The Holy Religion Of Chipism

Myth 2- I have discovered ancient ruins with inscriptions of ancient text stained with blood. After I managed to read the runes a giant man appeared in front of me equipped with a huge sword made of gold and a shield made of crystal, he wore full body metal armor with a necklace made of human bones around his neck. He spoke to me, "I am Harocht, Almighty God of Wars, Death and Illness! You have reached the spot where I slew the great army of demons sent forth by Tac-Nal, God of the Underworld and Spirits. When your people engage in battle they are to pray to me so I may gift them with victory!" He threw me a small sword and shield, the Shield engraved with the rituals we must perform for battle and the sword engraved with my name and the title, Head Disciple of Harocht and Great Warrior. He then dissapeared with a trail as wisp of black smoke followed. The shield also mentioned that the month of October know known as Chadoshmet (month of war), each day a small blood offering must be made to Harocht to ensure survival and freedom of illness.

Micalian has just told me that on the 4th friday of each month all people must drink and be festive. those who arnt will guarantee the loss of all beer and other alcohol. It is a True Story so don't question it or you will personally be struck down.

It is a well known truth that all gods of chipism breed via budding, and manifest an infinite number of themselves so that each creature earth may have their own personal set of the chipism gods. My Micalian has been budding like crazy lately and I would like to sell puppy Micalians to anyone who seeks multiple radness-makers

While we are an inclusivitic reliogn, it has resently come to my knowledge that the Ungogly offspring of the Omegacat and Tac-Nal, Robopig, has declared himself the one true god. This Blasfemy will not be tolerated, and Chip himself has given me the sign that we must declare a Chiphad!!!!! Down with Robopid-worship.

P.S. If maryred in the cause, you will receive stuff in Perosofo

P.P.S nWe accept Pastrism as a true relgion

P.P.P.S This is only roleplay, Robopig is a cool guy

P.P.P.P.S CHIPHAD!!!!

Micalian too has communicated with me. He wishes all to knwo that the RoboPigians will no longer recieve cool music or any tyoe of alcohol.

MICALIAN IS THE RADEST GOD!!!

New gods recently discovered by Arch-Friar Flotorius

I wanna join! I was told to by the great Shuzaxi, god of idiots, pigs, pie, and chaos.

Shuzaxi has declared a holiday that on the Midnight when Teghip ends, you are to bring your best pig and enjoy that one, the other pigs, and pie is to be enjoyed with friends and family. (all remaining food is sacrifieced to the gods.)

I am very curious about your religion, but I don't quite understand Chip. Could you please explain Chip to me, so that I might be enlightened?

GeorgeOP said:

I am very curious about your religion, but I don't quite understand Chip. Could you please explain Chip to me, so that I might be enlightened?

Click to expand...

Have you ever felt a precense, even when you are alone. Ever feel like there is somthing mightier than you, like you are a drawing on the small peice of a puzzle. Chip is the precense, that being. He is the Omnipotent One, the Creator. He was the first, and he shall be the last. Chip is to all Chip and yet a different Chip. He is It, and It is He. From him all was conceived. He is the higher governing power, yet it would be foolish to think he only focuses on our planet. He created all, and is all. He simply choose our planet as his residence for Enternity, and created us, the Humans, in his image. It is said that his all knowning head lies directly beneath our peninsula!

These are the mysteries of Chip. Much can be explained, and much can be learned, but more must be discovered on your journey!

I would like to become a learner and study Chip. I would like to contemplate all that is Chip. Basically, I would like to become a Chip Monk.

Chip Monk... Thats funny , get it, Chip Monk, Chipmunk. Anyway, monk away. And share with us your enlitentment!

Followers, We have been acknowledged! The heathen masses, drwn by the calling of the One, ahev named the western sea, The Sea of Chip. Now during times of prayer, we must kneel in the direction of the Sea of Chip!

I have just been enlightened by Kno goddess of thought books and all things boreing

Chip came to me in a waking dream last night. He brought with him a beautiful woman, whose face was so fair I could not look directly at it. Chip told me her name was Papirus, goddess of something he called "Pap - her"

I was shown visions I could not understand. Chip showed me tree barks and grasses mixed with water in a process to make this "Pap - her," and another method of crushing wild berries into liquid he referred to ask "enck."

