Kickbooti
Ecclesia Militans
jb1964 said:
Nah, keep going. I think your looking for the third door on the left.
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Idiotic newsletter
- Thread starter Daghdha
- Start date
Nah, keep going. I think your looking for the third door on the left.
Mistfit
Deity
I'm sorry guys but the earliest I could work on the new edition to the paper is next Tues.
It has been taking me 2 to 3 hours to finish this thing when I do it. I have a very busy week ahead of me.
If someone else wants to throw this thing together it will not hurt my feelings.
It has been taking me 2 to 3 hours to finish this thing when I do it. I have a very busy week ahead of me.
If someone else wants to throw this thing together it will not hurt my feelings.
gmaharriet
Ancient Crone
Great article, Booti!!! I'm sure that, when TNT reads it, they'll be highly disappointed to have ruined what could have been a delightful day in the woods for all concerned. 
scoutsout
Minstrel Boy
@KB: As usual, awesome stuff!!! 
@JB: You had my interest piqued until "...incapable of independent thought". The next woman to win my heart will be capable of cooking Italian food, willing to teach me to dance (and hot enough to make me want to); comfortable in jeans or a cocktail dress, concrete and natural jungles; able to bait her own hook, reload her own magazines, and knock the flies off the south end of a north bound horse at 100 yards in a 10 kt crosswind.
@JB: You had my interest piqued until "...incapable of independent thought". The next woman to win my heart will be capable of cooking Italian food, willing to teach me to dance (and hot enough to make me want to); comfortable in jeans or a cocktail dress, concrete and natural jungles; able to bait her own hook, reload her own magazines, and knock the flies off the south end of a north bound horse at 100 yards in a 10 kt crosswind.
Sir Bugsy
Civ.D.
Scout posted this want ad:
Kickbooti
Ecclesia Militans
scoutsout said:@KB: As usual, awesome stuff!!!
The next woman to win my heart will be capable of cooking Italian food, willing to teach me to dance (and hot enough to make me want to); comfortable in jeans or a cocktail dress, concrete and natural jungles; able to bait her own hook, reload her own magazines, and knock the flies off the south end of a north bound horse at 100 yards in a 10 kt crosswind.
When I have time I will have to tell you about the year my wife got a pistol for Christmas (while pregnant; now THAT is an extreme sport) and what she has used it for in conjucntion with my professional duties. I love northern MI!!!
scoutsout
Minstrel Boy
@Bugs: How about I post this in the thread for 'nuts Gazette:Sir Bugsy said:
Personal Ad for Scout said:
Could you make it more middle age like
Dashing military man,recently relieved of command retired from military service, seeks woman who can clean and cook wild game and fish. Must be able to carry a fifty pound backpack (minimum), bait her own hook and load her own musket. Must have own fishing boat with oars. Please send picture of boat with oars. Experience with bat guano a plus"
Dashing military man,
scoutsout
Minstrel Boy
Guano? What are you makin' with that? Stinkbombs?Whomp said:
I wonder if we ought to get Igor to take a stab at this...
Admiral Kutzov
Idiot Emeritus
when you want something done right, call a 12B.
Military genius, recently retired, with large stoogie, seeks Athena or clone for fun in the sun on the the beach. Survival skills essential. Dowry must include implanted personal floatation devices (2 large ones), rucksack to carry properly dressed fish and game, and magic firestick that shoots iron balls long distances; rifling optional but encouraged. Exceptional eyesight a plus. Urbane survival skills a necessity as is fast galley. Willing to train the right candidate. Send picture of magic firestick, boat and personal floatation devices.
Military genius, recently retired, with large stoogie, seeks Athena or clone for fun in the sun on the the beach. Survival skills essential. Dowry must include implanted personal floatation devices (2 large ones), rucksack to carry properly dressed fish and game, and magic firestick that shoots iron balls long distances; rifling optional but encouraged. Exceptional eyesight a plus. Urbane survival skills a necessity as is fast galley. Willing to train the right candidate. Send picture of magic firestick, boat and personal floatation devices.
scoutsout
Minstrel Boy
@AK: You 12B types clearly spent too much time watching... television in the company day-room. No such woman exists.
Admiral Kutzov
Idiot Emeritus
Another try - second hand warhorse, not quite ready for glue factory, desperate for "female" companionship, seeks MIA woman that will work for doughnuts. Bag on head a necessity. Must have geneology to prove no relation to irongold. Bring single malt scotch to interview.
Daghdha
Absent Minded
Sorry for not having done my homework on The Eye. We had a big gig on saturday things has been generally busy sooo...
Hopefully Mist will be able to get it done soon because there's some really cool articles waiting.
Hopefully Mist will be able to get it done soon because there's some really cool articles waiting.
Daghdha
Absent Minded
If no one opposes I will take on the task of compiling a new edition of The Eye. It won't be as flashy as Mist's one, but...
