Update 1: A star is born, and it looks like a golden hedgehog.
We start with:
1 settler (slightly over date)
1 explorer (in good working condition, I think, the guarantee expires soon)
1 worker (imported, made in china)
1 archer (in need of a better bow)
Look around the starting place and bask in the glory of... er... a few horses, a tribal village and guess what?
Life gave me lemons.
My explorer (I am pleased to find it is not a scam) looks at our tribal village and another settler.
(a bit of editing on my part goes here, the capital is Aigai, the second city Pella, so I just renamed both) This settler founds Civacadia (1/5 Cities built, named after yours truly), meaning we OWN dis coast!
Some Policy changing, normally I don't pick slavery because a) I find it inhumane and b) I don't want the nasty event to fire, but that's a risk I'll take.
See that part in the religion tab marked "Fundamentalist"(EDIT: actually, I have no screen, sorry, you can't see it)? It allows me to build Inquisitors (DOWN WITH EVIL HERETICS) and Fanatics (who, of course, shalt be nameth after the gods of the land called the Center of the Civilization Fanatics). It also gives me the police state war weariness bonus and no non-state religion spread (marmite, no. Jam, no. Peanut butter, no. Butter, no. Tzatziki, HELL YEAH) and a ridiculously bugged interface message saying that my people will love me so much as soon as I pick it that I shall be crowned... God. And God's father. And God's Father's Father. And God's Hamst- DOWN WITH THE INFIDEL
Then the sound of a cat stuck in a dark cave hits me, and I know who has come to glorious Macedonia (yadayadayada): Meet Ateas, Khan of Scythians. It seems they bury people but we really shouldn't touch the graves, lest I get punched in the eye. and stomach. and groin. and am then hacked to death. And thrown out to see the sea. (another pune, or play on words)
also, I found Hellenism. ALL HAIL ZEUS!
And then I hear a strange noise that shall forever ring in our hearts as "slightly foreign, maybe chinese, but can't, you know, BE chinese because they're not in the civ selection".
This game has a knack for giving countries the appropriate religions. Because I meet Zoroastrian Darius the I, who had his tune changed by Chiyu.
Blessed shall be the day when I kick him and his Music in a pit. A pit filled to the brim with alpha course pamphlets.
He says I am upstart, the cheek! But as we check the scoreboard...
DAAAAYUMMMM.
he has a score of 90. We are the 87.
and I'm the Αυτοκράτορας όλων των Μακεδόνων (should be Emperor of all Macedonians, but you know google translate
)
Realizing my, er-hem, "friends" Ateas and Darius don't speak Greek I'll have to translate it...
so for Ateas, I am tha Император всех македонцев, and for Darius, I am the squiggly l- oops. I mean امپراتور از مقدونیه تمام. (yeah, squiggly lines)*
And then, we meet Public Enemy number 0.5! He wears some sort of helmet and breastplate and thinks he's soooo special. He's the replacement for Alexander. He's commander of the fleet. He's Asatru (SMITETH THE INFIDEL, CRYETH OUT THE POSTER OF CHRONICKLES! (and Chrodimes, and Chroeuros, and Chrofrancs, and Chrorubles, and Chrodollars (Australian), and Chrodolloars (US), and Chrocanadiancurrencynoonecanrememberithinkitsadollar)) He's..
*coughs and tries to say the name, choking in the process*
Epaminodas.
*DUN-DUNNNNNNNNN, with thunder in the background*
The "superior" battle tactician.
*repeat above step*
And he lives far away from us.
*repeat step again*
WILL YOU CUT IT OUT, WHOEVER IS DOING THAT?
*repeat step again, then shot is heard and Zeus comes tumbling from Olympus*
O SHI-
whatever. Enough for today.
Next on Civ'eds mod test: How long until someone rescues that cat in the cellar, chariots: are they useful outside the circus and Does the world end in 0 AD? Top Philosopher Plato finds out.
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*In case you are wondering, the language for Ateas is Russian, and the one for Darius Persian or Farsi.
I'll add the pics later, you'll have to imagine the glorious two cities in your mind first.
(also, I add a note stating which user got which city. NO QUESTIONS)
p)
oh, how I missed your stories 
