Favorite Simpson Quotes.

List your favorite Simpsons quotes here:
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(Homer mailed a nasty letter to Mr. Burns and went to the post office to try and get it back.)
Homer: "Hello. My name is Mr. Burns, I believe you have a letter for me."
Post Office teller: "Ok Mr. Burns, what's your first name?"
Homer: "I don't know."
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(Homer gained 100 pounds so he could be declared obease and work from home.)
Homer: "I pity all those suckers driving to work......
GAS-BRAKE-HONK
GAS-BRAKE-HONK
HONK-HONK-PUNCH
GAS-GAS-GAS
Ahhhhh....."
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Homer: "Oh look at meeeee...I'm making people happy!!!
I'm the magical man, from Happyland.
In my gum drop house, on lollypop lane!!! "(Door Slams)
Homer: "By the way, I was being scarcastic."
Marge: "Well DUH!!!"
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(Bart was playing with a Troll Doll at Church. Note: Troll Doll has long, high, blue hair.)
Bart: "I'm a troll man, du du du du du du du du, I'm a troll man....."
(Marge Grabs Doll)
Marge: "Bart. I don't want you playing with something that has such bad hair. Such awful, awful hair."
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(Homer and Flanders are driving to the school in Flander's car. During a snow storm.)
Homer: "Flanders....you have cruise control!!!"
Homer: (Speaking to the radio) "School Please."
(Homer puts his feet up on the dashboard and his hands behind his head. Car starts swerving all over the road))
Flanders: "Homer!!!! That's not how it works!!!"
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(A snow storm traps all the kids in the school. They capture Skinner and tie him up in a dodge ball sack. He used a gopher to try and get help. Skinner crawls outside after the road is cleared. Sees gopher and says)
Skinner: "I'd knew you would save me gopher. Now come here and chew through my ball sack."
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Add Yours Below!!!

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CivFanatics Moderator and Tech Support
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[This message has been edited by CornMaster (edited July 11, 2001).]

Oh man....so many to choose from!

Homer Runs excitedly into Lisa's room as she writes a haughty letter to the editor regarding the riot at the pudding festival aka "How Low Can You Go".
"Lisa! I got third!"
"You won third place?"
"Nope. But I got it!" Slams door. Moments later, cracks it open. "Stealing is wrong." Leaves.

At Homers Big BBQ Bring Your own Beef. Barney walks in the door wheeling a giant keg.
Homer: "Barney! You brought a keg!"
Barney: "Yeah, where can I fill it up?"

Homer and Barney are flying in a helicopter. They land on bridge, causeing the Duff Mobile to slide, crash, and send a six pack bouncing into Barney's lap. (Barney is off Beer, and has to be sober to fly) Homer grabs the whole pack and drains them at the same time. "Not tonight, Barney, not when you've worked so hard (beer kicks in) ta be the greatest pal in the world...I love you...lets not loose touch after graduation..."
Barney:" You brave man. You took six silver bullets for me."
Homer:"Stay away from my wife!"

Okay, I'll go get my Official Episode Guide and get some better ones.

1. (Homer has a huge pile of sugar in his back yard that he took from an overturned truck. The sugar as attracted all the bees from the local apiary)
Bee guy: "Very clever of you Homer to have this pile of sugar to attract all of our bees so you can sell them back to us at some huge price"
Homer: (looks confused) "The bees are in the what now?"

2. Marge: "Homer, that was your boss on the phone. He said that if you don't come to work on Friday to not bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: "Woo Hoo! Four-day weekend!"

3. (Obese Homer got himself stuck at the nuclear plant and this prevented a radioactive leak)
Bart: "That's the first time dad's butt actually PREVENTED the escape of poisonous gas"

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Diplomacy - the art of
saying "Good Doggie"
until you can find a rock

(Homer is driving his car and singing his own parody of The Flinstones)

Homer: "Simpson Homer Simpson He's the greatest guy in history From the town of springfield he's about to hit a chestnut tree AHHHHHHHHH" (he then runs his car in to a chestnut tree)

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(this was a halloween special and marge is telling the story of when she was abducted by aleins)

Marge (narrating the story):and suddenly Without warning I was abducted
The Aliens:WARNING WARNING YOU ARE ABOUT TO BE ABDUCTED!

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(homer is consoling bart after krusty the clown's tragic death)
Homer:Bart people die all the time why you could wake up dead tommorow


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<IMG SRC="http://www.grworld.com/vanillacubesgames/files/kefka.gif" border=0>"Why Create things when you know they must be destroyed!"
"I will Create A monument to nothingness!"

But Kev, how did he get the sugar...

Homer and Bart were out driving when they passed the overturned sugar truck. The good white stuff had leaked out all over the road.

"Quick Bart! We've hit the jackpot!"
"But dad, isn't this stealing."
"Read your town charter boy-'If foodstuffs should touch the ground, they shall hereby be turned over to the village idiot'. Since I don't see him around, start shovelling!"

