random quotes

[Eran of Arcadia]

If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.

xcl, xcl, xcl.​

 

[Ultima Dragoon]

No, no, you see the rules of language are purely arbitrary stodgy ivory-tower cr@p we doesn't have to worried aboard because everytime history on you rebendible sausage mountain.

Teehee, I think I got around 10chars

 

[Swedishguy]

"Got a chimp?"
-N'kisi the parrot

 

[Taliesin]

In deserting you Fortune has taken her friends with her and left those who are really yours.

xclxclxcl.

 

[Taliesin]

"I've seen cheeseburgers funnier than that!"
--Kermit the Frog

 

[kristopherb]

after this upgrade i'm going to start my new career as a tryquarter

i also got around the 10 chars rule

 

[Swedishguy]

Heard/Said in class!

Me: L.A stands for Los Angeles! Why writing LAP?
Chinese: Why not? Why being like everybody else?
Me: Are you calling me one in the crowd!?
Chinese: <cough> I was J/K.
Me: Hm.

I throw this in as a bonus:

Charmander: You're saying you're a human?
Me: Yes.
Charmander: But you look like a Mudkip in every way! Um... you're kind of weird...

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

Science does not promise absolute truth, nor does it consider that such a thing necessarily exists. Science does not even promise that everything in the Universe is amenable to the scientific process.

Isaac Asimov

 

[Sophie 378]

religion and politics do not mix well, like blancmange and bacon.

Also, I think we ought to give Svalbard the official title of "Vassal", their tribute could be two polar bears a year. The only reason for this is that I would really like to see a Svalbardian delegation walking up a main street with two polar bears in tow.

hillipPullman'sArmouredBears:

 

[Catharsis]

I vote for Dead because he is supsicious...

The funniest thing ever said in a mafia game.

 

[Paradigne]

Wash: This landings going to get pretty interesting
Mal: Define 'interesting'
Wash: Oh God, oh God, we're all going to die?

 

[Swedishguy]

The funniest thing ever said in a mafia game.

You are too easily satisfied.

...my vote goes to the swedish squad...

 

[PrinceOfLeigh]

From Trainspotting:
Mark "Rent-boy" Renton: Now I've justified this to myself in all sorts of ways. It wasn't a big deal, just a minor betrayal. Or we'd outgrown each other, you know, that sort of thing. But let's face it, I ripped them off - my so called mates. But Begbie, I couldn't give a **** about him. And Sick Boy, well he'd done the same to me, if he'd only thought of it first. And Spud, well okay, I felt sorry for Spud - he never hurt anybody.

So why did I do it? I could offer a million answers - all false.

The truth is that I'm a bad person. But, that's gonna change - I'm going to change. This is the last of that sort of thing. Now I'm cleaning up and I'm moving on, going straight and choosing life. I'm looking forward to it already. I'm gonna be just like you. The job, the family, the ****ing big television. The washing machine, the car, the compact disc and electric tin opener, good health, low cholesterol, dental insurance, mortgage, starter home, leisure wear, luggage, three piece suite, DIY, game shows, junk food, children, walks in the park, nine to five, good at golf, washing the car, choice of sweaters, family Christmas, indexed pension, tax exemption, clearing gutters, getting by, looking ahead, the day you die.

 

[SuperBeaverInc.]

Harrison Ford: I don't really do action movies.
Jon Stewart: You were Indiana Jones.
Harrison Ford: Yeah, but...
Jon Stewart: And Jack Ryan.
Harrison Ford: I always saw Indiana Jones as a comedy.
Jon Stewart: Well, I can assure you it's not.
Harrison Ford: I'll have to let Spielberg know that. "Steve- not funny."
Jon Stewart: You know Spielberg?

 

[PrinceOfLeigh]

From Gladiator:
Maximus: Fratres!

Three weeks from now, I will be harvesting my crops. Imagine where you will be, and it will be so. Hold the line! Stay with me! If you find yourself alone, riding in the green fields with the sun on your face, do not be troubled. For you are in Elysium, and you're already dead!

Brothers, what we do in life... echoes in eternity.

 

[SuperBeaverInc.]

Mo Rocca: I was busy waiting all night for the Columbus Day Bunny to come down my chimney and light fireworks in my pumpkin.
Jon Stewart: ...There's so much wrong with that.
Mo Rocca: Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot you were Jewish.

 

[Swedishguy]

Heard in class!

Random persian: [singing] burn mother****er, burn mother****er...
Teacher: [insert name here], what are you singing?
Random persian: Eh, nothing...

 

[PrinceOfLeigh]

From 'The Fast Show':

Our Jennie: "I&#8217;ve gone vegetarian now. I mean, I know I had a sausage roll yesterday, but it's not really meat, is it, y'know? I mean, there's no animal called a 'sausage'"

 

[SuperBeaverInc.]

Stephen Colbert: Pretend that I'm you, the Reverend Al Sharpton, and you're me, Stephen Colbert. Tell me why me/you should vote for you/me.
Al Sharpton: You're Reverend Al Sharpton?
Stephen Colbert: I'm the Reverend Al Sharpton. You're Stephen Colbert. Tell me...
Al Sharpton: Tell Al Sharpton?
Stephen Colbert: Tell me/you why you/me should vote for me/you.
Al Sharpton: Because you/me are the best candidate, and you oughta know that.
Stephen Colbert: You're gonna have to back that up, because right now, you aren't persuading you.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

"The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make."

Dan Quayle

"Last words are for fools who haven't said enough."

Karl Marx

"Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent."

Isaac Asimov

"Every man is a damned fool for five minutes every day. Wisdom consists of not exceeding the time limit."

Elbert Hubbard
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