Found this list here. @Plotinus and @Traitorfish may appreciate it...
A
Abelard: Nun
Acton: Corrupt causes
Adler: Inferiority complex
Adorno: Bad frankfurter
Ahmed: Supernatural causes
Albert: Undermind
Altham: Logical pluracy
Althusser: Became history without a subject
Anaxagoras: Burned up
Anaximander: Infinite causes
Anaximenes: Evaporated
Anscombe: By intention
Anselm: Than which no deadlier can be conceived
Arendt: The human condition
Arnold: Drowned on Dover beach
Aquinas: Last causes
Aristotle: Excessive moderation
Armstrong: Indisposed
Arrow: Voted out
Audi: Durch Technik
Augustine: Hippo
Austin: Executionary act
Ayer: Unverifiable
B
Bacon, F: Hit by idol in market place
Bach, Kent: Ceased to be the only bearer of his name
Bacon, J: De trope
Barwise: Bad situation
Belnap: Became irrelevant
Benacerraf: Number was up
Bennett: Taking the consequences
Bentham: Fell off his stilts
Bergson: Elan mortel
Berkeley: Divine neglect
Berlin: Encountered one big thing
Bird: Birdlime (unnatural kind)
Bishop: Translation
Blanshard: End necessitated by system
Blackburn: Became quasi-real
Block: Trouble with bodily function
Boole: Became inverted
Bosanquet: Unqualified judgment
Bradley: Absolutely everything
Brandom: Made implicit
Bratman: As planned
Brown, Harvey: Suffocation
Burge: Something like arthritis
Buridan: Asinine starvation
Buber: Unfortunate encounter
Burke: Sublimated
Button: Unlimited reality
C
Caird, Edward: Heart attack on head
Calvin: Predestined
Campbell, K: Epiphenomenal causes
Camus: Found exit
Cantor: Set aside
Carnap: Left the material mode
Cartwright, Nancy: Incapacitated
Cartwright, Richard: Satisfied negative existential
Cassirer: Symbolic causes
Castaneda: Indexical self-disguise
Cato the Elder: Delendus
Cavell: Unacknowledgement
Chalmers: Too hard a problem
Chisholm: Lost his foundations
Chomsky: Degenerative transformation
Church: Recursive causes
Churchland(s): Eliminated
Cicero: Indecision
Coady: No telling
Cohen, G: Missed the marks
Colburn: Heteronomy
Collingwood: Entered history
Comte: Went negative
Condorcet: Improbable jury
Confucius: Lost his way
Copernicus: Revolution
Cournot: Became too improbable
Craig, E: Work of God
Crane: Thoughtlessness
Cresswell: Outmoded
D
Dancy: No particular reason
Danto: Artfully transfigured
Darwin: Became unfit
Davidson: Radically different schematosis
Dawkins: Suicidal genes
Deleuze: Deterritorialized
Democritus: Atomised
Dennett: Unintentional stance
Derrida: Deconstructed
Descartes: Stopped thinking
Devitt: Naturalised causes
Devlin: Fell off Clapham omnibus
Dewey: Became part of the environment
Diderot: Unenlightened causes
Dilthey: Hermeneutic complication
Dingler: Unsuccessful experiments
Diodorus: Mastered by the argument
Diogenes: Exposure
Dretske: No indications
Dreyfus: Computerised
Dudman: Conditional causes
Dummett: Unverifiable causes
Duns Scotus: Being univocal to an accident
Dupre: Disorder
Durkheim: Suicide
Dworkin: Lost his integrity
E
Earman: Inextendible world-line
Einstein: Diced with God
Eliot: Eructation of unhealthy souls
Emmet: Passage of nature
Empedocles: Cosmic cycle accident
Epictetus: Crime of passion
Epicurus: Nothing to worry about
Ewing: Unfitness
F
Feigl: Nomological dangler
Feuerbach: Unfeeling causes
Feyerabend: Everything went
Fichte: Non-ego takeover
Field: Weight of numbers
Fine: Natural ontological causes
Fischer: Incompatibility
Flew: Met the great equaliser
Fodor: Fell off Granny's knee
