Art Submission; New Loading Screen

[Tomorrow's Dawn]

I've seen the current DoC loading screen in some of my Google searches before
and I realized permission may not have been solicited for its use.
As a student artist, I have strong opinions on the usage of others' work in a non-educational context,
so I took it upon myself to kill three birds with one stone, while preparing a painting for a portfolio this week and to sharpen my skills.

While my own painting is in no way anywhere near as technically proficient or masterful as Raphael Lacoste's (the original artist and a working professional),
I would like to submit my version of the Hanging Gardens of Babylon and allow permission
to Leoreth for use as a loading screen for RFC Dawn of Civilization, if he wishes.

Spoiler :

Please comment and critique as you see fit.
I will likely at some point go back in and rework my painting.

My deviantart from which this is hosted on can be found here:
http://slumberparties.deviantart.com/

If this proves popular, I may do a series of multiple scenes from different civilizations across the world, and hopefully hone my own skills in the process.

 

[Chep]

While I think that the picture is awesome, I don't think that it would be the perfect loading screen for DoC.

I feel that the farb scheme used is too menacing/vivid/emotional... I dont really find the right word, but I feel that the dominant red is too strong.
Yes this game evoques a lot of emotional reaction from the players ("Why won't you stupid idiot just do this trade, damnit!"), a more neutral (I'm thinking brown, grey, etc) loading screen might be more fitting.

Also the people in the foreground irritate me a little, but again I lack the words to really express why.

I think it would be great art for the wonder "Hanging Gardens" and is a beautiful piece of art in itself, just not for the loading screen, imho.

 

[Tomorrow's Dawn]

While I think that the picture is awesome, I don't think that it would be the perfect loading screen for DoC.

I feel that the farb scheme used is too menacing/vivid/emotional... I dont really find the right word, but I feel that the dominant red is too strong.
Yes this game evoques a lot of emotional reaction from the players ("Why won't you stupid idiot just do this trade, damnit!"), a more neutral (I'm thinking brown, grey, etc) loading screen might be more fitting.

Also the people in the foreground irritate me a little, but again I lack the words to really express why.

I think it would be great art for the wonder "Hanging Gardens" and is a beautiful piece of art in itself, just not for the loading screen, imho.

Do you think the sunset is perhaps too saturated?
I was going between a few different color schemes like a golden yellow one and a magenta one.
The one you see here is a combination of both overlays, which make the sunset pop.

About the children in the foreground, is there anything in particular about them that annoys you?

 

[Chep]

I think the children and the woman in the foreground aren't really befitting for such a large-scale game as civ. You never have individuals that you deal with in this game, while the "semi-focus" on these few people there would be better for an RPG or something like that, in my opinion.

About the colours, I think a yellow/blue-ish sky/lighter brown on the buildings might make it less...emotional.

 

[Hojsimpson]

There's too much contrast between the orange/red zone and the rest.
Looking at it is a bit strange.
(I don't really know how to explain myself)

 

[Tomorrow's Dawn]

Thank you, that's some valuable feedback.

I think I will try experimenting with the yellow scheme I had earlier,
which turns the scene essentially into an early morning scene.

About the figures depicted, I noticed from many drawings and pictures of the Hanging Gardens that they hardly featured people at all or had them scaled way down.
They don't tell you too much about the Babylonians who built them.
My intent for bringing some figures into the foreground was twofold:
1. I was attempting to make the piece feel "lived in"
2. The everyday interactions between people contribute significantly to the development or decline of civilization, in some way or another.

 

[merijn_v1]

I like the red sky actually. For me, that suits a loading screen well. I really love that tree in the left.

The only thing that "bothers" me the people in the foreground. To me, they look a bit like they aren't part of the painting itself but more like they are a seperate overlay.

If this proves popular, I may do a series of multiple scenes from different civilizations across the world, and hopefully hone my own skills in the process.

I would love to see more work like this. Especially if they are as good as this one.

 

[strijder20]

While I definitely love your painting, I think it's not grand enough to be used in a game where you simulate all of history. It's personal, vivid and emotional, things which are usually a boon, but I don't think it really fits for this particular use.

 

[DC123456789]

I agree that it does look a bit... angry/emotional.

Also, the eyes of the boy in the background can't really be seen, and that looks a bit... creepy.

 

[Tomorrow's Dawn]

^You mean foreground, right? The foreground is closer to us, and the background is farther away from us.
Yeah, I realized the eye sockets might be too dark. I think I tend to exaggerate the depth a little too much for non-East Asian people (as we mostly have "flat" faces).
In conjunction with the difference between the people in general and the environment (I tend to render humans in a sort of graphic style), they'll have to be reworked then.

