I'm a control freak

[RedRalph]

You sound like my dad.

I took after my mom and prefer an 'unplanned' vacation or day where I know that I'll get stuff done, I just don't know when.

Is Mrs. RRW like you? If not, try to take after her, usually years of marriage will mellow you out (like what happened to my dad).

she's probably about the same overall as me easygoingwise, but in different ways.

 

[Bronx Warlord]

your feeling was right. It's not something I'm proud of, it dosent cause me any major life obstacles or anyhting, but a lot of stress stems from it. Its to do with my childhood (wish there was a Woody Allen on a shrinks couch smily), but I was sort of hoping to hear form people who might have successfully dealt with similar behaviour

Well someone always has to be " that guy " in any group. Sometimes it's for the better if your ideas work out and have a positive impact on whatever your doing. Now the real clincher in this case is do you come off as well meaning or like a jerk? Cause being a control freak also depends on personality.

 

[RedRalph]

Well someone always has to be " that guy " in any group. Sometimes it's for the better if your ideas work out and have a positive impact on whatever your doing. Now the real clincher in this case is do you come off as well meaning or like a jerk? Cause being a control freak also depends on personality.

I dont come off as a bullying bastard or anything, no. i have plenty of friends. It dosent really cause them grief, it causes me grief. I dont throw a tanturm if we're going to a pub I dont like, it just bugs me.

 

[RedRalph]

My advice would be to try to be conscious of the "SEP" boundaries.

Well, thanks for it. It's almost certaintly good advice.

 

[Bronx Warlord]

I dont come off as a bullying bastard or anything, no. i have plenty of friends. It dosent really cause them grief, it causes me grief. I dont throw a tanturm if we're going to a pub I dont like, it just bugs me.

I think you should just try and relax, be open to diffrent things and if all else fails and your not having a good time order shots

 

[Cheezy the Wiz]

Is anyone else?

I suspect its probably a fairly common character trait among people who play strategy games. I'm not the bullying type, but when there is some situation that involves me and I cant control it, I get exasperated and irritated.

For example, if I'm trying to ring someone for whatever reason and cant get a hold of the, it bugs the hell out of me. I keep trying and trying (not every minute, maybe every half hour) until I get them, and it bugs the hell out of people. On a night out, I always try and arrange where the group is going (usually I get my way) cause I'm worried the others will pick a stupid pub, turn up way too late etc etc. when people tell me their troubles, I find it nearly impossible not to give advice, even if they arent really looking for it.

Anyone else a control freak? anyone used to be one and now isnt?

Not really. The only things I demand are honesty, competence, and information. I don't like surprises. To use your example: if we're going to a crappy pub, I want to know beforehand, so I can prepare and have the correct mindset for it. I expect people to do things when they say they will, where they say they will, and how they say they will, and to inform others when changes to those things affect the way things will unfold: so if you will be late, you should say so, if we're moving something and all you can get is the car instead of the truck you thought you could get, you should say so. I don't like surprises.

 

[musekick]

Explain, please

Well, it is just very difficult to plan and organize and list and such like I used to when you're trying to do so with a person who flat-out refuses to participate. For example, you said that you like to plan nights out. Imagine trying to do that with a person who won't tell you their schedule, won't dedicate him/herself to what they want to do, and won't outright agree when you just go ahead and plan it all yourself, even though they may actually want to do that. Eventually the urge to plan just... disipates. I'm still a control freak over my own affairs, though. It just doesn't wash over onto others like it used to.

Oh, and the telephone thing bothers me, too. Especially if you leave a message and they never get back to you.

 

[Phlegmak]

Is anyone else?

I suspect its probably a fairly common character trait among people who play strategy games. I'm not the bullying type, but when there is some situation that involves me and I cant control it, I get exasperated and irritated.

For example, if I'm trying to ring someone for whatever reason and cant get a hold of the, it buigs the hell out of me. I keep trying and trying (not every minute, maybe every half hour) until I get them, and it bugs the hell out of people. On a night out, I always try and arrange where the group is going (usually I get my way) cause I'm worried the others will pick a stupid pub, turn up way too late etc etc. when people tell me their troubles, I find it nearly impossible not to give advice, even if they arent really looking for it.

Anyone else a control freak? anyone used to be one and now isnt?

That doesn't sound like "control freak" but more like some sort of anxiety problem.

 

[Richard Cribb]

Is anyone else?

I suspect its probably a fairly common character trait among people who play strategy games. I'm not the bullying type, but when there is some situation that involves me and I cant control it, I get exasperated and irritated.

For example, if I'm trying to ring someone for whatever reason and cant get a hold of the, it buigs the hell out of me. I keep trying and trying (not every minute, maybe every half hour) until I get them, and it bugs the hell out of people. On a night out, I always try and arrange where the group is going (usually I get my way) cause I'm worried the others will pick a stupid pub, turn up way too late etc etc. when people tell me their troubles, I find it nearly impossible not to give advice, even if they arent really looking for it.

Anyone else a control freak? anyone used to be one and now isnt?

I recognize myself quite a lot, especially that thing with the phone.
However, I have no need to control everything around me, it just so happens that I tend to be quite skilled in organizing. Besides, I know my Pappenheimers pretty good.
But I also know that there are others, my wife included, who also can be trusted and i see little reason in interefeing when they are in charge. I guess my attitude can be called a pragmatic one, born out of experience, more than freakish.
As for advices, if people don't ask me then it is usually their loss.

 

[Nylan]

I can be pretty apathetic when it comes to planning activities or making group decisions with friends, but that probably comes from getting shot down too often more than anything else.

I'm also honestly fine with whatever as long as the people are worth spending my time with.

 

[LucyDuke]

To some extent, yes. I haven't got any siblings and I'm still kind of neurotic about things like which shelf in the shower the shampoo is on, I'm still totally neurotic about keeping the markers in the right order. As far as planning, I'm totally easygoing if someone else is planning the plans, but if I've got to plan something, I get somewhat obsessive. When it becomes a problem, I cope by publicly abdicating responsibility for whatever it is I was freaking out about. I can relax if I've made it clear to everyone that it's not my problem anymore.

when people tell me their troubles, I find it nearly impossible not to give advice, even if they arent really looking for it.

Oh definitely.

Regarding the phone, I fear I would drive you crazy. I view, particularly my cell phone, as a convenience for ME to make a call when I want, not as a guaranteed right for others to be able to contact me. In fact, I have it set to not ring for any call unless it is from a very, very limited group of callers. And even then, I'll frequently disregard it and just get back to them later at a time of my choosing.

I am this too. My friends hate it.

Especially if someone calls more than once at a time: if it's an emergency, leave me a message. If you call repeatedly, I'm only going to dig in my heels and turn the phone off completely. I'll call back when I feel like it.

 

[Bill3000]

Of course you're a control freak. You're a communist.