Follesdal: Noematheosis
Foot: Run over by a trolley
Foucault: Disempowered
Frankfurt: Revised his will
Frege: Fell under a concept
Freud: Slipped
Fukuyama: History restarted
G
Gadamer: Lost horizons
Galbraith: Overpriced
Galen: Lost his sense of humours
Galileo: Stopped moving
Geach: Reference failure
Gentzen: Unnatural deduction
Gettier: Fatal counter-example
Gewirth: Dialectical necessity
Gibbon: Scribbling
Glymour: Tripped over his own bootstraps
Gödel: Became incomplete
Goldman: Unknown internal causes
Goodman: Gruesome bleen infection
Gorgias: Annihilated
Green: Had to share humanity's common end
Grice: Non-natural
Grosseteste: Encephalitis
Grunbaum: Psyched out
Gupta: Became unstable
H
Haack: Crossed out
Habermas: A discourse condition
Hacker: Lost his Witts
Hale: Reduced to logic
Hamilton: Crushed by mill
Han Feizi: Made illegal
Hare: Wrong prescription
Hart: No longer recognised
Hartshorne: Creatively synthesized
Haugeland: Entered excluded zone
Hawking: Philosophy survived
Hayek: Serfdom
Heal: Dissimulation
Hegel: Gave up the Geist
Heidegger: Not being in time
Heisenberg: Uncertain causes
Hempel: Explained away
Heraclitus: Fell in the same river twice
Hilbert: Informal causes
Hinckfuss: Fit of morality
Hintikka: Lost his normal forms
Hobbes: Nasty causes
Hobhouse: Stopped developing
Hofstadter: Holistic trap
Holton: Weakness of will
Honderich: Undetermined
Horwich: Deflated
Horstmann: Anthropopetal collapse
Hume: Committed to the flames
Husserl: Phenomenally bad luck
Huxley: Rabies
J
Jackson: Saw red
James, W: The will to leave
Jaspers: Essence exhausted
Jeffrey: Indecision
Johnson, S: Kicked the bucket
Joseph: Stebbing
K
Kamm, Frances: Hit by a trolley
Kamp: Ran out of time
Kant: Found the means to his own end
Kaplan: dthat
Katz: Decomposed
Ketland: Insubstantiated
Keynes: The long run
Kierkegaard: Sick to death
Kim: Supervened on nothing
Kitcher: Vaulting
Klein, Melanie: Split
Korsgaard: Kant tell
Koslow: Structural failure
Kripke: Dropped causal chain
Kuhn: Paradigm lost
Kyburg: Low frequency
L
Lacan: Lack
Lakatos: Degenerated
La Mettrie: Machination
Langer: Ran out of new keys
Langton: Objectification
Laozi: Attained utmost vacuity
Laplace: Prior arrangement
Laudan: Progressive debility
Le Catt, Bruce: Curiosity
Leibniz: Monadnucleosis
Lesniewski: De-parted
Levi: Contracted corpus
Levinas: Merged with others
Levi-Strauss: Eaten by natives
Lewis, C I: No more givens
Lewis, D: Joined his counterparts
Lewy: Outfoxed
Lipton: Unexplained
Locke: No idea
Lovejoy: Being unchained
Lloyd: Loss of bodily humours
Lucretius: Bumped off
Luther: Diet of worms
Lyotard: Post post-modernism
M
Mach: Unsensational causes
Machiavelli: Intriguing causes
MacIntyre: After-virtue infection
Mackie: An inus condition
Maimonides: Lost his guide
Malcolm: Undreamed of causes
Malebranche: Occasional causes
Malley: Ceased to subsist
Marcuse: Became multi-dimensional
Maritain: Connatural causes
Martin, C B: Lockejaw
Marx: Material causes
Matravers: Art attack
Maxwell: Demonic possession
McCall: Branch fell off
McCulloch: Went out of his head
McDowell: Left the space of reasons
McGinn: Case closed
McTaggart: Untimely causes
Meinong: Lack of subsistence
Mellor: By chance
Merleau-Ponty: Perceptions blacked out
Mill: Depsychologised
Millikan: Devolved
Misak: Useless causes
Montague: Disfunction
Montaigne: Misjudged causes
Moore: By his own hand, obviously
Mumford: Outlawed
N
Naess: Over-exposure at great height
