6K Man
Bureaucrat
<a faint buzzing noise is heard. Winston Churchill opens his eyes.>
What is this place? Reminds me of a time in Bechuanaland...
Winston?
Hmmm?
You're not in Bechuanaland. You're leading England in her darkest hour.
It's her darkest hour, already?
Afraid so.
But we don't have any cities yet?
No. Or electricity. Hence, "darkest"
Right. Let's get on that. Who are you, anyway?
*clears throat* Nancy Witcher Langhorne Astor, the Viscountess Astor. I shall be your domestic, economic, cultural and science advisor. You may address me as Lady Astor, or Milady or Ma'am if you prefer.
Quite so. But did you not say, Mrs. Astor, that I am leading England? And if you must insist on formal titles, kindly refer to me as Sir Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill, KG, OM, CH, TD, PCc, DL, FRS, RA. A considerably longer title than yours, what?
Lady Astor (LA): *grumbles* Very well, we shall proceed on an informal basis. Our scouts have prepared a map for your review, to aid in choosing a location upon which to found London.
Churchill (C): Great Scott! What a location!
Lady Astor: Yes, it seems this is what is called a cooked start, Winston.
Churchill: Splendid!
Lady Astor: Before you get too excited, Winston, bear in mind that if the start wasn't cooked, England wouldn't stand a chance.
Churchill: Oh. *beat* So, we're surrounded by lush, fertile land. Any suggestions as to where we should build our first settlement?
Lady Astor: I recommend that we build on top of this barren, rocky hill, Winston.
Churchill: You're kidding, right?
Lady Astor: *eyeroll* No. You'll see why, later.
Churchill: Very well, harridan.
<London is founded>
Churchill: Now, I must speak with our military. You there, soldier!
GAH!
Who are you?
Soldier: I'm Monty, Sir Winston.
Churchill: Monty?!!? I was warned about you, off camera... and told that I would recognize you by the ridiculous hat. And that you show off your nipples. You Mesoamerican chaps have a thing for nipples, I gather.
Monty: *looking down* My nipples are under my uniform. And this hat is called a beret.
Churchill: A beraaaaayyyyy? Are you French?
Monty: No, Sir Winston. I am Monty, your military advisor, field commander, and aficionado of marching.
Churchill: Not Monty as in Montezuma, then?
Monty: No, Sir Winston. My full name is Field Marshal Bernard Law Montgomery, The Viscount Montgomery of Alamein, KG, GCB, DSO, PC, DL.
Churchill: Ugh, another title. Monty it is, then. This might get confusing.
Monty: Your orders, sir?
Churchill: Go exploring.
Monty: Right-o.
Churchill: Since we can't farm rocks, we'll need to find some way to feed the English people, and "Rock and chips" doesn't seem too appetizing. Let's see about improving those Fish-
Greetings, Sir Winston.
Churchill: And who might you be?
Your Minister of Production, Prime Minister.
Churchill: Prime Minister? Simmer down, we can't even call this a proper Monarchy yet. What are your qualifications?
I overhauled your war production in a time of crisis. Don't you remember, Sir Winston?
Churchill: Sounds a lot like you're talking about events that haven't happened yet. Very well, time-traveling Minister of Production, what other qualifications do you have? What does publishing have to do with production?
I invented the Page 3 Girl, and tranformed that invention into a pornographic publishing empire.
Churchill: The what, and a whaaaa? Paper and Printing Press won't be discovered for another 4000 years or so, you know. So what should I call you?
Lord Beaverbook, at your service, Sir Winston.
Churchill: Great. This thread will be closed before it gets started. *sighs* Could you build some fishing boats, as I was trying to say two puns ago. And maybe a mine on the hill by that river?
What is this place? Reminds me of a time in Bechuanaland...
Winston?
Hmmm?
You're not in Bechuanaland. You're leading England in her darkest hour.
It's her darkest hour, already?
Afraid so.
But we don't have any cities yet?
No. Or electricity. Hence, "darkest"
Right. Let's get on that. Who are you, anyway?
*clears throat* Nancy Witcher Langhorne Astor, the Viscountess Astor. I shall be your domestic, economic, cultural and science advisor. You may address me as Lady Astor, or Milady or Ma'am if you prefer.
Quite so. But did you not say, Mrs. Astor, that I am leading England? And if you must insist on formal titles, kindly refer to me as Sir Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill, KG, OM, CH, TD, PCc, DL, FRS, RA. A considerably longer title than yours, what?
Lady Astor (LA): *grumbles* Very well, we shall proceed on an informal basis. Our scouts have prepared a map for your review, to aid in choosing a location upon which to found London.
Spoiler :
Churchill (C): Great Scott! What a location!
Lady Astor: Yes, it seems this is what is called a cooked start, Winston.
Churchill: Splendid!
Lady Astor: Before you get too excited, Winston, bear in mind that if the start wasn't cooked, England wouldn't stand a chance.
Churchill: Oh. *beat* So, we're surrounded by lush, fertile land. Any suggestions as to where we should build our first settlement?
Lady Astor: I recommend that we build on top of this barren, rocky hill, Winston.
Churchill: You're kidding, right?
Lady Astor: *eyeroll* No. You'll see why, later.
Churchill: Very well, harridan.
<London is founded>
Churchill: Now, I must speak with our military. You there, soldier!
GAH!
Who are you?
Soldier: I'm Monty, Sir Winston.
Churchill: Monty?!!? I was warned about you, off camera... and told that I would recognize you by the ridiculous hat. And that you show off your nipples. You Mesoamerican chaps have a thing for nipples, I gather.
Monty: *looking down* My nipples are under my uniform. And this hat is called a beret.
Churchill: A beraaaaayyyyy? Are you French?
Monty: No, Sir Winston. I am Monty, your military advisor, field commander, and aficionado of marching.
Churchill: Not Monty as in Montezuma, then?
Monty: No, Sir Winston. My full name is Field Marshal Bernard Law Montgomery, The Viscount Montgomery of Alamein, KG, GCB, DSO, PC, DL.
Spoiler :
Churchill: Ugh, another title. Monty it is, then. This might get confusing.
Monty: Your orders, sir?
Churchill: Go exploring.
Monty: Right-o.
Churchill: Since we can't farm rocks, we'll need to find some way to feed the English people, and "Rock and chips" doesn't seem too appetizing. Let's see about improving those Fish-
Greetings, Sir Winston.
Churchill: And who might you be?
Your Minister of Production, Prime Minister.
Churchill: Prime Minister? Simmer down, we can't even call this a proper Monarchy yet. What are your qualifications?
I overhauled your war production in a time of crisis. Don't you remember, Sir Winston?
Churchill: Sounds a lot like you're talking about events that haven't happened yet. Very well, time-traveling Minister of Production, what other qualifications do you have? What does publishing have to do with production?
I invented the Page 3 Girl, and tranformed that invention into a pornographic publishing empire.
Churchill: The what, and a whaaaa? Paper and Printing Press won't be discovered for another 4000 years or so, you know. So what should I call you?
Lord Beaverbook, at your service, Sir Winston.
Churchill: Great. This thread will be closed before it gets started. *sighs* Could you build some fishing boats, as I was trying to say two puns ago. And maybe a mine on the hill by that river?