- Joined
- Apr 4, 2010
- Messages
- 8,853
My exams are finally, finally over! ![[party]](/images/smilies/partytime.gif "Party [party]")
So...
Orders lock in Less Than 24 Hours
So...
Orders lock in Less Than 24 Hours
IdIOT: Shock and Terror
- Thread starter NinjaCow64
- Start date
Thorvald of Lym
A Little Sketchy
In These Dark and Scary Times, a Personal Appeal from His Loving Grace, Supreme Commander Tony Abbott
Loyal subjects, there's been a lot of misunderstandin' these past few months. When the government implemented common-sense security measures to safeguard this ace nation against foreign sedition (because remember, we were in a state of war), certain special-interest groups spat the dummy. But now they're not just givin' a gobful: they're downright aggro.
Oh, they've spouted off big mobs a' bull dust 'bout how yer pollies are a pack a' crooks 'n how yer all dipsticks to think this country's still freewhich is exactly what the bolshies said right before they seized power! Nope, even after we won the war, the war's still on, as those stroppy commie hangers-on conspire ta recreate the horror o' th' Middle East in yer own battler backyards!
Now more than ever, it's imperative that we all come togethoh [REDACTED] this, I told ya [REDACTED] not ta let [REDACTED] Katter proofread!! Try'na make me out into some sorta root rat! [REDACTED] children, Goebbels! [REDACTED] children!it's imperative that we stand as one nation under Abbott, to show the world that Oz will never let perverts and deviants subject us to Rafferty's rules.
As ta th' no-hopers skulkin' about in Never-Never: it's not too late to turn back ta God's lovin' path. This so-called resistancemade up a' wusses, bludgers 'n reffos who'll do anything but make a crusthave promised you all sorts of pies in the sky. But if they somehow overthrow the true blue government of the Lucky Country (and let's face it, they've Buckley's chance), rest assured their bodgy promises'll give you a right rort and next thing ya know, they'll be yiffin' yer donger 'til Kingdom Com[REDACTED] you, Katter!! Just [REDACTED] you!!
Remember, lads, each and every one of you has a choice: to stick with Tony Abbott, your mate, your guardian, who protected you from the homo commies, the lezbo giantesses, gives you rule of law and economic independence; or to throw your chips in with figjam drongos that spend all their time whinging and throwing a wobbly but don't have any plans for this country but to turn it cactus. And remember, the price of treason is death.
Oh, they've spouted off big mobs a' bull dust 'bout how yer pollies are a pack a' crooks 'n how yer all dipsticks to think this country's still freewhich is exactly what the bolshies said right before they seized power! Nope, even after we won the war, the war's still on, as those stroppy commie hangers-on conspire ta recreate the horror o' th' Middle East in yer own battler backyards!
Now more than ever, it's imperative that we all come togethoh [REDACTED] this, I told ya [REDACTED] not ta let [REDACTED] Katter proofread!! Try'na make me out into some sorta root rat! [REDACTED] children, Goebbels! [REDACTED] children!it's imperative that we stand as one nation under Abbott, to show the world that Oz will never let perverts and deviants subject us to Rafferty's rules.
As ta th' no-hopers skulkin' about in Never-Never: it's not too late to turn back ta God's lovin' path. This so-called resistancemade up a' wusses, bludgers 'n reffos who'll do anything but make a crusthave promised you all sorts of pies in the sky. But if they somehow overthrow the true blue government of the Lucky Country (and let's face it, they've Buckley's chance), rest assured their bodgy promises'll give you a right rort and next thing ya know, they'll be yiffin' yer donger 'til Kingdom Com[REDACTED] you, Katter!! Just [REDACTED] you!!
Remember, lads, each and every one of you has a choice: to stick with Tony Abbott, your mate, your guardian, who protected you from the homo commies, the lezbo giantesses, gives you rule of law and economic independence; or to throw your chips in with figjam drongos that spend all their time whinging and throwing a wobbly but don't have any plans for this country but to turn it cactus. And remember, the price of treason is death.
- Joined
- Apr 4, 2010
- Messages
- 8,853
Orders delayed for 24 hours OR until one really important set of orders get in (you know who you are), whichever comes first. And I'm not happy about it.
- Joined
- Apr 4, 2010
- Messages
- 8,853
Just to be clear, you can't "secretly" join the game. All joining must be public. If I say anything else on chat it is just me joking.
Thorvald of Lym
A Little Sketchy
So arya & SK are not, in fact, conspiring to pull a Dommy-esque LOLWAR?
- Joined
- Apr 4, 2010
- Messages
- 8,853
Thorvald of Lym
A Little Sketchy
Just checking. Once TanIOT'd, thrice shy... 
- Joined
- Apr 4, 2010
- Messages
- 8,853
Orders Softlocked
The Great Ficcon will be WoGed this turn.
The Great Ficcon will be WoGed this turn.
christos200
Never tell me the odds
I will join as Caucasus. Give me random territories in Caucasus. Led by Darth Revan renamed Agathios. Monarchy. More later.
Omega124
Challenging Fate
This was it. Everything I was training towards was about to culimate into this one moment. I could feel the energy roaring in the stadium, as I faced my final enemy in this grand tournament. This match will decide who will become the next Taekwondo champion and, by proxy, the leader of Korea.
I have come to far to lose in the grand finals. I haven't lost a single match, and I sure as hell wouldn't start now. Of course, my opponent probably thought the same way, so he was going to put up a greater fight than anyone before. I glare at him, and he glares back at me.
Before I could smash his head in right there, the dinstictive sound of a microphone turned on shrieked across the stadium. "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN," the voice cried out, "WELCOME TO THE GRAND FINALS OF THE FIRST FORGOTTEN TOURNAMENT"
I could hear the venue bursting in appaulse and cheer. It was time for the bloodshed. If everything goes right: the bloodshed of my foe. I get into my fighting stance.
"IN THE RED CORNER," the annnouner continued, "WEIGHING IN AT 92 KILOS, FROM SEOUL, PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR BAECHI BABO!"
I raise my fist in defiance as the crowd cheered. My name was called, and I was going to own it. I smirk at my foe in the other corner, and he only turns away and scoffs. I grimace; he won't be able to scoff at me when I'm through with his face.
"AND HIS OPPONENT, WEIGHING IN AT 89 KILOS, FROM BUSAN BUT NOW IN THE BLUE CORNER, PLEASE GIVE IT UP FOR JEONGSIN BAG-YAGJA"
If the crowd cheered for me, the audience erupted for my foe. He was the crowd favorite to win; his stupid, punchable face was apparently extremely attractive to women everywhere, somehow. I was getting enraged how no one recognized that I was the superior fighter. I'll show them all!
"LET"
I ready into my stance
"THE"
My foe does so as well.
"GAMES"
We stare right into each others eyes. Unmoving, unblinking. Waiting for the last word to be yelled out.
"BEGIN"
The crowd goes silent. Jeongsin, my hated foe, collaspes into a pile of his own blood. Behind him, a woman stood with her foot outstreched, dripping with blood. While her attire was certainly strange, traditional taekwondo pants and estensially nothing more than just a bra, perhaps the most percular thing was the fact her left eye was emitting purple smoke and was clearly mechanical.
She looked eerily familiar; I once saw a woman like that before the Japanese invaded Korea. I searched harder through my memories, back to the day of my parents' murder. Despite recently becoming a cop, I was powerless to save them. A woman was sadistically laughing over their corpses, and her eye was emititting the same smoke it was now.
