So, you wake up in the morning and realize you're in love with your best friend...

[Tenochtitlan]

Tell her, you only live once. Besides, maybe she's in love with you too. You're not risking the friendship by telling her anyway.

 

[Kozmos]

I hate when this happens.....just hurt yourself a lot by physically injuring yourself everytime you think about boning her.

 

[Cheezy the Wiz]

So what were the good news again?
Why I have feeling this whole thing is labeled with "BAD IDEA" all over it. And you will be labeled after this with "handle with care".

I know, that's why I'm treading carefully, or at least trying to.

As you are friends I would suggest you talk about dating with her and how she sees the subject, after gentle discussion you can move if the signs are right to the question whether she's interest or not.

You know, I hadn't thought of it that way, I was thinking until now more in the ball park of just throwing it all on the table. Perhaps this is the way to go.

I don't want to sound too rude but you should really try to get to know why the ex and she broke-up. I fear that woman has "spoiled goods" written all over her, which might be partly a bad thing and yet again good thing for you depending from various reasons especially how you want the possible relationship end up being.

They had been dating for two years; she wanted kids, he didn't, and they went their ways. But they play this "we're on hiatus" game, it's mostly the guy; and go off and date other people and stuff, and all they do is piss and moan about stuff the other person does. " Not at the right point in our lives to get back together" is the words the guy uses. I'm ready to tell them, both being my friends: " it's been a year, youy two need to decide what the hell you want, because you can't play this game for the rest of your life," that would solve my dilemma right there, too, at least, part of it.
They do NOT live together, or hang out, but they do talk, sometimes.

How I want the relationship to end up being? I don't date for the sake of dating. I want it to result in marriage. Eventually. What I mean is, I don't believe in 'flings,' that's probably a better way of saying it.

But I would imagine your own perceptions about her are probably flawed as you might be quite seriously fallen for her.

That's something else that worries me. Perhaps I see what I want to see, because of my feelings for her. The reality of the situation may be quite different from what I percieve it to be.

 

[Kozmos]

They had been dating for two years; she wanted kids, he didn't, and they went their ways. But they play this "we're on hiatus" game, it's mostly the guy; and go off and date other people and stuff, and all they do is piss and moan about stuff the other person does. " Not at the right point in our lives to get back together" is the words the guy uses. I'm ready to tell them, both being my friends: " it's been a year, youy two need to decide what the hell you want, because you can't play this game for the rest of your life," that would solve my dilemma right there, too, at least, part of it.
They do NOT live together, or hang out, but they do talk, sometimes.

No no no! Dont touch that girl, even with a laser pointer over computers on the internet which are seperated by the Atlantic.

Quickly, punch a wall right now with all your strength. Barefisted! Pain will deter you.

 

[warpus]

That's something else that worries me. Perhaps I see what I want to see, because of my feelings for her. The reality of the situation may be quite different from what I percieve it to be.

Whatever your instincts are telling you is probably fairly close to the truth.

 

[skadistic]

9 times out of 10 I'd say go for it but your headed for a bad deal. Givin her propensaty for flings I see you putting alot more emotional energy into this then she would. If you want to just hit it for awhile you'd be golden. A relationship would be detramental to you pshycy and posibly your friendships.

 

[Evil Tyrant]

I must say this does not sound like a good idea to me. For much the same reasons as C~G.

 

[civdood]

take girl to be wife, it is true she will say yes to good man and be so happy. ask with big smile and huge flower.

 

[Masquerouge]

You might lose two friendships instead of one.

There's a third option - ask your friend-who's-the-ex whether he's cool with you hooking up with his ex.

Yeah, I would do that first.

 

[C~G]

I agree with skadistic.
The chances are dim for success especially in long term but then again I have heard even more strange scenarios happening.

This can fairly quickly turn into your private operation a la Iraq if you aren't certain what you are doing. But I don't want to discourage you, just want to say we're all suckers for that kind of love affair which makes us wish them to be true more than we really should when we are personally in question.

