End Day One - Hello Toaster My Old Friend
Kryten: It appears the ships name is Eden sir.
Rimmer: How can you tell that from a signal?
Kryten: Its painted on the hull of the ship.
Lister: Right, Rimmer, Cat get the bazookoids and the transporter. We’re going in.
Cat: This place is uh-gly.
Rimmer: Seems like nobody’s home. Excellent.
Kryten: According to this computer the Eden is a science vessel.
Lister: Oh yeah? What’s it used for?
Kryten: It doesn’t say, a lot of the data seems to be corrupted.
Lister: Well, whatever it was used for it should have some supplies somewhere, where’s the cargo hold Kryts?
Kryten: Right this way sirs.
*Clank* Clank* *Clank*
Rimmer: What’s that? I thought this place was empty!
Cat: Hold up! That’s a toaster!
Talkie Toaster: Howdy doodly do. How's it going? I'm Talkie, Talkie Toaster, your chirpy breakfast companion. Talkie's the name, toasting's the game. Anyone like any toast?
Lister: Look, I don't want any toast, and he doesn't want any toast. In fact, no one around here wants any toast. Not now, not ever. No toast.
Kryten: Let me have a talk to him, mechanical to mechanical. Now you listen here...
Talkie Toaster: How about a muffin?
Lister: Or muffins! We don't like muffins 'round here! We want no muffins, no toast, no tea cakes, no buns, baps, baguettes, or bagels, no croissants, no crumpets, no pancakes, no potato cakes, and no hot cross buns, and definetely, no smeggin' flapjacks!
Talkie Toaster: Aaah...so you're a waffle man!
Lister: No. Shhh. I'm busy.
Talkie Toaster Not busy eating toast though are you?
Lister: I don't want any.
Talkie Toaster: The whole purpose of my existence is meaningless if you don't want toast.
Lister: Good.
Talkie Toaster: I toast, therefore I am.
Cat: Bread for mercy. *Fires bazookoid*
Talkie Toaster: Before I die, I have one last question. Would you like a cheese and ham Breville?
Lister: Why would a science ship have a talking toaster?
Cat: Who cares! It’s toasted now.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Legato Endless has been lynched. He was
Alive
1. KingMorgan
2. johnhughthom
3. Snerk
4. MartinLuther
5. Zack
6. Robbiecon
7. Winston Hughes
8. Autolyucs
9. Jarrema
10. Sprig
11. Choxorn
12. Spaceman98
13. BSmith
14. Backwards Logic
15. SamSniped
16. Arakhor
17. Murska
18. Double A
19. Internet Flea
20. Bladescape
21. Pouter Pigeon
22. Cuthillius
23. Xym
24. Kennigit
25. Luzieu
26. remake20
27. Al sipsclar
28. Newyn
30. Landlubber
Dead:
29. Legato Endless, Talkie Toaster,
town, lynched D1.
Timer: [timer=9/2/2015 08:00 PM +10:00; Night Phase Over][/timer]
