"Sire, I'm pleased to report that after 200 years of violent struggle and untold hardship we have finally captured vile Carthage from its perfidious owners!"
"Excellent my lad; see to it that the sowing of the salt and the burning of the buildings is started immediately. Oh, and don't forget the looting and the pillaging. First pillage, then burn of course. C'mon, run along now. The sooner we do this the sooner we can get home and retire with the luscious ladies."
"Umm, sire... There is a
slight issue here. You see, Carthage
cannot be razed."
"(stares at him dumbfounded) ... What do you mean it
can't be razed? We just razed Syracuse, didn't we? Damn fine job, too. The rubble's so fine you could use it to lay roads on. Why would this city be any different?"
"Sire, it's because it's the
capital of Carthage."
"(stares at him some more, looking increasingly confused) ... Why would that matter a fig? We'll burn the bureaucrats along with the rest! In fact we'll reserve the hottest fires especially for them! (serves them right for not renewing the mortgage on my summer cabin, he thought to himself)"
"Sire, it's because... Be-because... The gods ordained it?"
"
Gods ordained it, eh? I see. And what if they ordained you a nice bout in the Libyan salt mines, too? So that I could see what your successor thinks of this issue? Eh, lad, what do you think about that idea?"
"Sire I will get the torches and the oil asap. Pardon the delay! Burn it is; burn and then pillage. Or was it the other way around? Anyway, haste is of the essence. See you back in Rome sire, hope you get good loot, ta-ta!"
"That's more like it, run along now. (mutters to himself) 'Gods ordained it'... The loons they hire these days! I've razed twenty capitals myself back in the
first,
second,
third and
fourth centuries. Why would the
fifth be any different? If it is it doesn't make any sense, that's for damn sure."