Nagel, Ernest: Reduction
Nagel, Tom: Struck by bat
Nerlich: Spaced out
Neurath: Positive causes
Newcomb: Too boxed
Newton: Fluxions
Nietzsche: Overpowered himself
Noonan: Unidentified assailant
Nozick: Lost track
O
O'Shaughnessy: Lost the will
Oakeshott: Experienced arrest
Ockham: Shaved beyond necessity
Oddie: Flew too close to the truth
Oliver, A: Bankrupt business
Ortega y Gasset: Learned ignoramus
P
Paine: Lost his rights
Paley: Bad design
Papineau: Supernaturalised
Paracelsus: Stabbed
Parfit: Mistaken identity
Parmenides: No two ways
Pascal: The wagers of sin
Passmore: 100 years of philosophy
Pavlov: Reflexed
Peacocke: Discontent
Peirce: Reached the end of inquiry
Penrose: Became computable
Perry: Lost himself
Pettit: Stopped responding
Pherecydes: Lice
Piaget: Irreversible operation
Pirsig: Motorbike crashed
Place: Brained
Plantinga: Of necessity
Plato: Caved in
Pollock: Defeated
Popper: Falsified
Potter, M: Whereof he could not speak
Price: Priceless reality
Priest: Became more dead than alive
Prior: Past it
Pritchard: Bad luck
Protagoras: Eaten by fish
Putnam: Dysfunctional state
Pyrrho: Scepticemia
Pythagoras: Squared on the hypotenuse
Q
Quine: Over-stimulation
R
Rand, Ayn: Objectified ego
Ramsey: Made redundant
Rawls: Ignorance unveiled
Raz: Exclusionary reasons
Redhead: Robust causes
Reichenbach: Common causes
Reid: Uncommon sense
Rescher: Published & perished
Ricoeur: Felt misunderstood
Rogers, Carl: Lost his gestalt
Rorty: No foundations
Ross: In the line of duty
Rousseau: Contract job
Russell: Cut himself shaving
Ryle: Gave up the ghost
S
Salmon: Fishy causal process
Sartre: Nothing doing
Scanlon: Passed the buck
Schaffer, J: Pre-empted
Scheffler, Samuel: Exercised his prerogative
Scheler: Became objectively valued
Schelling: Became too idealistic
Schlesinger: Became hypertensed
Schlick: Collapsed protocol
Schopenhauer: Willing to die
Searle: Chinese food
Sellars: Not given
Sextus Empiricus: Doubtful causes
Sheffer: Stroke
Shoemaker: Loss of identity
Sidgwick: Impractical reason
Simons: Departed
Singer: Liberated
Skinner, B F: Bad behaviour
Skolem: Ambiguity
Slote: Had enough
Smart: Dematerialised
Smiley: Lost his singleton
Smith, A: Invisible hand
Smith, M: Lost motivation
Smith, P: Unanalysed
Socrates: Consumption
Sorabji: Four causes
Spengler: Decline
Sperber: Became irrelevant
Spinoza: Substance abuse
Stalnaker: Inquiry pending
Steglich-Petersen: Lost his norms
Sterelny: Devolution
Stocker: Existence became supererogatory
Strauss, Levi: Persecution
Strawson: Unidentified
Sylvan: Lost in jungle
T
Tanner: Götterdammerung
Tarski: 'Death'
Taylor: Renounced agency
Thales: Drowned
Thoreau: Uncivil disobedience
Tillich: Being underground
Tuomela: Group decision
Turing: Failed his own test
U
Unamuno, Miguel: Tragic loss of sense
Unger: Never knew
V
Van Fraassen: Empirical inadequacy
Van Inwagen: Own free will
Vico: Recycled
Virilio: Tachycardia
Von Mises, Richard: Collective causes
Von Wright: By obligation
W
Wagner: Götterdämmerung
Walton: Make-believe
Warburton: Went back to basics
Weber: Overwork
Wheeler: Manifold causes
Whitehead: Procession
Wiggins: Substantial change
Williams: Bored with immortality
Winch: Witchcraft
Winnicott, Donald: Falsified himself
Wisdom: Other minds
Wittgenstein: Became the late Wittgenstein
Wolf: Sanctified
Worrall: Destructured
Wright: Objectified
Z
Zeno: Run over by tortoise
Personal favorites are Luther, Searle, and Wittgenstein.