It's not exactly a quote:

The family are on a trip.

A quiet beeping noise begins to sound. Lisa observes where it's coming from and sees a small warning light on the dashboard of the car. She warns Homer about it, and his solution is to stick some duct tape on the light.

The solution doesn't work for long, and the car slows to a halt in front of the Springfield Retirement Castle. Abe is sitting in a chair with Jasper next to him.

"Aaaw, they remembered my birthday," he says.

He stands up happily and starts walking towards the car. Homer desperately tries to get it started, but no dice. Abe, walking along with his arms out in front of him like a zombie, sings, "Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me!"

In a zombie-movie style climax, Grampa slowly approaches the car and comes to the window. Meanwhile, on the other side of the car, Jasper goes to Lisa's window and shocks her.

"I am gay"...Homer's advice to Bart on how to let a woman down easy.

"You shot Zombie Flanders!" (Bart) "Flanders was a Zombie?" (Homer) from a holloween episode.

"Excellent"..Monty Burns, many times.

"Can't talk, eating"...Homer, many times.

"Dear Mr President, there are too many states today, please eliminate three. PS, I am not a crackpot"...Abe Simpson, in a letter to the president.

"He speaks German, he can't be evil"..juror at Sideshows Bob's parole hearing, in reguards to Bobs "Die Bart, Die" tattoo.

Could post a lot more of these.

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<FONT COLOR="blue">Tuatha De Denann Tribe</FONT c>

Uter, obese foreign exchange student...

"Agh! Do not chase me! I am full of chocolate!"

Homer walks up street. His exact body double is thrown out of Moes.

"Oh my god! My exact body double! Hehe. Hey! That dog has a puffy tail! Here puff puff puff! Hehehe! Puff!"

When Homer is looking up to the ceiling, talking to God and begging for help, and Marge walks by and says "That's not God, that's a pancake you threw up on the ceiling." So Homer gets a broom and knocks it down and says to the pancake. "Well, if you ARE God, I am not sure I should be eating you." and then after he takes a bite and chews it he says "mmmm, sacrelicious..."

'It tastes like burning'.
Ooh... this one is for SunTzu... 'Zeppelin rules!' Thank's Otto
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Silence Fills the Nothingness......NERRRR!

Even though stuff happens that we don't plan, be a man... use you hand.
<IMG SRC="http://forums.civfanatics.com/ubb/enforcer.gif" border=0>

[This message has been edited by Brad (edited July 12, 2001).]

I don't know if this is good or not but I can Remember EVERY one of those Quotes being said in the show and I bet that any funny quote you say from the show even with out the description of were and why it was said I could remember it.

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<IMG SRC="http://www.grworld.com/vanillacubesgames/files/kefka.gif" border=0>"Why Create things when you know they must be destroyed!"
"I will Create A monument to nothingness!"

Doh! - Homer Simpson

Why this quote? The existentialistic message in this quote reflects the mental world of Homer's inner thoughts and reduces it all to one simple word. Marvelous, isn't it?

D'oh!'s in the dictionary now:
<hr>
D'oh:
“Expressing frustration at the realization that things have turned out badly or not as planned, or that one has just said or done something foolish.”
<hr>

In addition to the standard Simpsons way of spelling the utterance, the dictionary includes a variant “doh.”

who knows what it means when you
Pull a homer.

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<IMG SRC="http://www.grworld.com/vanillacubesgames/files/kefka.gif" border=0>"Why Create things when you know they must be destroyed!"
"I will Create A monument to nothingness!"

1. Marge: (to Bill Clinton) That's some pretty lousy advice
Clinton: Well, I'm a pretty lousy President
2. Bart: I passed, I passed I got a D- I got a D- I passed I got a D- I... kissed that teacher <spits>
3. Homer: its just a little wet, it's still good it's still good, it's just a little airborne it's still good it's still good
Bart: Dad, it's gone

Originally posted by Kefka:
who knows what it means when you
Pull a homer.

Click to expand...

Well, its kinda like when you play eenie-meenie-minee-moe to avert a nuclear meltdown.

HOMER: Dear Lisa, May your new saxophone bring you years and years of D'OH!

HOMER: "In your face space coyote!!!"


Homer as Yogi the bear, Flanders as the Park Ranger: Flanders (PR) finds Homer (Yogi) eating a picnic basket and says "Hey Home-didly-idly". Homer then gnashes his teeth & bares his claws & proceeds to rip Flanders to shreds. Enter Bart as Boo-Boo: Bart says to Homer "What's up Homer"? Homer (holding up a bloody claw) looks at Bart and says "You want some too?"

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Listen, strange women lying around in ponds, distributing swords is no basis for a system government.

(Homer snoring at Grimey's funeral)
Homer: "Change the channel, Marge."

"Hey, don't worry, little dude. I got held back too, and look at me now: I drive the school bus!"