It makes so little sense it's funny

[impervius]

AHHH!

ever wondered where ivory comes from?? Elephants! it is represented by elephants on the map! It represents a herd of elephants!!

 

[Larsz]

Can't believe no one has thrown out the "My tank just got wasted by a Spearman" yet

 

[steview]

You can wage an entire war with Riflemen, without having the faintest clue about Engineering.

Rifleman: "What are those men in shiny suits with really long pointy sticks doing?"
(Bang, Bang, Bang)
Rifleman: "Oh well. I guess we don't need to know."

Stop it lol i just choked on my coffee

 

[Meffy]

My problem is I never seem to get rolls as a resource! Bread, yes. But no rolls!!!

*ponder* Maybe building a mine (with puffs of flame) next to a farm (with wheat) will bake rolls. If you have a hollow tree nearby it will provide the Keebler Elf resource so you can make cookies too.

 

[gettingfat]

For a real hoot, you can also sacrifice slaves to make a modern Wonder. I once finished Broadway with a pop-rush....

In fact, in one game I used Kremlin/slavery pop rush strategy to build Statue of Liberty. Too bad I couldn't rename it Statue of Slavery.

 

[Fragment]

...
8. Queen Elizabeth, Catherine, and Isabella are sexy

Just checked wikipedia. Meh. I wonder if the people from the era actually liked the looks of them, and only the tastes changed.

Can't know, can we?

Regards.

 

[ShaLouZa]

Someone thinking that the Elizabeth if the game is cute is strange enough for me.

"Now that we have Plastics, let's build an absolutely huge dam !"

Strange, indeed... But that dam is the only Wonder I build in _every_ game. +25% prod without building a power station in each city is just what I like. No illness, no Tchernobyl. God bless you, 3 Gorges dam.

 

[Morten Blaabjerg]

You can sacrifice population to rush a missionary!

"Cmon guy, you gotta help convert those infidels to our religion! Youre charismatic!"
"I dunno, man, theyre free to have their gods and stuff..."
"Then we will kill those 6000 slaves!"
"Dont do it! Dont do oh god you did it. Oh god."
"Now go or we will do it again!"

Then the missionary get to the allied town, and spread his religion but dies in the process.

"You have to convert to my religion! Thats what we do with those who dont convert!"
*stabs himself*
"He killed himself! I dont want to be stabbed, id better convert!"
"Me too, man. Lets send one gold every year to the shrine(sp)."

 

[ZippyRiver]

will provide the Keebler Elf resource so you can make cookies too.

You don't need to make cookies, they come with the game. It's how it knows what to title your civ leader.
***********
OK, we have these large, fast, well armored tanks at the ready sir.

Good job, now send in those catapults we have.

huh?

 

[potatokiosk]

Science advisor: Sire, we have mastered the art of Construction. Now we can build a massive structure that will please the people, and it will stand in our great capital as a symbol of our ingenuity long after our empire is gone.
Ceasar:
Science advisor: ...on second thought, we can fling giant rocks at people.
Ceasar: We can?
Science advisor: And trample people with elephants!
Ceasar: AWESOME!

Seems like a fairly accurate portrayal of human nature to me.

 

[JFLNYC]

Just checked wikipedia. Meh. I wonder if the people from the era actually liked the looks of them, and only the tastes changed.

Can't know, can we?

Regards.

So, you're saying they might actually have been the Three Gorgeous Dames?

 

[Artanis]

Here's a few:

-Bronze-armed units stand a chance against iron-armed units. ANY chance. At all. Ever. The fact that bronze COUNTERS iron is...well...
-Despite being half-naked, Workers never seem to have any trouble in the icebound arctic.
-Ditto for Warriors, Skirmishers, Hindu Missionaries, and Scouts.
-Bears are stronger than Panthers. Seriously, doesn't anybody watch the NFL playoffs?
-Upgrading Infantry to SAM Infantry makes them weaker vs. ground units, because apparently they can't point their rocket launchers down.
-Despite 6050 years of advancement, the development of internal combustion engines and fiberglass hulls...fishing boats are STILL sail-powered canoes made of plywood

 

[A Silly Goose]

The millions of people in your empire become elated at the news that you are instituting a representative government. Much to their dismay, however, they find that you're the one being represented, instead of them.

 

[SenhorDaGuerra]

whats with all the french?

 

[Meffy]

So, you're saying they might actually have been the Three Gorgeous Dames?

[GROOOOANNNNNN!]
*fallsover*

 

[Wretchosoft]

The excitement continues...

