Myth of Papirus
(as told by the Prophet cIVpassIVe)
1:1 In the not so distant past, but longer ago than you would normally imagine, Chip created humanity. In his divine wisdom, he gave them the gift of communication. Through the transfer of thoughts and ideas, humans prospered through collective reasoning. Chip saw this and knew it was good, if not a little boring (all the incessant talking was giving Chip a headache).
1:2 Thusly, Chip brought unto them the god Micalian, god of the all things awesome and rad. Micalian taught humans, particularly one known as I am the Future, the art of distilling and of brewing. He also taught them the art of cultivating certain powerful herbs. While humanity was smitten with these new creations, there were consequences.
1:3 For the beer, herbs and other intoxicating creations were found to muddle communication. Speech became slurred or so full of “ums,” “dudes” and long pauses that humanity began to forget all it had previously mastered.
1:4 Humanity fragmented and spread to the far reaches of the planet, taking with them selective memories of what had previously been known by all: agriculture, the wheel, mysticism, mining, hunting and fishing.
1:5 This made Chip weep, and his tears quickly flooded a previously dry valley. Thus, a great Sea was made, salty from the water shed by Chip’s eyes.
1:6 However, Chip was not one to wallow, for he is an active and forthright god. He then created the goddess Papirus to bring permanent communication to humanity.
1:7 Chip made Papirus goddess of rite-ing, of let-hers, of pap-her, and of enck.
1:8 It is true humanity lacks a current understanding of the power of these things, and has no ability to yet utilize their strengths. Yet Chip, with his forethought, has brought us Papirus to show us these things, so that humans may make knowledge and thought permanent and easy to transfer to one another.
1:9 The gifts of Papirus will allow humanity, even in its Micalian-induced intoxicated fervor, to record forever that which is worth remembering.
1:10 Thusly, the month of September shall now be called Vulgotempo, for devotion to making of the ritten word.