Turner's News of the Weird

[The Yankee]

Not to belabor the obvious... but Hillary IS a woman, after all... would you expect a woman on one of those baseball cards....?

eBay

Apparently there is a Hillary card. For some reason, it wasn't included in that slideshow.

 

[Bamspeedy]

Two machete-wielding men try to rob a club. The problem? There was 50 bikers in the club at the time.....One robber ends up hog-tied, the other in the hospital.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/asiapcf/02/28/biker.meeting/index.html

Spoiler :

Hapless robbers target biker meeting

Story Highlights
-Two masked, machete-wielding robbers burst into club and empty cash registers
-50 bikers meeting in adjacent room hear commotion and intervene
-One would-be robber ends up hogtied; the other in hospital
-Police arrest men and charge both with attempted armed robbery

By CNN's Saeed Ahmed

(CNN) -- Two masked and machete-wielding men who barged into a club in Sydney, Australia, couldn't have picked a worse night for their robbery -- a monthly meeting of bikers.

About 50 burly bikers fought back with tables and chairs -- pretty much anything that wasn't bolted down. One would-be robber was tied up; the other in the hospital.

Police arrested both.

"These guys were absolutely dumb as bricks," Jerry Vancornewal, leader of the bikers, told CNN Thursday. "I can't believe they saw all the bikes parked up front and they were so stupid that they walked past in."

Vancornewal and his buddies were at the Regents Park Sporting and Community Club in Sydney when the two men wearing ski masks stormed in Wednesday night. They yelled at patrons to drop to the floor as they emptied cash registers at the bar.

Hearing the commotion from an adjacent room, Vancornewal and his pals with the Southern Cross Cruiser motorcycle club stomped through to the bar area to intervene.

"They (the robbers) thought they had the upper advantage with their knives and their machetes," Jim Webb, night supervisor of the club, told CNN. "They didn't expect to run into a bunch of guys carrying chairs and tables."

One of the would-be robbers crashed through a plate-glass door and jumped off a balcony.

"All he had to do was push the button and it automatically opened," Webb quipped.

New South Wales police said they arrested the 20-year-old man a short distance away.

The second man made a break for it through the club's service entrance, but the bikers tackled him near a neighbor's fence.

"We just grabbed him, crash-tackled him to the ground, hogtied him with electrical wire and left him for the cops," Vancornewal said.

Police confirmed in a statement that club patrons subdued the second man until officers arrived, but did not provide additional details. The suspect turned out to be a 16-year-old boy.

Both would-be robbers were charged with attempted armed robbery and "face disguised with intent to commit indictable offense," police said.

A third person, who was waiting in a getaway car, took off when the bikers threw pieces of furniture at him, Webb said. Police have not located him.

The Regents Park Sporting and Community Club is a place where locals come to enjoy drinks and take part in various games: cricket, soccer, lawn bowling. The biking enthusiasts meet there once a month to plan rides and other club activities.

In the last year or so, criminals have struck the club about 10 times, Webb said. And Wednesday night's incident, while unusual, wasn't the most memorable.

"We have these old bingo players and they are really serious about their games," Webb explained. "They do not like to be interrupted."

When robbers barged in one evening and announced that they were holding up the place, the players turned around and testily told them to be quiet.

"They were making it difficult for the players to hear the numbers being called," Webb said.

Kids try to rob cop shop

A 12-year-old and a 14-year-old are accused of trying to rob a police substation. WPBF's Bob Kaple reports.

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/crime/2008/03/14/kaple.kids.rob.WPBF

Make sure you get up once away from playing Civ, or you might literally get stuck to your seat!

Two years in the bathroom
Officers in Kansas are investigating a woman they say had to be pried off her boyfriend's toilet. KWCH reports.

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2008/03/13/marshall.stuck.on.toilet.new.kwch

 

[Enkidu Warrior]

Two years in the bathroom
Officers in Kansas are investigating a woman they say had to be pried off her boyfriend's toilet. KWCH reports.

