Persia: Destructor of Civilization

Great story so far, smiling as I read it.
 
Cyrus was sitting in his throne room, discussing important matters with his generals, when the old man rushed into the palace, exhausted.
“Oh God-King Cyrus! Oh God-King Cyrus! I have run 42 kilometres to tell you this! The…”
“Wait. This reminds me of something. Did anyone declare war, perhaps?”
“Oh Cyrus! You are surely divine, as you can predict the future with extreme accuracy!”
“Yes, yes. But who is it this time? Are the Roman Praetorians knocking on our doorstep? Is an enormous amount of Chinese Cho-Ko-Nus accompanied by catapults spotted near our eastern border? Did the Maya go crazy and are their modern armours – loaded in transports, of course – raiding our countryside?”
“No, my lord. It is more terrible, my lord.”
“Pray, tell. Who is this new threat?”
“It is the Ethiopians, my King!”

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“Uhm… that’s not really a problem, is it?”
“But, my lord! The Ethiopians were our allies in faith. They were the loyal allies which would help us through history, defeat our enemies, and which we would never attack!”
“You forgot one thing, old man. We are Petrollsia. To battle!”

A little town is founded on the Indian border. Surely it will help Cyrus when he invades India to finish it off completely. Why didn’t their government collapse after the razing of Dilli? Anyway, Ethiopia was the main target now.
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Petrollsian troops take the Greek city of Appolonia. I don’t think I have to tell anyone what happened with it.
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Rome teaches Petrollsia about the arts while Petrollsia teaches Rome why all their North-Pole expeditions end up in the Sahara.

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After the razing of Athens, Sparta goes rogue. Sparta! Petrollsia had heard distant tales of the ‘300’, which defeated a large part of an enormous Petrollsian army before dying. Strange, as no such story could be found anywhere in Petrollsian libraries. But this was another chance for the Spartans to prove their valour.

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*Cough* no losses *Cough cough*. Cyrus was pleased. All of Greece was now clean of filthy foreign civilization, and the army could march to Ethiopia now.

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But the desert people to the south of Mesopotamia longed for Petrollsia’s riches. Their skilled mounted bowmen started to make invasions deep into Petrollsian territory. Of course they were no match for the large horde of Immortals awaiting them, but they were a huge nuisance. And the old man predicted they could give Petrollsia a lot of trouble in the future. For once, Cyrus agreed with him.

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And they were not the only ones to plague Petrollsia. Slightly less skilled, but more barbarian horse archers from the north were raiding Samarqand’s countryside. Cyrus approved the way they trolled, but he would have preferred it it they would have trolled some other civilization.

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The people of Trollopolis built a wall capable of stopping any rocks of trebuchets. Cyrus was already eagerly looking forward to see an army of catapults perpetually bombarding the city without success.

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Building the apostolic palace was on hindsight not that good an idea after all. The resolutions all wanted Petrollsia to stop trolling. Never!

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… I somehow failed to spot this until now. Err, time to whip some defenders, isn’t it?

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And that’s why you should garrison border cities. It was only a small loss, but Cyrus swore revenge on those vile Indians.

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A great cathedral was built, which inspired Petrollsians all over the empire to do something great for their nations. The Petrollsian soldiers laughed, saying they were doing great things for Cyrus all the time.

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A small city could be seen a thousand kilometres south of Axerush. Keen eyes those citizens had! A scouting chariot was sent over here, to investigate who was garrisoning the city. The Arabian invasion was almost coming, and every city less is … a city less, I suppose.

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Sa’ana was garrisoned by… no one. Needless to say, the chariots razed the city after a bloody fight and a brilliant victory on the non-existent defenders.
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In the meanwhile, Rome was having trouble with barbarians razing their cities.

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They were not the only ones, however…

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The Theodosian walls (named after Cyrus, but the magistrate messed up a bit) sent out cosmic rays which converted cities far away to Catholicism. “Interesting”, thought Cyrus, “Maybe I can use those walls to make other civilizations raze their own cities?”

