The Lord told me that rapture is very soon

Krogan Doctor · Jan 18, 2014

Greetings to all. I realise I will probably be banned for posting this but I don't really care. God told me this afternoon that rapture is going to happen very soon. The sign given was invisible hands straining to pull me upwards. If you are a Christian and are in a state of grace you have nothing to worry. If you are not a Christian there is no better time to convert. God bless you all, brothers and sisters in God.

Archbob · Jan 18, 2014

Didn't Jesus specifically say that no one will know the time or the hour?

JollyRoger · Jan 18, 2014

God hasn't cleared it with me yet - thanks for the whistleblowing.

Synobun · Jan 18, 2014

You've surely convinced me. A reminder that your God is a terrible person has won me over to your side.

warpus · Jan 18, 2014

The sun is reporting it too.. I have my doubts

Arachnofiend · Jan 18, 2014

God better watch those hands, not everyone's so keen on such a feely deity.

Gigaz · Jan 18, 2014

Krogan Doctor said:
Greetings to all. I realise I will probably be banned for posting this but I don't really care. God told me this afternoon that rapture is going to happen very soon. The sign given was invisible hands straining to pull me upwards. If you are a Christian and are in a state of grace you have nothing to worry. If you are not a Christian there is no better time to convert. God bless you all, brothers and sisters in God.

So, if the rapture hasn't happened in, let's say, 5 years, are you going to reconsider your religion?

Ziggy Stardust · Jan 18, 2014

Can you give me your money Krogan? Please pm me and we will arange it. The Lord will be so pleased with your faith.

bathsheba666 · Jan 18, 2014

Careful, my friend.

It is not without significance that you talk of the Lord, yet anoint this thread with the Red Diamond - as clear a symbol as ever was of the glowing eyes of Satan.

Beware the Great Deceiver. Your soul is in peril.

..and do not tempt His wrath....

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-25791938

El_Machinae · Jan 18, 2014

Gigaz said:
So, if the rapture hasn't happened in, let's say, 5 years, are you going to reconsider your religion?

This was the cause of my apostasy. I was in a church that commonly did these 'prophecies' and it was part of the culture. I was young and faithful, so I was prone to believing them. After awhile, I noticed that I was apparently the only one who was keeping track of how many of the prophecies failed.

It was a function of really, really believing and then being let down. Later on, the Problem of Evil became my main reason for apostasy, but failed prophecies were certainly the seed.

downtown · Jan 18, 2014

Matthew 24:36.

But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.

El_Machinae · Jan 18, 2014

Deuteronomy 18
20 “But if any prophet presumes to speak anything in my name that I have not authorized him to speak, or speaks in the name of other gods, that prophet must die. 21 Now if you say to yourselves, ‘How can we tell that a message is not from the Lord?’ – 22 whenever a prophet speaks in my name and the prediction is not fulfilled, then I have not spoken it; the prophet has presumed to speak it, so you need not fear him."

Being a false prophet actually used to be an executable offense in the Bible.

Funky · Jan 18, 2014

Krogan Doctor said:
I realise I will probably be banned for posting this.

I am very grateful for you posting such a comment, because it openly displays the astounding bigotry which is common among many people of religious faith.

I don't want to waste further words on this, but would like to point you to this video

Mechanicalsalvation · Jan 18, 2014

Krogan Doctor said:
Greetings to all. I realise I will probably be banned for posting this but I don't really care. God told me this afternoon that rapture is going to happen very soon. The sign given was invisible hands straining to pull me upwards. If you are a Christian and are in a state of grace you have nothing to worry. If you are not a Christian there is no better time to convert. God bless you all, brothers and sisters in God.

April fool is stil far away you know...

Zack · Jan 18, 2014

Krogan Doctor said:
The sign given was invisible hands straining to pull me upwards.

How could you see the hands and what they were doing if they were invisible?

Bugfatty300 · Jan 18, 2014

But why does god smell like a butt?

Tahuti · Jan 18, 2014

Gigaz said:
So, if the rapture hasn't happened in, let's say, 5 years, are you going to reconsider your religion?

Believing in very strongly worded prophecies that end up as a failure often tend to reinforce belief, not weaken it.

Funky said:
I am very grateful for you posting such a comment, because it openly displays the astounding bigotry which is common among many people of religious faith.

Of course, all religious people are fundamentalists. Unlike internet atheists, who will attack any slight cultural influence emanated from religion. :rolleyes:

Bugfatty300 · Jan 18, 2014

"common among many" doesn't mean "all"

Gigaz · Jan 18, 2014

Kaiserguard said:
Believing in very strongly worded prophecies that end up as a failure often tend to reinforce belief, not weaken it.

Would you say that it doesn't matter whether the things you believe are true and that the belief itself is the thing that matters?

Cheezy the Wiz · Jan 18, 2014

Why did The Lord wait until the 17th Century to tell us about the rapture?

The Lord told me that rapture is very soon

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