Not-So-Useful units, buildings, GPs and wonders

Öjevind Lång · Aug 9, 2009

This is my favourite (among many contenders):

Kark said:
Tower of Babel (Not-So-Useful Wonder)
Requires: Masonry & Polytheism.
Cost: 700.
Gives owner knowledge of every tech discovered by any civ. Every square of the World immediately turns into ocean. All civs are destroyed.

Let me see if I can contribute something. Hmm...

Civ leader: Adolf Hitler
Traits: none.
Other characteristics: none. That's because he is dead. This is announced at the start of the game, and all other civs get one happiness point for ten turns.

Civilization: Monaco
Unique Building: casino
Unique Unit: croupier. If meeing a competitor's unit, this unit forces the competitor to hand over all his money. The croupier has :strength:

200 but can only launch fiscal attacks, and :move:

1,000.
Gains a minimum of 1,000 gold each turn.
Can only found one city.

(Hey, come to think of it, might be cool to play.)

Random event: A political nut holds you at gunpoint and forces you to watch Ann Coulter being interviewed for 48 straight hours. Finally, you grab the gun and shoot yourself. Game over.

UU: Jewish Defence League. Cost: 1,000 :hammers:

Can only be built in city where Judaism is present. Strength: 1. Defence: 0. Blindly attacks all other Jews and spreads anti-Jewish feelings and general unhappiness in every city where it is stationed.

UB: sauna club. Gives +1

for ten turns and then 5 :yuck:

for 100 turns. If you run Theocracy, it gives you + 10 :mad:

forever.

thekaje · Aug 9, 2009

Not-So-Useful Unit:

Unionized Worker
Requires Assembly Line
All Workers automatically upgraded
Obsoletes Worker
* "Build Road" replaced by "Negotiate Highway Construction Agreement"
* "Build Farm" replaced by "Contact Dairy Farmers of [Civ], Wheat Growers of [Civ], National Association of [Civ]ian Flour and Bread Producers, Bread-Slicers' Union, etc., to Discuss Possibility of Building Farm"
* "Build Mine" replaced by "Contact International Hammer-Handle Sandpaper-ers Association, et al., and Check With Local Branch of Sierra Club"
* "Build Cottage" no longer possible because it would steal jobs.
* Before new resource can be worked, Unionized Worker must "Found Union" for that resource. This destroys the unit.
et cetera

30% chance per turn of not doing anything or doing something completely different.

Joecoolyo · Aug 9, 2009

thekaje said:
Not-So-Useful Unit:

Unionized Worker
Requires Assembly Line
All Workers automatically upgraded
Obsoletes Worker
* "Build Road" replaced by "Negotiate Highway Construction Agreement"
* "Build Farm" replaced by "Contact Dairy Farmers of [Civ], Wheat Growers of [Civ], National Association of [Civ]ian Flour and Bread Producers, Bread-Slicers' Union, etc., to Discuss Possibility of Building Farm"
* "Build Mine" replaced by "Contact International Hammer-Handle Sandpaper-ers Association, et al., and Check With Local Branch of Sierra Club"
* "Build Cottage" no longer possible because it would steal jobs.
* Before new resource can be worked, Unionized Worker must "Found Union" for that resource. This destroys the unit.
et cetera

30% chance per turn of not doing anything or doing something completely different.

Best one yet

sydhe · Aug 9, 2009

The Not-So-Great-Spy

Detectable by enemy, transmits to you whatever information the enemy wishes you to know, whether it's true or not.

sydhe · Aug 9, 2009

The Mousoleum: Unique building dedicated to sacred rodents. Produces one happiness at the cost of two health.

Dragonxander PR · Aug 9, 2009

How about this one?:

The Mexico-USA border wall:

- Costs 2500 :hammers:

- Its description says it eliminates cultural influence from the most influential border civ, but it doesn't
- Requires Industrialism OR Steel
- 10% :hammers:

with iron, 10% :hammers:

with aluminum, 30% :hammers:

in city with foreign culture
- -2 diplo with the civ from which you want to block cultural influence
- + 2 :mad:

in all cities

Kark · Aug 10, 2009

sydhe said:
The Mousoleum: Unique building dedicated to sacred rodents. Produces one happiness at the cost of two health.

May be Karni Matra (Not-So-Useful Wonder)
Wikipedia

Kark · Aug 10, 2009

Pandemic (Not-So-Useful Random Event)
All cities in every civ: -10 :yuck:

for 10 turns.

Factory Farm (Not-So-Useful Building)
Requires: Assembly Line & pig or chicken (new resource).
+1 :gold:

, +1

, -2

.
Every turn: 1% chance per Factory Farm of Pandemic due to Swine flu or Bird flu.

