LizNES5: Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying, And Love The Bomb

To: Austria
From: The German Empire
In face of your recent signing of the Warsaw Pact we ask that you reaffirm the (second) Dual Alliance with Germany.
 
The Presedent (As the man of inferior intelligence who occupied the position spelled it) has finally died! As you all know he has been dying of syphillis for years now. It is unknown who gave it to him as three of his mistresses were sharing his deathbed. His presidency has been plagued by numerous charges of corruption and impropriety. His incompetance is astounding. He once said "The actions of Little Uzbekistan (Ed. note: PM De Vries term for Texas), are the most intelligent political move I have ever seen. If only I had thought of it." The editor of the newspaper wanted me to emphasize that we are glad he is dead. Our police is still investigating how in the world this man managed to be elected.

Editors Note: We would have mentioned the President's name in the article, if only anyone cared to remember it.



New President Announces New Policies

Brand New President Luis de San Martín, descendent of Jose de San Martín, spoke of his new Policies yesterday.

"My Predesessor was undeniably the worst President we ever had. Clearly we need to reverse almost all of his policies. I am instituting a new anti-corruption campaign to clean up our government and to make it more accountable. Also The government will sponsor internal improvements so that the economy will Flourish. I will annouce My new foreign policies at a later date."


And Finally Actual diplomacy:

To: Memember Nations of SADETO
From: Argentina

Argentina is now formally withdrawing from SADETO effective immediately

To: Sitka-Quito Cooperative
From: Argentina

We wish to apply for membership.
 
To: Mexico
From: The Yucatan

This is good news. We are glad you want more amiable relations between our two nations. We will be happy to listen to any proposals you may have, and look forward to a closer bound between our nations in future years.
 
From: Dutch Empire
To: France
We stand by Germany and Britain. We do not approve of your recognition of the aggressionism and antagonism enacted by the "United States of the Atlantic" and ask that you consider rescinding your declaration.
 
Lord of Elves said:
From: Dutch Empire
To: France
We stand by Germany and Britain. We do not approve of your recognition of the aggressionism and antagonism enacted by the "United States of the Atlantic" and ask that you consider rescinding your declaration.
Click to expand...

To: Dutch Empire
From: USA

What aggression and antagonism? Surely, your president De Vries antagonizes more people and countries on a daily basis with his flippant words than the USA has ever done. And aggression...you speak of USA aggression, but what of new English aggression against the Maritimes? Is there to be no punishment for an unwarranted attack on a sovereign nation? Is there to be no words to be spoken against the CSA, whom you have spoken of bringing into your 'Entente' fold, while they assault the peoples of the Caribbean? Or what of the unprovoked war your allies, the Germans, held against Denmark, in order to gain territory, most of which you GAVE them in peace negotiations! Now you sit here and insult the USA because of our 'aggression'...no, it is not us who are aggressors, it is the New English who have brought this upon themselves. And if you are to sit there and call us antagonists and aggressors, then perhaps you had better check your words for hypocrisy before you speak, so that you do not embarrass yourself further.
 
To: USMA
From: The German Empire
Do we have to warn you again? We highly disapprove of your continued insulting comments toward Germany. Cease them.
 
To: USMA
From: Great Britain

It was not the New English who started the war, it was their absent minded government. We understand your simple colonial minds cannot discern the difference, but perhaps you will one day.
 
From Austria
To Germany

We will affirm.
 
ZeletDude said:
To: USMA
From: The German Empire
Do we have to warn you again? We highly disapprove of your continued insulting comments toward Germany. Cease them.
Click to expand...

We highly disapprove of you veiled threats and insults against the USA. So Cease them. :mischief:

@Britain: The people willingly went along with it, They didn't even protest it, or at least not publicly. Please stay out of American business, since you so wished for us to stay out of European affairs when we tried to help the Danes in their time of need.
 
NBC live debate in Ann Arbor with the presidential candidates!​



M- Mediator
L-Laurence Van Geyte
J-Jimmy Carter
V-John Vector
R-Rex Rodriguez

M: Well good evening folks! I am Jim Smith and this is NBC news, broadcasting out of Michigan University which holds the debate title for the nation of the last 7 years, and man, is it a beautiful night tonight. We are here today in front of an audience of 6,500 to witness a live debate between our current president, and the three remaining candidates of next election, seeing as Vladimir has recently dropped out, owing to that assassin, who is still at large people.


M: So how are all the debaters doing tonight?


L: Not quite my best. I’m starting to come down with a cold.


J: Never Better Jim.


V: A little edgy due to the war and the campaign, but im glad to be here Jim.


R: Ready to show these buggers how to talk their way into the Oval office for next election.


