Culture: The Might Of The World

Binder: theres another one

Quin Shi Huang: Greetings honourable ghandi im Quin Shi Huang Of China I Hope we hve forever peace for it is all that stands between you and immedeate annhialtion

Binder Whispers into ghandis ear

Ghandi: peace by threat i take caution peeace for now though
 
Ghandi: I Have Appointed a new scince advisor to make things easier let me introduce Bea Kir

Bea: we have researched Animal Husbandry Lets Do Agriculture Next

Ghandi: That is your area of expertise GO FOR IT MAN!
 
Bea: ghandi we have masonry
Ghandi: atleast we can protect a little less violently
Bea: Your intentions are cultural so we will do preastood next
 
Binder: Some Man Named Pliny Called You Puny! in wealth
Ghandi: I Don't care much about wealth as long as my people are healthy and happy scold him
Binder: ok
Amir: Can i give him a whipping
Ghandi: if you absouloutly MUST but only one lash though
 
Amir: Our Scout Was attacked by panthers and very badly wounded i suggest we retract it back into our territory to heal so we can keep the settler it defends
Ghandi: OK
 
Amir We Trained aa warrior
Ghandi: Carry on
Bea: we dicrovered preisthood
Ghandi: Tell me what to reaserch next
Bea Pottery To Get Wealthy
Ghandi Happy Healthy And Welthy Go For It Bea
 
It's not good. I don't find it funny, it's short, boring, and you posted 28 times in a row. It's inconsistent and half of the things are really unremarkable. It's not written all that well either.

However, I do like that you edited one of your posts for a spelling error.
 
Quotey said:
It's not good. I don't find it funny, it's short, boring, and you posted 28 times in a row. It's inconsistent and half of the things are really unremarkable. It's not written all that well either.

However, I do like that you edited one of your posts for a spelling error.
Click to expand...

in that case i will stop.
 
A few suggestions

- Present and spell your posts in a decent way eg. next time you post, don't play as ghandi, play as Gandhi.

- Try and make the story interesting to the reader. If you've read stories before on this site that have been successful, try and analyse why people would read it. So far, all you have described about the game is your tech path and meeting other leaders. Not exactly original stuff.

- Develop the characters a little more. I like the names, but that's about it.

I think you should start another story (playing as Gandhi, remember?) and try to take these factors into account.
 
-You definitely have been reading too much Story of 18 Civs. It's a great story, but doesn't work well when being ripped off. Be original!

- Grammar and spelling are your friend. Put as much effort in it as you would an essay for school.

-Characters are bland and uninteresting. Give them individual personalities, make them actual people (See Sisutil's story for more info). Or better yet, Don't use the conversation between the leader and posse format!!!

- Dialog sucks. Basically, it's an advisor saying something (Usually something bland and unintresting) then Gandhi (Gandhi! NOT ghandi!) saying OK. Everything said should be important, not stupid. Or better yet, Don't use the conversation between the leader and posse format!!!

-Don't use the conversation between the leader and posse format!!!
 
Pacifist46 said:
A few suggestions

- Present and spell your posts in a decent way eg. next time you post, don't play as ghandi, play as Gandhi.

- Try and make the story interesting to the reader. If you've read stories before on this site that have been successful, try and analyse why people would read it. So far, all you have described about the game is your tech path and meeting other leaders. Not exactly original stuff.

- Develop the characters a little more. I like the names, but that's about it.

I think you should start another story (playing as Gandhi, remember?) and try to take these factors into account.
Click to expand...

sorry about ripping off your stories they are great tho!! Monty is funny I think you should try a differnt victory next maybe space race?
 
MotezumaMan said:
sorry about ripping off your stories they are great tho!! Monty is funny I think you should try a differnt victory next maybe space race?
Click to expand...

Hmm. It's possible, but I was leaning more towards bashing people around in the late game, maybe settling for a Time if I can't manage Domination. Space is my most common victory though.
 
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