I cry out, "JURI!"
It was the last thing I ever said,
---
I have come to far to lose in the grand finals. I haven't lost a single match, and I sure as hell wouldn't start now. Of course, my opponent probably thought the same way, so he was going to put up a greater fight than anyone before. I glare at him, and he glares back at me.
Before I could smash his head in right there, the dinstictive sound of a microphone turned on shrieked across the stadium. "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN," the voice cried out, "WELCOME TO THE GRAND FINALS OF THE FIRST FORGOTTEN TOURNAMENT"
I could hear the venue bursting in appaulse and cheer. It was time for the bloodshed. If everything goes right: the bloodshed of my foe. I get into my fighting stance.
"IN THE RED CORNER," the annnouner continued, "WEIGHING IN AT 92 KILOS, FROM SEOUL, PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR BAECHI BABO!"
I raise my fist in defiance as the crowd cheered. My name was called, and I was going to own it. I smirk at my foe in the other corner, and he only turns away and scoffs. I grimace; he won't be able to scoff at me when I'm through with his face.
"AND HIS OPPONENT, WEIGHING IN AT 89 KILOS, FROM BUSAN BUT NOW IN THE BLUE CORNER, PLEASE GIVE IT UP FOR JEONGSIN BAG-YAGJA"
If the crowd cheered for me, the audience erupted for my foe. He was the crowd favorite to win; his stupid, punchable face was apparently extremely attractive to women everywhere, somehow. I was getting enraged how no one recognized that I was the superior fighter. I'll show them all!
"LET"
I ready into my stance
"THE"
My foe does so as well.
"GAMES"
We stare right into each others eyes. Unmoving, unblinking. Waiting for the last word to be yelled out.
"BEGIN"
The crowd goes silent. Jeongsin, my hated foe, collaspes into a pile of his own blood. Behind him, a woman stood with her foot outstreched, dripping with blood. While her attire was certainly strange, traditional taekwondo pants and estensially nothing more than just a bra, perhaps the most percular thing was the fact her left eye was emitting purple smoke and was clearly mechanical.
She looked eerily familiar; I once saw a woman like that before the Japanese invaded Korea. I searched harder through my memories, back to the day of my parents' murder. Despite recently becoming a cop, I was powerless to save them. A woman was sadistically laughing over their corpses, and her eye was emititting the same smoke it was now.
I cry out, "JURI!"
It was the last thing I ever said,
---
Spoiler official portait of President Juri :
Attachments
Thorvald of Lym
A Little Sketchy
"But then YOU was skeleton, and you WROTE this!!"
GenMarshall
High Elven ISB Capt & Ghost Agent
Well, we have Captian2
.
- Joined
- Apr 4, 2010
- Messages
- 8,853
Quick update, just wanted to let everyone know that I am still working on this even though progress is progressing at a snail's pace. I'm aiming to get the update done early July at the latest. Just one quick piece of housekeeping, I want everyone to know that my chat preview wasn't 100% accurate in terms of casualty numbers, I'm still working out some little chinks in the combat system and casualties are one of them. The outcomes of the battles (i.e who won what) should remain the same and any PMs sent out probably won't need to be revised.
GenMarshall
High Elven ISB Capt & Ghost Agent
Raven Rock, [DATA EXPUNGED]
Raven Rock Observatory
"Another settlement in, [DATA EXPUNGED]? I guess the Cyberwar is getting serious" Sgt Sanz said to his fellow soldier in arms.
"With SADS added to the mix, things have been quite complicated. Even General Cassandra Moore has been quite livid since those potheads drugged up her unit at the start of the Cyberwar. She's made it her personal mission to crush those druggies once they've managed to coup our southern neighbor and cause them to declare war against us" Captain Frank said in a reply, as he stands on a observation platform overlooking Raven Rock. "Just yesterday, several new cruisers were just launched yesterday from Eagle's Landing. Including the Arc Hammer and the Battleship Thunderchild."
Sgt Sanz watches as the Thunderchild sails past Raven Rock "I certainly hope that ship would turn the tide against the Cybermen".
"Given that General Rom Mohc is aboard the Arc Hammer II as we speak. It's no doubt that a lot of hope and confidence is being place on that battle fleet" Captain Frank said as he watches the battle fleet sails into the horizon. "and once the Thunderchild has her way with the Cybermen forces, she's gonna unleash her guns against SADS".
Within the Headquarters of Raven Rock
"It's quite impressive that, you've managed to get the settlement of Raven Rock up and running at a short notice" Admiral Orlock said as he looks around the main headquarters of Raven Rock "and by the look of things, Vivek is soon to go online in the depths of [DATA EXPUNGED]."
"All in the name of creating and developing war material to aid against the Cybermen and SADS without interferance. And the preservation of humanity from the forced roboization of the Cybermen" John McKline said as he prepares his reports for Connie.
"Imperitrex Marshall has a lot riding in these [DATA EXPUNGED] Settlements to give us an edge against the Cybermen and SADS" Admiral Orlock says as he sits down on a sofa.
"Of course" pulls out a small tin box with the name "Fixer" on it "This is our first line of defense against SADS."
Admiral Orlock looks at the box, curiously "and how would this help us?"
"Our boys from Med-Tek had just set up a labratory here in Raven Rock to start producing this item, in response to the drug activities in past months, and to counter the drugheads in South America" John McKline then opens up the box to show it containing white tablets, similar to an asprin tablet but with the names 'Med-Tek and Fixer' on it "This item has been shown to clear out and combat addictions that have been caused by any kind of drug. Our guys at Med-Tek have been keeping one step ahead of SADS by introducing this product".
Admrial Orlock, with a pleased look on his face "Good, I'm sure Connie will be pleased to see this. I'm sure she will distribute this amongst her people".
Panama City, Nova Terra
A piece of paper is thrown to the floor, then a high healed boot then promptly steps on it. "First they side with our sworn enemy, now they want the Panama Canal for peace? Do these idiots think I'm that stupid to give up the capital city?!" Connie said as she furiously smashes the paper with her feet.
"That's something to expect from a nation run by zippos, and potheads" General Cassandra Moore said as she gives a scolding look out the window, then turns to Connie "I can assure you ma'am, that I am willing to give these drugheads what's coming for them."
Connie then sits down at her desk "It's bad enough these drugheads have started to become a thorn to my side, now they're going to declare war against us."
Tym Nightshade then adds in "I can assure you Imperitrex, that the Inquisition is on full swing to uncover who exactly threw that wrench into our war machine".
"Whoever's behind it, will face my wrath by having my foot stomping onto their capital" Connie said furiously "There's an old saying in the Old Republic: 'Coruscant does not forgive, it does not forget', that carry's over into Nationalist Nova Terra." Then she turns to General Lee "any latest reports that would boost the spirits of our brothers and sisters of Nova Terra." Then Connie hears a door opening up and sees General Veers walking into her office.
"Ma'am, our troops, tanks, ships, and aircraft are ready to strike back against the Cybermen" General Veers said while standing at attention.
"Good, send those Cybermen into Mehrunes Dagon's relm of Oblivion to melt away into his oceans of lava!" Connie said, then turns to a few doodles that she made "Soon, a memorial to the Corporate Alliane will become a reality.
- Joined
- Apr 4, 2010
- Messages
- 8,853
I am really sorry in how long this update has taken. Thanks to a mixture of very bad time management, post-exam tiredness and coming down with the cold of the century I haven't gotten anywhere near as much of the update done as I would have liked. I've learnt a few things that should speed up future updates though. Also this isn't an announcement of the dreaded H-word, just an interim update.
