My traits would be Hungry and Lazy.
Hungry: City tiles get 1 less food, but when your army enters their territory, it not only blocks the tile its on, it blocks the food from all surrounding tiles. 1/2 price granaries and grocers. +1 happiness from grocers.
Lazy: -1 hammers from mines, workers take 25% more turns, and slave whips only yield 80% of normal hammers. But only 80% of the normal food is required for pop growth (not burning that food energy), and slave whip unhappiness lasts for only half the normal time, because the citizens are too lazy to do anything about it. +1 happiness from Musicals, Singles and Movies.... maybe just singles and movies. Who wants to walk all the way to the theater?
UU: Armchair warrior. Replaces warrior. Free "Great" General attached to every warrior, starts with 20 "xp" from all of its "studying." Cannot be upgraded. -50% penalty when attacking. If 10 Armchair warriors exist in your civilization, or if 3 or more Armchair warriors are ever assembled on one tile, all units are deleted, civilization goes into anarchy for 3 turns. Otherwise same as regular warrior.
UB: Microwave Factory. Replaces factory. Factory only available at Satellites. Produces microwaves. City tiles get +1 food, and cities get +3 happiness, -1 health in addition to normal factory effects. Engineer slots are eliminated from normal factory.