CiV first extension or why Jon Shafer left firaxis...(a joke)

[LAnkou]

Hello everyone,

I have a relative who works at 2K, and there were some leaks about why shafer left firaxis.
He made a presentation about his vision for Civilization V first extension, and there was a huge rebukal from firaxis and 2K representants. Now in both companies, the powerpoint of his presentation is circulating, and my american cousin just send me a summary of the presentation:

Civilization V : Struggle and Survival:

Selling Features:

New civilization : Try standing the test of time with failed empires like Babylon, Poland, Incas or the Celts
NOTES: New nations are Poland, Austria-Hungary, Mayas, Carthage, Korea, Celts
Will include already DLC released civilization: Babylon, Spain, Incas

New scenarios: Survive in hostile environment or against overwhelming opponent. Rise as Rome in the classical age, survive 2 world wars as Poland or face dinosaurs in scenarios with unique features
NOTES: Include Incas VS Spain
Central Europe 1910-1950: try survive two world war between Poland, Germany, Russia, Austria-Hungary, Focus on military strategy
Rise of Rome: Classical age scenarios – extended use of social policy,
Romance of 3 kingdoms: China’s historical mythology, play as Wu, Wei or Shu to be rule on Chine– Special Rules for diplomacy.
JuraCiv Park: fight against others players and wild dinosaurs to stole a T-Rex egg, and let it hatch to grow your own T-Rex. Tactical game with dinosaurs: Raptor Cavalry, Diplodocus mounted artillery…

New uniqueness for each civilization: Try standing the test of time with a weakness unique to your empire like American “Bring Back soldiers home” or Mayas “2012 Doom”
NOTES: Each civilization will have a unique weakness (UW). It will make the game harder for players, limiting the “dumbdown civ” or “too easy” comments. Exemple of UW:
USA: “Bring back soldiers home” unhappiness increase when a war is fought overseas, except against germany
China: “Great Leap Forward” each new social policy chosen diminish food for 2 turns
Mayas: “2012 Doom” Mayas can’t win after year 2012
France: “White Flag” when signing a peace treaty on the loser side, the winner can always ask for a city
Germany: “2 world wars and one world cup” can’t conquer cities of England. Will lose all wars fought against England, USA, Russia or France.

New wonders and units: Put your mark on history by building destroyed wonders like the Mausoleum of Halicarnassus, Bamiyan Buddha, find endangered natural wonders like everglades mangrove or dinausor fossil park Paleorota, eliminate competition from history using the new machine-gun, the elite commando unit or bombarding ennemis cities using the famous monthy python cow launcher…
NOTES: the wonders list will include only destroyed or endangered items:
Buildings: Mausoleum of Halicarnassus, Bamiyan Buddha, Atlantis (coastal city only), Walhalla rainbow skyway…
Natural: Everglades mangrove, dinausor fossil park Paleorota, the dodo forest and Charibde and Scylla,
Unit: Machine-gun, elite commando, Monthy python cow launcher, Megazord Robot


Others features:
-Extended diplomacy: every turn, each AI civ tell the player what they think about him and their exact plans for the next 10 turns, players won't be able to complain about "not knowing what happend in the AI's mind"
-Better AI: no, just joking…
-Better Performance: if we can, of course...
-Bugfix: we will add a suffisant number of technical and balance bug just to be sure to have some work for programmers until next year…

I don't have the full presentation yet, but as soon as I have it, i'll share it...

 

[sukritact]

This has got to be a joke.... right?

 

[lschnarch]

Nice joke.

 

[sukritact]

It sounded believable until it mentioned dinosaurs

 

[Orion66]

lol

 

[Peregrine]

Oh, I don't know, Ischy--there was a dinosaur scenario included in Civ2's MGE package (think it was first released in Fantastic Worlds first though).

What I'm having trouble believing is the Monty Python "cow launcher."

It's got to be a joke.

Cute one, though.

 

[sukritact]

I can see it now; cows of destruction flying towards Beijing. lol

 

[blind biker]

i dunno.... sounds vaguely plausible

 

[Callonia]

I can see it, Monty screaming its 2012 now, and he's saying he's going to kill us all before his god gets to have the fun of killing us and conquers the world.

 

[anjinsan1966]

"Yea right,thats a likely story"!

 

[h0ncho]

I believed it until the "New uniqueness for each civilization"- part. Those weaknesses are hugely insulting to the respective countries (France always has to cede a city lol) and is suicidal as a game design strategy.

That said, unique weaknesses sounds like a pretty good idea...

 

[Bradicus]

I can totally see Shafer trying to get things moving in the right direction somehow, but what you've posted above is utter nonsense.

I'm sorry... I love the Poles... visited the country, learned the history, loved the food, made love to the women.... I just don't see them making an appearance in Civ.... not with Germany and Russia. It's not that it's undeserving... it just.... toooo many Euro civs already!