M: Alright so first question of the night to keep you on your toes-How is the government reacting to the assassination of Vladimir Trotsky, who was killed of all places, on the front lawn of the white house?


L: Well we had police search the surrounding blocks within half an hour, and we seem to have narrowed down the origin of the bullet to 3 locations, and a thorough investigation is under way at all three locations. Unfortunately, it seems this was done by a professional, and it is doubtful that we will catch anyone unless some new evidence appears to offer us a fresh lead. Past that, its classified, so im afraid I cant tell you anymore.


R: Why weren’t the police on the scene searching the blocks sooner? If I had been president at the time, the ten surrounding blocks would have been shut down tight within 10 minutes, nobody leaving or going in, and warrants would have been had within 20 minutes, with a thorough search going on until a culprit was found.


J: That’s unrealistic Rex, and you know it. Police forces in Washington have been cut to the bone to provide experienced recruits for the army, and odds are, it will take a decade before the police are up to such an operation that you propose. You would have had to bring the police from all the surrounding counties into the city in order to perform it, along with all the sailors from the naval yard neaby, to even have a chance of it going as planned. Plus, if this truly was the work of professionals, then I doubt they would have been able to have been caught unless we could be there within 100 seconds.


V: Calm down, both of you knuckleheads. Its obvious that mistakes were made. Right now, the best thing that we can do is dust for fingerprints, and pray we find something. Laurence, are there ANY suspects at all?


L: Just a couple of foreigners, and one domestic that’s currently out of the country on vacation. No certainties. That’s all I can say.


V: Well I sure do hope you can wrap this up soon Laurence.


M: Are you saying this could be the work of a foreign country? Perhaps one of those countries that are essentially waging war against communism?


L: My hands are tied. I cant say a thing.


M: John, you’re a general. Can you say anything about this? Anything you might be able to add?


V: I’m not involved. I am just as much in the dark as you are Jim.


M: well there you have it. Moving on…How do you candidates feel about the general situation to the south? More specifically, the disagreement over this submarine wreckage?


J: I think this is outrageous! How can we be so hostile to our brothers in the south, when we have a common foe, Communism?! We have a common foe, so lets join together in a common fight! Now we are claiming that a sub that has been attacking our brothers is a New English sub, just so we can get our hands on it, probably to cover up whatever evidence in it will lead to a discovery of this culprit. Perhaps we are even collaborating with this commie-aiding scum. This must come to an end, NOW. Laurence, surely you see the reason behind this?


R: Why should we help those slavers to the south? They unjustly seceded from this country! Yes, that was a long time ago. Yes, we are both Americans. But their land is rightly ours, their people actually our people! We should have won that war. If I am elected, I shall finish what Lincoln failed to do!


L: Its not as simple as that. The confederates are infringing on the rights of the Caribbean people! The people are saying they want communism, and it is not our right, nor theirs, to deny them that. Whether we like communism or not, that is what their people want, and their own government has been collaborating with the CSA in order to abuse their own people because of that. It is our DUTY to protect the people of the Caribbean in any way possible.


V: I’m afraid I must agree with Laurence here. It is the wish of the people. Had Vladimir not been shot, and had he been elected, that would have been the wish of the people. Are you saying you would have wanted the CSA to come in and drop bombs on our people just because the people elected a communist? I hope not. And yes, we had been hunting that rogue sub for some time, as it had tried, and failed, to sink some of our own vessels off the coast of Virginia before journeying to the Caribbean. As it is a New English sub, and we are at war with them while our southern neighbors are not, it is our right to examine the wreckage.


M: John do you really feel an extensive border fortification on the CSA border, and potentially along the coast, is really necessary? I mean, we might not be friends with the CSA, but we aren’t enemies either.


R: You bet damn straight we are enemies! But rather than sit behind our forts like the silly Frenchman, we should invade them while they are busy in the south! That will teach them not to secede from our country!


V: Rex shut up. Please. Its your fault that the confederate people are getting jumpy about us. And yes, I do believe that an attack is inevitable from that direction, and coastal forts should help blunt any attack from their European allies that may come. But our focus should be southwards. They are a threat militarily to our sovereignty, and must be treated as such, with all the necessary precautions. But I promise that I will not take any pre-emptive strikes against them unless the American people call for one.


J: Surely you are not serious? We should be seeking closer relations with our brothers, not talking about hostilities commencing between our nations. I plead with you America, do not allow one of these bigots to come into office! They will send your young men off to get shot at by people who should instead be our friends!


M: Righto, I think that’s my cue to move this along. Time’s getting a little too close, and we still have a few major issues. How about france? How do you all feel about that? It has even been rumored that our current president has sent their military leadership and alliance offer, although the truth and outcome of this rumor is currently unknown. Any thoughts? Comments?


