BvBPL
Pour Decision Maker
So my company is on this health kick. They just out this newsletter about how to stay healthy over the summer, with tips for both exercising and eating right.
Ive added by own commentary.
Try these summer exercise tips to stay healthy all year round:
1.Never skip your workouts on both Friday and Monday. If you do, you will likely go four full days (Fri, Sat, Sun, Mon) without working out. Four missed days could turn into weeks, months, summers, and years!
I dont know what kind of calendar theyre using, but those four full days that turn into years seems like a good time to schedule a couple personal days around.
2.Exercise during your kid's practices. Why sit around for 1-2 hours watching kids practice? Take advantage of the time and walk or jog.
Heaven forefend you ever watch your children have fun or that you ever spend a single minute performing an activity that doesnt revolve around yourself.
3.Get a stability ball, medicine ball and dumbbells to exercise while watching television reruns.
But never during first run shows!
4.Walk or bike to the store a few blocks away instead of driving. Walk everywhere you can, every day! It will make a difference.
Yes, youll be sweaty and miserable!
5.Exercise at your hotel while on vacation.
Screw, the Louvre, Norte Dame, and the Bastille. When in Paris check out their Nautilus machines.
6.Take advantage of the summer family discounts at the local health club and go exercise with your kids.
After doing three steps of twelve reps each of bench presses with little Johnny, I fold up darling Jane into a yoga ball for my ab routine.
7.Don't forget to "reasonably" (at least 90% compliance) stick to your healthy meal plan during the summer!
If you arent 90% compliant youll fail your audit! Errr, wait, are these irony quotes around reasonable? So they dont want us to be reasonable. And who the hell uses the term compliance when talking about a diet?
8.Remember that sweating has nothing to do with losing fat or weight. Sweating just cools down your body. A caloric deficit (burning more calories than you consume) will cause you to lose weight.
So skip all those sweaty exercises and just light Big Macs on fire.
9.Have fun.Change up your exercise routine and include fun exercises like jump rope games, dancing, relay games, obstacle courses,and speed hop-scotch. You could also play in a recreational soccer, basketball or flag football league....oh yeah, go swimming for fun and exercise!
Are you having fun yet? Are you having fun? Have fun, damn it. Schnell, schnell!
Nothing burns away those love handles like a rousing game of speed hop-scotch.
10. There is no tip ten.
Who the hell makes a list with only nine tips? Stupid employer, never going all the way for its workers. I guess its okay because this list is ninety percent compliant.
Diet tips too!
1.When booking a hotel or vacation rental, look for a place that has a small refrigerator or kitchen access. Preparing nutritious meals will help you maintain balance in your diet, even while vacationing.
Because vacation should never mean that you can just relax and let someone else make you a damn sandwich for once.
2.Keep healthy foods on hand. This can help minimize your chances of splurging on high-calorie snacks and meals when dining out. Plan your menus and pack your food while on vacation or on the go. This will help you avoid the fast food trap and binge eating.
With the popularity of fur on the decline, trappers apparently have gone from hunting beavers to preying on people who didnt make a salad the night before. Be especially careful if you see any bearded men wearing flannel in a McDonalds. Doubly so if they have Canadian accents.
3.Create a game plan for making smart choices before you dine out. Restaurant portions are usually oversized, consider splitting your meal with someone else to avoid overeating. Ordering from the appetizer menu can be a useful and cost-effective way of controlling calories.
Cheap chic is in right now, and nothing says cheap like trying order off the lunch menu in Applebees at eight oclock at night.
Or just dont eat everything they put in front of you. I mean, seriously, are you eating at some weird new age restaurant where they tie a feedbag to you or something? Has no one ever heard of doggie bags?
(I love that they suggest ordering off the app menu as a healthy alternative cause eating just that blommin onion is so much better for you than getting a fish entrée with a salad.)
4.Before you barbecue, stock up on lean protein choices such as skinless chicken breast and extra-lean beef for burgers. Other diet-conscious barbecue foods include veggie burgers on whole wheat buns, grilled vegetables, crisp salads, and corn-on-the-cob. For something sweet, try serving fresh fruit salad with seasonal produce or homemade 100% juice popsicles.
As a bonus, this will save you money by ensuring no one ever comes to your tasteless barbeques ever again. Also, who spells barbeque with a c?
5.Stay hydrated. With higher temperatures comes the need to drink more, particularly for children.
Break out the wine coolers for the tykes!
Choose low-calorie and no-calorie beverages. In addition to water, serve unsweetened iced tea and flavored sparkling water.
Oops, better make that vodka spritzers.
6.This is the time of year when fresh fruits and vegetables are in abundance. Head to your local farmers market to check out the colorful array of whats in season, such as ripe berries, tasty melons, stone fruits, and summer squashes. Bring home something you have not tried before and use it in a new recipe for dinner.