The number one concern overall appears to be the sunset and how the it evokes vivid emotion instead of grandeur, is that right?
Perhaps I'll wait for a few more opinions.

Leoreth, any thoughts on using this though?

 

[Charriu]

I've seen the current DoC loading screen in some of my Google searches before
and I realized permission may not have been solicited for its use.
As a student artist, I have strong opinions on the usage of others' work in a non-educational context,
so I took it upon myself to kill three birds with one stone, while preparing a painting for a portfolio this week and to sharpen my skills.

As a fellow game developer I totally agree with you.

I had a look at your painting and these are the things I noticed:

1. First of all I do like the composition. The people are important, because they show how grand the building really is.
2. Most of the painting should be tinted in red/orange/the color of the sky. Just compare it to the original loading screen. There isn't a building in the screen that's not tinted orange/yellow. You already did this well with the city in the background.
3. There's some pink tone in the sky that feels somewhat unnatural.
4. It doesn't seem that the sky and the Hanging Gardens are reflected in the water. The colors should match the sky and/or building.
5. The foreground (people, the plateau and pond) seem to be separate from the background (sky, city and Hanging Gardens). It feels like the foreground is set at night or almost at night (i.e. reflection in water) while the background has this vibrant Sunset.
6. The three people in the foreground have other lighting then the bushes in the foreground. The people should stand more in the shadow, making it hard to see the detail of their faces.
7. The trees on the Hanging Gardens show no lighting/glow from the sunset.
8. Palms on the Hanging Gardens are either too small or the biggest tree on top is to big.
9. Keep in mind where the loading window in the game will be and which parts of the painting will be hidden.
10. Just to make sure. Is the woman in the foreground supposed to be watering the plants?

All in all with a little bit of touching up I think this painting will be wonderful as a loading screen.
If anything of what I wrote is unclear you can PM me. I hope this helps.

 

[Tomorrow's Dawn]

Thank you all very much!
I will have to take much of that into heart.

I have to say, outside of critique between peers, it is really difficult to get good critiques from non-artists outside of it.
People usually fall into one of two categories in those situations:
-They love your work and can't point out technical flaws to help you improve
-They don't offer any constructive criticism and just point out that it sucks without helping you at all.

You guys have been pretty good about this, and this is also helping me to explore through critique in a non-control environment.
After all, an artist won't get very far if they can't sport thick skin.

 

[BenZL43]

how about matching the design of the Hanging Garden to the one in-game? There’s no real photograph or drawing about it found.. yet; so all depictions are probably artist rendering too. However, I think it’ll be great if the depictions of Hanging Garden in wonder video and loading screenn is pretty same.

And btw, how about uploading the early morning version you said you experimented before too for comparison since.. that will reflects dawn of civilization better.

 

[Royal Tenenbaum]

As a personal taste I prefer the background to be a more more calming, relaxed picture. Your picture, as a reflection of your personality, is very passionate in its colors.

I love the color of the water though, it is very Czontvary Kozstka Tivadar; my favorite artist.

It's really hard to say how it would look without having the loading message thing over it -- I don't know whether it is too distracting or not.

The painting should reflect more construction and grand architecture like our current one, as this one doesn't capture the Rhye's and Fall aspect.

 

[Reus]

It's great so far, but I agree with Royal Tennenbaum that it would need to be more relaxed. Though I am a little blind towards art so I can't say much on how to do so.
But as a Civil Engineering student and Architectural enthusiast, I will comment about the structures in the back.

The garden/pond looks good, and the building in the background (hanging garden I assume ?) Is also good, but perhaps to represent the dynamism of Civilizations the background buildings shouldn't be tied to one culture/civ. It should be a mix of culture but the differences shouldn't be to contrast. The Civ V cultural victory picture is a good example:

Spoiler :

 

[ezzlar]

It would be great if you could make a picture for each of the different eras which would add flavour to the mod!

 

[BenZL43]

To replace the currently odd and awkward clock image from each era? that's also a good idea. I support it.

 

[youtien]

Well, this mod is "Dawn" of civilization, not evening.

還是畫個早上五六點鐘的太陽好了，不必八九點鐘的。

 

[ales_]

Please, translate your foreign text.

 

[mrrandomplayer]

My friend said it had something to do with 5 or 6 in the morning, but here is the amazing Google Translate:

Or draw five or six o'clock in the morning sun is good, do not have eight or nine