An anonymous writing on God, religion, alligators, and Captain Kangaroo.

[tombeef]

I can tell you that the following (essay?) will probably offend a lot of people. I also hope it isn't to innapropriate. But, in seeing as how much publicity God debates are getting on these forums, I have decided to post this (essay? article?). My frined emailed it to me a year ago, I have no clue who wrote it or where it came from. This (essay?) does not neccessarily reflect my opinions or beliefs, not did I edit it or write it in any way. I just found it thought provoking, and wanted to get some other opinions on it. So, without further ado, here it is. And yes, I will probably be slammed, flamed, and punished for this, even though it is not my work.

You know what? Captain Kangaroo is a lot like Jesus Christ. I know what you’re thinking: how could I ever compare Captain Kangaroo to our lord and savior, but take a minute and think about it. They both preach morals to children, make tons of money for their individual enterprises, and their both not real. In fact, I would go as far to say that Captain Kangaroo is Jesus Christ, in disguise of course. He disguises his true identity for the very real possibility that people would disown Christianity if they ever found out their lord and savior was nothing but a crime fighting kangaroo. Well, if you think about it, my theory isn’t as far fetched as half the stuff actually in the Bible, and if you can accept all of that with no proof or scientific validity, you sure as hell can believe that Jesus is a kangaroo. My theory doesn’t end there either. It is my strong belief that god is a crocodile. I know what you’re thinking: how could I ever believe that god is a crocodile, but take a minute and think about it. Why shouldn’t god be a crocodile? How far fetched is it to think of god as crocodile, when you have never seen him yourself or know anyone who has? Maybe if you think of god as person, or a human being, the philosophy of religion becomes more believable, but when you think of god as an alligator, or Jesus as a kangaroo, it all seems sort of absurd. Well, I guess that’s my philosophy on religion. I have never seen Jesus or God, so as far as I’m concerned, they might as well look like a pop tart or a bowl raisin-bran. I guess I just don’t understand how so many people can have such certain conviction that they would waste an hour of their Sunday each week, especially during football season. It amazes me that people devote their entire life to something that they don’t know exists, or at least can’t prove exists. It amazes me further that people devote their entire life to something that causes so much hate and degradation to the world. Johanes Kepler, a Greek scientist, once said “ organized religion was created to force people to hate each other”. In many respects, I believe that to be true. If god does exist, I find it hard to believe that his memo to future generations would be, “kiss my ass every Sunday and you won’t eternally burn in hell.” God must be the most insecure crocodile on the face of the earth if he needs six billion people to tell him how great he is every Sunday at nine. It is my personal, and widely unaccepted belief that Churches exploit what people most fear in order to control them, and they just use “god” as a medium to do just that; screw you over. I know what you’re thinking: how could I ever believe that Churches are so manipulative and evil, but take a minute and think about it. Churches don’t pay taxes, and receive so much monetary compensation for their community service; they’re currently most successful business in the world. People will believe what they wish however, and that will continue to be the case. If you think that god is a donkey, an iceberg, or a person you’ll eventually find out your right despite any logic you may or may not defy in the process. In the end it doesn’t really matter though, because weather you spent your life rejecting god, or embracing him, you’ll be dead and rotting in the ground incapable of doing either, and it won’t matter one bit if god is a clothes hanger, a scone, or in this case a crocodile.

 

[Abaddon]

meh... not offencive in the least.

 

[Leonel]

Meh it's nothing I haven't seen around the forums before.

 

[FredLC]

Moderator Action: Debate about religion is always healthy and welcomed in CFC, and even debates in which there is comparison of religious icons to absurd caracthers is something perfectly acceptable when that is used as an argumentative tool from those who indeed consider these icons absurd and need to demonstrate that.

This text, however, open with premisses clearly offensive to people of faith, is judgmental and provocative from the start and offer no concessions to their overview, while at the same strikes mercilessly over values they hold dear.

In other words this text is trolling.

CFC has a tradition of religious debates, and even some have originated from questionable opening posts. However, I'll not take chances with this one - there are far better ways to open debates on this topic.

Thread closed.
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