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And there goes the Ethiopian capital…

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And subsequently Bonga was razed by angry immortals. The countryside was pillaged afterwards, bringing in many gold for Petrollsia.

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Rome would, like in every game, die to barbarians. What a pity, Cyrus would have preferred to raze Rome himself. Anyway, the Barbarians might make some things easier.

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The citizens of Muqhisho took up their shovels, ready to repel the professional, hardened army of Immortals. They failed.

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And once again Barbarian camel archers were spotted coming from the south! Perhaps Cyrus could venture into China and capture the great wall, which would magically repel barbarians on the other side of the world.

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So, that’s the chapter. A lot of cliff-hangers indeed: will the Romans take up their swords and repel the barbarians, and make an empire once again? Will the Arabians set off to America with their galleys, instead of pestering Petrollsia? Will the deadly Camel archer team raze all of Petrollsia?
Only the future knows. And Cyrus. He is divine, after all.
 
Your poor stability bar is looking worse for wear.

Hopefully Cyrus can keep it going. (Maybe inventing a bunny-shaped Baghdad battery could help with that)
 
Your poor stability bar is looking worse for wear.

Hopefully Cyrus can keep it going. (Maybe inventing a bunny-shaped Baghdad battery could help with that)

Yep, it's going down :( It's still at +8, but diminishing. But doesn't Persia get stability hits after the Classical age?
And I have no clue what a bunny-shaped Baghdad battery is, sorry :p Electricity in 500 AD?
 
Nice update. Particularly the spot when the barbarians started coming out of the Northern edge of the Empire was funny, if you will excuse me for saying so. :lol:
 
:goodjob: Cool! :goodjob:
 
Cyrus sighed. He was sitting in his thro - What, did you say throne room? No, this time he wasn’t in his throne room with his most important generals like he has been in the two previous chapters. Shame on you of thinking I’m repetitive! Actually, he was in the trophy room with his favourite War Elephant.He knew tough times were coming for the Petrollsian empire. At the moment, no one could contest him, with Rome crumbling, China a distant backwater and Japan an isolated island. But that would change. News was heard from the south, Arabia. The tribes were uniting. Right now, they were just settling down in small city states, but it was a dangerous situation: a real empire could rise, and the citizens of the Levant had sympathy for them. In fact, they might even rebel and join this new world power.
And without doubt, Europe would be a different place in five hundred years from now. With Rome gone, civilization would languish for a small amount of time, but after that it would rise, and rise fast. But new civilizations meant new cities, and new opportunities to raze them!
Meanwhile China was hit by a plague, reducing their cities to smaller cities. Cyrus did not care, surely his Petrollsians were immune to this disease.
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The Apostolic palace election was held again. Cyrus wondered why they even bothered to ask on who he would vote. On himself, of course!
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A tech trade was made with Rome. Tsk, tsk, Augustus! You don’t have the basic two economic techs yet, but still you have already 10 cities!
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Well, for now. Barbarians started popping up in groups of three ( the Iberian barbs always do. The Germanic barbs come in twos : axeman and horse archers or two horsies. ) and would surely plunder some cities.
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I don’t like how the AI starts spamming mercenaries at you when they are almost down. It’s just not fair! Anyway, for some reason War Elephants are the only military units which can enter jungle, so they can’t touch me there. If I can make them collapse before those troops reach Petrollsia, they just go independent or disappear, I think.
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And there are the Vikings. Another major troll civ on this map, but they are… quite daft. I once saw them unloading their Berserkers before attacking, allowing me to reinforce the city with a crossbow.
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Boom! Bye Indian cap no. 2 ! Cyrus was glad to see his oldest enemy crippled like that.
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This time I did see them coming, but those horse archers just came out of the fog. I’ll reinforce the Samarqand with garrisons from the city south.
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Why do I get bothered by Impis? Oh wait, that’s because I destroyed Ethiopia, Phoenicia and Egypt :blush: Cyrus would not take further action against those barbarians, as they had no real cities. Note to self: send troops to Obamba and Ulundi when they spawn.
And on a more important note: you can see 'The Indian civilization is descending into civil war' in red. Yes, no more Indians! No more noodles, Belgian fries, fish and chips and pizza to bother Petrollsia!
They are all Indian inventions, you know.
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Cyrus gazed upon his empire (he somehow got two kilometres high up in the air. Whatever.). It looked fine now, but some dissident called Mohammed had united the city-states in Arabia. He had heard it was a man of great potential, and he believed in the Christian god, but he made some major chances to this monotheistic belief, and called it Islam.
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Well, well, that’s one artist who doesn’t have to be executed. Long live Italy! “As long as my direction is focused on other civilizations, of course” Cyrus thought.
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Wait, wait, realize what? Augustus, you were friendly with me? What’s the matter?
Cyrus did not appreciate this war declaration. He was still preparing for Arabia, and Rome was not worth razing. The cities would be resettled anyway.
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Ok, here is the Roman unique power in RFC, Dawn of Civ. They get two legions and a catapult somewhere near one of your cities when you have a war. (It only works the first time, I think.) Here they are.
Nothing Cyrus couldn’t beat with his war elephants. Stomp stomp legion!
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Ah, there are our … friends.
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That’s one of the main reasons I do not completely adore playing as Persia or Rome. Break-aways. Cyrus obviously accepted, he didn’t want half of his War Elephants to change their allegiance to the Arabs. Which proves elephants are very intelligent, as they understand the concept of nations, treason and loyalty.
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Cyrus decided to make a quick trade with Abu Bakr before he was completely outraged at our heathen beliefs.
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By the way, doesn’t he remind you of someone?
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Well, extra gold is always welcome, especially in RFC. Mercenaries for the win!
Although I prefer to hire out my own units as mercenaries instead. I just can’t stand maintenance costs :(
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Cyrus would have to hold an enormous campaign against Arabia. Surely Mecca would be an enormous fortress, filled with longbows and pikemen to the brim, and only a civilization as great as Persia could conq-
… No. This is just too ridiculous to be true.
Err… Thank you Rome? That’s their army spawning next to Mecca, and taking out the only defender garrisoning it. It makes things a LOT easier. :lol:
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And yes, again we end with a cliffhanger ! Will Rome go on a mad conquer-the-capital-of-new-civs campaign? No Washington DC this game, it’s Washingtonus Capitolinus! Amsterusdamus, Yashodavorapuratus, Vienna – wait, Vienna is a Roman name. Forget it.
Yes, the HRE spawns in Vienna in this mod.
 
