Orc Onslaught: Tyrion

Tyrions Orc Onslaught!!!!!!
Part 1.
Ruins, Meetings and De Wonder.

Note: This is the first time i have played on this difficulty. Im a Regent Kid. Yes Kid. Spelling is meant to be in orcish style.

De Awesome orcish peoples had decided to settle down and have sum babies. After all who better to teach de art of fumping to then your own kids. Dey settled de city of Karag Oran upon a river beside and old forest. It was close to de ocean so dey could go fer swims and it was also close to de elephants and cattle, which were good fumping practice. Strangly the wise men decided to look into farming. Soon de first snotlings decided to go out exploring.



Dey struck out north and soon saw ruins on de horizon. De friendly people of de ruins taught us warrior code. Den we fumped em. No point letting em tell anyone else now was der.



Soon another snotling group decided to go exploring, dey went south. After time our culture expanded as did our knowledge of de world. Some Goblin spearmen were built but they just hung around.

The snotlings going south had found another tribe. Dese people had obviously heard of us and decided to join us. We built de city of Bogradd der and den.

De Snotlings going north found de pretty wood elves who proposed trade.



We accepted thinking we woud get our own back some day.

As far as we knew dey wernt making any wonders so after building a settler we started de errantry war.

Our southern snotling unit named Snotty 2 found another set of ruins. In these ruins we scavenged some gold and moved on. Our Northern Snoty unit Snoty One was stuck behind elvish borders.

Soon Fegg was built in between Bogradd and Karag Oran.

On a cold miserable day Snoty One was killed by some deranged lunatic who thought it was funny that his ead could rotate 360 Degrees.

Soon sum weirdo scholar appeared and declared that we were de wealthiest nation in de world. We were pleased so we didn’t fump ‘im.



Soon after we began an operation to keep de pesky elves out of our land. We lined the pass with snoty units so they couldn’t get passed. It was called ‘Operation stick Snots in de way’.

Somehow de Elves became more advanced tha us even though just shortly before they were behind by a tech. We had researched Farming and Mining and had found Warrior code. While they had these and Ballistics.

In De year -400 IC we completed Errantry war.

And so we leave our great nation to return another time soon.

Pic Two Finding De Ruins.

Pic 3 Meeting Ariel

Shot 4 Top 8 Wealthy People

Nice job. Your game seems to be heading along the same tracks as mine. I too tried to hem in the elves but they eventually got through. I also got a tech, a city and a 25 gold from ruins - expansionist is really quite a useful trait. Good luck.

Good luck - like in your previous story, I enjoy the fumping - hope this one ends more glorious than the last one though ...

Not Likely this is my first time on emperor if anything de orcs will be getting de fumping. But we'll try. Chapter two coming up.

Tyrion’s Orc Onslaught!!!!!!!!!
Part 2
Iron, Pink Mushy Dings and Floating Wood.


De orcish people had just established the city Borzag on da river ‘Boom’. All was well, our culture in Karag Oran expanded again as it continued work on De Standing Stones. Some of de boyz were not sure why we were making de stones stand up and what the point was. In truth no-one really did know what the point was but kept going anyway.



Sadly we couldn’t manage to stand de stones up first and word reached us dat weird lizard critters had beaten us to de punch.

Soon we had a worker who began a road connecting Fegg and Karag Oran. Our Kulture grew in Fegg as well. Soon another settler group was readied and sent off to make babies sum place else. Barbarians were seen and we ad to form the city early. At least we got one though.

De Pesky elves mnaged to bypass our snoty wall and started hunting barbarians. Soon we formed de city of Bruglodd to keep an eye on de elves.



De elves continued to push ahead of us in techs and we couldn’t manage to convince dem to sell em to us. Soon after we built de city of Rokyug to secure some wolves for future plans. Then anoder strange man came around lugging a big book which said we wernt advanced, we bashed ‘im.
And den we met de Westerlanders who had just landed on our land. We managed to buy riding off dem.


De funny westerlander peoples settle de city of Frostrup. After sum of dem go exploring into a forest we find dat dey are all pink and mush on de inside. Luckily we only kill a couple of peasent so dey don’t notice.

And so de elves also used floating pieces of wood to get around de operation snot wall and settled on de oder side.


And So we leave de grand orcish peoples to return onader time.

De Elves Bypassing our Snots.

