Babylonian Idol! [RFC-UHV-OMG?]

Better than disagreement on, say, whether Rome or Greece is better...

Act 9​

...
<Gods>
<Absu> Alright guys stop it now! The warriors are back to report to Hammurabi.

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Hammurabi was hanging out with his courtiers in the throne room when the first warriors of Babylon came back from their scouting round. They immediately addressed the sovereign to announce him of their newly met neighbors.

<Hammurabi> really ?
<Warriors> Yeah! They live in the desert at the south west and they call themselves Egyptians. They look like a nice enough bunch but...
<Hammurabi> But what ?
<Warriors> I don't know they have some weird customs...
<Hammurabi> Like what?
<Warriors> Idk... they have strange hats and their king wears makeup.
<Courtiers>
<Hammurabi> Stop it! They are our neighbors and our mission as Babylon is to make them in awe of us. It will not work if we start to make fun of em!

*Murmurs of agreement across the court*

<Hammurabi> This being said, you wont catch me using eyeliner!
<Courtiers>
<Hammurabi> Warriors, you have done your first mission, now I will ask you to stay here and protect the city. Many barbarians have been seen moving in the area.
<Warriors> Yes your highness!
<Hammurabi> Furthermore you will assist our newly trained workers in case they need protection while working the land. Workers!
<Workers> Yes your highness?
<Hammurabi> Go build cottages!


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*back in the pantheon*

<Horus> I find this Hammurabi to be presumptuous!
<Jupiter> But isn't it a characteristic of all sovereigns?
<Absu> Yes, and it is also a characteristic of all Jupiters.
<Other gods>
<Zeus> But he is still acting with wisdom nonetheless.
<Hunab Ku> Are you talking about Hammurabi or Jupiter.
<Zeus> Hammurabi obviously.
<Jupiter> How dare you compare me with a mortal!!
<Gods>
<Jupiter> You Just wait... You guys will take all of this back when the Numberless Legions&#8482; are unleashed...
<Enlil> Hey look at this! They finally managed to learn how to make baked earth things!


<Hera> Nice! Now they need to learn how to scribble things unto them.
<Absu> Yup!
<Shiva> I can't help but to think this is a bit weird, you'd expect them to learn some more basic stuff first.
<Hera> Certainly not as weird as your "We'll invent all the friggin religions of the world" scheme Shiva.
<Odin> However he is right, they should go for more important stuff first, like bronze working to get axes or something.
<Horus> What seems important for you does not apply to everyone Odin...
<Odin> Go explain this to all those defenseless literates once they get slaughtered and their children are locked down in the library right before it gets torched to the ground. Just tell them how wise it was to research writing before archery...
<Enlil> This wont happen to the Babylonians! They are too awesome.
<Absu> Anyway this is all Yu Huang's fault! If his damned Chinese were not beelining mathematics like the bunch of crazies that they are, we could have a more logical research tree.
<Odin> Ohhh.. how all our woes are always someone else's fault.
<Jupiter> You cannot deny the truth! So far Hu Yuang is nothing but a pain.
<Shiva> I still say we should use explosive diarrhea on his palace!
<Odin> Yeah, then teleport a bunch of little angels in Beijing to terrorize the city!
<Gods>
<Zeus> This Damned Jade emperor, breaking into our Parthenon unannounced then starting to scream at us like...

*BOOOM!*

Suddenly, an explosion punches a big hole through the roof of the Pantheon. Hunab ku dodges for his life and throws himself on the ground in catastrophe to avoid being crushed by a falling stone.

*The head of Yu Huang, wearing an evil grin, appears through the hole in the ceiling.*
<Yu Huang> I CAN HEAR YOU!

<Shiva> Look!! It's Mr.Yuang!!

<Yu Huang> AAAAAaaaAAARRGGHH!!!

...to be continued...

End of Act 9​

HOORAY! Yu Huang is back Great update

Lol, btw, remind me, are you playing regular RFC, or DoC? Cause Rome is a lot less dumb in DoC...

Regular RFC, latest version

Oh, good, then at least Rome isn't SUPER dumb like in the vanilla version...

Act 10​

...
<Shiva> Look!! It's Mr.Yuang!!

