Ok.. Well, I still don't have any solid ideas for what might be causing the problem - but I do have some more ideas for things you can check to try to work it out.
You mentioned that when just two of you play together at the same house it works ok, but when the third person joins from outside it breaks. What if just one of the home players and the external player are in the same game? Does that work? If it does, then it suggest the problem is something to do with all three of you being in the same game at once. If it doesn't work, it suggests the problem is related to the external person's setup.
If it's possible to get the external person into the local network for testing, then that's another thing to try - if everything works when all three of you are in the same house, then it suggest the problem has something to do with the network setup - maybe there's some port settings or something that need to be changed. If being in the same house doesn't fix the problem, then again it suggests it has something to do with the third person.
I don't expect that PerfectWorld2 would be the cause of the problems, but I'd still suggest doing these test with one of the standard map scripts just so that we can be certain it isn't related to the map script. (As a completely off-topic aside, I'm not really a fan of PerfectWorld maps... they seem to produce a lot of homogenous junk like
this and
this. Maybe I just don't know which settings to use or something, but those maps don't look very good to me...)
I have heard several people say that Windows XP and Windows Vista / 7 playing together can cause problems (which can be worked around by setting the Vista / 7 computer to use XP compatibility mode). But I don't think that's what's causing what you're seeing, because I've never heard of the 7 vs XP thing causing instantaneous OOS - and besides, I personally suspect that it the OS compatibility problems aren't actually a separate bug, but rather just that the different OSs cause existing bugs to manifest in different ways... (ie. if all the other bugs were fixed, I don't there would be any problem using XP and 7 together.)
...
So anyway, as I said, I don't really have any further ideas as to what might be causing the problem, but if you have the time / inclination, I suggest you try some of those tests I suggested so that we can narrow down the problem.