De Pink Mushy Dings

Tyrions Orc Onslaught
Part 3
WAAAGGHH!!!! And Peace.


De first Black Orcs started appearing druged up on squig excrement and snotling beer dey were always read to inflict some damage. Elves continued to settle all over de place and our anger against dem increased. Maybe dey deserved a fumping. No not yet dey would have to wait before we fumped em good.

In 820 IC Gorbad had had enough he wasn’t going to put up wit dis no longer. De elves were spreading like a plague and the Pink Squishy dings were getting just as bad. So we attacked em and declared WAAAGGGHHH!!!!!! First we attacked a settler unit with snottys. We captured dem and made em slaves, or alcoholic beverages. Soon our sick Black boyz smashed Frostrup and took control.



Soon after dat de citizens of Skabbad came down wit de flue. In a interview wit a orc sent to investigate he said dis,
“ Dey all lying on de ground. Dey wouldn’t even get up if I kicked em.”

De Pink Mushy dings wouldn’t talk to us even when we offered em roasted squig. We wanted to extort ‘peece’ a strange humi word for technology. De westerlanders tried to settle anoder city to de south but we caught dere settler unguarded. Days turned into dose dings longer den days and dey turned into dings longer den dem and dey in turn turned into dings longer den dem. Snotlings were put on special mushrooms to make em bigger ad den we armed em to da teef. Soon dey became de black orcs. Anoder ship was sighted ad we waited o see wait goodies it would drop off. We also formed groups of settlers to fill in gaps between borders.

Soon sum humies were seen coming down from de north. We Fumped half of em but some of our boyz got sticked (Killed).



Swarms of de humie dings swept down from de north. It was like a chirstmass with fumping fodder galore. We butchered de enemy and sent em running. Sadly some of ours boyz never got up after tripping. But de enemy was sent off squeling like little snotys. We still couldn’t get de Westerlanders to give us any tech for peace so war raged on. To show em we meant it we sacrificed dere workers who we had caught to de Great Gods. After making em work of course. Enemy Spearmen had moved through elvish terriotory to destroy roads. Wat dey didn’t know as dat we were waiting.



We decided dat further war was pointless as we wouldn’t get anyding out of it. We ad no floating pieces of wood to carry our men to de Westerland homeland so we made peece, we got all dere gold and 4 per turn.



And so we end this part of de story, to cum back anoder time.

De Humans Come from de North.

De Ambush.

Da Peace. And da Devil.

Hey just wanted to know what people think about the pictures and things. I would also want to ask for advice. Whether to build up before striking the Elves or jump right in?

Also on the top of Chapter Three, Can people see the Emblem or is it just Text?

I think it would be better if you didn't shrink the pics, but rather cut out parts. As it's now it's hard to read the text. It would also be better if you saved them as jpg rather than gif.
I can't see the pic you tried to link to off-site. (the bitvaazeroth thingy)

I second what mrtn said - the bitmaps you're using right now are way too small and if you'd save it as *.jpg they would use less space even if they were twice the size...

That picture you've posted doesn't show, because the url lacks the "http://".
Other than that, I think it would look better if you upload the pictures using the file upload at the bottom of this page and post them somewhere in the text, but that's not too important - just mention it because you've asked for advice .

All in all, it's allready great to see your pictures improving over your last story - it's much appreciated here

edit: Oh - and your question if you should jump right in or build up: depends on what you have I'd say - with one snotling per city you wont do much, I guess.

I personally tend to jump in in most of my games, because it's the only way I can force myself to really build up (I'm a peacefull player and I just can't build too much military unless I'm forced to by an ongoing war) - but I guess that's just me.


Downloaded the startsave btw - guess I'll play it too, but I wont write a story, 'cause I can't write stories at all

Keep it up Tyrion. I agree with the others about the pics, they're a bit on the small side to work out all the detail, make them bigger and if you use JPEG format they'll take up less file space.

About the elves, personally I'd build up your forces first at least until you get a bunch of Black Orcs. If you ain't faced elves before you should know that they don't fight fair -they run away when they're hurtin' unlike our orcs boyz who don't blink an eye at the odd missing limb. Good luck anyways.

Thansk ill loom into Jpeg. How do i get it to taek screenshots as Jpegs?

Just "save as" and chose jpeg when saving - or you could just type .jpg after the name...