A
Abelard: Nun
Acton: Corrupt causes
Adler: Inferiority complex
Adorno: Bad frankfurter
Ahmed: Supernatural causes
Albert: Undermind
Altham: Logical pluracy
Althusser: Became history without a subject
Anaxagoras: Burned up
Anaximander: Infinite causes
Anaximenes: Evaporated
Anscombe: By intention
Anselm: Than which no deadlier can be conceived
Arendt: The human condition
Arnold: Drowned on Dover beach
Aquinas: Last causes
Aristotle: Excessive moderation
Armstrong: Indisposed
Arrow: Voted out
Audi: Durch Technik
Augustine: Hippo
Austin: Executionary act
Ayer: Unverifiable
B
Bacon, F: Hit by idol in market place
Bach, Kent: Ceased to be the only bearer of his name
Bacon, J: De trope
Barwise: Bad situation
Belnap: Became irrelevant
Benacerraf: Number was up
Bennett: Taking the consequences
Bentham: Fell off his stilts
Bergson: Elan mortel
Berkeley: Divine neglect
Berlin: Encountered one big thing
Bird: Birdlime (unnatural kind)
Bishop: Translation
Blanshard: End necessitated by system
Blackburn: Became quasi-real
Block: Trouble with bodily function
Boole: Became inverted
Bosanquet: Unqualified judgment
Bradley: Absolutely everything
Brandom: Made implicit
Bratman: As planned
Brown, Harvey: Suffocation
Burge: Something like arthritis
Buridan: Asinine starvation
Buber: Unfortunate encounter
Burke: Sublimated
Button: Unlimited reality
C
Caird, Edward: Heart attack on head
Calvin: Predestined
Campbell, K: Epiphenomenal causes
Camus: Found exit
Cantor: Set aside
Carnap: Left the material mode
Cartwright, Nancy: Incapacitated
Cartwright, Richard: Satisfied negative existential
Cassirer: Symbolic causes
Castaneda: Indexical self-disguise
Cato the Elder: Delendus
Cavell: Unacknowledgement
Chalmers: Too hard a problem
Chisholm: Lost his foundations
Chomsky: Degenerative transformation
Church: Recursive causes
Churchland(s): Eliminated
Cicero: Indecision
Coady: No telling
Cohen, G: Missed the marks
Colburn: Heteronomy
Collingwood: Entered history
Comte: Went negative
Condorcet: Improbable jury
Confucius: Lost his way
Copernicus: Revolution
Cournot: Became too improbable
Craig, E: Work of God
Crane: Thoughtlessness
Cresswell: Outmoded
D
Dancy: No particular reason
Danto: Artfully transfigured
Darwin: Became unfit
Davidson: Radically different schematosis
Dawkins: Suicidal genes
Deleuze: Deterritorialized
Democritus: Atomised
Dennett: Unintentional stance
Derrida: Deconstructed
Descartes: Stopped thinking
Devitt: Naturalised causes
Devlin: Fell off Clapham omnibus
Dewey: Became part of the environment
Diderot: Unenlightened causes
Dilthey: Hermeneutic complication
Dingler: Unsuccessful experiments
Diodorus: Mastered by the argument
Diogenes: Exposure
Dretske: No indications
Dreyfus: Computerised
Dudman: Conditional causes
Dummett: Unverifiable causes
Duns Scotus: Being univocal to an accident
Dupre: Disorder
Durkheim: Suicide
Dworkin: Lost his integrity
E
Earman: Inextendible world-line
Einstein: Diced with God
Eliot: Eructation of unhealthy souls
Emmet: Passage of nature
Empedocles: Cosmic cycle accident
Epictetus: Crime of passion
Epicurus: Nothing to worry about
Ewing: Unfitness
F
Feigl: Nomological dangler
Feuerbach: Unfeeling causes
Feyerabend: Everything went
Fichte: Non-ego takeover
Field: Weight of numbers
Fine: Natural ontological causes
Fischer: Incompatibility
Flew: Met the great equaliser
Fodor: Fell off Granny's knee
Follesdal: Noematheosis
Foot: Run over by a trolley
