Disclaimer: Irving's Odessey is in no way intended to be supposed to be what actually happened, or even make any sense - it is explictly the author making up rubbish to impress people back home. Remember this every time it stops making sense, which is going to happen a lot.
Irving's Odessey
Chapter 1
I had been twenty for but two weeks when President Ruiz sent for me. I was still but a young man at this time, though brave, lusty, and hungry for glory. I was toiling in the fields when his messenger came with his summons.
I felt great apprehension at meeting the leader of the village one-to-one. I had lived through the turmoils of the last few years, fighting off the raiders, and I had taken part in an expedition to Marathon, but this was the first time that I had been directly summoned to him.
"Irving Lopez," he said to me, when I met him in his office, "I have a great mission for you, and I need you to lead it."
"Why me?" I asked, "I am but twenty years old. Surely there are those with more experience!"
"I need a crew of people who are too stupid to defect," he replied, "but I need someone with an ounce of imagination to actually lead it. You're too much of a stupid glory hound not to come back, so you'll do." My heart swelled with these words of praise, from the great Ruiz himself! "I need you to explore the mainland. We need to know if other villages exist, we need to have actual, genuine contact. Trade links. Do you follow?" I nodded. "This is a massive task, and we need you to come back and come back alive. I am placing in your hands our last vessel, the
Pride of the Keys. We need you to come back, and to come back with information. Explore the west coast of the Sunshine Wasteland, and above all, come back. I can't stress this enough."
"I shall, my President!" I saluted sharply. "I shall accomplish your mission!"
"Good man," Ruiz replied, and patted me on the shoulder. "Go pack, and say your goodbyes to your family. You'll meet your crew in a few days, and then you'll set off."
With that, I was dismissed. I went back to my home, and wished my farewells to my mother and paid my respects at my father's grave. I too visited Penelope and her younger brother - the Raider attacks had been hard on their family too.
"I am leaving on a grand quest, to save Duck Key!" I said to her.
"Go away," she responded. "I thought I told you this the first time!"
"You spurn me, and yet I shall have you in my heart!" I replied.
"You won't even come back, you idiot. If only you wouldn't, I'd be rid of your stalking!"
"When I come back," I said, "I shall return as a hero and as a brave man!"
"Hah! If you were a hero, a brave man, or even had a lick of sense I'd marry you on the spot!" Penelope scoffed.
"It is settled then! We shall schedule our wedding on my return!" I said, filled with hope.
"That's not what I said at all!" I heard her yell, but I did not care. She would wed me on my return, this I knew now.
We set off a few days later, once I had met my crew. My second mate, Antonio de Santa Cruz, quickly impressed me as a man of resource. I also learned from him that my crew was entirely composed of
putas, though I still do not know what that word means. Still, I knew that it would be an Adventure, and I set about befriending them as the
Pride took off.
Chapter 2
We sailed across the Rabbit Key Basin, en route to the west coast of the mainland. Our first few days were uneventfull and dull - I wondered if we would have adventures at all, and if the mainland was even reacheable. However, after the first two days, we spotted a vast landmass - obviously the mainland. We reached it on the second day of our voyage. However, all we could see was dense swamp (the fabled "Everglades" of which we had been told by the last expedition to the mainland). I remembered our President's instructions, which were above all to come back home, and decided not to venture too deep into this swamp. We continued along the coast for another two days, until we came across the first sign of life other than fish.
We saw a boat on the shore, immediately apparent. It had been beached some time ago, but not as long as it would have been if it was a Pre-War relic. I immediately dispatched a team of men to investigate, led by myself. We armed ourselves, and went ashore.
Though the boat was beached and had become one with the local ecosystem, it was immediately apparent that it was in good order, and even had a great amount of fuel. I was unsure why it had been abandoned, for it was perfectly functional. It even seemed familiar, as we inspected the interior - it was full of similar goods as what we had aboard our own vessel. It was then that I read the bulkhead, and the name that was printed on it - it was the
Duck!
All aboard knew the story of the Duck - how it's crew had mutinied, and sailed to unknown waters. Here, we had found it and the waters it had sailed to, but where were the crew? We had always assumed they had found some village to join, but it seemed that they had beached the vessel and gone overland. If so, they were by now dead - why would they beach the vessel and not come back for it? The thought filled us with fear. However, after inspecting the vessel to ensure that it was seaworthy, we cleaned the
Duck and added it to our expedition.
It was a further week before we found another sign of intelligent life. The Everglades was teeming with strange creatures - squirrels that could fly, the ever present mirelurks, mosquitos the size of vast birds, and what looked like trees which moved - but remembering the apparent fate of the mutineers, we kept well clear. It was not until we reached a large island, not unlike our own Keys, that we saw another example of civilisation.
On our maps the island was labelled as Marcos Island, and there were a great many buildings on it. We rejoiced to see the signs of urbanisation, but we did not see a single human. We grew wary, and when Lucy spotted a safe harbour we made landfall and armed ourselves. Once again, being the brave man that I am, I led an expedition onto the island. We went some time before we reached the town.
It was then that we were surrounded by Mirelurks! The vast, chitinous creatures were terrifying to our eye, but we all had seen them in expeditions to Fiesta Key or the other Keys and they were not strange to us. However, these Mirelurks spoke like people, which was disturbing. Lucy attempted to parlay with them, but they did not speak sense.
"Shriek is Love! Shriek is Life!" they cried, over and over again. Still, they did not move to attack us, and thus we were confident in our safety as we attempted to forage. It was then that the real monster of Marcos Island arrived.
It was a vast Mirelurk, larger than all the rest, but a greener shade in colour. When it arrived, the other Mirelurks began chittering again, screaming, "the Shriek, the Shriek!" and fleeing the scene. Then ten of us were left facing down this strange beast.
"THIS IS MAH SWAMP!" it roared, it's big green bulk looming over us.
"We have come to parlay! We represent the Conch Thalassocracy of the Keys," I began, but the Shriek continued to roar it's message of ownership of this particular region of the Everglades.
"CHECK YOURSELF AFORE YE SHRECK YOURSELF!" it yelled, and tried to bring down it's mighty fists upon us, but we moved at the last second. It was enraged even further.
"IT'S ALL OGRE NOW!" It roared, as we fled to the boats. It swam after us, but I pulled out a rocket launcher and I fired it aat the monster's chitin. It seemed unhurt, but the pain apparently gave it pause and allowed us to flee. I did not know what this being wnted, or why it had reacted in this way, but we marked the island and made a point not to return.