Your hungry family will be delighted as you stumble through how to properly prepare whatever weird-ass legume you picked up.
Ive added by own commentary.
Try these summer exercise tips to stay healthy all year round:
1.Never skip your workouts on both Friday and Monday. If you do, you will likely go four full days (Fri, Sat, Sun, Mon) without working out. Four missed days could turn into weeks, months, summers, and years!
I dont know what kind of calendar theyre using, but those four full days that turn into years seems like a good time to schedule a couple personal days around.
2.Exercise during your kid's practices. Why sit around for 1-2 hours watching kids practice? Take advantage of the time and walk or jog.
Heaven forefend you ever watch your children have fun or that you ever spend a single minute performing an activity that doesnt revolve around yourself.
3.Get a stability ball, medicine ball and dumbbells to exercise while watching television reruns.
But never during first run shows!
4.Walk or bike to the store a few blocks away instead of driving. Walk everywhere you can, every day! It will make a difference.
Yes, youll be sweaty and miserable!
5.Exercise at your hotel while on vacation.
Screw, the Louvre, Norte Dame, and the Bastille. When in Paris check out their Nautilus machines.
6.Take advantage of the summer family discounts at the local health club and go exercise with your kids.
After doing three steps of twelve reps each of bench presses with little Johnny, I fold up darling Jane into a yoga ball for my ab routine.
7.Don't forget to "reasonably" (at least 90% compliance) stick to your healthy meal plan during the summer!
If you arent 90% compliant youll fail your audit! Errr, wait, are these irony quotes around reasonable? So they dont want us to be reasonable. And who the hell uses the term compliance when talking about a diet?
8.Remember that sweating has nothing to do with losing fat or weight. Sweating just cools down your body. A caloric deficit (burning more calories than you consume) will cause you to lose weight.
So skip all those sweaty exercises and just light Big Macs on fire.
9.Have fun.Change up your exercise routine and include fun exercises like jump rope games, dancing, relay games, obstacle courses,and speed hop-scotch. You could also play in a recreational soccer, basketball or flag football league....oh yeah, go swimming for fun and exercise!
Are you having fun yet? Are you having fun? Have fun, damn it. Schnell, schnell!
Nothing burns away those love handles like a rousing game of speed hop-scotch.
10. There is no tip ten.
Who the hell makes a list with only nine tips? Stupid employer, never going all the way for its workers. I guess its okay because this list is ninety percent compliant.
Diet tips too!
1.When booking a hotel or vacation rental, look for a place that has a small refrigerator or kitchen access. Preparing nutritious meals will help you maintain balance in your diet, even while vacationing.
Because vacation should never mean that you can just relax and let someone else make you a damn sandwich for once.
2.Keep healthy foods on hand. This can help minimize your chances of splurging on high-calorie snacks and meals when dining out. Plan your menus and pack your food while on vacation or on the go. This will help you avoid the fast food trap and binge eating.
With the popularity of fur on the decline, trappers apparently have gone from hunting beavers to preying on people who didnt make a salad the night before. Be especially careful if you see any bearded men wearing flannel in a McDonalds. Doubly so if they have Canadian accents.
3.Create a game plan for making smart choices before you dine out. Restaurant portions are usually oversized, consider splitting your meal with someone else to avoid overeating. Ordering from the appetizer menu can be a useful and cost-effective way of controlling calories.
Cheap chic is in right now, and nothing says cheap like trying order off the lunch menu in Applebees at eight oclock at night.
Or just dont eat everything they put in front of you. I mean, seriously, are you eating at some weird new age restaurant where they tie a feedbag to you or something? Has no one ever heard of doggie bags?
(I love that they suggest ordering off the app menu as a healthy alternative cause eating just that blommin onion is so much better for you than getting a fish entrée with a salad.)
4.Before you barbecue, stock up on lean protein choices such as skinless chicken breast and extra-lean beef for burgers. Other diet-conscious barbecue foods include veggie burgers on whole wheat buns, grilled vegetables, crisp salads, and corn-on-the-cob. For something sweet, try serving fresh fruit salad with seasonal produce or homemade 100% juice popsicles.
As a bonus, this will save you money by ensuring no one ever comes to your tasteless barbeques ever again. Also, who spells barbeque with a c?
5.Stay hydrated. With higher temperatures comes the need to drink more, particularly for children.
Break out the wine coolers for the tykes!
Choose low-calorie and no-calorie beverages. In addition to water, serve unsweetened iced tea and flavored sparkling water.
Oops, better make that vodka spritzers.
6.This is the time of year when fresh fruits and vegetables are in abundance. Head to your local farmers market to check out the colorful array of whats in season, such as ripe berries, tasty melons, stone fruits, and summer squashes. Bring home something you have not tried before and use it in a new recipe for dinner.
Your hungry family will be delighted as you stumble through how to properly prepare whatever weird-ass legume you picked up.