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2008/03/13/marshall.stuck.on.toilet.new.kwch

Two years on the toilet. I find that a little bit hard to believe.

 

[West 36]

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2008/03/13/marshall.stuck.on.toilet.new.kwch

Cop: "he should have called much, much sooner"
Ya think? I'm thinking. If I had a girlfriend in the bathroom 2 years, and stuck to the toilet for a month, I'd probably dump her. But this guy didn't seem to have a problem with it. I wonder what he got out of it!..

 

[Enkidu Warrior]

What did he do when he needed to use the toilet himself?!

 

[brennan]

Forget Zionist conspiracies, get a load of the insidious Ozzie plot for world domination:

"I am pleased to announce that Australia, the largest island in the world, has just been dramatically increased in size," said the resources minister, Martin Ferguson. He said the new territory was 10 times the size of New Zealand and 20 times the size of the UK.

Where will it end?
BBC

 

[CaptainF]

With all the marijuana threads going around...I figured this one would be appropriate.

BBC

Spoiler :

Wade Churchward, 28, paid a late-night visit to a Wellington petrol station to buy chocolates and crisps.

When - with the sweets half-eaten - he realised he had no money, he offered the cashier 12g of marijuana and a pipe for smoking it.

But he failed to notice the police car outside and the officer next in line.

The policeman promptly arrested the mechanic who, the Dominion Post said, had been drinking.

"Wha? Nah ossifer I sotally tober!"

 

[Julian Delphiki]

That had it's own thread already ^.

 

[Narz]

Russia's Garry Kasparov attacked by flying phallus!

 

[ori]

This thread is in urgent need of reviving

New ways of saving money: exchange soldiers for dummies

Military berated for use of ‘dummy guards’ in Taoyuan
By Rich Chang and Jimmy Chuang
STAFF REPORTERS, WITH AGENCIES
Wednesday, Jul 23, 2008, Page 1

The military came under fire from legislators yesterday after it was revealed that dummy soldiers had been used to stand guard at an army base in Taoyuan County.

The storm of criticism came after Chinese-language media reported that an artillery unit had posted dummy soldiers at guard posts at the army’s Sixth Legion Artillery Command Headquarters, located at Tungshih Base in Taoyuan County’s Pingchen Township (平&#37806, raising worries over a possible shortage of manpower.

Democratic Progressive Party Legislator Tsai Huang-liang (蔡煌&#29807 said the military’s use of dummies to stand guard at a military base was “a joke” and asked whether the army would also send dummies if it had to fight a war.

 

[Mise]

Potter star used to crack crime

A wanted poster featuring Robbie Coltrane is being used by police in New Zealand to try to catch a teenage burglar who resembles the actor.


The poster has been distributed around the local area

Detectives stressed the Cracker and Harry Potter star is not suspected of any crimes, but said the thief looks like a 16-year-old version of him.

The poster has been distributed to homes in the Christchurch area of the South Island.

New Zealand law bans the publication of pictures of juvenile criminals.

Below the heading 'Wanted' is the picture of Coltrane, underneath which are the words 'Active burglar in this neighbourhood'.

Bicycle burglar

The text below explains that the photo is of Coltrane and continues: "Robbie Coltrane is not the burglar but imagine him aged 16 with lank greasy hair and you have the picture.

"He is 16-years-old, lives locally, travels by bicycle and burgles houses in your street.

"He will break windows to gain entry and ransack the property targeting electronic items, cash and jewellery."

It explains the reason for the use of the Scottish star, who the New Zealand police describe as English.

"Because of the Children and Young Persons Act 1989 Police cannot show you a picture of the 16-year-old burglar operating in your neighbourhood," it states.

Residents reportedly welcomed the leaflets and praised the ingenuity of the police. Coltrane was unavailable for comment.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7548472.stm

 

[Xenocrates]

This one's wierd. Guess what happened, then read it and see if you were right:

http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=080811192637.nkspe7sd&show_article=1

How close were you?


