A question for guys: Would you ever get Cosmo for your girlfriend?

[LucyDuke]

Okay, what I hear from this is that you think when it comes to the bedroom, women shouldn't need or desire to learn, they should know already, or ask their partners. And it's wrong to try to get help in this department.

I disagree, people lack knowladge and fall behind when they are afraid to ask for help or make the effort to learn. We all learn everything from somewhere after all. You may be thinking, "but we should just ask each other what we like," well, that's true for many things but when it comes to sex, it would kind of ruin the surprise, and make it feel fake.

I'm not saying women shouldn't try to learn new bedroom tricks. I'm saying Cosmo is a crappy source. I'm not saying one's partner should be the only person one discusses sex with, either. Other people are a better option than a magazine that exists to make money and perpetuate the ideals the market likes best.

Also, I don't think Cosmo's purpose is to be an authority figure, it's purpose is to teach and entertain. You may have thought you'd be lost without Seventeen's teachings when you were young, but to be honest, that problem sounds more like a lack of personal confidence than a crappy magizine.

Its purpose is to make money. It makes money by, among other things, establishing itself as an indispensable authority.

Of course it was a lack of personal confidence, I was a 13-year old girl. The problem is that these types of magazines manage to give that feeling to grown women who should know better.

I might be giving Cosmo a harder time than it deserves. But that crap does a lot of damage to women who are still susceptible to the crap I mentioned in my first post.

And as to your OP, it would be an incredibly insulting move.

 

[Atticus]

I can't imagine that I had a girlfriend who would like to have a copy of Cosmo. The magazine isn't just rubbish, but it also teaches stupid things, those mentioned before and also that relationships and mating rituals are battlegorund: who even likes those little princesses playing hard-to-get and stupid jealousy games? Not me.

Women that wear uncomfortable shoes and complain about it all night?

And besides people who look like they're not enjoying the way they are don't look very nice, so they gain nothing with those shoes, on the contrary.

 

[Mise]

I'm not saying women shouldn't try to learn new bedroom tricks. I'm saying Cosmo is a crappy source. I'm not saying one's partner should be the only person one discusses sex with, either. Other people are a better option than a magazine that exists to make money and perpetuate the ideals the market likes best.

What if they don't feel that they can talk to anyone? Where do they go?

Its purpose is to make money. It makes money by, among other things, establishing itself as an indispensable authority.

Who do you think writes these magazines?!?!

Do you honestly believe that the women who write the articles don't genuinely believe that they are helping women overcome real, legitimate problems? The people who write the articles obviously care a great deal about their eyeshadow or this summer's fashion or how to look good in a bikini. I don't know where you get the idea that these writers are sitting at their desks, grinning from ear to ear, lying through their teeth, and rolling in cash. They're not. They're people.

Doctors make money too, but that doesn't mean that they don't genuinely want to help people.

 

[IglooDame]

Actually I'd be more likely to get her a copy of that 4-issues/yr "magazine" that Fifty mentioned.

Though I'd pick up a copy of any magazine she asked for, I'd definitely ask why she wanted it - goodness knows I'm a better authority on what pleases me than any magazine on a newsstand, and it's not like I keep such things secret from her.

 

[Mise]

and it's not like I keep such things secret from her.

Or anyone else

 

[stormbind]

No, because I read some of the **** in those magazines.

 

[Gogf]

I have actully read some of those articles, and they hit the nail on the head.

Okay, let's be honest here: you're 14 years old. You don't really have any experience here: I highly doubt you've had sex before.

No offense intended, of course . People change a lot during their teenager years, and a young teenager definitely can't speak for a twenty-something like you suggested in the opening post.

 

[Rossiya]

To answer the OG who posted this thread: no, I would not get Cosmo for my girlfriend because he might charm her with his stupidity.

 

[Eukaryote]

What if they don't feel that they can talk to anyone? Where do they go?

Who do you think writes these magazines?!?!

Do you honestly believe that the women who write the articles don't genuinely believe that they are helping women overcome real, legitimate problems? The people who write the articles obviously care a great deal about their eyeshadow or this summer's fashion or how to look good in a bikini. I don't know where you get the idea that these writers are sitting at their desks, grinning from ear to ear, lying through their teeth, and rolling in cash. They're not. They're people.

Doctors make money too, but that doesn't mean that they don't genuinely want to help people.

QFT. Besides, I've read Cosmo's articles and they are definatly not just a pile of BS, thay're absoultly true. Women who lack confidence can't use a magizine a scapegoat, they have to get over their problem on their own.

 

[Eukaryote]

Okay, let's be honest here: you're 14 years old. You don't really have any experience here: I highly doubt you've had sex before.

No offense intended, of course . People change a lot during their teenager years, and a young teenager definitely can't speak for a twenty-something like you suggested in the opening post.

So you're suggesting the sexual things I crave will change over the years?