Foucault: Disempowered
Frankfurt: Revised his will
Frege: Fell under a concept
Freud: Slipped
Fukuyama: History restarted
G
Gadamer: Lost horizons
Galbraith: Overpriced
Galen: Lost his sense of humours
Galileo: Stopped moving
Geach: Reference failure
Gentzen: Unnatural deduction
Gettier: Fatal counter-example
Gewirth: Dialectical necessity
Gibbon: Scribbling
Glymour: Tripped over his own bootstraps
Gödel: Became incomplete
Goldman: Unknown internal causes
Goodman: Gruesome bleen infection
Gorgias: Annihilated
Green: Had to share humanity's common end
Grice: Non-natural
Grosseteste: Encephalitis
Grunbaum: Psyched out
Gupta: Became unstable
H
Haack: Crossed out
Habermas: A discourse condition
Hacker: Lost his Witts
Hale: Reduced to logic
Hamilton: Crushed by mill
Han Feizi: Made illegal
Hare: Wrong prescription
Hart: No longer recognised
Hartshorne: Creatively synthesized
Haugeland: Entered excluded zone
Hawking: Philosophy survived
Hayek: Serfdom
Heal: Dissimulation
Hegel: Gave up the Geist
Heidegger: Not being in time
Heisenberg: Uncertain causes
Hempel: Explained away
Heraclitus: Fell in the same river twice
Hilbert: Informal causes
Hinckfuss: Fit of morality
Hintikka: Lost his normal forms
Hobbes: Nasty causes
Hobhouse: Stopped developing
Hofstadter: Holistic trap
Holton: Weakness of will
Honderich: Undetermined
Horwich: Deflated
Horstmann: Anthropopetal collapse
Hume: Committed to the flames
Husserl: Phenomenally bad luck
Huxley: Rabies
J
Jackson: Saw red
James, W: The will to leave
Jaspers: Essence exhausted
Jeffrey: Indecision
Johnson, S: Kicked the bucket
Joseph: Stebbing
K
Kamm, Frances: Hit by a trolley
Kamp: Ran out of time
Kant: Found the means to his own end
Kaplan: dthat
Katz: Decomposed
Ketland: Insubstantiated
Keynes: The long run
Kierkegaard: Sick to death
Kim: Supervened on nothing
Kitcher: Vaulting
Klein, Melanie: Split
Korsgaard: Kant tell
Koslow: Structural failure
Kripke: Dropped causal chain
Kuhn: Paradigm lost
Kyburg: Low frequency
L
Lacan: Lack
Lakatos: Degenerated
La Mettrie: Machination
Langer: Ran out of new keys
Langton: Objectification
Laozi: Attained utmost vacuity
Laplace: Prior arrangement
Laudan: Progressive debility
Le Catt, Bruce: Curiosity
Leibniz: Monadnucleosis
Lesniewski: De-parted
Levi: Contracted corpus
Levinas: Merged with others
Levi-Strauss: Eaten by natives
Lewis, C I: No more givens
Lewis, D: Joined his counterparts
Lewy: Outfoxed
Lipton: Unexplained
Locke: No idea
Lovejoy: Being unchained
Lloyd: Loss of bodily humours
Lucretius: Bumped off
Luther: Diet of worms
Lyotard: Post post-modernism
M
Mach: Unsensational causes
Machiavelli: Intriguing causes
MacIntyre: After-virtue infection
Mackie: An inus condition
Maimonides: Lost his guide
Malcolm: Undreamed of causes
Malebranche: Occasional causes
Malley: Ceased to subsist
Marcuse: Became multi-dimensional
Maritain: Connatural causes
Martin, C B: Lockejaw
Marx: Material causes
Matravers: Art attack
Maxwell: Demonic possession
McCall: Branch fell off
McCulloch: Went out of his head
McDowell: Left the space of reasons
McGinn: Case closed
McTaggart: Untimely causes
Meinong: Lack of subsistence
Mellor: By chance
Merleau-Ponty: Perceptions blacked out
Mill: Depsychologised
Millikan: Devolved
Misak: Useless causes
Montague: Disfunction
Montaigne: Misjudged causes
Moore: By his own hand, obviously
Mumford: Outlawed
N
Naess: Over-exposure at great height
Nagel, Ernest: Reduction
Nagel, Tom: Struck by bat
