Monarch is still not an actual level of difficulty in Civ V though.
I don't feel that there's a shaming of non-Deity players around these parts. People mention Deitya lot because it's basically a different game from Immortal, which is a different game from everything below that. People should play the game at whatever level is most enjoyable to them.
Not sure what you mean by this, do you mean, its not actually difficult or it 'doesn't count' because its too easy?
Either way, that kind of wording is probably what compounds the feelings of the OP when he basically says he's a failure cause he loses on Monarch pangea. Didn't he say he blocked someone for their comments?
And you're right, there's no 'shaming' of people per se, but there's very definitely a show offy kind of attitude when posters like the OP ask for help that tends to make them feel worse
P.S. the reason why immortal is its own thing and diety is its own thing is as I said, the game isn't balanced on those levels. They are special challenges for really good players. A goal for everyone to aim for where its more about exploiting the mechanics than playing the game as intended and still being able to enjoy it.