- I don't start a war unless someone is willing to pay me for it or if someone asks me to
- always give your friend whatever they want (havn't had any ridiculus requests yet)
Why should it matter if someone asks you? Pays you I understand, but why is it ok if they ask? Did you know that it makes absolutely no difference to diplomacy? Saying no doesn't bother the asker, nor does saying yes make them happier.
In fact, allow me to share the story of my Aztec playthrough. Gandhi below me, Alex to the right, and Nappy above him. I'm next to Alex so I gear up for early war since that's how he rolls. Pump out some archers, lots of jags, and promote a few of those to swordsmen. But before Alex can DoW on me, Nappy comes to me and asks me to DoW on Alex. I ask him to give me 10 turns and begin moving my troops out. 10 turns end, are you in? Hell yes. This is no lip-service agreement, we fight side by side, literally, taking city after city until Alex is no more. But I can't help but notice, Nappy is friendly but for all the wrong reasons. No "you agreed to help us in war." No "you actually
did help us in war. No nothing.
If it were Civ IV, he and I would have lived side by side like brothers for the rest of the game. I know it's not a real person, but I'd just feel guilty having such good relations with someone only to backstab them. But in V I know Nappy doesn't remember the past, how we fought like brothers. No, he didn't even realize it was happening while it was happening, and soon he'll just denounce me for expanding or being close to winning anyway. I dial him up. His smile says "welcome, friend," but his eyes show no hint of recognition. Like an Alzheimer's patient, he is. Again, I wouldn't have been able to bring myself to hurt him in IV. But this is V. I tell him I want his land. Then I erase his life. I feel nothing.
So yeah, that whole "I'll agree to help you for positive relations" attitude is a relic from IV that we must learn to leave behind. it means nothing here, the AI has no idea that you helped them.
And as for not seeing ridiculous demands, the first and really only time I made extensive use of DoFs, I was routinely asked for half or more of my gold. When you say no, negative diplo penalty. When you say yes, again, the AI has Alzheimer's when it comes to your good deeds. That's why I rarely make DoFs now.