L: Our diplomatic cables with France are classified, and I cannot reveal whether or not we have been in talks of an alliance, or anything for that matter, besides thanking them for recognizing our name change that I instituted a few months ago in order to celebrate the seemingly-unconditional-surrender of New England.


V: I believe that they could become a valuable ally should our relations continue to grow, although their election next year, which incidentally is around the same time as our own, will affect my opinion on how to move forward with them greatly. At the very least, we should not make an enemy out of them as we seem to have out of the other great European powers, although only god knows why they label us aggressive while they essentially declare New England a victim who has been mauled by us.


R: Cordial relations should be made, and yes, avoid making an enemy out of them. But an ally? Who the hell in their right mind would trust the French of all people?


J: In years to come, perhaps an alliance might be considered, but only if they were to give up that ridiculous Entente alliance that seems to be hell bent on everyone hating us. Only bad things could come from France being allied to both of us.


V: Agreed.


M: Okay. Next question. Wait-where is it? *scrambles around in his notes until a messenger wearing a headset runs out onto the stage with a slip of paper* right there it is. Okay so people, second to last question for tonight. How do you feel about this secret organization inside Southwest Russia that seems to be waging a well kept secret of a war against the government?


L: the government has had a hard time finding out anything particularly useful about this group, and since we know next to nothing about them, has decided to remain neutral on this, although we do wonder why exactly they are waging this war against the seemingly just government of Russia, and also wonder if they could possibly have foreign backing.


J: We must aid these brave men and women! They have the courage to stand up to the vile communists, so we must give them the weapons they need to do the job right!


R: Who cares about those damned ruskies? Leave ‘em be I say. We have enough problems.


V: They have chosen a most…inopportune time to revolt. I must say, even if we were to support them, we wouldn’t be able to support them with much material aid. Of course, we must learn more about them before we even decide to support them.


M: Uhuh. Okay. Yup. Alrighty then, last question! I want real simple answers on this one here guys, so we can wrap this fiasco of a debate up. What do you think id the most important crisis that America faces today? Whether it be foreign, domestic, militaristic, or diplomatic. Name ‘em. I want to get home in time to kiss my little girl good night, so make it snappy boys.


J: Technology. We have fallen far behind, with those in alliances and joint projects far ahead of us in this regard. We need to not only catch up, but to speed past our competitors. I want an American to be the first man in space!


L: Right now? The Caribbean. The more we get involved here, the more of a hotspot for us it will become, and the more likely we will get dragged into a war, a war which might just have global implications this time.


V: New England, although the CSA comes a close second. Not only finishing the war in the north, but winning the peace afterwards, will be sure to be the biggest challenge for the next president depending on what peace he creates, and how much the people living there like it. It will take a lot of effort, but I promise the American people I’m up to it!


R: Manifest Destiny. Once upon a time, the great founding fathers of our country dreamed of an American state that would reach from Mexico in the south to Canada in the north, and from the Atlantic in the east, to the Pacific in the west. I promise America I will bring them this, along with all the glory and power that will come with it!


M: That’s it folks! I hope this helps you 17% percent voters decide on who you support. If you don’t like any of them, there is always the Independent vote, who unfortunately could not be with us today, but George W. Bush is a very worthy candidate! Up next on NBC is a behind the scenes look at the recently completed modernization project, and just how it will benefit, or harm, you and you community. Have fun watching these commercials!


Director: Annnnnnnnnnddd…CUT! Nice work guys. Now go clean up. Your all sweating up a storm. Happens every time with those high powered lights! I’ll vote for whoever pays for new ones by the way.


----------------------------------------------------

I dont think that was that bad, although I suppose i could have added a couple of pics...what do you guys think? Be honest. I want to make sure I get better at this.
 
OOC: Imagine him being born 30 years earlier, cause hes my independent, unless TLK says otherwise. Oh boy, do I have special plans for old georgy:D. I thought about putting Donald trump in there instead, but decided to save him for later :p.
 
Amsterdam, the Staten-Generaal, Office of the Prime Minister
​
<De Vries> Oh, it's you. Congratulations, I'm in a good mood right now, you may scurry up with whatever pathetic requests you might have for "vacation" or "hour cutbacks" and I might be a little less vicious in how I tear your pitiful dreams of mercy to shreds.

<Secretary> Actually, no, Mr. De Vries. Foreign affairs sent this up.

<De Vries> Oh good, more ******** from the local **********-peddler. What is it this time?

<Secretary> Uhh... You might want to look at it yourself.

