Diripienda Africanus
- Thread starter cpm4001
- Start date
Hehe. Very nice thx. Sry for the impatiens..
Imo you strike a very good balance between storytelling with humor, pictures, and amount of text.
It could carry a bit more text if you feel like it, and some thougths about future plans would ad to the strategic part of the entertainment.
But bottom line is: A lot of fun to read!
Hey, no problem in regards nagging...a gentle shove to get me to actually write the update was apparently what I needed (so thanks!)
Yeah, this story could probably do with some more text, but as a lot of the humor rides on me writing about what's going in the pictures I need the pictures to have stuff to write about. Also, I'm kinda lazy, and writing even vaguely funny stuff consistently is fairly difficult (and the more you try to write the harder it gets). I probably will introduce more information on the future plans starting soonish, but not sure precisely when.
with Dahebbie. Great job so far.
And yes, it probably was aliens.
Thanks! And glad that happened the way it did; I was just waiting for an excuse to break out that meme...
lurker's comment: Random centered spoiler buttons FTW!
Ah, so someone noticed that, did they? All depends on if you hit Center and then Spoiler or the other way around...and glad to have you lurking/reading, Arexander!
GreekAnalyzer
Back from the Dead
- Joined
- May 9, 2013
- Messages
- 1,936
Feel free!
Silverman6083
History-Lover
He thinks he can keep a steady schedule. From experience it won't happen 
But I'll just put it out there that that last update had me laughing really hard...
Oh you don't know me. I overschedule everything.
...the schedule will blow up. Of course. But glad you liked the last update.
"This medal is for service in Abysinnia. This, for service in North Africa. These medals, they are for servicing Fiats."
Not Much Happens
As the Italian explorers and settlers poured into Africa from the North (but not the West, despite what the splash text says), word suddenly came that someone had lost their original capital!
Spoiler :
"Ah," said a general, "But how do we know of this if we don't know who it was who lost the capital?"
"What?" asked the other generals. "That sentence made no sense."
"I know," replied the first general, "The script-writer is an idiot."
Meanwhile, riflemen to the south of the holdings in Libya were engaged in a life-or-death struggle with
Spoiler :
As was the exploration team headed by Samuel Baker:
Spoiler :
The riflemen stood their ground bravely, mostly because it was lunchtime. But as Samuel Baker ran away, he spotted something:
Spoiler :
Yes, by discovering King Solomon's Mines, he not only made the populace happier (because of the book and films about it), but also earned Italy 300 Victory Points!
Spoiler :
But who was keeping score? That remained the question...
Meanwhile, another brave group of settlers was "hired" to go do what they did best (settle) and another brave exploration team was "hired" to go do what they did best (explore), and Another Green Earth wouldn't be released for another several decades (but would be a pretty decent album, though not as good as Taking Tiger Mountain (By Strategy).)
Spoiler :
Everyone immediately hopped in the water, ignoring the warning to not go swimming until an hour after eating a heavy meal.
Spoiler :
Meanwhile, someone denounced Germany, while the riflemen held off the Barbarian Hoards (tm)
Spoiler :
Meanwhile, during his Very Brave Retreat, Samuel Baker tripped over something sticking out of the ground. "Aha," he said, "An Artifact! I'd best Construct an Archaeological Site to earn Italy 30 Victory Points once I extract this."
Spoiler :
Jules Grevy stopped by the Italian embassy on his way to a costume party (he was going as Napoleon, which is why the leaderscreen is the same. It totally isn't because the Devs didn't make a new screen because it took too long.) "How about we make a Declaration of Friendship?" he said.
The Italians accepted, mostly just in case he really WAS Napoleon and was planning to invade again.
Spoiler :
This annoyed Germany, of course.
Spoiler :
But Belgium said that they were friends with Portugal and thought the Ottomans smelled.
Spoiler :
And Italian units really did pour into North Africa. Here, we see two Workers (coughcough) "hard at work" on building the Tripoli-Benghazi railroad, the many Brave Riflemen defending these Workers (and also defending the Brave Group of Settlers), and the Not-Quite-So-Brave group of Explorers going south the explore and loot.
Spoiler :
We also see some Genuine Ancient Statue Material, which someone had a theory about:
Spoiler :
"What the heck does that have to do with ANYTHING?!" asked the generals (and everyone else) incredulously. "It's a complete nonsequitor and makes no sense!"
"Well, @cpm4001 is quite lazy," replied the "expert", "And he put me in for a cheap laugh."
"Ah, that explains it then. Still doesn't change the fact that it isn't funny."
"Yeah, this whole update has kinda sucked."
"Indeed."
Spoiler :
"Hey, look, Jules Grevy/Napoleon agrees with us!"
Spoiler :
"So does everyone in North Africa."
Suddenly, a voice was heard:
"Well, if you lot want to play it that way, I'm going to withhold all the rest of the screenshots I took during that play session for the next update. So there!"
"Thank goodness we can stop with this farce for now," said the generals. "Who's for lunch?"
Do those crazy Italians not even know good update when they see one?
Glad you think it was good, but honestly that was one of the most boring play sessions I've had for ages. I'm waiting for the trade routes to Egypt to run out before I DoW them for the Suez, and getting stuff from the "original" Italian cities down into North Africa is a pain, even with the Italian's UA (which is basically the Danish one in the base game). I went and edited those screenshots towards the end just to make something funny.
...Hoping next update will have some more stuff happen in it, but I dunno.
No mods, just the Scramble for Africa scenario from the Brave New World expansion pack. Glad you're enjoying it; should be more up tomorrow or Sunday!
Silverman6083
History-Lover
All right, all right, so I picked up a cold and didn't update this last week. You win, Silverman...
While nothing was happening, the suspicions of officers in Intelligence had been growing. Who was this so-called "King Leopold of Belgium"? Why was he not on the mapthe first turn at the start of the Scramble? Why did he speak Portuguese, and not French? Suddenly, a clever officer noticed something. Comparing this man:
With this one:
The conclusion was inescapable. King Leopold was, in fact, Santa Claus. A composite photo proved the fact:
This would shape the future of Italio-"Belgian" relations, as the Italians tried to be extra good to get more stuff at Christmas.
In the meantime, Portugal said that the Egyptians stank:
With the Portuguese-Egyptian cotton trade sunk, Milo Minderbender bought the entire crop, coated it with chocolate, and sold it to mess halls. Portugal, on the other hand, decided to buddy up with Italy, for some reason or another**
Then, a Great Engineer appeared in Caligari!
He would do something of note probably, but unfortunately his autobiography is written in impenetrable technical jargon, that we can't figure out.
While this stuff was happening, Mirko Seljan had been knocked about a lot. Seriously injured, he and his team tripped over a thing sticking out of the ground. "Aha," said Mirko. "An Artifact! I will extract it from the ground and ship it back to Europe for 30 Victory Points!"
Then, a regiment of Riflemen was trained in Palermo. Though the generals would have preferred to have something like a 5 Regular/2 Engineer/5 Artillery/2 Cavalry ratio in the armies, as they could only stack one unit on eachtile part of the ground, they just kept recruiting riflemen. Because why not?
Then, the other explorer (who I forgot the name of and am too lazy to go back and check about) extracted his artifact from the ground. "Aha," he said, "I have extracted an artifact and earned 30 Victory Points! Lucky me!"
And the French built a long rail line!
And Portugal and Italy being friendly made "Belgium" (AKA Santa) happy!
And the Amazing New Conglomo (tm) Steam-O-Cook went on sale for only $39.99 plus shipping and handling, but order now and get 2 - Yes, 2!! - Conglomo (tm) Steam-O-Cooks for only $19.99 plus shipping and handling!
Then, some roads were torn up.
Not as exciting as that Steam-O-Cook, huh?
And the Great Engineer built a Manufactory that Manufactors Manufactored Goods.
And a bank was built in Caligari:
And an explorer trained in Catanzaro:
And Asmara founded in the Libyan desert:
Wait, that last thing was actually interesting! What's gone wrong with this LP?!
No, it's not, shut up. I'm sorry I ever put you in this LP.
The city was starving initially, but after a hospital was built, everyone was healthy and happy and training workers...
...and buying up lots and lots of land toannoy Egypt secure the border.
Meanwhile, some Workers fixed some Oil Wells that roving evil nasty smelly Barbarian hoards had pillaged ages ago. Or maybe they were Ottomans. I can't remember.
In Diplomatic News (tm), France and Italy allied, which made Portugal happy.
Then another Explorer was trained to go do some exploring in unexplored lands.
And a bunch of deals ended, after the other nations stopped paying rent on their second embassies in Palermo (see, they got wise to the fact that they were being ripped off. Curiously, a number of "accidental" fires broke at the embassies the next day, but the Mafia was definitely not involved.)
Then, this photo was taken.
Either a) something happened in it that I've overlooked, or b) I hit F12 by mistake. Probably the latter.
But soon, something else would happen. We hope.
*I'm running out of quotes about Italy.
**Yes, it's new "cpmlp", the only Let's Play in which YOU, the readers, have to think up the jokes to make it funny!
"Australia Australia Australia we love you amen crackatube"*
Even Less Happens
Even Less Happens
While nothing was happening, the suspicions of officers in Intelligence had been growing. Who was this so-called "King Leopold of Belgium"? Why was he not on the map
Spoiler :
With this one:
Spoiler :
The conclusion was inescapable. King Leopold was, in fact, Santa Claus. A composite photo proved the fact:
Spoiler :
This would shape the future of Italio-"Belgian" relations, as the Italians tried to be extra good to get more stuff at Christmas.
In the meantime, Portugal said that the Egyptians stank:
Spoiler :
With the Portuguese-Egyptian cotton trade sunk, Milo Minderbender bought the entire crop, coated it with chocolate, and sold it to mess halls. Portugal, on the other hand, decided to buddy up with Italy, for some reason or another**
Spoiler :
Then, a Great Engineer appeared in Caligari!
Spoiler :
He would do something of note probably, but unfortunately his autobiography is written in impenetrable technical jargon, that we can't figure out.
While this stuff was happening, Mirko Seljan had been knocked about a lot. Seriously injured, he and his team tripped over a thing sticking out of the ground. "Aha," said Mirko. "An Artifact! I will extract it from the ground and ship it back to Europe for 30 Victory Points!"
Spoiler :
Then, a regiment of Riflemen was trained in Palermo. Though the generals would have preferred to have something like a 5 Regular/2 Engineer/5 Artillery/2 Cavalry ratio in the armies, as they could only stack one unit on each
Then, the other explorer (who I forgot the name of and am too lazy to go back and check about) extracted his artifact from the ground. "Aha," he said, "I have extracted an artifact and earned 30 Victory Points! Lucky me!"
Spoiler :
And the French built a long rail line!
Spoiler :
And Portugal and Italy being friendly made "Belgium" (AKA Santa) happy!
Spoiler :
And the Amazing New Conglomo (tm) Steam-O-Cook went on sale for only $39.99 plus shipping and handling, but order now and get 2 - Yes, 2!! - Conglomo (tm) Steam-O-Cooks for only $19.99 plus shipping and handling!
Spoiler :
Yes, I ripped this photo off from @ThatStrategyGuy's Then, some roads were torn up.
Spoiler :
Not as exciting as that Steam-O-Cook, huh?
And the Great Engineer built a Manufactory that Manufactors Manufactored Goods.
Spoiler :
And a bank was built in Caligari:
Spoiler :
And an explorer trained in Catanzaro:
Spoiler :
And Asmara founded in the Libyan desert:
Spoiler :
Wait, that last thing was actually interesting! What's gone wrong with this LP?!
Spoiler :
[/IMG]
No, it's not, shut up. I'm sorry I ever put you in this LP.
The city was starving initially, but after a hospital was built, everyone was healthy and happy and training workers...
Spoiler :
...and buying up lots and lots of land to
Spoiler :
Meanwhile, some Workers fixed some Oil Wells that roving evil nasty smelly Barbarian hoards had pillaged ages ago. Or maybe they were Ottomans. I can't remember.
Spoiler :
In Diplomatic News (tm), France and Italy allied, which made Portugal happy.
Spoiler :
Spoiler :
Then another Explorer was trained to go do some exploring in unexplored lands.
Spoiler :
And a bunch of deals ended, after the other nations stopped paying rent on their second embassies in Palermo (see, they got wise to the fact that they were being ripped off. Curiously, a number of "accidental" fires broke at the embassies the next day, but the Mafia was definitely not involved.)
Then, this photo was taken.
Spoiler :
Either a) something happened in it that I've overlooked, or b) I hit F12 by mistake. Probably the latter.
But soon, something else would happen. We hope.
*I'm running out of quotes about Italy.
**Yes, it's new "cpmlp", the only Let's Play in which YOU, the readers, have to think up the jokes to make it funny!
Silverman6083
History-Lover
I'm just here to claim my victory don't mind me 
Also good update, even if its late 
Also good update, even if its late 
Just want to warn you that I may threaten Heerlo's long record of no updates for a while, as this is on hold until late August/early September. Getting new computer at long last (maybe fewer random shut-downs?!) and I want to make sure everything'll transfer properly. Then, of course, we also have classes resuming so there'll be more stuff on my plate, but that's far too important to worry about...