I advice you to walk, not to run and never let yourself forgetting the goal you have set for yourself. Rabbit and the turtle, you see.

Best of luck with that, bro.

 

[cegman]

I'd say NO NO NO anyone who says yes doesn't care about you. Your friend still sees her as his this will lead to a bad situation. You probably have an age issue here too... She wants kids Do You? I want to say forget it but that doesn't work so mabye go check out the babe thread or find a really good porno so she isn't on your mind when you go to bed

 

[Neonanocyborgasm]

What's a guy to do?


I'm normally the kind of guy who would say "well tell her moron!" but this case is different. You see, not only is she my best friend, but she's also the ex of a good friend of mine. That's where the situation gets hairier, for reasons you can see.

My dilemma is that I don't know which is more valuable to me: her friendship while I keep all this bottled up and under control, or telling her, and most likely losing my best friend, but the conflict inside me is resolved, and I can go on with my life.

Why can't this stuff be simple, you know, cut and dry?

I have an easy answer for you: don't tell her. The reason is simple. If you are already good friends, you will never be lovers. So there's no point in pursuing the impossible.

 

[Ramius75]

tell her before she get married and the groom is not u !! Just do it !!

 

[Urederra]

So, you wake up in the morning and realize you're in love with your best friend...

AFAIK, it is called morning glory, and it is quite common.

jokes appart, what The tropper says. oh, and it is not a good idea to have your significant other working in the same place as you. So, I would say it is not a good idea.

But, on the other hand, love is blindfolded and I am very bad as love counsellor.

 

[jameson]

Nanocyborgasm has it right, as I learned from painful experience.
It's a disaster waiting to happen. Go find some other young lady to fancy as fast as you can and you might just survive.

 

[punkbass2000]

The important thing to remember here is that there is no correct answer. You will never know what is going to happen tomorrow. Are the odds slim? Yes, but that's generally seems to be the deal with love. That's part of the allure. This will not be the last trial you face; not even close. Many a dragon must be slain before the damsel is won.

 

[Zarn]

Tell her, moron! (I don't think you are a moron)

If you feel that way, bottling it up and pretending nothing is going on is lying to yourself and her.

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

Though, I might wind up playing TR to his Colombia, and just do it whether he likes it or not!

I have nothing to add to the discussion except that this is the best analogy ever.

 

[JerichoHill]

What's a guy to do?


I'm normally the kind of guy who would say "well tell her moron!" but this case is different. You see, not only is she my best friend, but she's also the ex of a good friend of mine. That's where the situation gets hairier, for reasons you can see.

My dilemma is that I don't know which is more valuable to me: her friendship while I keep all this bottled up and under control, or telling her, and most likely losing my best friend, but the conflict inside me is resolved, and I can go on with my life.

Why can't this stuff be simple, you know, cut and dry?

To be honest, most of the time its a what if infatuation. I'd see if its a constantcy. That she is the ex of a good friends means nothing. She is an ex, and thusly fair game.

 

[JerichoHill]

I don't know, apparently my interpretation of a woman's 'hints' is seriously flawed, as per personal experience.

She is 23, I am 18, going to be 19 here in about two months.

She is also my manager at work, but it's just a Ruby Tuesday, if all it took was to leave Ruby's so it wouldn't be 'against company policy' (which she's shown disregard for before, having dated another employee once upon a time), I would do it in a heartbeat.

I know women usually go for older men rather than younger men, but the guy I mentioned above was only a year older than me. If it's any more of an argument for the age thing, most people meet me and think I'm 20-21, before I tell them.

Based on this information, I would say you should just let it pass. Its rare for a relationship to work out so early (you are both very young)

I've seen friends into relationship happen, but its when people are older and more settled into who they are. You guys are still learning (well, we all are, but youre young).

I an engaged to a girl who was a friend of mine for awhile (and I dated other girls while I knew her). I did not have to guess if she liked me, her actions let me know. If she is interested she will show it and it will be obvious. Thusly, since you cannot pick up if she is or not, I would wager she is not.