When I asked Chip what I was to do with these visions, he replied "When the time comes, you will know. Untill then, tell others of these things and pursue the Path of Papirus"

I am now a Chip believer, and the Prophet of Papirus (skips a stone on the surface of the Sea of Chip"), and will devote my life thusly.

Welcome to the Brotherhood!

Myth of Papirus
(as told by the Prophet cIVpassIVe)

1:1 In the not so distant past, but longer ago than you would normally imagine, Chip created humanity. In his divine wisdom, he gave them the gift of communication. Through the transfer of thoughts and ideas, humans prospered through collective reasoning. Chip saw this and knew it was good, if not a little boring (all the incessant talking was giving Chip a headache).

1:2 Thusly, Chip brought unto them the god Micalian, god of the all things awesome and rad. Micalian taught humans, particularly one known as I am the Future, the art of distilling and of brewing. He also taught them the art of cultivating certain powerful herbs. While humanity was smitten with these new creations, there were consequences.

1:3 For the beer, herbs and other intoxicating creations were found to muddle communication. Speech became slurred or so full of “ums,” “dudes” and long pauses that humanity began to forget all it had previously mastered.

1:4 Humanity fragmented and spread to the far reaches of the planet, taking with them selective memories of what had previously been known by all: agriculture, the wheel, mysticism, mining, hunting and fishing.

1:5 This made Chip weep, and his tears quickly flooded a previously dry valley. Thus, a great Sea was made, salty from the water shed by Chip’s eyes.

1:6 However, Chip was not one to wallow, for he is an active and forthright god. He then created the goddess Papirus to bring permanent communication to humanity.

1:7 Chip made Papirus goddess of rite-ing, of let-hers, of pap-her, and of enck.

1:8 It is true humanity lacks a current understanding of the power of these things, and has no ability to yet utilize their strengths. Yet Chip, with his forethought, has brought us Papirus to show us these things, so that humans may make knowledge and thought permanent and easy to transfer to one another.

1:9 The gifts of Papirus will allow humanity, even in its Micalian-induced intoxicated fervor, to record forever that which is worth remembering.

1:10 Thusly, the month of September shall now be called Vulgotempo, for devotion to making of the ritten word.

Amazing cIVpassIVe, simply amazing!!1

I'm promoting you to head Preist of Boaring Wallow. You are still a prophet!! Whoop whoop

Thanks, I will do what I can to nurture and grow our Chipian flock within Boaring Wallow...I'll begin by passing the collection plate for a new temple.

The 1st Vision of Bengeance

1)In a manner most strange a sleeping vision visited me. It was more than a dream but less than reality. In this strange vision the future was laid out like the flowing of a river.

2)Upon a great plain I saw herds of large four legged beasts. These beasts moved as the wind; faster than even the swiftest man could run. Across the plain they roamed wild and free.

3)Then did the majesty of the Great Chip fill my vision and instead of wild beasts I did see the same animals being watched and protected by a distant figure. Swiftly then was I transported onto the plain and as I went I could see that the beasts had been tamed and answered to the call of the figure.

4)When finally I stopped I was face to face with the figure keeping watch over the animals. Then I heard a great voice speaking to me of things I did not know.

5)"This task have I set for you Bengeance. You must leave your home and all of your possesions. You must go unto this place and keep watch over my herd; for one day you and they will be needed. Tame these wild beasts and name them as it please you, but know that one day I will return to you and call upon your service."

6)Such was the power and might in this voice that I shook and was mute. Only then did I know that the figure I had seen was not a stranger but was me as I was to become.

7)I was startled out of my sleep with this image firmly placed in my mind and the instructions of the Chip written upon my heart.

8)So it was that I left my home in Boaring Wallow knowing only that I was drawn south. I did not know my destination but I knew that I was to spend many days on my journey.

9)I also knew what I was to call these beasts which were to be my charge. In the language of my ancestors it meant "running before the wind." These strange creatures would henceforth be known as Horse.