Majestic 12 army manual (or maybe not ):

http://www.scribd.com/doc/14058/SO1-CLASSIFIED-ARMY-UFO-MANUAL-

So long, and thanks but no thanks, for all the fish:

http://www.practicalfishkeeping.co.uk/pfk/pages/blog.php?blogid=198

Birmingham:

http://blog.al.com/spotnews/2008/08/birmingham_england_officials_c.html

 

[Rik Meleet]

Dutch driver survives being hit by two trains

Police say a Dutch man survived his car being struck in quick succession by two trains travelling in opposite directions.

They say the car was crossing the tracks when it was struck by an eastbound train and dragged several dozen metres until it collided with a westbound train.

"It picked him up, so to speak, and the car was left back at the crossing," said police spokesperson Desiree Brabers.

The accident happened on Tuesday in the town of Dorst, 120km south of Amsterdam.

The driver (59) was taken to hospital in critical but stable condition.

"I guess you could say he had an angel looking out for him," Brabers said.

She said the cause of the accident was unknown but it appeared the man drove past a lowered crossing.

Dragged by the first train for 300 metres and then by the other train dragged back 300 metres back to the crossing. He's doing fine, by the way.

 

[Xenocrates]

Woman impaled on Hindu goddess

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/2559487/Woman-impaled-on-statue-of-Hindu-goddess.html

Night of the living dead zones:

http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2008-08/15/content_9337442.htm

 

[Xenocrates]

Nepal seeks new child goddess: must have voice like a duck

“It is inauspicious if the girl starts menstruating while serving as Kumari.”

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/asia/article4543113.ece

Yep, there's nothing worse than a menstruating duck-voiced goddess. That's my experience anyway.

 

[ori]

Polish engineers were left red-faced after building a railway tunnel that's too small for trains to fit through.

The mistake was discovered when inspectors measured the finished structure in Warsaw, Poland, and realized the tunnel was too low for trains to enter.

Rail bosses say the mix-up occured because the workers laying the tracks didn't talk to the team building the tunnel.

This reportedly isn't the first construction mistake for public transportation in Poland.

Recently a tunnel built to divert lorry traffic was built too low for lorries and last year two sections of a major motorway were built that would have missed each other by five miles and each one came to a dead end in the middle of the countryside.

 

[Dann]

Two-headed baby born in Bangladesh

Thousands of people gathered at a clinic in western Bangladesh see a double-headed baby boy born to a farm worker, media reports said.

The mass circulation newspaper Ittefaq quoted medical personnel in small town of Keshabpur, west of Dhaka as saying the baby had two pairs of eyes and ears and two noses.

Doctor Abdul Bari, who delivered the baby by Caesarian section, told reporters the child weighed four-and-a-half kilos. The baby had been named Kiron (Light) by his parents.

The daily said many people had been giving money to the mother, Putul Biswas, in exchange for blessings from the child.

DPA

http://www.smh.com.au/news/world/th...bangladesh-baby/2008/08/28/1219516605585.html

Picture:

Spoiler :

 

[GinandTonic]

A curious cow got her head stuck in a fly-tipped washing machine drum in a field at Higher Fraddon, St Columb, in Cornwall. The cow escaped injury after her ordeal thanks to the efforts of the RSPCA.

 

[mangxema]

Chinese Elephant Kicks Heroin Addiction

Big Brother, an Asian elephant hooked on heroin after drug traffickers fed him smack-laced bananas, is finally heading home after three years in rehab, Reuters quoted the Xinhua news agency as saying.

The bull, or male, was captured in the wild in 2005 in southwestern China by the bad guys, who controlled him with drugs.

Cops busted the gang a few months later, but then noticed the big beast was suffering from opiate withdrawal.

He was sent to a wildlife facility on the southern island of Hainan, where his treatment involved a year of methadone injections at five times the human dosage.

Big Brother, also known as Xiguang, was due to arrive at an animal park in Kunming, capital of Yunnan province, on Saturday.

 

[GinandTonic]

I demand a pic of Renton's pachyderm cousin.