Trouble Family problems

itsmelisa · Mar 19, 2007

Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation.

One of them kept complaining of family problems.

Finally, the other man said:
"You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation."

"A few years ago, I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter.
We got married and got myself a stepdaughter.
Later, my father married my stepdaughter.
That made my stepdaughter, my step-mother.
And my father became my stepson.
Also, my wife became mother-in-law of her father-in-law".

"Much later the daughter of my wife, my stepmother, had a son.
This boy was my half-brother because he was my father's son.
But he was also the son of my wife's daughter which made him my wife's grand-son.
That made me the grand-father of my half-brother."

"This was nothing until my wife and I had a Baby. Now the half-sister of my son, my stepmother, is also the Grandmother.
This makes my father, the brother-in-law of my child, whose stepsister is my father's wife, I am my stepmother's brother-in-law, my wife is her own child's aunt, my son is my father's nephew and I am my OWN GRANDFATHER!"

"And you think you have FAMILY PROBLEMS!!!"

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- Lisa

Catharsis · Mar 19, 2007

Yeah, we get that a lot in rural Bedfordshire.

puglover · Mar 19, 2007

Just imagine:

"As your father I order you to clean your room!"
"As your stepmother I order you to let me leave it dirty!"

Paradigne · Mar 21, 2007

Happy Birthday Uncle Dad

Lord_Iggy · Mar 21, 2007

I'll just have to read that one through a few more times before I get it sorted out in my mind.

Synobun · Mar 21, 2007

I didn't understand it at first, and when I did, I noticed it had 500% inbred in it.

puglover · Mar 22, 2007

d.highland said:
I didn't understand it at first, and when I did, I noticed it had 500% inbred in it.

Well, technically very little of it was actually inbreeding by blood.

Catharsis · Mar 22, 2007

puglover said:
Well, technically very little of it was actually inbreeding by blood.

I hear that a lot in rural Bedfordshire as well.

Jawz II · Mar 22, 2007

Catharsis said:
I hear that a lot in rural Bedfordshire as well.

I dunno where that is, but get out pronto.

I knew a kid in school, who went in the same school as his uncle, who was a few years younger than him.

puglover · Mar 22, 2007

I have a friend who is my age, and is already an aunt. Pretty funny.

EDIT: 8 times an aunt! At 15!

Lord_Iggy · Mar 23, 2007

My grandfather was an uncle with two nephews when he was born.

Swedishguy · Mar 25, 2007

http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=213508

http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=212568

http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=213086

http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=212715

I see a pattern.

Catharsis · Mar 25, 2007

Swedishguy: don't mock La Jokebot. La Jokebot > you. :scan:

StarWorms · Mar 25, 2007

Although that would make him his own step grandfather not his own grandfather...

itsmelisa · Apr 1, 2007

An autopsy professor was giving an introductory lecture to a class of students. Standing over a corpse, he addressed the class. There are two things you need to make a career in medical forensics. First, you must have no fear. Having said that, he shoved his finger up the corpses anus and licked it. Now you must do the same, he told the class.

After a couple of minutes of uneasy silence, the class did as instructed.

Second, the professor continued, you must have an acute sense of observation. For instance, how many of you noticed that I put my middle finger up this mans anus, but licked my index finger!

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- Lisa

Catharsis · Apr 1, 2007

Hooray, La Jokebot's back!

Mise · Apr 1, 2007

itsmelisa said:
An autopsy professor was giving an introductory lecture to a class of students. Standing over a corpse, he addressed the class. There are two things you need to make a career in medical forensics. First, you must have no fear. Having said that, he shoved his finger up the corpses anus and licked it. Now you must do the same, he told the class.

After a couple of minutes of uneasy silence, the class did as instructed.

Second, the professor continued, you must have an acute sense of observation. For instance, how many of you noticed that I put my middle finger up this mans anus, but licked my index finger!

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- Lisa

Wanna make out?

Elrohir · Apr 2, 2007

Mise said:
Wanna make out?

I thought you were Eran and I was like "Woah man, what happened to Mormon principles?!" :lol:

Lord_Iggy · Apr 3, 2007

Same here.

If the jokebot's funny, I'm fine with it.

itsmelisa · Apr 4, 2007

One night, a father overheard his son saying his prayers, "God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grammy. Goodbye Grampa."
The father thought this was strange, but soon forgot about it. The next day, the Grandfather died.

About a month or so later, the father again heard his son's prayers, "God bless Mommy and Daddy. Goodbye Grammy."
The next day, the Grandmother died. The father began to worry about the situation.

Two weeks later, the father again heard his son praying, "God bless Mommy. Goodbye Daddy."
This alone nearly gave the Father a heart attack.

The next morning, without saying anything, he got up early and went to work. He stayed in his office all day.

Finally, after midnight, he went home. He was still alive! He crawled into bed with his wife and apologized.
"I'm sorry honey, I had a really bad day."

"You had a bad day?" his wife yelled. "The mailman dropped dead on the porch this morning!"

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- Lisa

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Trouble Family problems

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