Opposites

[jeps]

While watching a smart-aleck child as a favour, he decided to only do things in opposites. However, when I started to use them, he would literally translate them: ie Don't Sit Down would mean Do Stand Up. When I switched to that, he went back to meanings: ie Dont Stand Up = Do Stand Up. So no matter what I did, it wouldn't work. So my question to you: what do you use, and what ways are there to counteract this?

 

[amadeus]

Use both and mix him up.

 

[Godwynn]

I would use a belt.

 

[The Yankee]

I would use a belt.

I think I would too after about five minutes of that....

 

[jeps]

I lasted about 10 before I just told him to stop it or go to bed...at 4 pm.

 

[Pasi Nurminen]

I would use a belt.

I agree. Grow a pair and threaten to beat the little sod. Unless, of course, his parents wouldn't allow it, in which case don't leave any visible marks.

 

[Godwynn]

I agree. Grow a pair and threaten to beat the little sod. Unless, of course, his parents wouldn't allow it, in which case don't leave any visible marks.

We could always use a Hot Pocket.

 

[Pasi Nurminen]

We could always use a Hot Pocket.

...what?

 

[Godwynn]

...what?

A thread a year or two back by Commie #4522. He was babysitting a brat and he shoved a red hot Hot Pocket in the kids faced and burned him.

 

[The Yankee]

"You not hungry for Opposite....you hungry for....Hot Pocket..."

I suppose you could also ignore the bugger, but if they're the type that would charge your shelves using an umbrella as a spear, then that wouldn't be the best route.

 

[Ansar]

...what?

In the words of amadeus,

The goggles...the do nothing!

Hilarious thread.

Edit: Belt sounds good to me.

 

[Aramazd]

I'm going to support the belt.

 

[WillJ]

First option, of course.

For example, this kid, who obviously "is stupid," is not the opposite of a kid who is "not smart." They are, in fact, the same.

 

[Tomoyo]

The only option you have to speak only with clauses that have odd numbers of words, that, when reversed, would change the meaning of the sentence.

 

[aronnax]

Talk in Gibberish to confuse the little brat.

 

[Eukaryote]

Another supporter of the belt here.

 

[JohnRM]

No advice for you, here.

 

[scy12]

I will not beat you up until you beg me to stop , no i will never do such a thing.

 

[Narz]

I would use a belt.

As anti-spanking as I am I couldn't help but chuckle at that.

 

[JonnyB]

Tell him "Don't not stop never not standing down"

Or grab his arm and start smacking his face with his hand while saying "Stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself, oh you're still doing the opposite of what I say? stop hitting yourself"