The Unique Weakness feature would be interesting but would cause too much complaining. It's unrealistic given history and leads me to believe this is just bogus made up by some troll with a lot of time on his hands. Take Germany's UW for example. Can't invade English cities? Need I remind you the Normans were Germanic (though settled in N. France), as were the Angles, Saxons, Jutes, Danes, etc?

Moderator Action: You are not allowed to flame and troll other members, and calling someone a troll is trolling.

No... what was posted above is nonsense. Hah! Your American cousin! Yea.... I have a brother in the mailroom at 2K that blows the chairmen on the board of directors who heard a rumour they are already working on Civ 6 =P What I just said is about as believable as this thread.

 

[LAnkou]

And I tought i've put enough obvious things for people to know it was a simple joke (Seriously: the thread smiley, "stand the test of time with failed empire", JuraCiv Park, Mayas can't win after year 2012, Monty Python cow launcher, Megazord robots, the whole "Others features" part). I'm amazed some may find it serious...

At least 6 people enjoyed it...

 

[blind biker]

And I tought i've put enough obvious things for people to know it was a simple joke (Seriously: the thread smiley, "stand the test of time with failed empire", JuraCiv Park, Mayas can't win after year 2012, Monty Python cow launcher, Megazord robots, the whole "Others features" part). I'm amazed some may find it serious...

It's a WikiLeaks conspiracy!

 

[FlyingDutchman7]

Haha, yeah... if I were Firaxis I would fire Shafer after such a presentation too . Dinosaurs... c'mon!
Nice joke .

 

[lschnarch]

Well, the sad truth is Shafer got fired because he insisted on launching longhorns, while marketing was favouring European Holsteins.

 

[Androrc the Orc]

I know it's a joke but...

Unique weakness sounds like a neat feature, but the effects should be included in the trait/unique ability, rather.

And a Dino scenario would, obviously, be pure awesome

 

[blind biker]

I hope this thread inspires some modder to introduce the aforementioned units. Example:

Besides, check out MY UUs:

Dark Jouster
Unique Unit for PreLynMax's Awesome Empire
Replaces Knight
10, 2, 90
Immune to first strikes
Doesn't receive defensive bonuses
Flank attack vs. Catapults and Trebuchets
Double damage against Catapults and Trebuchets

2nd UU (only for certian mods)

Big Giant Poo Flinger
Unique Unit for PreLynMax's Awesome Empire
Replaces Trebuchet
5, 1, 50
+100% city attack
Doesn't receive defensive bonuses
Maximum of 75% damage to enemy
Causes collateral damage
Can bombard city defenses (-16%/turn)
Immune to collateral damage from Siege Units
Cannot attack amphibiously

Big Giant Poo Flinger. Totally in tune with Civ V's Culture Bomb and Fountain of Youth, don't you think? It should be part of an official Civ V extension pack, or even a patch.

 

[Alpedar]

Btw, almost every nation in europe had its moments when it could became dominant if something went different way (and some more than one).
The ones I know of (skiping already major civs in Civ5):
Sweden: during 30 years wars,
Denmark - viking period (conquered moscow, invasions to england (but without staying)
Neaderland - oversee colonies (in real world england was more sucesfull)
Austria - no need to explain, def. better than germens except modern era
Poland - had large polish state in north east europe (without scandinavia)
Czechs - Great Morava, Czech state during Otakar II, during Charles IV center of roman empire (could be case for Luxenburg), Hussite revolution (showing gunpowder application and non noble army to neighbours, several crusades against them, ALL failed), later could be dominant partner in Czech-Austria state if Habsburg monarch died first, during WW1 Czech legion (formed of former captives from east front, fought for russia before revolution) punched through soviet russia on its retreat home (definitely not stronger than whole soviet army at that point, otherwise they would not take it the long way), (btw. it fought alongside US marines on soviet soil), before WW2 one of top weapon producers and thanks to chamberlain one of reason for hitlers military success.

What I want to say, all europian nations have it in themselv (and I guess all nations worldwide), so any nation COULD be added as major civ

btw, guess where I'm from

 

[LegionSteve]

And I tought i've put enough obvious things for people to know it was a simple joke (Seriously: the thread smiley, "stand the test of time with failed empire", JuraCiv Park, Mayas can't win after year 2012, Monty Python cow launcher, Megazord robots, the whole "Others features" part). I'm amazed some may find it serious...

At least 6 people enjoyed it...

I thought it was very funny well done

I hope this thread inspires some modder to introduce the aforementioned units. Example:

Big Giant Poo Flinger. Totally in tune with Civ V's Culture Bomb and Fountain of Youth, don't you think? It should be part of an official Civ V extension pack, or even a patch.

I DEMAND firaxis provide a BGPF in the next patch or I'm not buying any more DLC ever