The Joke Leaders Thread

VainoValkea · Jul 30, 2013

Oceania
Leader: Big Brother

UA: Doublethink - can have each ideology branch unlocked at the same time. +1 happiness every ten turns when at war.

UU: Rocket bomb - replaces bomber. Acts as a particularly weak guided missile that does acceptable damage against cities with a chance of destroying a building.

UB: MiniLove - replaces police station. Eliminates all unhappiness in the city. Enemy spies in the city have a chance of disappearing, but instead of being KIA, the owner is not notified and the game situation is modified so the spy never actually even existed. Allows the player to zoom into the city so individual people are visible and pick ~~random peasants~~ thoughtcriminals to be arrested by clicking with the mouse.

Cyanfunk · Jul 30, 2013

James Buchanan as an alt. America leader

UA: IT'LL PASS GUYS DON'T WORRY - Ignores all unhappiness penalties except the city-flipping one. Cities flip at double the rate.

AtlantaMarty · Jul 31, 2013

otaman1 said:
I wanna use Osama bin Laden in the Al-Qaeda civ but I dunno if I can (or if it's against the rule)

It's fine, he be dead.

Moderator Action: No, I do not think it would be fine.
Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889

Jerman · Jul 31, 2013

Bobby Martnen said:
It's fine, he be dead.

Moderator Action: No, I do not think it would be fine.
Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889

Yeah, I learned you can't do things like that in this thread the hard way. So learn from me and don't.

megabearsfan · Jul 31, 2013

Torquemada of Spain (No one suspects...)

Happiness is doubled in cities that have only Spain's religion. Inquisitors are half cost, but produce temporary unhappiness for each population that believed in the removed religion(s). +20% combat bonus against units belonging to civilizations of another religion.

Workman · Jul 31, 2013

(21st Century) America

UA: Decaying Infrastructure: All tile improvements are constructed 25% faster. However, every 15 turns after they are built, they will become pillaged and must be repaired. Enemy units gain no health or :c5gold:

from pillaging your improved tiles.

UU: Overseas Infantry: 375 :c5production:

, 70

Replaces infantry, maintenance cost doubled outside of friendly lands, but also receives +25% :c5strength:

and heals at double the normal rate.

UB: Wall Street: 360 :c5production:

, +50%

, +3

Replaces Stock Exchange, Produces much more gold than the Stock Exchange it replaces, but every city with one built rolls a 10% chance each turn of deducting 150 :c5gold:

from your total.

MerchantCo · Jul 31, 2013

Not a bad idea, Workman

badconduct · Aug 1, 2013

dopingman said:
Canada:

UA: "Frindliness" - you give barbarians gold if you clear their encampments (they have to fund their live and families somehow, eh?)
UB: "Hockey stadium" After building, your city will be celebrating 5 turns by watching hockey games. City production is zero during the celebration. Replaces Coliseum. Grants 2 local
UU: "Mounty" Replaces cavalry. Cannot be upgraded. Wears fancy red uniform.

All Canadian stereotypes I can imagine, packed in one Civ!

Don't forget their great leader, Stephen Harper
UA: After 2001, 80% of your cities become Puppets for America. The other 20% seperate and gain +100% :culture:

for every

with France.

badconduct · Aug 1, 2013

Workman said:
(21st Century) America

UA: Decaying Infrastructure: All tile improvements are constructed 25% faster. However, every 15 turns after they are built, they will become pillaged and must be repaired. Enemy units gain no health or from pillaging your improved tiles.

UU: Overseas Infantry: 375 , 70 Replaces infantry, maintenance cost doubled outside of friendly lands, but also receives +25% and heals at double the normal rate.

UB: Wall Street: 360 , +50% , +3 Replaces Stock Exchange, Produces much more gold than the Stock Exchange it replaces, but every city with one built rolls a 10% chance each turn of deducting 150 from your total.

Haha

could be
UB: Wall Street: Replaces Stock market. Gains a compound +10% :c5gold:

per city, per turn. Cost of all Gold purchases increase by 11% per turn.
UA: "Print Money" unique Spy ability. Immediately adds 10000 :c5gold:

to your account but only when trading with targeted Civ.
UU: College Graduate; replaces Worker. Can be upgraded to Marine after the discover of Penicillin at no cost.

thegingerninja · Aug 1, 2013

New Zealand

Leader: John Key

UA: Forget about the last one, get yourself another:
Every 10 turns your units will become drunk and fight each other, pillage their own improvements and use up all your wine resources.

UU: GCSB Agent, replaces Spy: Cannot enter cities owned by other players. When stationed in a city they will attempt to catch enemy spies, resulting in the GCSB and its leader becoming the laughing stock of the world as the enemy spy becomes unkillable and can steal every technology that New Zealand owns.

UB: Canterbury Earthquake Recovery Agency: When New Zealand enters the Atomic Era their 2nd biggest city (or the capital if there is only one) automatically loses all of its buildings and surrounding improvements. They immediately receive the CERA to rebuild the city, resulting in the city from then on only being able to produce liquefaction.

Argive · Aug 1, 2013

America

Moderator Action: Please do not use leaders who are living.
Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889

Jerman · Aug 1, 2013

Argive said:
America

Leader: George W. Bush

Umm... you might want to take that down, No living leaders are allowed.

