thats weird, since in my immortal game when im the most behind its only around 6 techs and 3 policies, at around classical-medieval. or maybe thats just authority france with a bunch of barbs killing/cs bullying, idk.
getting oracle requires a lot of intensive planning beforehand (basically have to almost beeline for the tech) but i think its more than worth it, especially for progress civs. however there are other really good wonders (pyramids/stonehenge, terracotta army, hagia/boro) that are reachable even with a regular start, so from my experience getting these allow me to snowball and catch up pretty quickly.
also in vp (prince+) wars are basically inevitable, its just how much you are conquering. even with tradition i find myself at least taking the capital of my nearest neighbor just to have 1 less competitor in the end game, thanks to late game supply cap issues and (very likely) intensive nuking when ur about to win the game.