ImmacuNES VI: Dreams and Legends

Also, Padubblins don't have legs. Yet.

Very good story Dogged. I much prefer the name you came up with compared to the famous sculptor from an earlier update!

Blackbard said:

Very good story Dogged. I much prefer the name you came up with compared to the famous sculptor from an earlier update!

Click to expand...

I think I mashed the keyboard a bit on that one. RP explanation: he was from a much earlier generation of garbled talking. Interaction with each other and the outside world has made their speech more melodic and easier to pronounce.

Submitting warning that my orders are going to be late, in the hope that they will continue to be accepted and all that jazz.

Looking at the desert sands, I see corpses lay strewn across the ground and villages burning. The sand itself has a deep red coloration. I put my hand in the sand and the small fine grains fell through my hands. I soon murdered, "so it begins."

A soldier called for me, "hey captain! come over here!"
I walked on over and noticed a few enemy soldiers remaining. They were too weak to put up any sort of fight.

"So what? Why haven't you killed them?"

"Well I tried using my sword to finish them off but it took large amounts of effort. I think their scales are too tough for most of our weaponry."

"Hrrm, interesting."

I then brought out my sword and then tried cutting one of the enemy soldiers but it proved to be of little use.

"I guess you're right..."

"Well what do we do?"

Suddenly, I grinned and said, "I think I have an idea!"

"What is it captain?"

"You shall see soon enough..."

I still need orders for,

Mukakai,
Taenar,
Iwa-Saalit,
Adrialixtla

Really sorry Immac, I will try to get them in tonight. But if other people still have yet to send theirs, maybe a 24 hour extension could be a good idea?

Done.

I drank bad milk anyway. Don't really have the will to work on the update. This gives me a great excuse.

You should unleash upon them the penitent perytons.

Guys. Baraudtcha is a hell of a drink. I swear. Ya'll need to try it when we have contact.

Overdue orders will be accepted for another 3hrs from the time of this post.

Another take to depict Cuarne uttering his satire:

Well done LDicesare. He sort of does look super tall somehow (9' like you said). But maybe thats just because i know he's so tall.

I need a pair of those pants.

You don't have legs.

Iuchann caught his breath as the warriors finished chasing the wolves.
"Thank you, mates... Pufff... Good things I'm so clever, don't you think?"
The danaans looked at him surprised.
"Clever? You call running on the road alone with no weapons is clever?
-Oh, but I have a club. I just left it near my cart when the wolves came. But I knew there were patrols, so I didn't really have to fight. That's why I don't wear gold you see: I traded it for more goods to exchange with the Padubblins. I knew the trade route would be safe. That's called forward thinking. That's why they call me Iuchann the Clever."

And so Iuchann told them his story:

Indeed, he had left the Many Colored Land with only a club and a handcart full of trade goods for the Padubblins to buy. He needed some success in his business because things hadn't gone right recently.
Iuchann had used to trade pots with the northerners, those small men whose name he could never remember. He had started a prosperous trade with his brother Brian and things had gone quite well. One day, he decided to fly with his own wings. He had bought a lot of fine Celestian wares. These were a solid investment, but lately their sales had lowered. So there was this huge bunch of pots waiting for an astute buyer. Iuchann had immediately found out what great opportunity this was. The fine pots used to sell well, there was no reason for this to change. It was just every northerner had bought all they needed. Iuchann simply had to buy these pots, move farther south, and there he would sell them and get heaps of gold.
This was a very clever plan, of course.
But things didn't go that well. The southerners were either buying Padubblin pottery, or making their own. How could Iuchann have anticipated that?
Anyway, this piece of bad luck had hurt Iuchann a lot. He had lost most of his goods and bis brother Brian had been quite rude to him afterward, refusing to work with him again.

That is why Iuchann had decided to find a new opportunity.
He was a danaan, and danaans were clever. That is what differentiates them from animals.
For instance, everyone knows a fox eats his leg when caught in a trap. That is stupid. The poor animal ends up with only three legs and will die pretty fast. When Iuchann had been ensnared by accident, he hadn't cut off his leg. He had waited it out until someone came and freed him. That had been clever. He had almost starved to death and it took him a moon to recover his health, but he had survived with all his members still attached.

Iuchann and his saviors finally reached the cart and the club the daring trader had left when running away from the wolves. The cart was full of fine clothes. One of the warriors proposed to exchange a few of these for a gold ring, so Iuchann would at least be able to use magic to scare away animals, but the trader refused. He would make a much better profit at the Padubblins. They couldn't be shrewd traders after all. They were not as clever as danaans. They even lived in high places where it's hard to breathe, and you have to be some kind of lackwit in order to live in succh a place.
The patrolling danaans accompanied Iuchann the Clever for a few days, until he entered Padubblin territory.

It was another moon before they saw him come back on the road. He dragged the same heavy cart behind him and, this time, no wolves were running after him.
"Greetings, Iuchann the Clever. How did things go at the Padubblins?
-Oh, don't ask me. They are even dumber than I thought. Look."
The patroller looked at the cart and saw the very same cargo of trousers he had seen before.
"They're so dumb, they don't even have legs!" cried Iuchann the Clever.

Thats so good LDiCesare.

I did a real LOL.

Wow.

Did you actually write that after dogged and I made those comments?