strijder20
Wallowing in irony
No, I won't stop, I'll pursue a victory condition which suits the Civilization instead.
In this case, it's space/diplo/culture, I think.
In this case, it's space/diplo/culture, I think.
A story of Earth
- Thread starter strijder20
- Start date
strijder20
Wallowing in irony
Going to play the round NOW.
I'll split the game up in ten rounds of 75 turns.
Carthage, here I come!
I'll split the game up in ten rounds of 75 turns.
Carthage, here I come!
strijder20
Wallowing in irony
Musa cried, and cried, and cried. He still couldn't believe his eyes. The gods sent him to the Earth to make a glorious empire which would stand the test of time. He expected to see lush grasslands, grazing cattle and abundant resources on the place the deities ordered him to found his capital. But none of those were present. On the place he incarnated there was only a small fertile strip of land plagued with mosquitoes next to a river full of alligators, and the rest of his future empire was sand and rock. He was in a desert.
Suddenly, he heard the sound of someone sneezing behind him. He turned around, astonished there was another living human in the burning hell he was in. He saw a strange figure, clothed in colourful robes with pictures of dice, a kind of pyramid and a coin on them. Musa spoke : "What are you doing here, oh strange man, in my empire?"
"Empire? Do you call this an empire? I don't even see a single hint of a city here" the man laughed. "I'm inspecting your starting position, like I already did with Montezuma, Lincoln and Huayna Capac. Man, that Inca capital sucks! Mountains, mountains, mountains and desert. I caught a cold while climbing on one of those mountains, trying to reach the other side, which looked more promising. But I'm sure none of those Incas will be bright enough to take a boat to get to the other side of the mountain chain. So be glad you didn't land in the Andes, pal.""Perhaps I should be, but this is still awful. Can't I be, err, moved, or something?" Musa replied.
"What if you move yourself? I heard there is a more hospitable strip of land to the north of here" the stranger spoke.
"What a great idea!" Musa said. "Thanks, stranger. Can I know your name? My name is..."
"Mansa Musa, I already know. And you ask my name? I have no name, but some call me the RNG god. You will hear of me". And after these words, the deity departed with a chilling laugh.
After a century of travelling, Musa and his people reached the shore of a great, great river. It was that huge noone could see the other shore. Mansa was thirsty (who wouldn't be after travelling 100 years through a desert) and sprinted towards the river to drink. But when he tasted the water, he spit it out. "What is this? This water is salt! This is a strange kind of river for sure. It is enormous, and it's water is salt. I shall call it "sea"'. The Malinese people liked the word 'sea' and promptly settled next to the sea and a nearby river. Monstrous hairballs were seen to the right and some kind of flowers could be found to the west. The village they founded was given the name 'Carthage' because they had travelled in carts through the desert for ages.(Screenshot 1)
"Mine that hill!"
"No!"
"Do it!"
"Why should I?"
"Because I'm your chief!"
"So what?"
Musa heard this conversation between one of his lieutenants and a group of workers.
He realised the stubbornness and freedom of his people prevented his empire from becoming great. So he adopted slavery.
The next day, this could be heard:
"Mine that hill!"
"No!"
"Do it!"
"Why should I?"
"Because you are a slave!"
"What's a slave?"
"Someone who does everything I say! So mine that hill!"
"Fine!"
A ruler of a distant country, Asoka, heard of this concept and adopted it too. But he forgot to say he was a ruler, not a slave. He soon was sacrificed to 'rush' the 'production' of an axeman. This way, the Indian empire came to an early end.
(Screenshot 2)
The Romans, a naive and stupid people, never realised where that floating building came from which took away their working squad. ( Screenshot 3 )
The Malinese/Carthaginian army, a well trained and organized machine, occupied and plundered the Roman countryside. They were leaded by Hannibal Barca, a great general, who led them through Spain to Massilia. There he had two choices. He could take the easy way, following the coastline, reaching Italy in two weeks where he could plunder as much as he wanted, because the Romans were cowering in their city. He could also make a very long detour, through southern Germany and France, going through the Alps to add a little element of surprise (which wasn't necessary, as Rome didn't possess a field army at all). He choosed the second way, because he thought it was cooler (the winter in the Alps was certainly cold). He also took a few pigs from France with him, because he liked animals. (Screenshot 4)
"And why would I invade Rome, a deed which will cripple Spain for centuries, will result in thousands of deaths and would be a total backstab?" Isabella, queen of Spain, said in a soft and threatening voice to Mansa Musa.