Arabs losing there cap should make things a lot easier :D
 
I've never been one to give up cities easily due to something so simple and boring as "independence", and "poor stability", and "nation is collapsing and forming new cities". Are you going to reconquer Arabia and raze Rome to the ground next?
 
I've never been one to give up cities easily due to something so simple and boring as "independence", and "poor stability", and "nation is collapsing and forming new cities". Are you going to reconquer Arabia and raze Rome to the ground next?
If you don't give up cities, your troops tend to join the revolting side. I wanted to prevent that from happening.
Rome: once I get an army, I might head there. Something might happen making it easier, however...
Arabia: Maybe :mischief:
 
Great news : I just discovered I accidentally deleted the next update :rolleyes:
 
whut? how did you do that?
 
whut? how did you do that?

I thought I already posted it, so I pasted something over it.
Should have opened a new document, eh?
Anyway, I don't have much time for updates now, so expect the next chapter this weekend or the like.
 
All was fine in Petrollsia.
Yes, everything.
The Roman empire was a ghost of it’s former self, the Arabian expansion seemed to be permanently halted by the conquest of their capital and all the parrots in the country decided to emigrate to Australia, making things even easier.
Cyrus was actually quite surprised by the barbarian civilizations : they started to kill each other! They were doing his work! That would make things easier, hurray.
The wise old man entered the room, like he uses to do at the start of each turnset, whatever a turnset is.
‘Cyrus! Cyrus! Oh god-king Cyrus! Oh troller of civilization, oh founder of Petrollsia! We must find the holy mountain! They say God lives on it! Petrollsia must found a city near it, to become a truly divine empire!’
‘But if our noisy settlers and our huge herds of cattle settle near that city, surely God will search himself a quieter home.” Cyrus said.
‘Yes, yes, but we must do it anyway!’
‘So where is that holy mountain of you?’
The old man shrugged, clearly not prepared for this question. ‘I have no clue!’