-Evidentally, spies wear identification that tells exactly who sent them. If interrogation explains this instead, then they do not know how to conceal their cyanide pills.

-State Property has no upkeep. After all, it costs the government nothing to steal from the working class. I mean, with all the revolutions and resentment going on.

-Gunpowder units can't use walls to defend themselves from underdeveloped folks. Now if I had a rifle, I think I would stand up on the fortification so the swordsmen would have to suicide charge and scale the wall to get me.

-A respectable young fellow may realize that we have developed the technology to explore deep space after reading the Civilopedia.

-"Alright guys, we have to go commando to use those roads."

-Can slaves vote with Universal Suffrage?

-The modern great artist model. Just thinking of some of those great names in those clothes... ick

-As unique units, Musketeers have many powerful advantages. Unfortunately, budget cuts took away their high tech armor and advanced rifles, but they did get to keep the aerodynamic shoes.

-What happened to ethnic diversity? Black people fought wars too.

-Ok so you're angry, I get it. But you're willing to die to prove your point?

-Jewish missionaries? Sorry, couldn't resist one religious reference.

 

[PieceOfMind]

1642AD. Advisors report:
"Isaac Newton has been born in Lincolnshire!"

Wow! People must expect great things from him for us to hear news of his birth!
5 years later an academy is founded in his name. I guess he was a prodigy!

 

[Nuh Uh]

Its SO damn stupid - its stupid to play it, IMHO. That's the problem. F*** it.

 

[Sidhe]

The more I play Civ4, the more I find something not making any sense, to the point I actually find it funny, e.g.

• You're are living in a totally isolated island in the ancient era. Your people exhaust themselves to build a Pyramid for you and is 90% finished. Suddenly a voice in your head tells you, "Stop, it has been built by people far far away, you've infringed somebody's copyright". You're so upset, but then you realize that you can actually turn the stones that you used into heaps of gold by some sort of magic.
  
• You can turn the ivory that you trade for into elephant warriors. Another magic.
  
• Stone is harder to find than iron. Oil seems to be everywhere.
  
• My Mongolian Kershners with flank II promotion don't know how to withdraw from a bunch of spearmen charging at them.
  
• Elizabeth still doesn't want to teach me alphabet after I've razed her two cities and beseiged London with my 15 axemen.
  
• Seeing a whole stack of longbowmen fortifying at their capital? No problem, we've got suicide bombers, a.k.a. catapults.
  
• My people have learned fusion, still have no clue how to plant a tree.
  
• The easiest way to win diplomatically is to nuke everybody so your people represent over 67% of population in the world
  
• One can spend money on research to discover God

Not that I'm complaining. A game is a game. Just find it so weird.

Ok How's this for sense of humour bypass:-

The pyramids turning to gold is pretty stupid, but if you didn't do something with all that raw material other than sell it and let people use it for something else you'd get nothing for your troubles, except a nice pointy waste of time. The pyramids represents organizational skills and engineering beyond the norm . It is the physical embodiment of the bonuses it grants. Oh and btw there is no evidence that the pyramids were ever used as tombs as such, no pharoahs were found there and no burial treasures. All dead pharoahs appear to have been buried in smaller structures elsewhere. Valley of the kings. The Pyramids look more like temples/astronomical positioning systems than tombs.

Yeah that's just silly, the Elephants represent areas where elephants hang man, where they do there thang baby, people in these areas have been using them for ivory and war historicaly doesn't seem to unrealistic?

Iron is easier to find than good quality building stone and marble is even rarer, it is the most abundant material in the Earth and consequently I can walk 200 yards from my house and pick up a chunk of iron/iron oxide.

It's not easy to flank attack an enemy when you are defending, in fact it's impossible.

Well I can't speak for Elizabeth but if you took out two of my cities and had 15 axeman on me I wouldn't want to trade anything with you full stop, except insults.

The suicide thing is done for game balance, it kinda makes sense when you take into account just how effective catapults are maybe they should make bombard suicidle instead but I think it works quite well, and they don't always die. Banzai!!!!!

your right forestry should come with an earlier tech. like erm something after engineering, tree husbandry maybe?

I think diplomatic victory by the sword is a fair way to win it, be it with nukes or with an army.

You don't spend money on finding god, you spend money on paths of thought that lead by natural extension to the belief in god, thus mysticism, or thoughts about life after death/death itself, creation and nature leads to the belief in a god eventually.

Sense of humour? Pah, who needs a sense of humour

 

[13thMonkey]

You founded the UN but you've not quite got to grips with Facism or Communism yet. Post-modern irony I guess