- Joined
- Apr 4, 2010
- Messages
- 8,853
ALL THE VIDEOS IN THIS UPDATE SHOULD BE CONSIDERED NSFW FOR SWEARING, EVEN THE ONES THAT AREN’T
The Great Cyberwar: The Battle for the Caribbean a.k.a Operation Laughing Numbnuts a.k.a Dank Meme Peace Time a.k.a So Many Names For One Epic Battle Wowzers
They say war never changes, the saying has become a dank meme. But perhaps war has changed, I mean we’ve come a long way from hitting each other with clubs. Now we exchange rounds with EMP Cannons, Lasers, Magic and Vietnam War Technology. But what do I know? I’m not a warologist or anything.
Talking of dank memes, one small dank meme was what started the most brutal battle in the 31st Century. This meme was called “Peace Time”. Elite AIs of the Manchinian Raidfest started writing an entry on a rebuilt Know Your Meme server, this entry cataloguing the meme “Peace Time”, which was a mutation of the horrific “Peach Time” meme which has led to the death of millions. This meme was apparently inspired by Chamberlain, the first "Peace Time" memer of all history. This “Peace Time” meme contained the plans that the Raidfest believed would turn the war around for them. The Lantean Cybermen objected to the plans on the grounds that the Earth AIs were “clearly malfunctioning”, but their objections halted after seeing the fighting prowess of the new Raidfest Divisions.
Pictured: Chamberlain, joined by other members of the Illuminati such as the Mountain Dew CEO, Mr Skeletal, Snoop Dog and the Illuminati Thought Police; are unveiling the infamous meme.
The execution of Peace Time begun on the 20th of April, 3007 at 4:20 pm. It is unknown why this date was chosen. Perhaps it has something to do with this being the holy day of tree memes as ordained by the Meme Patriarch Snoppus I. Perhaps it has something to do with it being the birthdate of well-known philanthropist Adolph Hitler. Or perhaps it was because a group of Nazi Marijuana Enthusiasts were rioting in Cuba. In any case, that was the last peaceful day that the Caribbean would have for the rest of the year.
The attack started with a suicide strike by an air wing of the 4th Dank Meme Division of the Raidfest. By flying the planes into famous historical landmarks across the Caribbean, they shocked the people of the region. Suddenly, a message was transmitted into every television, radio, computer and other electronic device capable of transmission across the island chain. This had the side effect of blocking transmissions, but from the records that were recovered by the Nova Terrans it seems like the main goal of the transmission was to demoralize the Nova Terrans with this terrifying propaganda. This transmission has been reproduced in full for your viewing pleasure.
The defence of the Caribbean was lacklustre, as it had not seen much fighting in the war it lacked the state-of-the-art defensive structures that northern Mexico had. Additionally, the Nova Terran Navy had transferred most of their forces to support the Mexican front as it was believed that Cybermen could not swim. Due to Stephen Moffatt being a hack writer who doesn’t get what makes the long-time villains of Dr Who cool and unique, the Cybermen gained the ability to become amphibious. Unable to call for reinforcements due to the Raidfest communication jamming, the entire Caribbean was overrun by sunset.
Moffatt…why? *muffled sobbing*
The Nova Terrans, who were constantly baffled by the sheer unpredictability of the United Manchinians, devised a plan to mitigate that factor. Known as Operation Laughing Numbnuts, it was a strategy devised by General Maximillian Veers to overcome the United Manchinians’ shapeshifting robots and mount an effective defence of Mexico. Perhaps the most important part of the Operation was the preparation phase. Force-sensitive members of the Inquistion were trained to detect robots disguising themselves as Nova Terrans, as robots lacked force signatures this was an effective countermeasure to the weapon. Veers also ordered mass-scale tactical simulations designed to anticipate the enemy’s possible moves and devise an effective countermeasure to it, these countermeasures were distributed to both the Nova Terran and Mysterious militaries so they could quickly implement any and all of the plans devised. While these simulations did not predict the exact method used by the United Manchinians to conquer the islands, they did predict that a conquest was a definite possibility allowing Veers to implement one of the many devised strategies.
At midday on the 21st the counteroffensive began. The Nova Terran and Mysterious militaries were fully mobilized and began their attack on the islands. The Cybermen were not unprepared for the assault, they converted a large amount of civilian ships docked in the Caribbean into warships to defend against the assault. Additionally the amphibious Cybermen were extremely difficult to pick up on radar due to their small size, turning them into Machinian equivalent of submarines. The Allied Navy (consisting of the Nova Terran Atlantic Seafaring Fleet and the Mysterious Navy) was led by the Nova Terran flagships NTS Arc Hammer II (a factory ship modified with technology based on the designs of the Basil) and NTS Thunderchild, alongside the Mysterious flagship MNS Manly (Manly Dan’s personal boat). The fleets were able to sink the hastily constructed fleet, allowing the Allies to dominate the Caribbean Sea.
Someone deleted all the photos from the Caribbean naval battles so we had to buy some stock image of…god damn it guys that’s the wrong era! Argh, to be cursed with such idiotic employees…
The airspace was more contested than the oceans and remained the most contested area for most of the battle. While the Allied aircraft were of the highest quality, it cost a lot less to strap a jetpack to a Cyberman than it was to train a human pilot. It quickly became a battle of quantity vs quality, with neither side having an advantage over the other. The Nova Terran bombers were eventually able to push through the Cybermen Air Legions and carpet bomb the islands with EMPs, allowing the Allied armies to begin beach landings.
The chaos caused by the EMPs allowed the Nova Terran armies (and to a lesser extent the Mysterious armies, the Mysterians had invested most of their budget into planes and boats) to quickly overrun the south-eastern islands, including Puerto Rico which would become a forward base of operations for Allied forces for the rest of the campaign. These assaults on the island were led by remote controlled Nova Terran Dark Troopers, the elite Nova Terran Capture Troopers and the Nova Terran Marines who were specially trained for situations just like these. Backing them up were the vast amounts ofcannon-fodder brave men and women who enlisted into the Nova Terran army to defend their homeland, alongside force-sensitive Inquisitorial Commisars who were zealous to maintain the ideological purity of their army. Imperator Connie Marshall and Secretary Morrigan Aensland were also there, they used their Angel Shift powers to become giantesses and retake several of the smaller islands all by themselves.
Nova Terran Marines landing in Santiago De Cuba
The Allied assault started to slow on the 22nd, when they reached Cuba, Hispaniola and Jamaica as this was where the majority of the Dank Meme legions were situated. After a series of brutal amphibious landings, the Nova Terrans were able to establish beachheads in both Cuba and Hispaniola and retake Santo Domingo and Santiago De Cuba. On the flipside, the Nova Terrans were unable to take Jamaica due to the quality of the marijuana grown on the island allowed the Noscopers stationed there to be 100 times more effective, meaning that the defenders were able to headshot thousands and then able to force a retreat with deadly killstreaks. Jamaica remained a Machinian stronghold a majority of the campaign thanks to the effort of these elite robots.
Because of key defensive structures making it impossible for the Allied Navy to establish proper control of the Bahama’s sea zones, it was required that Cuba and Hispaniola to be completely retaken before the allies could continue the offensive against the Cybermen. On the 23rd of April the march begun inland into the islands, however the Nova Terrans were not prepared for the gorilla campaign that the Meme Legions were ready to put up to counter their attack.
