CFC Wanted Ads

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floppa21

Crusty Manhole
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Aug 24, 2001
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WANTED: One single female, aged 18 - 30, must enjoy cardiovascular workouts, must be nimble and flexible, no commitment necessary, no love needed, smokers okay.
 
My question is more..I dunno: Why are you posting this here? There are barely any women here! The ones that are here are either too young (me), married, or a little scared of you. (me again) :p
 
SEEKING A SERVANT
Evil Dictator, early 20s, Nordic appearence seeks companion for afternoon tea, etc. Male, all limbs intact, preferably smoker, aged 8-15, cute appearence, preferably blond hair/blue eyes, soprano, conversant in Volpük, enjoys Harry Potter, films, music, long walks on moonlit beachs, battleships, torture and biscuits, flogging the inferior, cricket, football, drinking tea with cocked pinky, rough shag (tobacco), discussing the philosophy of such great thinkers as Machiavelli, Schopenhauer, Hitler and Barbara Cartland, and helping with the final solution to the Times crossword. Additional duties to be specified at later stage.
 
I wanted this to be like a Wanted section where people could post whatever, but you schmucks are ruining it!

NO COMMENTS, JUST ADS! :p
 
Okay then:

Wanted
Single white male, 15-18, cute, athletic. Likes dogs, is kind to others, and will go shopping with me no matter how boring it is because he wants to be with me. Must be at least taller than 5'5"! :D
 
You shld have said so in your first post, as well as leaving behind instructions on how to respond i.e. emails, PMs. :p
 
WANTED...

crim167a.jpg


... for bank fraud. $2500 reward.

:p
 
Originally posted by Superevie
Okay then:

Wanted
Single white male, 15-18, cute, athletic. Likes dogs, is kind to others, and will go shopping with me no matter how boring it is because he wants to be with me. Must be at least taller than 5'5"! :D

Oddly enough thats just about me, :eek: minus the friendly and shopping part.:p
 
Originally posted by Superevie
Okay then:

Wanted
Single white male, 15-18, cute, athletic. Likes dogs, is kind to others, and will go shopping with me no matter how boring it is because he wants to be with me. Must be at least taller than 5'5"! :D

Alright since it's all comments...

I'm single, only part white, 28, NOT cute, NOT athletic. I HATE dogs generally, NOT kind generally, I might go woth the shopping bit for a short time. 6'1". Looks like we were made for each other Evie.
 
You left out the male part, which is telling. As for finding a male who likes shopping, I do not think such a beast exists.
 
Originally posted by Simon Darkshade
You left out the male part, which is telling. As for finding a male who likes shopping, I do not think such a beast exists.

:rotfl: True. But he doesn't have to enjoy shopping because that means something isn't...ahem... right. I just want him to be loyal and sweet and spend time with me. :)
 
Wanted: Any sum of money greater than my age squared. Since I won't divulge that here, just send a large amount. If it's not enough, you'll be fined and required to send another 'donation', again guessing if it's enough.

[drool] 40,000 members. . . [singing]I'm in the money. . .I'm in the money. . .[/singing][/drool]
 
You are most welcome, floppy.

Superevie - What you ask is against reason, law and God. Loyal, sweet, and keeping company are one thing. But if you want such emotions to manifest themselves in a male in regards shopping, then you may as well cut them off.
 
Well, I can shop if it is bordering on hobby/obsession... Say, for Lindburgh & Benson watches... :)
 
Originally posted by Simon Darkshade
You are most welcome, floppy.

Superevie - What you ask is against reason, law and God. Loyal, sweet, and keeping company are one thing. But if you want such emotions to manifest themselves in a male in regards shopping, then you may as well cut them off.

I get it. ;) I was using the shopping as an example of "undying love" because I know guys hate it so much. They'd really have to like you to go and drag their feet. :lol:
 
Wanted: An English Test Cricket Team

Must be able to bowl in accurately at a wicket, catch ball regularly and hit the ball with a bat.
Also must be willing to play against other teams and beat them.
No time wasters or one day specialists need apply.

Please contact ECWB, London, England
 
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