<Yu Huang> IT'S HUANG!!! AAAAAaaaAAARRGGHH!!!
<Zeus> Im sorry Mr.Huang but...
<Yu Huang> TALKING BEHIND MY BACK AGAIN ARE YOU?! PLOTTING TO DEFILE MY PALACE AND TORMENT MY HARD WORKING CHINESE PEOPLE?!
<Hera> But...
<Yu Huang> I WILL NOT HAVE ANY OF THIS!! I CANNOT BELIEVE HALF OF THE WORLD IS BEING CONTROLLED BY A PATHETIC BUNCH OF PRATTLING INSECTS LIKE YOU!!! NOW REMEMBER... YU HUANG IS ALWAYS WATCHING!! AAAaaaAAARGH!!!!
<Gods> !!!
<Yu Huang> IM OUT!!

With that, the Jade emperor disappears and with a loud suction noise, the stones and debris from the explosion are sucked back into place and the roof is fixed with no apparent damage.

<Horus> Woah!! This guys is really mad! He destroys half of the roof and just yells like crazy for 30 seconds before disappearing and...

*BOOOM!*

Once again the roof explodes, the gods cower amidst a cloud of raining debris. Yu Huang's head pops out of the hole.

<Yu Huang> HEY SORRY GUYS, I FORGOT TO TELL YOU, THERE'S SOME DRUNKARD WANDERING OUTSIDE YOUR PANTHEON TRYING TO FIND A WAY IN. LOOKS LIKE HE GOT LOST AFTER PARTYING TOO HARD. YOU MAY WANT TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT, CYA!!!

Then for the second time the ceiling implodes back into itself
*sssSSSSSHHHHHHHHH POP!*
...
<Gods>
<Hera> That's it... now I am traumatized... I'll forever live in fear of oh... Yu Huang spying on me and appearing out of nowhere while blowing up stuffs.
<Shiva> I tell you! Its all staged. He's just a no-life who likes to listen at our door because he's got nothing better to do. Then he plays around with bombs trying to impress us.
<Hunab ku> You're obviously not the one who nearly got crushed by a stone!
<Jupiter> But this is unacceptable! We cannot let him push us around like that! *smacks fist into palm*
<Zeus> Yes, and if he keeps blowing up walls and stuff he might end up doing significant structural damage to the Pantheon!
<Enlil> A good thing we got rid of the little angels! They would have been scared senseless!

*knock!*

<Horus> What was that noise?
<Odin> I don't know, I think it came from the door.
<Hera> Are you sure?
<Zeus> I think it did come from the door... *Zeus snaps his fingers and the door of the pantheon opens.*

*As soon as the door opens, some completely drunk dude falls face first inside the Pantheon*

<Hunab ku> Hey look! It's Bacchus!!!
<Enlil> Hahaha, lol, Bacchus!
<Odin>
<Absu> :facepalm:
<Jupiter>*face becoming red* Dear gods... why...
<Shiva> Because all he does is drink like a fish, as usual!

*Jupiter walks toward Bacchus*

<Jupiter> Look at you my son! What have you done!?!

*Bacchus slowly lifts his head to look at Jupiter*

<Bacchus> urrghh... Haffy noo year daad...! *hic*
<Jupiter> My son! Why do you do this! Why do you have to put such shame on your family!?
<Bacchus>
<Jupiter> Heavens... Please explain me what I have done wrong with him!!
<Bacchus> Hab.. err... vewy nice even..ing.. Hows... howsit eve... evewyone?! *hic* A dwink... gimme another dwink!
<Jupiter> Get a hold on yourself Bachhus!!
<Bacchus>
<Other gods> Ahhh! Gross!!
<Jupiter> Allright son... We'll just find you a place to rest now...

Jupiter grabs his son and takes him to a remote corner of the Pantheon where he lays him down and covers him with a blanket. Within seconds Bacchus is snoring in deep sleep. With a gloomy face Jupiter returned to sit with the other gods.

*Odin and Hunab Ku are privately exchanging jokes and anecdotes about Bacchus*

<Horus> Can you stop joking around guys? It's not really funny.
<Odin> What do you mean it's not funny? What do you want to do with Bacchus beside having a good time laughing?
<Hera> It's more like pathetic if you ask me. The poor boy was in such a wretched state...
<Hunab Ku> Bah! He'll get better in no time...

*Bumb...bump, bump*

<Absu> What was that noise?
<Enlil> *Shrugs*
<Jupiter> I don't understand... why did it go so wrong with Bacchus?
<Shiva> I don't think its your fault really. He's the god of drunkenness, probably was his destiny to be like that.
<Jupiter> ...