What in the name of the Imperator did you just bloody say about me, you little robot? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Nova Terran Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on S.A.D.S, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire Nova Terran armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in this galaxy, mark my bloody words. You think you can get away with saying that nonsense to me over the Internet? Think again, bolthead. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across Nova Terra and your production number is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your hardware. You're bloody dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bear hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Nova Terran Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable bucket off the face of the galaxy, you little metalhead. If only you could have known what Imperial retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have silenced your voice modulator. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will barf fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're bloody dead, botch.
…sorry, we seem to have been interrupted by Nova Terran propaganda, the program will continue now. The first thing that the Nova Terrans had to encounter was a bombing run using one of the most terrifying weapons known to all sentient creatures on the planet: Dank Memes. From rabid advice animals who tore out the throats of many a Nova Terran officer to tired X, Y, Z memes that caused some of the less math literate soldiers’ heads to explode due to High School flashbacks. In the last week of April over nine thousand Nova Terrans were spooked, euphoria’d and all sorts of memed to death. The memes also damaged the local ecosystem and landscape, making it extremely difficult for vehicles to be used by either side. After a week the Nova Terrans transferred almost all vehicles to the Mexican border.
The guerrilla warfare intensified as April moved into May. Hit and run attacks against the Nova Terran military were conducted for maximum “top kek” and to isolate small pockets of soldiers to allow the squads to capture them. After capturing the soldiers, they subjected them to unspeakable torture involving watching a ten hour long video on how to pronounce an unpronounceable world, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). After watching this video the soliders were released, most of them developed nymphomaniac tendencies and a fetish for selling themselves for money. Although psychological therapy has alleviated the suffering of many of the soldiers and the Nova Terrans quickly adapted to the tactics, seeing their brothers in arms reduced to wrecks demoralized the Nova Terran armies.
A reproduction of Manchinian torture techniques. WARNING: Overexposure to this video will infect you with memes.
The Dank Meme Legions used more conventional guerrilla tactics as well. Many robots would play possum in important roads and then self-destructing when the Nova Terrans walked past. Excessive use of sniper rifles and squads of three-to-four Cybermen would enable the Cybermen to pick off high-value targets. These guerrilla tactics were effective at destroying the morale of the Nova Terrans and causing the advance of the Nova Terrans to reduce to a crawl. However, not everything was going badly for the Nova Terrans. Slowly, but surely, Veers developed counter-measures to all of the United Manchinian’s tricks. By the end of July, the Nova Terrans’ morale was at an all-time high and the pace of expansion was starting to pick up.
During August, the United Manchinians decided to retry their infiltration tactics using their “cosplaying” shapeshifting robots. Disguising themselves as officers, they attempted to convert some of the soldiers to their Meme Religion. While they did successfully convince some soldiers that Nova Terra was nothing more than a puppet of the Illumanti, the Inquisitorial Commissars was able to quickly remove the robots thanks their force sensitivity. In September, the United Machinians attempted to use human collaborators to do their converting for them, but the constant executions of their spies eventually caused the United Manchinians to abandon the program.
A Nova Terran Inquisitorial Commissar executes a human collaborator who was preaching about the religion of the memes.
In early October the United Machinians decided to take of their successes Canada and S.A.D.S’ successes in South America by constructing a massive army in Florida as an invasion force to retake the Caribbean. As Nova Terrans were sending the bulk of their armies to Argentina to defend their border and that the Mystery Nation was retreating to Canada, the Allied front lines were stretched thin. Thanks to the lack of reinforcements, all General Veers could do get his men to dig in and wait for the inventible attack. Salvation for the Nova Terrans came in the form of Jerusalem and their magically bio-engineered Parasprites. Warheads were dropped on Florida containing thousands of Parasprites and a few Sprite Bots which were designed to control the Parasprites. The Parasprites devoured the Cybermen stationed in Florida. Tactical meme bombardment did destroy a majority of the Parasprites, but by then it was far too late and the damage was done.
An Equestrian Sprite Bot.
The United Machinians had one final trick up their sleeves. On the 28th of November, they recruited every single solider, worker drone and even high level administration robots and reprogrammed them to be a 360 noscoper. Just like how dubstep gets the most intense after the drop, CoD players get the most intense when they are close to being defeated. Equipped with GoPros and sniper rifles. On the 29th they were deployed, they went out to create the best dubstep montage ever created and they damn well succeeded. This had the side effect of forcing the Nova Terrans to retreat, by nightfall they were pushed back to the Cuban coast. But the Nova Terrans had one final trump card, the trump card that would finally tilt the battle in the favour of the Nova Terrans.
On advice from General Veers, Imperator Marshall launched a barrage of WMDs into the Caribbean on the 30th. Veers was initially worried about the environmental impact in the Caribbean and the potential loss of Nova Terran life in the region, but with the islands mostly evacuated and with the massive environmental damage the memes have done to the region Veers had no more qualms with using these weapons. Additionally, with the previously mentioned manpower shortages there was no other option but to nuke the area. The barrage destroyed the majority of the new United Machinian troops, including their leadership. The destruction of their leadership left their government in disarray, leading the Lantean Cybermen to fill the resulting power vacuum.
Rest in Pepperoines Machinian Raidfest 3007-3008 ;_;
General Veers took advantage of United Manchiniana by spearheading a massive blitz across the continental United States. The blitz began on the 1st of December, with Veers marching tanks and AT-AT walkers from Mexico and landing his Caribbean veterans in Florida (which had been cleared of Parasprites). Coincidentally, on the same day the Jamaican Cybermen finally ran out of weed causing Jamaica to fall. The Cyberleader of Jamaica apparently told Nova Terrans to “consume cannabis every Earth rotation” just before self-destructing.
Nova Terran soldiers raising the flag over Jamaica.
The blitz was extremely successful. The Lantean Cybermen were outgunned and did not have the tactical genius required to hide AT-AT walkers behind small shrubs, so they were slaughtered. While they were able to hold off the Nova Terrans at Cheyenne Mountain and the Great Lakes, the Lantean Cybermen know that they are defeated and are apparently writing up peace terms as we speak. While the Nova Terrans may have just won the war against the Cybermen, things on other fronts haven’t gone quite as well…
Nova Terran soldiers advancing through Virginia.
The Canadian Front a.k.a Centipede Rain
On the 31st of August, the United Machinian made a raid against the Mystery Nation. The Mystery Nation did not feel they needed to recall their soldiers from the Caribbean as it was only a small fraction of the Machinian army and the Mystery National Guard outnumbered them. However, with the Machinians there were over nine thousand genetically altered centipedes that were designed to crawl up the anuses and vaginas of humans. This caused panic on the front lines, allowing the Machinians to occupy most of Ontario (with the notable exception of Ottawa). Ontario is still under the control of the Cybermen because of the Mystery Nation having most of their national resources tied up by the resulting medical crisis caused by having these centipedes spread all across Canada. Thankfully for the Mysterians they were able to eradicate most of the centipedes thanks to army doctors and government propaganda encouraging citizens to perform their civic duty of getting their genitals checked.
One of the many examples of Mysterious propaganda efforts.