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So Cyrus visited one of the numerous Christian monasteries around the country. It turned out the location of the holy mountain was drawn on the front of every bible. It turned out to be in the heartland of Mongolia. Cyrus did know it was called Mongolia, but his people did not. Truly divine!

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To the north a group of Petrollsian adventurers discovered a large herd of bulls, with curled horns. When they came closer, though, it turned out those bulls were humans, wearing a ridiculous kind of helmet.

‘Greetings! I am Ragnar, Ruler of the glorious Vikings. So tell me: does Petrollsia have a lot of rich and unprotected cities, or what?’
After Cyrus pointed out the Viking capital was coastal and guarded by a single archer, Ragnar decided to raid his homeland, instead of Petrollsia.

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This was great news, as now Petrollsia could fully divert its resources into the destruction of Arabia. Cyrus had to reclaim his Mediterranean harbours! An army of Elephants was send into the Levant. The mean Abu Bakr, however, had hired some Elephants himself. Cyrus wondered what the elephants used their mercenary loan for. Peanuts?

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Soon Sur was captured. It was renamed As-Sur, As Sur was just as great As Sur.

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Cyrus ordered the construction of numerous Marble statues of himself across the country. Somehow, this inspired the Petrollsian taxpayers to pay more. Huzzah!

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After this, Yerushalim was taken by elite elephants. The Arabs called it Qods. Cyrus, a nice man and friendly to foreign civilization, as we all know, kept the old name.

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Petrollsians were shocked when they saw Roman legions being Arabian! Wait, aren’t they Arabian legions, then? Did the evil Augustus go insane?

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Cyrus would never know, as Augustus was killed in the great Parr… Peasant revolution of Rome. He was thrown off the Roman walls. The Roman city-states all became independent, easy targets for Petrollsian stomp-phants!

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The fortified town of Masqat, a thorn in the eye of Sjirah, was guarded by extremely skilled l33t mercenaries. Their crossbow bolts would surely pierce any elephant approaching the city. So the Petrollsian army lifted the siege. Shortly after, the mercenaries left, and the Petrollsians cut off their return to Masqat.

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Cyrus had a dream. ‘I have a dream!’ he said, but then he had already woken up. He dreamed of a distant civilization, Spain, emerging from the chaos of Iberia. ‘More civilizations to destroy!’ he said, and he was pleased.

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The governor of Masqat decided to put fire to his town when he saw the Petrollsian army coming to prevent them from burning his city. But then he realised he had no matches – they were not invented yet – and the town was burned by the Petrollsians anyway.

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And it was not the only city which was burned. Makkah, far great than Masqat, fell to angry elephants. Despite being a holy city and a nice addition to his empire, Cyrus decided to burn it. If he wanted to completely destroy the Arabian civilization, he could not afford it’s crown jewel to stay untouched.

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Zoroaster was born. He was stunned when he found out Zoroastrianism was already present, and he fell asleep for a few centuries.

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The people of Masqat, who loved Cyrus for burning their town – it was winter, and they would have frozen to death in the cold climate of Arabia if Cyrus wouldn’t have lit a fire – and shared their knowledge of Engineering with Petrollsia.

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Cyrus had a dream. ‘I have a dre… Oh wait, I won’t fall for this again.’ He said. He dreamed about a blue kingdom, full of wondrous Christian buildings. ‘Raze, raze, raze!’ he said.

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A mercenary army – the Arabs were too lazy to train an army themselves, it seems – was marching to Jerushalim. Elephants stomped them to death! Serves them well.

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And a group of Petrollsian explorers found out Cyrus’s first dream had come true! Isabella, queen of the Spanish nation, greeted them and gave them many bulls to run with.

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In the upcoming centuries, Cyrus would raze Europe, destroy Turkey and lay waste to Asia!
… if everything goes right, that is.
 
See how far you can get into Europe!
 
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