 

[Masquerouge]

Not really, it's purpose is to sell you ****.

And, have you ever actually read any of those "How to please your man" articles. I did a couple times, out of curiosity. It's phony quotes from "guys" (more likely women who just made them up) with weird lines like "When she bites my ear during lovemaking, I just go wild!".

I totally agree. BUt I guess that's what you get for giving sexual tips every month. At some point you just run dry.

 

[LucyDuke]

What if they don't feel that they can talk to anyone? Where do they go?

Cosmopolitan magazine is not going to solve their problems.

Who do you think writes these magazines?!?!

Do you honestly believe that the women who write the articles don't genuinely believe that they are helping women overcome real, legitimate problems?

No. Where are you getting this?

The people who write the articles obviously care a great deal about their eyeshadow or this summer's fashion or how to look good in a bikini. I don't know where you get the idea that these writers are sitting at their desks, grinning from ear to ear, lying through their teeth, and rolling in cash. They're not. They're people.

Yes. They are people whose priorities in life are eyeshadow and dieting. If that's what you want your girlfriend to worry about, well, to each his own, I guess.

Doctors make money too, but that doesn't mean that they don't genuinely want to help people.

Are you really comparing treating sick people to giving shampoo tips?

 

[LucyDuke]

QFT. Besides, I've read Cosmo's articles and they are definatly not just a pile of BS, thay're absoultly true.

Women who lack confidence can't use a magizine a scapegoat, they have to get over their problem on their own.

You've missed the point entirely.

 

[Cheezy the Wiz]

Men are pleased by women that take two hours to primp every morning before they leave the house? Women that worry whether they're wearing the perfect jeans for their butt? Women that wear uncomfortable shoes and complain about it all night? Women that are insecure because they think they need to look like they've been airbrushed free of their zits and photoshopped twenty pounds narrower? Women that don't believe they already know how to please men?

Some are, yes. Others are not. A close friend of mine is aboslutely gorgeous, but she insists on putting on makeup for an hour every day. I tell her: "why do you bother? You don't need it, you know." That's what society does to people who can't think for themselves, I guess.

Cosmo's biggest purpose is to convince women they're not good enough without Cosmo.

Its a classic marketing trick because if it works, as Cosmo seems to, you've got people hooked on your product, which, in the end, is what every corporation wants.

Just talk to your girlfriend about what you like.

And for God's sake, do it in person, not via text message or even phone.

 

[Gogf]

So you're suggesting the sexual things I crave will change over the years?

Yes, and I'm also saying that you can't accurately judge what you enjoy and how much you enjoy it until you've actually experienced it.

I'd also tend to agree with Lucy that buying your girlfriend a magazine so that she learns how to "MAKE HIM HAPPIER!!" would be a slap in the face. Not something I would ever do unless she asked me to...

 

[Narz]

they have to get over their problem on their own.

There are no articles to help them?

I totally agree. BUt I guess that's what you get for giving sexual tips every month. At some point you just run dry.

Heh, pun intended?

 

[Eukaryote]

No. Where are you getting this?

You're not saying this flat out, but you don't seem to be acknolaging the fact that the articles are actully written by people who want to help.

You've missed the point entirely.

What do you mean?

 

[BCLG100]

Sure why not? i've asked her to grab me fhm before its no big deal.

 

[Leonel]

I wouldn't get a girlfriend that read Cosmo in the first place. Problem solved!

 

[Mise]

Cosmopolitan magazine is not going to solve their problems.

So who can, if they can't talk to friends about it?

No. Where are you getting this?

People who read Cosmo...

And if, as you are saying, the writers hold eyeshadow and dieting as "priorities in life", don't you think that they believe these to be real issues affecting the lives of their readership?


Incidentally, why do you think there is such a wide variety of magazines available? Is it possible that a journalist writes what they want to write, and then finds a publication that fits their individual passions?

Yes. They are people whose priorities in life are eyeshadow and dieting. If that's what you want your girlfriend to worry about, well, to each his own, I guess.

Who says that they are "priorities"? Maybe they're just part of their lives. Maybe wearing eyeshadow is an accessory. Maybe dieting to fit into dresses you used to fit into when you were 18 makes you feel good about yourself. Maybe they do it because they take pride in their appearance. Why do you assume that people who do follow fashion are necessarily shallow, vacuous people? What's the difference between an artist and a fashion designer? What's the difference between someone who appreciates good art and someone who appreciates good design?

Are you really comparing treating sick people to giving shampoo tips?

Yes, what's the difference?

You seem unwilling to compare the fundamentals, perhaps because you're too wrapped up in the perceived "triviality" of what's written in Cosmo. Try not to consider what's actually being said by the magazine, and treat it as generic "advice". Why is that advice fundamentally different to advice given by anyone else? You said that it was because they made money from it (this was the thrust of the post I quoted) -- but no advice is free.