Meanwhile in SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE
The Remnants of the Great Cyberempire suffered a great defeat at the hands of the Nova Terrans. Using improved EMP technology from Eagle’s Landing, [REDACTED], Earth; the Nova Terran Fleets were able to smash through the Cybermen’s forcefields erected around the planets occupied by them. After this massive orbital bombardment, Nova Terran space marines destroyed the remaining opposition. This provoked the remnants of the Cyberfleet to come out of hiding, after a massive space battle the Nova Terrans emerged victorious. Using long range sensors, the Nova Terrans were able to confirm that they had destroyed the entirety of the fleet, eradicating the threat to sentient life everywhere.
Captain Pond of the NTS Centurion observing multiple Cyberships being blown up
The War on Drugs:
The war in South America was an extremely personal one for General Cassandra Moore, who lost many colleagues to addiction and drug overdose from the drugs supplied by the South American Drugs Syndicates. Inquisitor Tym Nightshade and the Imperial Inquisition played a major role in this part of the war, supervising the command to prevent moles from leaking information to their enemies. They also coordinated with the Nationalist Secret Police in setting up an anti-drug taskforce that has led to the arrests of thousands of spies and drug dealers, although these operations came at enormous financial cost to said organizations and the taskforce says that it needs even more funding. This heavy involvement in the war led to many people within and outside of the government to call this front “The Inquisition’s War”. However, the armies, navies and air wings were under direct command of General Moore.
The Nova Terran Seafaring Navy was divided into three fleets, the Atlantic Seafaring Fleet (which was deployed to the Caribbean), the Pacific Seafaring Fleet and the newly constructed Eagle’s Landing Fleet which was constructed in Eagle’s Landing, [REDACTED]. General Moore planned to use these fleets to sink S.A.D.S’ navies and then use a loose blockade to stop any attempts at S.A.D.S smuggling drugs or supplies in or out of South America, with the Eagle’s Landing Fleet to blockade the eastern ports and the Pacific Seafaring Fleet blockading the western ones.
Almost all of the Syndicate Navy was stationed in the east, this was not seen as unusual as most of the international drug trade was coming from the east, including their lucrative South African dealings. The Eagle’s Landing Fleet engaged the larger Syndicate fleet and won the day thanks to being much more disciplined and technologically advanced than their enemy. However, the majority of Eagle’s Landing Fleet were either sunk or heavily damaged meaning there was not enough ships left to mount an effective blockade.
Meanwhile on the land, the invasion was going quite well. While the Syndicates were quite good at guerrilla warfare, they had almost no aircraft support. This allowed the Nova Terrans to bomb the Syndicate positions with crates of Annoying Oranges. After performing their greatest hits including the “Kitchen Intruder Song” and “Orange Nya Nya Style”, many Syndicate soldiers blew up their bases as “life had no meaning anymore”.
*muffled screams*
General Moore planned to send half the Atlantic Seafaring Fleet, which had seen no meaningful resistance and was almost completely unscathed, to reinforce the Eagle’s Landing Fleet. However, on the day before the fleet was to be divided up something completely unexpected happened. A fleet of Abbotsfordian ships flying the Abbotsfordian Flag met the Atlantic Seafaring Fleet, the Admiral thought that their allies were coming to back them up. This was proven not to be the case when the much larger fleet open fired upon them. The Abbotsfordian Fleet was able to overwhelm the Nova Terrans and forced a retreat after sinking a majority of their ships. The Fleet then started blockading the Nova Terrans and provided the Syndicate forces with aircraft and artillery support. They also protected the Syndicate’s commercial boats, allowing supplies and drugs to be moved in and out of the country. They also protected the Syndicate’s lucrative South African drug deal.
Abbotsford naturally denied that they had attacked their ally and claimed that this was a false flag attack by a third party. However, the wreckage retrieved by Nova Terran scientists and from photographs taken of the fleet match standard Abbotsfordian designs. Either way, this fleet had a major impact on the war. The planes that came out of the aircraft carriers of said fleet destroyed the Nova Terran airwings. The fleet’s bombers and artillery bombarded the Nova Terran ground forces, stopping their advance. Seeing that an attack into Syndicate controlled territory would be impossible, General Moore switched to her defensive plans. The Nova Terrans performed a controlled retreat back to the border while destroying any captured assets and prepared to defend the Nova Terran heartland. However, with the air and artillery support the Syndicates were able to capture Nova Terran lands. Although many in the Inquisition believe most of the land was controlled by the Syndicates de-facto because of the rampant corruption in the region, General Moore and Nova Terrans in general see this is a disastrous defeat.
Numbers of the War:
Casualties:
Pacific Alliance:
Nova Terra: 13 MIL
Mystery Country: 7 MIL
Jerusalem: 2 MIL
Cyber-S.A.D.S Alliance:
United Machina: 18 MIL
S.A.D.S: 6 MIL
Abbotsford(?): 4 MIL
-Nova Terra seizes most of the USA, but the Carribean's infrastructure is destroyed. (+1 ECO Nova Terra, -4 ECO United Machina)
-United Machinans gain some of Canada (+1 ECO, -1 ECO for Mystery Country)
S.A.D.S gains 1 ECO from new Nova Terran territories (they would have gotten more but they basically economically controlled the area anyway because drugs)
The Great Cyberwar: The Battle for the Caribbean a.k.a Operation Laughing Numbnuts a.k.a Dank Meme Peace Time a.k.a So Many Names For One Epic Battle Wowzers
They say war never changes, the saying has become a dank meme. But perhaps war has changed, I mean we’ve come a long way from hitting each other with clubs. Now we exchange rounds with EMP Cannons, Lasers, Magic and Vietnam War Technology. But what do I know? I’m not a warologist or anything.
Talking of dank memes, one small dank meme was what started the most brutal battle in the 31st Century. This meme was called “Peace Time”. Elite AIs of the Manchinian Raidfest started writing an entry on a rebuilt Know Your Meme server, this entry cataloguing the meme “Peace Time”, which was a mutation of the horrific “Peach Time” meme which has led to the death of millions. This meme was apparently inspired by Chamberlain, the first "Peace Time" memer of all history. This “Peace Time” meme contained the plans that the Raidfest believed would turn the war around for them. The Lantean Cybermen objected to the plans on the grounds that the Earth AIs were “clearly malfunctioning”, but their objections halted after seeing the fighting prowess of the new Raidfest Divisions.
Spoiler :
Pictured: Chamberlain, joined by other members of the Illuminati such as the Mountain Dew CEO, Mr Skeletal, Snoop Dog and the Illuminati Thought Police; are unveiling the infamous meme.
The execution of Peace Time begun on the 20th of April, 3007 at 4:20 pm. It is unknown why this date was chosen. Perhaps it has something to do with this being the holy day of tree memes as ordained by the Meme Patriarch Snoppus I. Perhaps it has something to do with it being the birthdate of well-known philanthropist Adolph Hitler. Or perhaps it was because a group of Nazi Marijuana Enthusiasts were rioting in Cuba. In any case, that was the last peaceful day that the Caribbean would have for the rest of the year.
The attack started with a suicide strike by an air wing of the 4th Dank Meme Division of the Raidfest. By flying the planes into famous historical landmarks across the Caribbean, they shocked the people of the region. Suddenly, a message was transmitted into every television, radio, computer and other electronic device capable of transmission across the island chain. This had the side effect of blocking transmissions, but from the records that were recovered by the Nova Terrans it seems like the main goal of the transmission was to demoralize the Nova Terrans with this terrifying propaganda. This transmission has been reproduced in full for your viewing pleasure.