"Because we are both Buddhists?"
"Not good enough. Buddha hated war, by the way."
"Because you might expand your empire?"
"I know that trick. I will make a failed assault on Rome, after which your army kills off the weakened defenders and keeps the city for itself?"
"Because he eats babies?"
"You have no proof."
"Because Julius likes salad and is bald?"
"Really?"
"Really."
"Well, in that case: always happy to help..."
(Screenshot 5)
The city of Neapolis was a little Roman trading post in Malinese territory : Sicily. After Julius Caesar ordered his archers to make a random movement to the west, Musa saw his chance: two Batallions of footsoldiers, also known as skirmishers, were sent to capture the city. One of them never recovered from the heavy losses (The Malinese had to fight the Roman Clubwarriors while disembarking), but the other one fortified itself in the city. The city was reduced to little more than a village by a Roman pyromane, but thanks to trade caravans from Carthage and Timbuktu rised from it's ashes a few decades later.
(Screenshot 6)
That's the round! I'll finish the writing up of round 2 later this day.
As this is my first story: can you give me a little advice? Do you like my writing style or do you prefer something more informative? Any advice on gameplay?
Suddenly, he heard the sound of someone sneezing behind him. He turned around, astonished there was another living human in the burning hell he was in. He saw a strange figure, clothed in colourful robes with pictures of dice, a kind of pyramid and a coin on them. Musa spoke : "What are you doing here, oh strange man, in my empire?"
"Empire? Do you call this an empire? I don't even see a single hint of a city here" the man laughed. "I'm inspecting your starting position, like I already did with Montezuma, Lincoln and Huayna Capac. Man, that Inca capital sucks! Mountains, mountains, mountains and desert. I caught a cold while climbing on one of those mountains, trying to reach the other side, which looked more promising. But I'm sure none of those Incas will be bright enough to take a boat to get to the other side of the mountain chain. So be glad you didn't land in the Andes, pal.""Perhaps I should be, but this is still awful. Can't I be, err, moved, or something?" Musa replied.
"What if you move yourself? I heard there is a more hospitable strip of land to the north of here" the stranger spoke.
"What a great idea!" Musa said. "Thanks, stranger. Can I know your name? My name is..."
"Mansa Musa, I already know. And you ask my name? I have no name, but some call me the RNG god. You will hear of me". And after these words, the deity departed with a chilling laugh.
After a century of travelling, Musa and his people reached the shore of a great, great river. It was that huge noone could see the other shore. Mansa was thirsty (who wouldn't be after travelling 100 years through a desert) and sprinted towards the river to drink. But when he tasted the water, he spit it out. "What is this? This water is salt! This is a strange kind of river for sure. It is enormous, and it's water is salt. I shall call it "sea"'. The Malinese people liked the word 'sea' and promptly settled next to the sea and a nearby river. Monstrous hairballs were seen to the right and some kind of flowers could be found to the west. The village they founded was given the name 'Carthage' because they had travelled in carts through the desert for ages.(Screenshot 1)
"Mine that hill!"
"No!"
"Do it!"
"Why should I?"
"Because I'm your chief!"
"So what?"
Musa heard this conversation between one of his lieutenants and a group of workers.
He realised the stubbornness and freedom of his people prevented his empire from becoming great. So he adopted slavery.
The next day, this could be heard:
"Mine that hill!"
"No!"
"Do it!"
"Why should I?"
"Because you are a slave!"
"What's a slave?"
"Someone who does everything I say! So mine that hill!"
"Fine!"
A ruler of a distant country, Asoka, heard of this concept and adopted it too. But he forgot to say he was a ruler, not a slave. He soon was sacrificed to 'rush' the 'production' of an axeman. This way, the Indian empire came to an early end.