Nerlich: Spaced out
Neurath: Positive causes
Newcomb: Too boxed
Newton: Fluxions
Nietzsche: Overpowered himself
Noonan: Unidentified assailant
Nozick: Lost track
O
O'Shaughnessy: Lost the will
Oakeshott: Experienced arrest
Ockham: Shaved beyond necessity
Oddie: Flew too close to the truth
Oliver, A: Bankrupt business
Ortega y Gasset: Learned ignoramus
P
Paine: Lost his rights
Paley: Bad design
Papineau: Supernaturalised
Paracelsus: Stabbed
Parfit: Mistaken identity
Parmenides: No two ways
Pascal: The wagers of sin
Passmore: 100 years of philosophy
Pavlov: Reflexed
Peacocke: Discontent
Peirce: Reached the end of inquiry
Penrose: Became computable
Perry: Lost himself
Pettit: Stopped responding
Pherecydes: Lice
Piaget: Irreversible operation
Pirsig: Motorbike crashed
Place: Brained
Plantinga: Of necessity
Plato: Caved in
Pollock: Defeated
Popper: Falsified
Potter, M: Whereof he could not speak
Price: Priceless reality
Priest: Became more dead than alive
Prior: Past it
Pritchard: Bad luck
Protagoras: Eaten by fish
Putnam: Dysfunctional state
Pyrrho: Scepticemia
Pythagoras: Squared on the hypotenuse
Q
Quine: Over-stimulation
R
Rand, Ayn: Objectified ego
Ramsey: Made redundant
Rawls: Ignorance unveiled
Raz: Exclusionary reasons
Redhead: Robust causes
Reichenbach: Common causes
Reid: Uncommon sense
Rescher: Published & perished
Ricoeur: Felt misunderstood
Rogers, Carl: Lost his gestalt
Rorty: No foundations
Ross: In the line of duty
Rousseau: Contract job
Russell: Cut himself shaving
Ryle: Gave up the ghost
S
Salmon: Fishy causal process
Sartre: Nothing doing
Scanlon: Passed the buck
Schaffer, J: Pre-empted
Scheffler, Samuel: Exercised his prerogative
Scheler: Became objectively valued
Schelling: Became too idealistic
Schlesinger: Became hypertensed
Schlick: Collapsed protocol
Schopenhauer: Willing to die
Searle: Chinese food
Sellars: Not given
Sextus Empiricus: Doubtful causes
Sheffer: Stroke
Shoemaker: Loss of identity
Sidgwick: Impractical reason
Simons: Departed
Singer: Liberated
Skinner, B F: Bad behaviour
Skolem: Ambiguity
Slote: Had enough
Smart: Dematerialised
Smiley: Lost his singleton
Smith, A: Invisible hand
Smith, M: Lost motivation
Smith, P: Unanalysed
Socrates: Consumption
Sorabji: Four causes
Spengler: Decline
Sperber: Became irrelevant
Spinoza: Substance abuse
Stalnaker: Inquiry pending
Steglich-Petersen: Lost his norms
Sterelny: Devolution
Stocker: Existence became supererogatory
Strauss, Levi: Persecution
Strawson: Unidentified
Sylvan: Lost in jungle
T
Tanner: Götterdammerung
Tarski: 'Death'
Taylor: Renounced agency
Thales: Drowned
Thoreau: Uncivil disobedience
Tillich: Being underground
Tuomela: Group decision
Turing: Failed his own test
U
Unamuno, Miguel: Tragic loss of sense
Unger: Never knew
V
Van Fraassen: Empirical inadequacy
Van Inwagen: Own free will
Vico: Recycled
Virilio: Tachycardia
Von Mises, Richard: Collective causes
Von Wright: By obligation
W
Wagner: Götterdämmerung
Walton: Make-believe
Warburton: Went back to basics
Weber: Overwork
Wheeler: Manifold causes
Whitehead: Procession
Wiggins: Substantial change
Williams: Bored with immortality
Winch: Witchcraft
Winnicott, Donald: Falsified himself
Wisdom: Other minds
Wittgenstein: Became the late Wittgenstein
Wolf: Sanctified
Worrall: Destructured
Wright: Objectified
Z
Zeno: Run over by tortoise
Personal favorites are Luther, Searle, and Wittgenstein.
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