Stairway to Heaven

Night Five​





JoanK grabbed his coat and was just about to head out the door, when the door opened before JoanK even touched it. Standing right in front of him was a man, a man who made JoanK feel uneasy. JoanK started to back into his house. "Hey, uh, what's going on? How about this weather, huh? Crazy."

"Sure, whatever." The man stepped into the house and continued to walk forward, walking in sync with JoanK's moonwalk backwards into his house. Noticing this, the man stopped. "You've got some funky dance moves, JoanK. I cannot allow you to one-up my dancing skills like that. You leave me without only one option, JoanK.

"A dance off.

"TO THE DEATH!!!!
gc-skull.gif
"

JoanK stopped moonwalking and stood upright. "So be it. But first, I must warn you. I am the best dancer to ever walk the Earth."

The man frowned. "You are mistaken, my good man."

JoanK shrugged. "Believe what you will. Challengers go first."

"Very well."

"But first, let's go to my dance pad upstairs."

After they had trekked up to the dance pad, the man ripped off his sweatpants and sweatshirt, to reveal his dancing pants and dancing shirt underneath. JoanK whistled in amazement at the fine quality of the fabric of the clothing, particularly the remarkable way the fabric perfectly fit the form of the man's buttocks.

The man stepped into the center of the room and began with a breathtaking breakdance routine. JoanK's eyes could barely keep up with the movement of the man's legs and arms and various other parts. All JoanK could see was a blur of motion. After a few minutes of this, the man stood up, signaling the end of his routine.

JoanK clapped his hands. "That would have been the perfect breakdance, if not for one thing."

The man was puzzled. "What do you mean? It was the perfect breakdance. I spun like a top, my appendages flailed about with perfect precision and timing - it was a flawless routine."

JoanK shook his head. "It would have been, but you forgot the most important part of the breakdance: an obnoxious group of people, one of which is mounting a boombox upon his shoulders."

The man cursed, for he knew JoanK was right.

JoanK continued. "Now, let me show you a true breakdance." JoanK proceeded to whirl and twirl in a manner which the eyes of mere mortal men had never witnessed before. His breakdance was so impressive, the whole host of heaven was on their seats watching. The boombox was loud, the circle of people standing around JoanK was obnoxious, and JoanK's moves were astounding.

Unfortunately for JoanK, he forgot the most important rule of breakdancing.

The man grinned. "It seems you forgot the most important rule of breakdancing, JoanK. Once one begins the perfect breakdance, he cannot end until he dies!"

JoanK's heart sank; he knew the words were true. "NOOOOOOOOOO!"

JoanK then exploded.


Spoiler :
JoanK was Jehovah!


JoanK then ascended up to Heaven, where he could perform the perfect breakdance without exploding.

~~~~~~

Kennigit returned from the night's festivities to his own abode, where to his astonishment he found two men waiting for him.

"Hello Kennigit," they both said in eerie unison.

"Um, hello."

The two men quickly abandoned the pleasantries and pulled out their firearms. Kennigit responded just as quickly by pulling out a firearm of his own.

One of the men pointed their weapon at Kennigit, the other pointed his weapon at his gun at the man pointing his weapon at Kennigit, and Kennigit pointed his firearm at the man pointing his gun at the man pointing his weapon at Kennigit.

"It appears we have a Mexican standoff."

They stood for several minutes in this manner, sweating nervously. No one fired their weapon, and no one moved a muscle.

Suddenly, one of the two intruders in Kennigit's home came up with a clever idea. "Hey, I'll point my weapon at Kennigit instead of my co-worker." The Mexican standoff was over.

The two men simultaneously fired at Kennigit, who was able to get a shot off at one of his assailants before the bullets fired at him hit him.

Kennigit fell back at the impact of two bullets piercing his torso, and one of the two men collapsed at the impact of one bullet piercing his face.


Spoiler :
Kennigit was Moses!


Kennigit then ascended up to Heaven for the eternal Star Trek marathon (featuring Kennigit's favorite character, SpockFederation).

Spoiler :
Dreadnought was a Cult Leader!


Dreadnought then ascended up to Heaven for the eternal Futurama marathon.

~~~~~~

The man burst into Dreadnought's home, but found no one there. After waiting for several hours, he cursed to himself and went back to his own home.








Vote to lynch someone in BOLD!





DAY ENDS IN 48 HOURS AND 11 MINUTES!​
 
After 14 vanilla townie deaths in a row, three non-vanilla-townies are killed in one Night. :lol:

(To clarify, blue = the town power role, red = mafia, and purple = cult.)
 
Not with the Cult leader! :(

EDIT: x-post. You DIRTY MAFIOSO!
 
Basically, if a player is playing well, they will go to Heaven; if not, Hell (to clarify, this means that something that gives a townie salvation points does not necessarily give a cultist or mafia member salvation points, and vice versa).
Click to expand...

Also, Dreadnought is not Lucifer. He was a Cult Leader, not leader of the cult.
 
Aw man! Butbutbut.
 
unlike that snooty lucifer, I treat everyone equally.

listen to my word.
 
You ain't God, you're Moses.
 
Vote: robbiecon

You've been very quiet, not doing much except build a weak case on auto. I am not going to let you lurk your way to another victoly.
 
Hahahahaha, aaah-hahahaaa!
 
Okay, this is bad. The writeup implies that there are more than one Cult Leader. So that means that Cultists can turn into Cult Leaders. Pants. Robbiecon is the only lynch I can think of though.

@JoanK: Now that you're dead, would you mind telling us your powers? It might help lots.
 
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