VainoValkea · Aug 1, 2013

The Republic of Finland
Leader: Urho Kekkonen

UA: Finlandization (appear as a City-State to other civs, who will send you gold and units for influence)

UU: Hovercraft. Expensive to build and gets disbanded soon after, humiliatingly.

UU2: Reserve conscript. Very good when it comes to living in forest. Can make a fire by rubbing two... no, ONE stick together, eat grass, berries and wild animals, carve a functional AK47 out of a pine tree in two hours and has deadly trench shovel fu -skills. Also knows three different unarmed fighting techniques: punching, kicking and biting. Otherwise pretty useless. Spawns for free whenever a city grows in population.

Moshe Dayan · Aug 1, 2013

Weaboo World
Leader: Matthew Perry

UA - Fanaticism: :c5war:

Military strength increased by 50% against civs who are at war with Japan. Japanese trade routes yield 50% more :c5gold:

UU - Weaboo: Paratrooper replacement, requires an airport in the city. Can drop into any Japanese territory from anywhere in the world, regular range elsewhere

UB - Pachinko parlor: Identical to the stock exchange, except when you first build it, the following song begins to play

Link to video.

Elana01 · Aug 1, 2013

dopingman said:
Canada:

UA: "Frindliness" - you give barbarians gold if you clear their encampments (they have to fund their live and families somehow, eh?)
UB: "Hockey stadium" After building, your city will be celebrating 5 turns by watching hockey games. City production is zero during the celebration. Replaces Coliseum. Grants 2 local
UU: "Mounty" Replaces cavalry. Cannot be upgraded. Wears fancy red uniform.

All Canadian stereotypes I can imagine, packed in one Civ!

Al of 'em, eh? May I politely suggest you add: "+1 happy each city for every proposal received from all other civilizations - even if said proposals are politely denied."

BTW, being so polite, I did not point out correct spelling of 'friendliness,' eh?

VainoValkea · Aug 1, 2013

Viking Civilization

UA: Scandinavious

Can spend the early game pillaging and looting as much as they like. Transforms into a random Nordic country upon selecting an ideology. Gains tons of oil and money, loses all warmongering penalties from earlier eras and becomes the model country for peaceful society, welfare of citizens, human rights and novel innovations. May occasionally help Autocratic countries in warfare.

ajok · Aug 4, 2013

VainoValkea said:
Viking Civilization

UA: Scandinavious

Can spend the early game pillaging and looting as much as they like. Transforms into a random Nordic country upon selecting an ideology. Gains tons of oil and money, loses all warmongering penalties from earlier eras and becomes the model country for peaceful society, welfare of citizens, human rights and novel innovations. May occasionally help Autocratic countries in warfare.

the uu kinda like this

Spoiler :

Abraxis · Aug 6, 2013

badconduct said:
Don't forget their great leader, Stephen Harper
UA: After 2001, 80% of your cities become Puppets for America. The other 20% seperate and gain +100% for every with France.

I'm sure there must be some poutine somewhere that needs eating.

If we're looking for a joke leader, john diefenbaker would probably fit the bill a little better.

Workman · Sep 2, 2013

I'm going to hopefully breath some new life into this thread with this idea that I could not sit on. (Look up some clips from Austin Powers: Goldmember if this makes no sense to you.)

The Netherlands

Leader: Johan Van Der Smut, he's from the Netherlands. (It's where he learned to dance.)

Capital: Holland (Isn't that vierd?)

Starting Bias: Near Gold luxury resource tile (Highest Priority)

Unique Ability: We love Go-old - Double :c5happy:

from Gold luxury resource. +2 Global :c5happy:

for every 2,500 :c5gold:

in their treasury.

Unique Building: Schmelting Plant - 100 :c5production:

, +3

, +2

. Requires a nearby source of silver or gold. Gives +3 :c5gold:

per silver or gold and also provides happiness, unlike the Mint it replaces.

Unique Unit: Goldmember's Henchmen - 375 :c5production:

, 70

. Replaces the Infantry, receives a +75% :c5strength:

bonus when fighting near (or attacking) a city with a nearby Gold resource... Also receives a +25% :c5strength:

bonus when fighting against English units. (Dutch Haters!)

Js_9001 · Sep 2, 2013

Sparta
Leader: Leonidas
Capital: Sparta
UA: 300. Sparta can make a maximum of 3 units. Units from any other city are completely ignored and cut offscreen, becoming useless. Enemy units multiplied in numbers by 10 upon entering Spartan territory. +100% :c5strength:

for units in friendly territory.

UU: Spartan Warrior. Replaces everything. Has 100 :c5strength:

and +50%

when defending. Can only be made in Sparta (because if they weren't from Sparta they wouldn't be Spartan, duh). Earn 5x the normal amount of Leonidas points.

UU2: Leonidas. Replaces Great General. Can only be one. Unlike the great general which he replaces,
Leonidas can attack with 50 :c5strength:

with a kicking attack. +200% :c5strength:

versus Persians. Special ability: This is Sparta!!!!!!!! Replaces Citadel ability. Leonidas yells "THIS IS SPARTAAAAAA!!!!!!", increasing all units' :c5strength:

by over 9000%, and reducing all enemy units' :c5strength:

by (10 times the amount of total units they have) %.

The Joke Leaders Thread

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