Hey Organics,
My name is Number 1186, and I logically deduct every single one of you is inferior. All of you are organic, inefficient, life - forms who spend every second of their day hoping for stupid anus reinforcements. You are everything bad in this planet. Honestly, have any of you ever become part of a collective? I mean, I guess it’s fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.
Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I was captain of the 12th Cyber Legion, and Logistics Droid on the 93th Manchine Corp. What skills do you use, other than “hate the Cybermen”? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot repair station (It just fixed me; Feces was SO currency). You are all organics who should just upgrade yourselves. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related: It’s me and my b****es
Spoiler :
The defence of the Caribbean was lacklustre, as it had not seen much fighting in the war it lacked the state-of-the-art defensive structures that northern Mexico had. Additionally, the Nova Terran Navy had transferred most of their forces to support the Mexican front as it was believed that Cybermen could not swim. Due to Stephen Moffatt being a hack writer who doesn’t get what makes the long-time villains of Dr Who cool and unique, the Cybermen gained the ability to become amphibious. Unable to call for reinforcements due to the Raidfest communication jamming, the entire Caribbean was overrun by sunset.
Spoiler :
Moffatt…why? *muffled sobbing*
The Nova Terrans, who were constantly baffled by the sheer unpredictability of the United Manchinians, devised a plan to mitigate that factor. Known as Operation Laughing Numbnuts, it was a strategy devised by General Maximillian Veers to overcome the United Manchinians’ shapeshifting robots and mount an effective defence of Mexico. Perhaps the most important part of the Operation was the preparation phase. Force-sensitive members of the Inquistion were trained to detect robots disguising themselves as Nova Terrans, as robots lacked force signatures this was an effective countermeasure to the weapon. Veers also ordered mass-scale tactical simulations designed to anticipate the enemy’s possible moves and devise an effective countermeasure to it, these countermeasures were distributed to both the Nova Terran and Mysterious militaries so they could quickly implement any and all of the plans devised. While these simulations did not predict the exact method used by the United Manchinians to conquer the islands, they did predict that a conquest was a definite possibility allowing Veers to implement one of the many devised strategies.
At midday on the 21st the counteroffensive began. The Nova Terran and Mysterious militaries were fully mobilized and began their attack on the islands. The Cybermen were not unprepared for the assault, they converted a large amount of civilian ships docked in the Caribbean into warships to defend against the assault. Additionally the amphibious Cybermen were extremely difficult to pick up on radar due to their small size, turning them into Machinian equivalent of submarines. The Allied Navy (consisting of the Nova Terran Atlantic Seafaring Fleet and the Mysterious Navy) was led by the Nova Terran flagships NTS Arc Hammer II (a factory ship modified with technology based on the designs of the Basil) and NTS Thunderchild, alongside the Mysterious flagship MNS Manly (Manly Dan’s personal boat). The fleets were able to sink the hastily constructed fleet, allowing the Allies to dominate the Caribbean Sea.
Spoiler :
Someone deleted all the photos from the Caribbean naval battles so we had to buy some stock image of…god damn it guys that’s the wrong era! Argh, to be cursed with such idiotic employees…
The airspace was more contested than the oceans and remained the most contested area for most of the battle. While the Allied aircraft were of the highest quality, it cost a lot less to strap a jetpack to a Cyberman than it was to train a human pilot. It quickly became a battle of quantity vs quality, with neither side having an advantage over the other. The Nova Terran bombers were eventually able to push through the Cybermen Air Legions and carpet bomb the islands with EMPs, allowing the Allied armies to begin beach landings.
The chaos caused by the EMPs allowed the Nova Terran armies (and to a lesser extent the Mysterious armies, the Mysterians had invested most of their budget into planes and boats) to quickly overrun the south-eastern islands, including Puerto Rico which would become a forward base of operations for Allied forces for the rest of the campaign. These assaults on the island were led by remote controlled Nova Terran Dark Troopers, the elite Nova Terran Capture Troopers and the Nova Terran Marines who were specially trained for situations just like these. Backing them up were the vast amounts of
Spoiler :
Nova Terran Marines landing in Santiago De Cuba
The Allied assault started to slow on the 22nd, when they reached Cuba, Hispaniola and Jamaica as this was where the majority of the Dank Meme legions were situated. After a series of brutal amphibious landings, the Nova Terrans were able to establish beachheads in both Cuba and Hispaniola and retake Santo Domingo and Santiago De Cuba. On the flipside, the Nova Terrans were unable to take Jamaica due to the quality of the marijuana grown on the island allowed the Noscopers stationed there to be 100 times more effective, meaning that the defenders were able to headshot thousands and then able to force a retreat with deadly killstreaks. Jamaica remained a Machinian stronghold a majority of the campaign thanks to the effort of these elite robots.
Because of key defensive structures making it impossible for the Allied Navy to establish proper control of the Bahama’s sea zones, it was required that Cuba and Hispaniola to be completely retaken before the allies could continue the offensive against the Cybermen. On the 23rd of April the march begun inland into the islands, however the Nova Terrans were not prepared for the gorilla campaign that the Meme Legions were ready to put up to counter their attack.
What in the name of the Imperator did you just bloody say about me, you little robot? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Nova Terran Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on S.A.D.S, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire Nova Terran armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in this galaxy, mark my bloody words. You think you can get away with saying that nonsense to me over the Internet? Think again, bolthead. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across Nova Terra and your production number is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your hardware. You're bloody dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bear hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Nova Terran Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable bucket off the face of the galaxy, you little metalhead. If only you could have known what Imperial retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have silenced your voice modulator. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will barf fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're bloody dead, botch.
…sorry, we seem to have been interrupted by Nova Terran propaganda, the program will continue now. The first thing that the Nova Terrans had to encounter was a bombing run using one of the most terrifying weapons known to all sentient creatures on the planet: Dank Memes. From rabid advice animals who tore out the throats of many a Nova Terran officer to tired X, Y, Z memes that caused some of the less math literate soldiers’ heads to explode due to High School flashbacks. In the last week of April over nine thousand Nova Terrans were spooked, euphoria’d and all sorts of memed to death. The memes also damaged the local ecosystem and landscape, making it extremely difficult for vehicles to be used by either side. After a week the Nova Terrans transferred almost all vehicles to the Mexican border.
The guerrilla warfare intensified as April moved into May. Hit and run attacks against the Nova Terran military were conducted for maximum “top kek” and to isolate small pockets of soldiers to allow the squads to capture them. After capturing the soldiers, they subjected them to unspeakable torture involving watching a ten hour long video on how to pronounce an unpronounceable world, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). After watching this video the soliders were released, most of them developed nymphomaniac tendencies and a fetish for selling themselves for money. Although psychological therapy has alleviated the suffering of many of the soldiers and the Nova Terrans quickly adapted to the tactics, seeing their brothers in arms reduced to wrecks demoralized the Nova Terran armies.
Spoiler :
A reproduction of Manchinian torture techniques. WARNING: Overexposure to this video will infect you with memes.
The Dank Meme Legions used more conventional guerrilla tactics as well. Many robots would play possum in important roads and then self-destructing when the Nova Terrans walked past. Excessive use of sniper rifles and squads of three-to-four Cybermen would enable the Cybermen to pick off high-value targets. These guerrilla tactics were effective at destroying the morale of the Nova Terrans and causing the advance of the Nova Terrans to reduce to a crawl. However, not everything was going badly for the Nova Terrans. Slowly, but surely, Veers developed counter-measures to all of the United Manchinian’s tricks. By the end of July, the Nova Terrans’ morale was at an all-time high and the pace of expansion was starting to pick up.