*Bump, bump,.*

<Absu> Did you hear it again? Is Bacchus awake already?
<Zeus> I don't think its coming from where Bacchus is sleeping.
<Odin> Bacchus will probably be up before we know it but considering the state he was in two minutes ago, he'll probably be offline for a little while longer.
<Hera> Anyway... Where were we at before all of this happened?
<Absu> Let's See... Whoa! Time really flew by, they just finally managed to discover writing!


<Horus> Wow! Already?
<Absu> This means one thing, Enlil, you need to prepare to go talk to Hammurabi again!
<Enlil> Im on it!

*Enlil leaves the Pantheon*

<Jupiter> really efficient this enlil...
<Shiva> And in the meantime the Indians managed to found Hinduism AND Buddhism!

<Hera> You and your crazy Indians!
<Jupiter> great...
<Shiva> Aww cmon Jupiter. Don't be so gloomy. Your son will be back on his feet in no time!
<Odin> Yup, then he will say Screw you guys! and go back partying! It is the way of things! It cannot be helped!

*Bump... bump*

<Hunab ku> Hey is it the strange noise again?
<Absu> Yeah, its getting annoying...
<Zeus> It's definitely not Bacchus, it seems to be coming from outside the Pantheon.
<Odin> Talking of Bacchus, how much do you wanna bet he's more or less about to...

*CRASH*

*As if on cue, Bacchus suddenly storms out of his room wearing his underwear on top of his toga, face transfixed in a wide grin.*

<Bacchus> HELL YEAH!!!
<Bacchus> I FEEL TOP-SHAPE THIS MORNING!!!
*Bacchus does a couple pelvic thrusts*
<Bacchus> HEY GUYS!! Long TimE NO See!!
<Jupiter> Please son!! Don't act this way in the Pantheon!!
<Bacchus> Ahhh!! Boring as f**k I can see!! ...As ever.
<Bacchus> Well then , screw you guys, Im outta here!!

*Bacchus darts into a dead-run and plunges through the nearest window and disappears out down the eternal blue sky..*
"YAHOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooo........"

<Odin and Hunab ku>
<Jupiter> :facepalm: Why... tell me why someone!!!
<Odin> Awww!! Cmon Jupiter! Bacchus is totally Badass!! Sometimes I wish I was not a major god with important responsibilities, just so I could spend my time screwing around with mortals not giving a horse dump about anything, drinking myself to near oblivion, then starting over the next day!
<Jupiter> Somehow this really comforts me...
<Horus> You, Odin, A major god with important responsibilities?!?! For all you are doing here, you may go join Bacchus right now!
<Odin> You may not want to admit it right now! But im having a tremendous influence on this Pantheon!

*Bump... Bump, Bump*

<Hunab ku> Hey its the strange noise again!
<Hera> I really think its coming from the outside..
<Shiva> HEY!! Look there through that window!
<Zeus> Which one?
*Shiva points*
<Horus> OH!! Its a little angel!! Its trying to get inside the Pantheon!
<Odin> Hahaha! And the dumb thing is bumping into the window like a bloody fly!
*bump... bump.....................bump...*
<Jupiter> Oh great... they're back...
...

End of Act 10​

They're back!!

10 little angels all dressed in white
tried to get to heaven on the end of a kite

anyway, I counted 2 grammar errors, both subject-verb agreement issues

I counted one "hubab ku". Who is this mysterious new charachter who laughs at Bacchus flying out a window?

Don't be too hard on me guys English in not my native language.

Well I reread and corrected 2 grammar mistakes and one orthographic (Not counting the typo illustrated by thecaesar)

So Jwitti, did I get the two you found?

I think so.

Well, thanks for pointing out

So Hunab Ku has no mysterious twin brother who is shrouded in mysterious mystery?

I saw a Zeuz. Soundz pretty leetz to me, that namez
It doesn't make the story less perfect, though.

Ok now that all those petty typos are fixed, I think i can start working on the next act!
Let's see...

*go get a glass of water*

Update!

Fun catchup reading is fun.

Hey there Olaf!! Happy you are back!
Had fun on you camping trip?

Thanks Yeah, it was good, got a bit of rain though. Happy to be back under a roof reading CFC