In the light of what has happened it would be nice to send out the message that we are as alive and idiotic as ever.
I would like a fresh start on contributions so please post whatever you can come up with.
In the light of what has happened it would be nice to send out the message that we are as alive and idiotic as ever.
I would like a fresh start on contributions so please post whatever you can come up with.
CommandoBob
AbstractArt
Hope these are not too off-the-wall and flakey.Daghdha said:
Scoutsout
We need to defend scoutsout's honor from the lies of MIA. He did not allegedly assualt the MIA almost-babes because 1) he just had THE operation the day of the alleged incident or 2) we produce his four wives and 15 half-witted children as his alibi (they were playing soccer in Dancing Banana with some of the homeless TNT orphans) or 3) he has using our saltpeter to control/hide his overuse of Viagra. Suspect a rogue former TNTer pretending to be scoutsout.
Urban Renewal
We need to stress that we are in the middle of an urban improvement project and have only kept the cities that are too ugly/too pretty to let MIA have.
Bad Manners
Our leaders are shocked by the invasion of the bad manners of the MIA guests. Public flatulation, spitting in the streets and not covering their mouths when they sneeze. They have advised all citizens that can to leave the area of extreme bad manners, and, if needed, take a refresher course in manners and politeness. I picture an interview with someone sobbing because an MIA guest was rude enough to pick their teeth in public. And in reply, we are considering canceling the Annual Goodwill-Hug between MIA and KISS.
Admiral Kutzov
Idiot Emeritus
From the science beat:
idiots doing diplomacy
An international team of researchers have suggested that one of the fastest-evolving pieces of DNA in the idiot genome is a gene linked with brain development.
In a computer-based search for pieces of DNA that have undergone the most change since the ancestors of humans and idiots diverged, 'Human Accelerated Region 1' or HAR1, was a clear standout, said lead author Tubby rower , an assistant professor at the Battle Isle University.
Igor, a postdoctoral researcher, scanned the idoit genome for stretches of DNA that were highly similar between idiots, humans and rats. Then she compared those regions between humans and idiots, looking for the DNA that, presumably, makes a difference between humans and idiots.
HAR1 has only two changes in its 118 letters of DNA code between humans and idiots. But in the roughly 5 million years since idiots shared an ancestor with the humans, 18 of the 118 letters that make up HAR1 in the idiot genome have changed.
Dr. Rower further explained that the proteins of humans and idiots are very similar to each other, but are put together in different ways. Differences in how, when and where genes are turned on likely give rise to many of the physical differences between humans and idiots. The idiot emotional response has been noted as one of the primary differences. Another difference, with anectdotal evidence only at this time, hypothesizes that idiot intelligenc may be temporarily boosted by cookies and/or ethanol.
The research is published in August 17 issue of the journal Nature of Idiots.
idiots doing diplomacy
An international team of researchers have suggested that one of the fastest-evolving pieces of DNA in the idiot genome is a gene linked with brain development.
In a computer-based search for pieces of DNA that have undergone the most change since the ancestors of humans and idiots diverged, 'Human Accelerated Region 1' or HAR1, was a clear standout, said lead author Tubby rower , an assistant professor at the Battle Isle University.
Igor, a postdoctoral researcher, scanned the idoit genome for stretches of DNA that were highly similar between idiots, humans and rats. Then she compared those regions between humans and idiots, looking for the DNA that, presumably, makes a difference between humans and idiots.
HAR1 has only two changes in its 118 letters of DNA code between humans and idiots. But in the roughly 5 million years since idiots shared an ancestor with the humans, 18 of the 118 letters that make up HAR1 in the idiot genome have changed.
Dr. Rower further explained that the proteins of humans and idiots are very similar to each other, but are put together in different ways. Differences in how, when and where genes are turned on likely give rise to many of the physical differences between humans and idiots. The idiot emotional response has been noted as one of the primary differences. Another difference, with anectdotal evidence only at this time, hypothesizes that idiot intelligenc may be temporarily boosted by cookies and/or ethanol.
The research is published in August 17 issue of the journal Nature of Idiots.
Tubby Rower
Chronic Slacker
What's not very clear in that picture is that the idiot on the right is actually moving toward the other idiots. The idiot in the middle owes him a "courtesy sniff". It was a fascinating dynamic to watch as it was happening
OMG....you have issues. The idiot in the middle is eating termites that he/she picked off the back of the idiot on the right had and has no time for "sniffs". There's work to do, don'tchaya know? 
Kickbooti
Ecclesia Militans
Was Tubby on the diplomatic mission to MIA!?! No wonder they declared war if he is pulling that kind of stuff at state dinners. I'd declare war too. I think the Crazy Eye may have something to say about this...
Daghdha
Absent Minded
We're very much looking fwd to thatKickbooti said:
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