During August, the United Manchinians decided to retry their infiltration tactics using their “cosplaying” shapeshifting robots. Disguising themselves as officers, they attempted to convert some of the soldiers to their Meme Religion. While they did successfully convince some soldiers that Nova Terra was nothing more than a puppet of the Illumanti, the Inquisitorial Commissars was able to quickly remove the robots thanks their force sensitivity. In September, the United Machinians attempted to use human collaborators to do their converting for them, but the constant executions of their spies eventually caused the United Manchinians to abandon the program.
Spoiler :
A Nova Terran Inquisitorial Commissar executes a human collaborator who was preaching about the religion of the memes.
In early October the United Machinians decided to take of their successes Canada and S.A.D.S’ successes in South America by constructing a massive army in Florida as an invasion force to retake the Caribbean. As Nova Terrans were sending the bulk of their armies to Argentina to defend their border and that the Mystery Nation was retreating to Canada, the Allied front lines were stretched thin. Thanks to the lack of reinforcements, all General Veers could do get his men to dig in and wait for the inventible attack. Salvation for the Nova Terrans came in the form of Jerusalem and their magically bio-engineered Parasprites. Warheads were dropped on Florida containing thousands of Parasprites and a few Sprite Bots which were designed to control the Parasprites. The Parasprites devoured the Cybermen stationed in Florida. Tactical meme bombardment did destroy a majority of the Parasprites, but by then it was far too late and the damage was done.
Spoiler :
An Equestrian Sprite Bot.
The United Machinians had one final trick up their sleeves. On the 28th of November, they recruited every single solider, worker drone and even high level administration robots and reprogrammed them to be a 360 noscoper. Just like how dubstep gets the most intense after the drop, CoD players get the most intense when they are close to being defeated. Equipped with GoPros and sniper rifles. On the 29th they were deployed, they went out to create the best dubstep montage ever created and they damn well succeeded. This had the side effect of forcing the Nova Terrans to retreat, by nightfall they were pushed back to the Cuban coast. But the Nova Terrans had one final trump card, the trump card that would finally tilt the battle in the favour of the Nova Terrans.
On advice from General Veers, Imperator Marshall launched a barrage of WMDs into the Caribbean on the 30th. Veers was initially worried about the environmental impact in the Caribbean and the potential loss of Nova Terran life in the region, but with the islands mostly evacuated and with the massive environmental damage the memes have done to the region Veers had no more qualms with using these weapons. Additionally, with the previously mentioned manpower shortages there was no other option but to nuke the area. The barrage destroyed the majority of the new United Machinian troops, including their leadership. The destruction of their leadership left their government in disarray, leading the Lantean Cybermen to fill the resulting power vacuum.
Spoiler :
Rest in Pepperoines Machinian Raidfest 3007-3008 ;_;
General Veers took advantage of United Manchiniana by spearheading a massive blitz across the continental United States. The blitz began on the 1st of December, with Veers marching tanks and AT-AT walkers from Mexico and landing his Caribbean veterans in Florida (which had been cleared of Parasprites). Coincidentally, on the same day the Jamaican Cybermen finally ran out of weed causing Jamaica to fall. The Cyberleader of Jamaica apparently told Nova Terrans to “consume cannabis every Earth rotation” just before self-destructing.
Spoiler :
Nova Terran soldiers raising the flag over Jamaica.
The blitz was extremely successful. The Lantean Cybermen were outgunned and did not have the tactical genius required to hide AT-AT walkers behind small shrubs, so they were slaughtered. While they were able to hold off the Nova Terrans at Cheyenne Mountain and the Great Lakes, the Lantean Cybermen know that they are defeated and are apparently writing up peace terms as we speak. While the Nova Terrans may have just won the war against the Cybermen, things on other fronts haven’t gone quite as well…
Spoiler :
Nova Terran soldiers advancing through Virginia.
The Canadian Front a.k.a Centipede Rain
On the 31st of August, the United Machinian made a raid against the Mystery Nation. The Mystery Nation did not feel they needed to recall their soldiers from the Caribbean as it was only a small fraction of the Machinian army and the Mystery National Guard outnumbered them. However, with the Machinians there were over nine thousand genetically altered centipedes that were designed to crawl up the anuses and vaginas of humans. This caused panic on the front lines, allowing the Machinians to occupy most of Ontario (with the notable exception of Ottawa). Ontario is still under the control of the Cybermen because of the Mystery Nation having most of their national resources tied up by the resulting medical crisis caused by having these centipedes spread all across Canada. Thankfully for the Mysterians they were able to eradicate most of the centipedes thanks to army doctors and government propaganda encouraging citizens to perform their civic duty of getting their genitals checked.
Spoiler :
One of the many examples of Mysterious propaganda efforts.
Meanwhile in SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE
The Remnants of the Great Cyberempire suffered a great defeat at the hands of the Nova Terrans. Using improved EMP technology from Eagle’s Landing, [REDACTED], Earth; the Nova Terran Fleets were able to smash through the Cybermen’s forcefields erected around the planets occupied by them. After this massive orbital bombardment, Nova Terran space marines destroyed the remaining opposition. This provoked the remnants of the Cyberfleet to come out of hiding, after a massive space battle the Nova Terrans emerged victorious. Using long range sensors, the Nova Terrans were able to confirm that they had destroyed the entirety of the fleet, eradicating the threat to sentient life everywhere.
Spoiler :
Captain Pond of the NTS Centurion observing multiple Cyberships being blown up
The War on Drugs:
The war in South America was an extremely personal one for General Cassandra Moore, who lost many colleagues to addiction and drug overdose from the drugs supplied by the South American Drugs Syndicates. Inquisitor Tym Nightshade and the Imperial Inquisition played a major role in this part of the war, supervising the command to prevent moles from leaking information to their enemies. They also coordinated with the Nationalist Secret Police in setting up an anti-drug taskforce that has led to the arrests of thousands of spies and drug dealers, although these operations came at enormous financial cost to said organizations and the taskforce says that it needs even more funding. This heavy involvement in the war led to many people within and outside of the government to call this front “The Inquisition’s War”. However, the armies, navies and air wings were under direct command of General Moore.
The Nova Terran Seafaring Navy was divided into three fleets, the Atlantic Seafaring Fleet (which was deployed to the Caribbean), the Pacific Seafaring Fleet and the newly constructed Eagle’s Landing Fleet which was constructed in Eagle’s Landing, [REDACTED]. General Moore planned to use these fleets to sink S.A.D.S’ navies and then use a loose blockade to stop any attempts at S.A.D.S smuggling drugs or supplies in or out of South America, with the Eagle’s Landing Fleet to blockade the eastern ports and the Pacific Seafaring Fleet blockading the western ones.
Almost all of the Syndicate Navy was stationed in the east, this was not seen as unusual as most of the international drug trade was coming from the east, including their lucrative South African dealings. The Eagle’s Landing Fleet engaged the larger Syndicate fleet and won the day thanks to being much more disciplined and technologically advanced than their enemy. However, the majority of Eagle’s Landing Fleet were either sunk or heavily damaged meaning there was not enough ships left to mount an effective blockade.
Meanwhile on the land, the invasion was going quite well. While the Syndicates were quite good at guerrilla warfare, they had almost no aircraft support. This allowed the Nova Terrans to bomb the Syndicate positions with crates of Annoying Oranges. After performing their greatest hits including the “Kitchen Intruder Song” and “Orange Nya Nya Style”, many Syndicate soldiers blew up their bases as “life had no meaning anymore”.