(Screenshot 2)
The Romans, a naive and stupid people, never realised where that floating building came from which took away their working squad. ( Screenshot 3 )
The Malinese/Carthaginian army, a well trained and organized machine, occupied and plundered the Roman countryside. They were leaded by Hannibal Barca, a great general, who led them through Spain to Massilia. There he had two choices. He could take the easy way, following the coastline, reaching Italy in two weeks where he could plunder as much as he wanted, because the Romans were cowering in their city. He could also make a very long detour, through southern Germany and France, going through the Alps to add a little element of surprise (which wasn't necessary, as Rome didn't possess a field army at all). He choosed the second way, because he thought it was cooler (the winter in the Alps was certainly cold). He also took a few pigs from France with him, because he liked animals. (Screenshot 4)
"And why would I invade Rome, a deed which will cripple Spain for centuries, will result in thousands of deaths and would be a total backstab?" Isabella, queen of Spain, said in a soft and threatening voice to Mansa Musa.
"Because we are both Buddhists?"
"Not good enough. Buddha hated war, by the way."
"Because you might expand your empire?"
"I know that trick. I will make a failed assault on Rome, after which your army kills off the weakened defenders and keeps the city for itself?"
"Because he eats babies?"
"You have no proof."
"Because Julius likes salad and is bald?"
"Really?"
"Really."
"Well, in that case: always happy to help..."
(Screenshot 5)
The city of Neapolis was a little Roman trading post in Malinese territory : Sicily. After Julius Caesar ordered his archers to make a random movement to the west, Musa saw his chance: two Batallions of footsoldiers, also known as skirmishers, were sent to capture the city. One of them never recovered from the heavy losses (The Malinese had to fight the Roman Clubwarriors while disembarking), but the other one fortified itself in the city. The city was reduced to little more than a village by a Roman pyromane, but thanks to trade caravans from Carthage and Timbuktu rised from it's ashes a few decades later.
(Screenshot 6)
That's the round! I'll finish the writing up of round 2 later this day.
As this is my first story: can you give me a little advice? Do you like my writing style or do you prefer something more informative? Any advice on gameplay?
Attachments
strijder20
Wallowing in irony
Reserve
strijder20
Wallowing in irony
Reserve (Round 1 is written in the post before the previous post)
christos200
Never tell me the odds
good update.
strijder20
Wallowing in irony
And it happens again. Poor Romans get enslaved and shipped to Northern Africa, while the Africans are on the verge of researching new military technology. The Romans still stick to their primitive bows, because their two sources of metal have skirmishers sitting on it.
An French artist from the border of France and Rome decides to tell his view of the world to all leaders. He obviously places France first as most cultured nation (he doesn't want to be beheaded) and because of his Roman roots decides to humiliate the great Malinese empire by putting them eighth of the seventeen great empires in the world.
The city of Pig Iron is founded. Why such a weird name? Because the ore used for the advanced Malinese swords, iron, was found in the hills nearby, and because there were pig-like creatures nearby too.
"I need Marble" the beautiful queen said to Musa.
"Why?"
"Because I want an enormous cube placed on my body when I die."
"A cube? Isn't that a bit... weird?"
"What else? A ball, a tower, an obelisk?"
"No. What would you say of a ... pyramid?"
"That's a lovely idea! So can you put your signature here, Musa?"
"What's a signature?"
"Oh, I forgot you haven't researched writing yet. Just put it here, it allows me to buy Marble from Carthage."
"All right."
Near Rome, a strange battle took place. A Roman batallion was fighting a horde of wild boars for food, but was losing (Romans aren't very good with bows. If only they had something else, a sword and an armour perhaps...) . Then a Carthaginian Warband came along, promptly attacking the boars (they thought the boars were Romans, and the Romans some innocent foreigners). After the boars were defeated, the Romans took care of the wounds of the Carthaginians. Mansa heard this story and suddenly felt the urge to make peace with Rome. After thinking for half a second he realised this was nonsense and kept warring.
