If you refuse to change ideology, and you haven't invested enough into culture or tourism, what do you expect to happen?
Changing ideologies really isn't that painful, at least not as much as -40 happiness.
Remember, you could have done the same thing to thing to the AI.
If you have indeed built everything you can, does that mean all three guilds are staffed, and your museums and hermitage are filled with the proper bonuses, plus as many great works of writing/music as you've acquired? If you've done all that and are still getting crushed, well....