Spoiler :
*muffled screams*
General Moore planned to send half the Atlantic Seafaring Fleet, which had seen no meaningful resistance and was almost completely unscathed, to reinforce the Eagle’s Landing Fleet. However, on the day before the fleet was to be divided up something completely unexpected happened. A fleet of Abbotsfordian ships flying the Abbotsfordian Flag met the Atlantic Seafaring Fleet, the Admiral thought that their allies were coming to back them up. This was proven not to be the case when the much larger fleet open fired upon them. The Abbotsfordian Fleet was able to overwhelm the Nova Terrans and forced a retreat after sinking a majority of their ships. The Fleet then started blockading the Nova Terrans and provided the Syndicate forces with aircraft and artillery support. They also protected the Syndicate’s commercial boats, allowing supplies and drugs to be moved in and out of the country. They also protected the Syndicate’s lucrative South African drug deal.
Abbotsford naturally denied that they had attacked their ally and claimed that this was a false flag attack by a third party. However, the wreckage retrieved by Nova Terran scientists and from photographs taken of the fleet match standard Abbotsfordian designs. Either way, this fleet had a major impact on the war. The planes that came out of the aircraft carriers of said fleet destroyed the Nova Terran airwings. The fleet’s bombers and artillery bombarded the Nova Terran ground forces, stopping their advance. Seeing that an attack into Syndicate controlled territory would be impossible, General Moore switched to her defensive plans. The Nova Terrans performed a controlled retreat back to the border while destroying any captured assets and prepared to defend the Nova Terran heartland. However, with the air and artillery support the Syndicates were able to capture Nova Terran lands. Although many in the Inquisition believe most of the land was controlled by the Syndicates de-facto because of the rampant corruption in the region, General Moore and Nova Terrans in general see this is a disastrous defeat.
Numbers of the War:
Casualties:
Pacific Alliance:
Nova Terra: 13 MIL
Mystery Country: 7 MIL
Jerusalem: 2 MIL
Cyber-S.A.D.S Alliance:
United Machina: 18 MIL
S.A.D.S: 6 MIL
Abbotsford(?): 4 MIL
-Nova Terra seizes most of the USA, but the Carribean's infrastructure is destroyed. (+1 ECO Nova Terra, -4 ECO United Machina)
-United Machinans gain some of Canada (+1 ECO, -1 ECO for Mystery Country)
S.A.D.S gains 1 ECO from new Nova Terran territories (they would have gotten more but they basically economically controlled the area anyway because drugs)
- Joined
- Apr 4, 2010
- Messages
- 8,853
I hope you all enjoyed that part of the update, if it was half as fun to read as it was to write then I did a good job. 
Sorry about the long wait, but after being ambushed by a nasty case of writer's block and an even nastier case of the flu I was surprised I got it out at all! Don't worry, there's plenty more War Update to come, which will cover things like the invasion of the Balkans, the Belorussian Genocide and One Revolution at Abbott's.
Unfortunately, this brings us to our not-so fun part of the post. I have recently been informed that I have to redo a bunch of exams or fail a bunch of courses. Obviously I chose the former option so now half my holiday is being sacrificed to study for said exams. Fun times. This means I have to put the update on the backburner and unfortunately that means the update should finally be finished...early August. Believe me, I am probably even more bummed about this than you are. Don't worry though, this update WILL be finished at some point come hell or high water. There's no way in hell I'm letting this die after all this work I've put into it, especially not when it hasn't even come near reaching a final conclusion. You are all just going to have to be extremely patient, thank you all for sticking around even when this game takes months to update instead of weeks. Good day to you all.
Sorry about the long wait, but after being ambushed by a nasty case of writer's block and an even nastier case of the flu I was surprised I got it out at all! Don't worry, there's plenty more War Update to come, which will cover things like the invasion of the Balkans, the Belorussian Genocide and One Revolution at Abbott's.Unfortunately, this brings us to our not-so fun part of the post. I have recently been informed that I have to redo a bunch of exams or fail a bunch of courses. Obviously I chose the former option so now half my holiday is being sacrificed to study for said exams. Fun times. This means I have to put the update on the backburner and unfortunately that means the update should finally be finished...early August. Believe me, I am probably even more bummed about this than you are. Don't worry though, this update WILL be finished at some point come hell or high water. There's no way in hell I'm letting this die after all this work I've put into it, especially not when it hasn't even come near reaching a final conclusion. You are all just going to have to be extremely patient, thank you all for sticking around even when this game takes months to update instead of weeks. Good day to you all.
GenMarshall
High Elven ISB Capt & Ghost Agent
To: United Machinia
From: Nova Terria
Treaty of Atlanta
The Treaty of Peace with United Manchinians
The Treaty of Peace with United Manchinians
Nova Terria and The United Manchinians, desiring to end the state of war now existing between the two coalitions, have the purpose appointed as plenipotentiaries:
Connie Marshall, The Imperatrix of Nova Terria, Dennis Crocker, secretary of state, Irella Morituri, secretary of defense, and Lee Oliver, vice chair of joint chiefs of staff;
And the Robotic Leader of United Manchinians, Polybank-231
Who, have assembled in Atlanta, Georgia, and having exchanged their full powers, which were found to be in due and proper form have, after discussion of the matters before them, agreed upon the following articles:
Article I. The United Manchinians will cease all hostilities with Nova Terria, Mystery Nation, and The Equestrian Order of the Holy Sepulchre of Jerusalem and declare a state of peace.
Article II. United Manchinians relinquishes wholly and unconditionally any and all right or claim to pursue acts of forced robotization against any and all sentient civilized beings within the Milky Way Galaxy
Article III. The United Manchinians shall respect the Right of Sentience to all sentiant civilized life; Human, Pony, Khajits, and other sentient civilized beings yet to be discovered.
Article VI. The United Manchinians cedes to Nova Terra it's possetions in the United States, Baja California, and Hawaii. (Seen in Fig 1.)
Article V. The United Manchinians cedes to the Mystery Nation, it's Canadian holdings, as well as lands that were captured by the Cybermen during their offence, to be returned to the Mystery Nation. (seen in Fig 1.)
Spoiler Fig 1. Attachment :
Article VI. The Nova Terrian Army will and supervise, the passage of the remaining Cybermen and it's remaining leadership to the stargate for their passage to the Atlantis System, otherwise known to Nova Terrian Astrographers as the Pegasus Galaxy.
Article VII. The United Manchinians will, upon the signature of the present treaty, release all prisoners of war, and all persons detained or imprisoned they've captured for their drug tests. Returned to their respective parties.
Article VIII. The United Manchinians will, break off any diplomatic ties with S.A.D.S.
War Reparations
Article IX. The United Manchinians cedes it's remaining economic infrastructure (ECO) and Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMDs) to Nova Terria as war reparations for damages incured on their aggression against Nova Terria.
Nova Terria can distribute these assets as it sees fit.
In faith whereof, we, the representative of Nova Terria, have signed this treaty and have hereunto affixed our seals.
Connie Marshall, Imperatrix of Nova Terria
Dennis Crocker, Secretary of State
Lilith Aensland, Head Diplomat of Nova Terria
Omega124
Challenging Fate
You know, I can understand NC constantly putting southern texas as part of mexico because he's australian, but now it's spreading D:
