Well, that's just not how I play it. I tend to expand a lot.
So do I, actually. I rarely end a game with fewer than 15 cities, and usually more than 20. And that's with me usually avoiding wars unless I'm going domination.
As I said, I view mid-game expansion as essential for religious victory assuming no Pangea type maps. Sending waves of Apostles across vast oceans just isn't feasible. You need a city on the continent to pump out Apostles.
I disagree. It doesn't exactly matter whether your apostles can get started immediately, or whether they have to travel for 10 turns first. Besides, the brunt of the work is usually done by two or three apostles with the Debater promotion that are on the front line the entire time (and get healed by gurus). Also, there's benefits to having Moksha in an established city for extra faith (and maybe other bonuses? not sure), and you'll want to purchase your apostles in his city for the free second promotion (which also cuts down on the number of apostles you need in total, after all it doubles the chance for getting a good promotion like proselytizer or translator; let alone the combo that can convert an entire civ all by itself).
Also, the mid-game is where I tend to be winning the game if I go religious. If that's the victory type I'm going for, I usually decided on it early on (or even before the game started) and get it pre-200 turns.
For cultural, you can get by without it, but it often helps a lot. I do always try to expand onto unclaimed territory, like islands, but will also expand onto continents, especially to get quick trade routes that don't require harbors.
I get the urge to expand, but it's not like you have to settle a city within loyalty pressure range in order to be in trade route range. Additionally, strategically placed trading posts from earlier trade routes greatly extend your range, and with how tourism scales it's not like having a trade route to every civilization is relevant until you're 150-200 turns in anyway, so you have plenty of time to plan your trading posts.
Diplomatic victory is just stupid, I never get that, and even when I've tried I get Cultural or Science first.
It's a little gimmicky (though less so than in earlier editions of Civ). The most important aspect of a diplomatic victory is actually to learn, over time, what the AI tends to vote in the World Congress. Rather than vote for the option you want to see, you need to vote for what the AI is likely to vote, because that gets you a diplomatic victory point. For example, the AI will
always vote to ban whichever luxury resource the most civs have access to, but they themselves do not. And on the other hand, they will almost always only assign a single vote to certain other proposals, such as the Urban Development Treaty, so if you have enough diplo favor, you can enforce your option.
In addition, there's three more things to keep in mind. Make sure you get all three world wonders that give diplomatic victory points, for +7 points, win all emergencies that can give diplomatic victory points (note that most can be won by throwing gold at them, and the great people ones usually occur late enough that you should win them simply because you're ahead of the AI), and last but not least: if you are close to winning a diplomatic victory (I don't know the exact threshold), all the AIs will always vote for you to lose diplomatic victory points, together pooling far too many votes for you to overcome. Therefore, go with the counterintuitive option of voting for
yourself to
lose diplomatic victory points - just one vote will do. You can't stop it, and by voting along with the rest, you
earn a diplomatic victory point from voting with the majority - meaning you effectively only lose 1 point rather than two, and you can put the rest of your diplo favor in the other two proposals, allowing you to earn 2 points there.
My point is that Loyalty encourages what I consider to be poor behavior. It simply encourages turtling. Just build up a close collection of 7-10 cities and then turtle there and sit going for Science, or alternatively, go for Domination and just raze most cities.
I disagree. As I said earlier, I usually end a game with more than 20 cities, and I do not raze cities unless they interfere too much with my planned city placement in an area (usually only happens if an AI forward settles me). Yet, I never have loyalty issues. It's just something you have to calculate in when you decide where to settle or what to conquer.
One of the tings that I enjoyed most about standard civ was continuous and late game expansion, getting cities all over the place, going after resources. I'd especially try to identify oil ASAP and then often need to rush a Settler over to some tundra region on another continent to secure it, but now that mostly doesn't work. I mean the positioning of resources also makes Loyalty quite a pain, because you often need to settle some resource that only exists on a few places on the map and you don't always have the luxury of meeting a bunch of conditions to secure the loyalty needed to grab that Oil or Niter or whatever.
I do this rushing as well, in particular with oil indeed, but it's almost never a problem for me to find a spot where I can get 2-3 resources without the city having loyalty issues. Often on a small island or something like that.