<De Vries> Too frightened to read it to me? Fine, whatever, hand it over.

What aggression and antagonism? Surely, your president De Vries antagonizes more people and countries on a daily basis with his flippant words than the USA has ever done. And aggression...you speak of USA aggression, but what of new English aggression against the Maritimes? Is there to be no punishment for an unwarranted attack on a sovereign nation? Is there to be no words to be spoken against the CSA, whom you have spoken of bringing into your 'Entente' fold, while they assault the peoples of the Caribbean? Or what of the unprovoked war your allies, the Germans, held against Denmark, in order to gain territory, most of which you GAVE them in peace negotiations! Now you sit here and insult the USA because of our 'aggression'...no, it is not us who are aggressors, it is the New English who have brought this upon themselves. And if you are to sit there and call us antagonists and aggressors, then perhaps you had better check your words for hypocrisy before you speak, so that you do not embarrass yourself further.
Click to expand...

​

<De Vries> I... What the hell. What the hell is this? Someone tell me what the hell this is.

​

<Secretary> They thought you should look at it personally.

<De Vries> You know what? This doesn't annoy me in the least. It's cute, it's like the ramblings of a mentally-disturbed seven-year-old. I'm okay with this. Totally okay. Look at me, I'm okay with this. Are you seeing how okay I am? LOOK AT ME. I AM EXTREMELY OKAY WITH THIS!
​

<Secretary> You... I...

<De Vries> Stop ********ing stammering or I will end you. Do I look like I'm kidding? Stop it. You stammer one more time, I will personally have you thrown on a small Pacific island and beaten viciously while you try to swim to Jakarta.

<Secretary> Yes, Mr. De Vries.

<De Vries> Great. Okay. I am okay with this. Here's what we do. Take this down.

<Secretary> Mr. De Vries?

<De Vries> Shut up and let me think. Alright.

Dear Mentally Unstable Third-World Dictator "President" of the "United States of the Atlantic"

Please stop sending us your insane ramblings. We do not live under your dystopian nightmare regime, and cannot be beaten when we do not laugh at what are apparently your sick and twisted attempts at humor. Die spectacularly in a bloody military coup as soon as possible.

Yours in Disgust, Christofoor De Vries, on behalf of Her Majesty Juliana the First of House Oranje, Empress of the Netherlands and the Dutch Empire.

Now send that back down to foreign affairs before I get out my rifle and hunt you like a small, hopeless animal.

<Secretary> So like usual?

<De Vries> Hey, you took this job.

-------------------------------------------------------------

From: Dutch Empire
To: USMA
Umad bro?
 
Nobody can do it quite like Lord of Elves! :goodjob:
 
FIRST news, Kiev.

Minister of War’s new Foreign legion is proving to be a great success. The newly arrived foreigners are quickly put to work learning soldiery. Ukrainian bawling techniques are one of the first things the fresh recruits learn. “If you cant fight with your bare hands then you have no right fighting at all,” said Minister Mustache Johnson.



However, the legion is not just about fighting. The troops are taught Ukrainian, Cossack History, and after they graduate from the extended boot camp given to the legion they are allowed to enroll in university or trade schools while they serve in the legion.

Legionnaire Jan Zielski, a recruit for the first year of the legionaries had this to say, “I appreciate this opportunity the Ukrainians are giving us and I am very lucky to be here from the start.” Jan was last years top soldier and is currently working on being accepted to Ukrainian Officer College in Kharkiv next year. Ukrainian Officers say that Jan is a shoe in to be the first ex-patriot to reach the level of commissioned officer in the Ukrainian Military.

So far the legionaries consists mostly of Poles, but Commandant Kupka is confident that as the legionaries will one day be a collection of the worlds finest men. “We have a long way to go,” commented Kupka, “but I could not have asked for a better start.”
 
OOC: LoE is quite skilled at what he does. Always gets me chuckling, if not downright lol'ing. In any case, is Christophoor de vries a real person, and if not, what person are you stealing all the pics from? looks like a pretty entertaining dude.

IC:
To Dutch Empire
From: USA
We see that even your president is hopelessly undereducated about the politics, political nature, and our humor. We would be willing to provide a foreign exchange student program as soon as is convenient so that this may be remedied. I hope that your silly president will soon learn that it is HE who does the rambling, not us, and that unlike countries in europe, do not fall to "bloody military coups" as you say.

But we do resent being called a third world country, when in fact we are more developed then yourself. We expect for this to be corrected as soon as possible, and we sincerely hope De Vries is a figurehead for a much smarter person, or else we are afraid that your nation may be doomed.

Good day, signed with love and hatred, written with pity, Laurence Van Geyte.
 
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