Joke Achievements

Jampine

Warlord
Joined
Sep 8, 2013
Messages
242
So, I know there's been a couple of threads like this, but they seem to have been buried, so maybe we can kick start this again? If you don't understand, since a lot of CIV V achievements are references or require you to do something specific or odd, people have been coming up with their own for a while. Maybe we can try to catalog these, and maybe we can become as popular as the funny pics thread? Ok, lets-a-go!

Old Achievements (from other users):
You had ONE job: Lose a game by not settling a city
I AM the one who knocks!: Get the scientist of Heisenberg in Albuquerque
We saw it first!: as England own Gibraltar whilst Spain is on the map
Better dead than red: as USA sell one of your cities after you get converted to order.
Cigars of the pharaoh: as Belgium, move a single unit into Egypt, India and then China

My Ideas:
Mann VS machine: Kill a tank with a bazooka, machine gun and scout within 1 tiles of it.
Alternate history: Capture Berlin as France.
The sons of liberty: Pillage and oil rig improvement with a giant death robot.
Prisoners of the sun: as the Inca, kidnap workers from a country that takes an artifact from you.
Dam Busters: as England, bomb 3 German cities that have hydroplants in 1 turn.
Wheres all the diamonds?: As Sweden, have at least 1 iron, gold, copper(redstone) and gem mine at one time.

I'll add more when I think of them, but feel free to go nuts here :lol:
 
You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off - Use a nuke on a unit with less than 50HP.
What have the Romans ever done for us? - Lose a city to Augustus that he builds a wonder in.
Englishmen, an Irishman and a Scotsman - Lose all Irish cities as the Celts.
Midnight Feast - Meet Dido, Montezuma, Pedro, Harald, Ahmad, Casimir, Askia and Enrico Dandolo in one game.
'Tis but a scratch - Lose every city bar one, get offered a ceasfire and decline. Then have that taken too.
 
Bieber Fever - Playing as Vancouver or Quebec City, spawn a Justin Bieber and have him perform a concert tour in an American and British city
 
Better dead than red: as USA sell one of your cities after you get converted to order.


:lol:

It feels much better when a Russian city (order) decides to join your empire (freedom). And Cathy still has the guts to say "your empire looks quite puny, did you forget to expand your borders?" happened to me last game.

Anyway, I like this thread, hope I can think about something funny!
 
Wedding crasher - as Venice, use a MoV to buy a CS allied to Austria for at least 4 turns (IIRC, she needs 5 for a DM)
 
To Caesar what belongs to Caesar... - as the Romans, conquer the Vatican.
... And to God what belongs to God - have it liberated by other player.
 
Ultimate vote trader - propose a non-nuclear proliferation treaty and use all your spare uranium to buy votes from other Civs.
 
Hellenic hilarity: as Alex, capture every CS then give them all away in peace deals
No Khan do: as Genghis, ally with every CS (actually this title sounds like it should be a crap UU)
 
City of Red Lights: As William, have Amsterdam generate 100+ tourism.
 
This looks like fun! Also, Achievements is spelled wrong in the title ;)

Disabilities Awareness - Give at least 5000 gold to Enrico Dandolo
To Hellen Back Again - As Greece, lose every city except, one, then proceed to win a domination victory.
...and He Invented Dynamite! - As Sweden be the first to discover dynamite
She's Got HUGE... Tracts of Land - Conquer Russia
 
Ko'u 'aina!!! - Playing as Polynesia, conquer 1000 islands in one game
Aloha Hawai'i - Playing as America, found Honolulu before Polynesia does
 
Why the hell we build that crap - after building the great wall as chinese, lose your capital to the mongols
Domino theory - as America, get 10 units killed in jungle by order units
Scorched earth - as russia, sell a building one turn before france conquers your capital
 
THIS FEELS GOOD: As Hiawatha, settle only one city - and make it tall
I'M SO 'APPY: As Napoleon, as above
 
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