So, that was the second round. We almost took over Rome. Next goal? Probably colonising+cottage spamming Mali, then cottagespamming the Amazone?
We succeeded in all Carthage's goals, by the way. Hurray!
An French artist from the border of France and Rome decides to tell his view of the world to all leaders. He obviously places France first as most cultured nation (he doesn't want to be beheaded) and because of his Roman roots decides to humiliate the great Malinese empire by putting them eighth of the seventeen great empires in the world.
The city of Pig Iron is founded. Why such a weird name? Because the ore used for the advanced Malinese swords, iron, was found in the hills nearby, and because there were pig-like creatures nearby too.
"I need Marble" the beautiful queen said to Musa.
"Why?"
"Because I want an enormous cube placed on my body when I die."
"A cube? Isn't that a bit... weird?"
"What else? A ball, a tower, an obelisk?"
"No. What would you say of a ... pyramid?"
"That's a lovely idea! So can you put your signature here, Musa?"
"What's a signature?"
"Oh, I forgot you haven't researched writing yet. Just put it here, it allows me to buy Marble from Carthage."
"All right."
Near Rome, a strange battle took place. A Roman batallion was fighting a horde of wild boars for food, but was losing (Romans aren't very good with bows. If only they had something else, a sword and an armour perhaps...) . Then a Carthaginian Warband came along, promptly attacking the boars (they thought the boars were Romans, and the Romans some innocent foreigners). After the boars were defeated, the Romans took care of the wounds of the Carthaginians. Mansa heard this story and suddenly felt the urge to make peace with Rome. After thinking for half a second he realised this was nonsense and kept warring.
So, that was the second round. We almost took over Rome. Next goal? Probably colonising+cottage spamming Mali, then cottagespamming the Amazone?
We succeeded in all Carthage's goals, by the way. Hurray!
strijder20
Wallowing in irony
A round full of warring, warring, warring and expanding! Featuring the destruction of three civs (guess who), a research rate which increases by 300 % and lots of uh... other things.
Romans just bought brains in one of their non-existent (they haven't got currency yet) markets! Instead of archer-worker-settler-workboat spamming, they made a galley and sunk mine. It was empty, though. I built a new one.
Catapults and a bunch of swordsmen besieging Rome. It falls at the cost of three catapults despite the 2 times 50 % and one time 80% odds(I told you the RNG deity would be back). There is still a culture-flipped from the Greek city left.
Gems popped
I'll change the historical condition in the first post from gold to gems, as I just realised there is no gold near Mali's historical start.
Yes, peace and friendship, and 5 or so civilizations, and my army, and 100 tiles, and the fact your army will be obsolete when it reaches me due to the enormous distance it has to travel.
Jippee, event! It's useless though, as Isabella will get backstabbed by one of her Buddhist buddies later in the game and will die (who would that be
).
Bye Rome. I didn't even use catapults : the sheer force of CR2 swordsmen was enough.
Our scout reported the defence of Madrid was feeble. Holy city shrine + weak defence + my army + Izzy is mad = ...
WAR
NO Louis, you have to attack HER, not me! Oh, you haven't researched writing yet, that's why you didn't understand my letter...
Not that I care: the Malinese army is large enough to kill everyone! Panzers? Just recruit a spears! Praetorians? Sit on their iron mines! Yoshi parrots? Oh... uh... never mind.
My army, heading for Paris/ Madrid. War phants ftw! Historical play ftw ( Hannibal's elephants
)
To be continued!
By the way: Carthago's conditions have been accomplished. We have the most cities near the Med (I check WB), we have Rome (like you saw) and as there is no time condition on the second goal, we'll probably get a city in Spain too.
To... be... continued.
Romans just bought brains in one of their non-existent (they haven't got currency yet) markets! Instead of archer-worker-settler-workboat spamming, they made a galley and sunk mine. It was empty, though. I built a new one.
Catapults and a bunch of swordsmen besieging Rome. It falls at the cost of three catapults despite the 2 times 50 % and one time 80% odds(I told you the RNG deity would be back). There is still a culture-flipped from the Greek city left.
