Meet the Modders

Oh, no, I meant imbecilic teenaged posters in forums. Who still don't know the names' meanings or how to spell them in the original language, but that's what video games do to idiots.

Hey guys? How's it going? I realize that I've been away for a good while, and haven't released the more or less final version of the Final Fantasy mod like I promised (I need to find a good site to host the files on for one thing).

Part of the reason why is due to my being obsessed with Final Fantasy XIV: A Real Reborn for the past almost year now. The other is that the journey of self-discovery that began about this time last year has taken me places I didn't quite expect, so this leads to my second coming out post:

When I posted back in March of last year about being gender-nonconforming, I had just started seriously examining my gender identity for the first time ever, and I was still fairly ignorant about many things. Like, for instance, my assertion that I didn't really experience gender dysphoria (i.e. being trapped in the wrong body), but I realize now that I DO experience dysphoria from time to time, and have since I was little, now that I know what some of the symptoms are. For example, most of the times I've been temp-banned or received warnings here on these forums was when I was experiencing anxiety as a direct result of this gender dysphoria & tended to get highly irrational as a result. I'm not trying to dodge blame for my actions, but this realization HAS led me to better avoid things that might set me off when I am experiencing dysphoria & avoid stirring up trouble in the first place.

....Which leads me to this point: I now know what and who I am, now. I am most definitely bigender, which means my gender identity switches back and forth between male and female on a semi-regular basis, which is complicated by the fact that my personality has always been somewhere in the middle, but leaning towards the feminine. This realization has led me to fully accept that I am female about half the time, and to take some steps that I'd only been toying with in the past, namely I am looking into either laser or electrolysis to remove all my facial hair, since I am generally androgynous enough in my appearance that, aside from the permanent 5-o'clock shadow I have, even when I shave, I could easily pass for either sex, and I have also finally got enough courage to take my measurments for sizing women's clothes, and such like that.

Therefore, while I generally am not to fussy about which pronouns people use, I do prefer to be addressed as whichever gender I am presenting as. This being quite difficult online, I'd say that the singular (or as I like to call it the ROYAL) "they" will do, if it's not too much trouble.

Thankfully most of my family & friends and even my wife have been fairly supportive of this, with my wife even getting me the Frozen blanket (featuring Elsa & Anna) and a Disney Store Mulan doll for Christmas last year.

Anyways, glad to see all of you doing well, and I hope this wasn't too heavy of a topic to return here with.

Not at all, M(r)(s). Hikaro. That was certainly… interesting reading. Try not to go crazy from it. Wearing pink isn't bad. Watching MLP, having an Apolyton account or preferring Civ IV to Civ III, not necessarily in that order, are.

A piece of advice: most people on the Internet, or, rather, this particular kind of Internet place, tend to refer to others based on their username's gender or usually as a he (because of the myth that all gamers are male, obviously). Don't take it too hard if people who aren't following this particular thread refer to you only ever as a he.

WB

Good to see you, Hikaro, and I'm glad you've made this progress! My only advice is to be sure to see a good therapist or counsellor about this issue, because even though this is a positive step forward, you're dealing with big changes that will need professional (and specialist) help to navigate successfully. I'm sure you know that already, though. (n.b. your wife sounds great, but she may need to see someone about it too - but I'm sure you know that as well.)

I think you can now enter your own text in the "Gender" box for this forum, so you could always specify there what pronoun you prefer.

Not at present, the options are still Do Not Display - Female - Male - Unspecified.

Plot: I have already started making moves in that direction. As a matter of fact, I've been in contact with a licensed psychiatric counselor who specializes in gender identity issues via Facebook, and her FB page, Conversations with a Gender Therapist & her Youtube videos have been a big help, thus far.

Nice to see your screen name pop up again after a long while. And sounds like you had quite a journey over the past few months.

I actually sort of like this photo from yesterday's philosophy presentation of mine in the library, so i can post it...

(taken out now cause the following post is better ).

6 days ago, in the philo seminar/program in a library...:



As you see my words command attention, and my mission is to increase the people's spending of time on matters of philosophy- presented my myself

A Germanwings plane crashed today in the French Alps.

http://edition.cnn.com/2015/03/24/europe/france-plane-crash/index.html

Among the deceased are 16 schoolkids and 2 teachers from my town. Their parents were already waiting for them at the airport. Our whole city is in shock. We're currently preparing tomorrow's edition (I'm a newspaper journalist), which is not an easy task at this point. It's a sad day.

I was raised a few kilometer south of that area of the French Alps, and I've been to Germany 3 times during my sholarship, so I've been following things closely and I'm with my German friends with all my heart. My condolences to the families.

It's a very remote area, no road connection, difficult to reach by foot. The can go there only by helicopter, and they can't land : this is not a flat area, and the ground is made of small rocks/pebles, so it is not stable, they have to use wenches to ge the guys down and up.
Research team will have a hard job to find bodies / clues to explain what happeneed.

A situation where it's hard to know what to say - definitely hope the community is getting through the emotional upheaval alright.

My thoughts are with your townsfolk, Ares. Now that I have some little ones of my own, hearing the loss of others hits me real hard. Last I heard they were blaming it on a suicidal copilot?

Gojira54 said:

My thoughts are with your townsfolk, Ares. Now that I have some little ones of my own, hearing the loss of others hits me real hard. Last I heard they were blaming it on a suicidal copilot?

Click to expand...

Yes, that's what they say and such a information has devastating effect on my mind. What is very sad in this story that we are all as a society on show to this kind of people, lone wolfs who thinks they can react like a spoiled children destroying everything around when favorite toys are taken from them. Like this guy.. he kill himself because he had health condition which probably would destroy his career as a pilot of Lufthansa. Fcuk!
I realized that these days you don't need to have a gun or explosive materials to be a killer... to be a mass murderer. You can be a pilot and crash a plane, or you can be a lorry/bus driver and drive through busy market place or street parade or be a crane operator and drop piece of concrete wall or steel onto walking people.
I do expect that similar accidents will happen more often because some of the crazy people out there just realized how easily they can express own frustration and have attention of global community.

Apparently Lufthansa had been informed of his psychiatric condition once but they'd disregarded, or so the news say…

Here's today's edition ("We remember").

i'm so sorry, Ares. such a tragedy

I have been logging onto this forum directl through the subscriptions page in order to avoid the general dementedness shown across OT, World History, Site Feedback, and so forth. I am a month late for the announcements thing which I said I would do!

Please accept my apologies, C3-C&C.