commerce should be our number one concern!
Joao: You know what? I agree.
Afonso: Commerce? Commerce?! You can't colonize when we are under the rule of a corrupt dictator!
Joao: Like me?
Afonso: ...You can't colonize when we are under the rule of corrupter dictator! I'm leaving! I'm taking a vacation! This cameo is over!
Joao: But you just said you were just taking a... Forget it. We don't need him.
Henry: Yup. We have settled another settlement. I call it: Fort Afonso de Alburquerque Sucks!
Joao: Maybe a little less explicit...
Henry: Fine, I guess you're right. I'll name it after a movie I saw a short while ago.



Joao: France appears to be routing the Incas...
Manuel: Maybe we should intervene.
Henry: Kumbaya, kumbaya! By that, I mean we need to dwarf the French Empire! More colonies! More colonies! Colonial Isolationism, Colonial Isolationism! No: Imperialist Isolationism!



Joao: Okay, Henry, you seem to be rather bloodthursty today. To appease you, we are sending explorers to explore the Amazon, a useless jungle. But all I see are piles of resources waiting to be exploited!



Manuel: We really are falling behind France...
Magellan: All that means is we need to make a bigger world map. Speaking of map, you may not like some changes...



Joao: Dang it, Mali! Quit failing!







Joao: Hooray for engineers!
Manuel: Speak of the devil!
Joao: What?! HEATHEN!



Manuel: We've had our fun and games. We need a new general. Afonso was too aggressive.
Man: I may be able to help.
Manuel: Who is this?
Joao: Man, meet Manuel.
Man: Wazzup?
Manuel: Who is this?
Joao: Just a close friend. Of Afonso's. I don't even know his name but it is long so he must be threatening.
Man: Diogo Lopes de Sequeira, at your service.
Henry: What can you do for us?
Diogo Lopes de Sequeira: I can kill people. Who should I kill?
Henry: I don't know if I like this guy...
Manuel: Same here... I'd never appoint him to any governmental office in an alternate dimension or something such as that...
Joao: You two are the most crazy guys I know. I don't think I should tell you.
Diogo Lopes de Sequeira: Will you tell me?
Joao: Yes, you are my general! Now...

best.update.ever.