Gems popped
I'll change the historical condition in the first post from gold to gems, as I just realised there is no gold near Mali's historical start.Yes, peace and friendship, and 5 or so civilizations, and my army, and 100 tiles, and the fact your army will be obsolete when it reaches me due to the enormous distance it has to travel.
Jippee, event! It's useless though, as Isabella will get backstabbed by one of her Buddhist buddies later in the game and will die (who would that be
).Bye Rome. I didn't even use catapults : the sheer force of CR2 swordsmen was enough.
Our scout reported the defence of Madrid was feeble. Holy city shrine + weak defence + my army + Izzy is mad = ...
WARNO Louis, you have to attack HER, not me! Oh, you haven't researched writing yet, that's why you didn't understand my letter...
Not that I care: the Malinese army is large enough to kill everyone! Panzers? Just recruit a spears! Praetorians? Sit on their iron mines! Yoshi parrots? Oh... uh... never mind.
My army, heading for Paris/ Madrid. War phants ftw! Historical play ftw ( Hannibal's elephants
)To be continued!
By the way: Carthago's conditions have been accomplished. We have the most cities near the Med (I check WB), we have Rome (like you saw) and as there is no time condition on the second goal, we'll probably get a city in Spain too.
To... be... continued.
Attachments
Mosher
Mushroom dad
Great update.
Yoshiegg737
Jungo Jungo
You backstabber 
strijder20
Wallowing in irony
Thanks Mosher!
Going to write the second part of third round.
Can you give any suggestions on gameplay/ story writing?
And isn't there an easier way to get images in the posts? Right now I'm using thumbnails, but most people seem not to do so.
Going to write the second part of third round.
Can you give any suggestions on gameplay/ story writing?
And isn't there an easier way to get images in the posts? Right now I'm using thumbnails, but most people seem not to do so.
Yoshiegg737
Jungo Jungo
Use an Image Hosting site like Imageshack
hoplitejoe
Top fun-poster
- Joined
- Mar 22, 2010
- Messages
- 5,470
Fixed
Fixed.
Dhoomstriker
Girlie Builder
- Joined
- Aug 12, 2006
- Messages
- 13,465
It's nice to see someone actually INTENTIONALLY capturing a City at the south end of Rome. Normally, you see people coming in from the north, so it makes for a nice change.
That's a nice break in spawning the Gem Mine in Carthage! Be sure to go and put a Road on that square, though, if you haven't done so already!
Also, it's neat to see that the Indian Civ got destroyed. You should expect to find a massive China later in the game, though.
That's a nice break in spawning the Gem Mine in Carthage!
Be sure to go and put a Road on that square, though, if you haven't done so already! Also, it's neat to see that the Indian Civ got destroyed. You should expect to find a massive China later in the game, though.
strijder20
Wallowing in irony
It's nice to see someone actually INTENTIONALLY capturing a City at the south end of Rome. Normally, you see people coming in from the north, so it makes for a nice change.
That's a nice break in spawning the Gem Mine in Carthage!
Also, it's neat to see that the Indian Civ got destroyed. You should expect to find a massive China later in the game, though.
I actually forgot to build a road on that square, and only built it 50 turns later
As none of my cities were unhappy, that wasn't a grave mistake though.
I already played the fourth round, so I know what happened with India. China is massive, but not first (I lead, Cathy is second). Probably because Japan managed to plunk cities down in Khmer territory and China itself.
I also know what happened with India:
Spoiler :
Ah, and about the Roman city: it auto-razed
I resettled it, though.
strijder20
Wallowing in irony
Has it to do with Parrot Heads?
strijder20
Wallowing in irony
So here is the second part of the third round!
Featuring my first little wonder, parr... ties, and more!
Paris was taken with few losses (2 catapults). Hurray for the ToA, Stonehenge (will really come in handy) and unlocked government forms! The two settles great prophets are good too. Pity the city is a bit choked by German and English culture.