Smithfield Foods Inc. (Not-So-Useful Corporation)
Can only be built by Great Merchant.
Requires: Corporation, Refrigeration.
Consumes: Pigs.
Every turn: 50% chance of Pandemic due to Swine flu.
Wikipedia

Öjevind Lång · Aug 10, 2009

Heres another one:

Unit: Lion tamer. :strength:

1

1. Available from Animal Husbandry. Has a chance to capture lions; if it fails, the lions kill it. Each turn on its way to the nearest city, there is still a chance that the captured lions will kill it. In the city, the lions will be trained to perform, and the performing lions give you an added

. However, each turn there is a 50% chance that they will eat the lion tamer and then go on a rampage, savagely reducing the population of your city.

Willem · Aug 11, 2009

The Avro Arrow, a Canadian UU. As soon as it gets built it has to be dismantled again.

Kark · Aug 11, 2009

Greenpeace (Not-So-Useful Random Event)
Randomly destroys Whaling Boats.
+1

in America. +1 :mad:

in Japanese & Viking Empire.

Asprilla · Aug 11, 2009

Kark said:
Greenpeace (Not-So-Useful Random Event)
Randomly destroys Whaling Boats.
+1 in America. +1 in Japanese & Viking Empire.

Not

in all Viking citites, only in the Norwegian ones.

Joseph Goebbels · Aug 11, 2009

Kark said:
Balsa Raft (Not-So-Useful Unit)
Requires: Fishing & Jungle.
Naval Unit, strength 0, movement 1/2, cost 30, cargo space 1 (carries scouts, explorers, missionaries, spies, great people).
When placed in a costal square, it starts moving automatically away from the shore. If the raft lands on an island: -1 in all cities until Genetics proves that the inhabitants of the island in fact came from the other side of the ocean. (Wikipedia)
(Could also be Kon-Tiki, Not-So-Useful Unique Unit for the Vikings.)

Kudos to you! :goodjob:

AlphaShard · Aug 11, 2009

Kark said:
Greenpeace (Not-So-Useful Random Event)
Randomly destroys Whaling Boats.
+1 in America. +1 in Japanese & Viking Empire.

Are you under the impression that America doesn't have a whaling industry?

mechaerik · Aug 11, 2009

Junuxx said:
World of Warcraft, Not so useful wonder
600
Available after the Internet has been completed
+100% against animals for all units
a random less advanced civ gets a free Gold resource
Obsoletes Universities
-50% Food

You forget that last part. Not many kids being made when you build this.

Kark · Aug 11, 2009

AlphaShard said:
Are you under the impression that America doesn't have a whaling industry?

Alaska Natives landed 41 Bowhead whales in the 2006/2007 season (and lost 22).

Kark · Aug 11, 2009

Asprilla said:
Not in all Viking citites, only in the Norwegian ones.

King Carl XVI Gustaf of Sweden (Not-So-Useful Great Person)
Requires: Monarchy & Hunting.
:gp:

birth rate: Eh, maybe ...

And just for the sake of balance:

Princess Märtha Louise of Norway (Not-So-Useful Great Person)
Requires: Monarchy & Mysticism.
:gp:

birth rate: Eh, maybe ...
+1 :lol:

in every city. (No, it's not +1

!)
Link to her firm: Astarte Education.

sydhe · Aug 11, 2009

Kark said:
May be Karni Matra (Not-So-Useful Wonder)
Wikipedia

That's where I got the idea.

JujuLautre · Aug 12, 2009

Shogunate (not so useful civic)
- available with feudalism and civil service
- all units gain +1 XP
- every unit loses its withdrawal chances
- all diplomatic exchanges, pacts and agreements are cancelled, and no new one can be concluded while the CIV is in Shogunate
- no civic change is possible until a frigate enters your cultural borders
(favourite civic of Ieyasu Tokugawa)

RaidforBBQ · Aug 12, 2009

Fifth gen Jet Fighter: (not so useful unit)
Requires advanced flight, level 5 air unit

- 200 :hammers:

- small chance of increase in :hammers:

cost per unit built
- +50% vs Melee Units
- +100% vs Horse Units

Not-So-Useful units, buildings, GPs and wonders

Deity

Godless killing machine

99% Lightspeed

King of Kongs

King of Kongs

Emperor of the Drakons

Mad berserker

Mad berserker

Deity

Deity

Mad berserker

Chieftain

Chieftain

Emperor

Tuturuu!

Mad berserker

Mad berserker

King of Kongs

Deity

Chieftain

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