The French still have a city left : they must have founded it somewhere out of my LoS. I promptly send my army to explore Europe. 10 turns later I still haven't found them. Maybe they are in Ireland? For some reason, England never seems to settle it
From now on, we are Mali, not Carthage. This city will become great later on (Seven cottaged floodplains!
) Many, many more cities will be settled in Southern Africa this round, both by me, the barbs and Egypt.
A monkey from Southern Africa (check who wrote it. No comments.) decided to make an atlas with the size of civilizations listed. For some reason, the monkey knew the exact size of every nation on Earth, including some nations even mighty Mali hadn't discovered yet. Musa was once again placed as last, but this time he swore he would take revenge (by REXing into Africa)
Ireland! I told you On a side note: Maria decides to becomes 550 years old and then get her first baby, Jesus. He promptly lightbulbs theology and dies (like GP do after they lightbulb techs)
We redeclare on Spain. Redeclare? Yes, I held a short ceasefire. Why? Both Spain and Paris decided to attack Rome, and their stacks (5-6) units simultaneously reached the city. So I just made a peace treaty with Spain :wink:
Madrid was very easy to take: no axes, weakened archers (catapults).
Bye Izzy! Your shrine will be very handy in keeping our economy up. Pity the Oracle doesn't have any effect anymore. Why do wonders stop giving culture in captured cities?
Paper. Anyone knows why I took this screenshot?
Yep. UoS is one of the historical goals. Thanks for reading the first post!
The Mausoleum of Mausollos, my favourite wonder, was build in Paris. It'll help in fighting off foreign culture, and prolonged golden ages are great too.
Free health for temporary unhappiness? All my cities are two or more under their happy cap, so why not!
Musa pointed out that the purple leaves with a white skull and green liquid dripping of them of the medical plant might be poisonous, and this way saved many lives across the Malinese empire.
That's the third round for you!
Sorry for the little pics, next ones will be bigger I'm still learning how to put images in posts
Featuring my first little wonder, parr... ties, and more!
Paris was taken with few losses (2 catapults). Hurray for the ToA, Stonehenge (will really come in handy) and unlocked government forms! The two settles great prophets are good too. Pity the city is a bit choked by German and English culture.
The French still have a city left : they must have founded it somewhere out of my LoS. I promptly send my army to explore Europe. 10 turns later I still haven't found them. Maybe they are in Ireland? For some reason, England never seems to settle it
From now on, we are Mali, not Carthage. This city will become great later on (Seven cottaged floodplains!
) Many, many more cities will be settled in Southern Africa this round, both by me, the barbs and Egypt.A monkey from Southern Africa (check who wrote it. No comments.) decided to make an atlas with the size of civilizations listed. For some reason, the monkey knew the exact size of every nation on Earth, including some nations even mighty Mali hadn't discovered yet. Musa was once again placed as last, but this time he swore he would take revenge (by REXing into Africa)
Ireland! I told you
On a side note: Maria decides to becomes 550 years old and then get her first baby, Jesus. He promptly lightbulbs theology and dies (like GP do after they lightbulb techs)We redeclare on Spain. Redeclare? Yes, I held a short ceasefire. Why? Both Spain and Paris decided to attack Rome, and their stacks (5-6) units simultaneously reached the city. So I just made a peace treaty with Spain :wink:
Madrid was very easy to take: no axes, weakened archers (catapults).
Bye Izzy! Your shrine will be very handy in keeping our economy up. Pity the Oracle doesn't have any effect anymore. Why do wonders stop giving culture in captured cities?
Paper. Anyone knows why I took this screenshot?
Yep. UoS is one of the historical goals. Thanks for reading the first post!
The Mausoleum of Mausollos, my favourite wonder, was build in Paris. It'll help in fighting off foreign culture, and prolonged golden ages are great too.
Free health for temporary unhappiness? All my cities are two or more under their happy cap, so why not!
Musa pointed out that the purple leaves with a white skull and green liquid dripping of them of the medical plant might be poisonous, and this way saved many lives across the Malinese empire.
That's the third round for you!
Sorry for the little pics, next ones will be bigger
I'm still learning how to put images in posts 
