General_W
Councilor & Merlot Noble
I could have sworn I've read this already.
Have I gone back to the future?
Have I gone back to the future?
Sabers story
- Thread starter dutchfire
- Start date
The history of the world - Volume IV - Chapter 9
The end of Babe's Golden Age - 320 AD
As we have seen in previous chapters, the people of Babe were still going strong around these times. The greatest times of Babe may have been behind them, as their excellent seafaring skills were slowly being matched by other tribes, and even their mounted warriors, once feared across the donut, started to grow old. Their war against Council, perhaps the most impressive show of the power of their military was still going on officially, but hostilities became ever rarer. But most historians agree that the true end of their Golden Age came in 320 AD, when their autocrat Wotan decided to shock the world once more by declaring war.
In the years before, the always peaceful people of Saber had decided to show their goodwill by sending peaceful explorers to Team Babe. Relations were still severed since Babe's attempt at landing earlier. (See Volume II - Chapter 2) To clearly show their non-hostile intent, these explorers were not sent to the Babe mainland, they were sent to a small island near the coast of the Saber mainland. And even on that island, they never entered Babe territory. These explorers managed to survive for quite some time on the southern tip of the island. They didn't dare to go further inland, as the local Babes made it clear that there presence was not appreciated. The Babes didn't tell them, but their was something about their grunting that made it perfectly clear.
Finally in 320 AD, the Babes had enough of these peaceful men, and they attacked and killed them. Why it took them so long is unknown, but some historians believe it has to do with the huge amount of discussion in the Babe government about this issue. Incidentally, at the same time some Saberish boats were sailing to that island, to deliver supplies to the explorers. In their anger, the Babes also attacked some of these ships. A couple of galleys managed to hold out bravely for some time, but in the end, the size of the Babe galley fleet was to big, and they sank. The Babes didn't dare to attack the caravels full of "supplies" though.
Even though the tragic loss of life was mourned heavily in all Saberish cities, it caused a spirit of strength. It was now know that Saber was under threat, and that personal luxury would have to be set aside for the greater good for a while. All frivolities were set aside, and this saved great amounts for the war effort. It could be said that the loss of lives was worth it, as it may have prevented bigger problems in the future.
© 2050 AD Saber Ministry ofPropaganda Education
The end of Babe's Golden Age - 320 AD
As we have seen in previous chapters, the people of Babe were still going strong around these times. The greatest times of Babe may have been behind them, as their excellent seafaring skills were slowly being matched by other tribes, and even their mounted warriors, once feared across the donut, started to grow old. Their war against Council, perhaps the most impressive show of the power of their military was still going on officially, but hostilities became ever rarer. But most historians agree that the true end of their Golden Age came in 320 AD, when their autocrat Wotan decided to shock the world once more by declaring war.
In the years before, the always peaceful people of Saber had decided to show their goodwill by sending peaceful explorers to Team Babe. Relations were still severed since Babe's attempt at landing earlier. (See Volume II - Chapter 2) To clearly show their non-hostile intent, these explorers were not sent to the Babe mainland, they were sent to a small island near the coast of the Saber mainland. And even on that island, they never entered Babe territory. These explorers managed to survive for quite some time on the southern tip of the island. They didn't dare to go further inland, as the local Babes made it clear that there presence was not appreciated. The Babes didn't tell them, but their was something about their grunting that made it perfectly clear.
Finally in 320 AD, the Babes had enough of these peaceful men, and they attacked and killed them. Why it took them so long is unknown, but some historians believe it has to do with the huge amount of discussion in the Babe government about this issue. Incidentally, at the same time some Saberish boats were sailing to that island, to deliver supplies to the explorers. In their anger, the Babes also attacked some of these ships. A couple of galleys managed to hold out bravely for some time, but in the end, the size of the Babe galley fleet was to big, and they sank. The Babes didn't dare to attack the caravels full of "supplies" though.
Even though the tragic loss of life was mourned heavily in all Saberish cities, it caused a spirit of strength. It was now know that Saber was under threat, and that personal luxury would have to be set aside for the greater good for a while. All frivolities were set aside, and this saved great amounts for the war effort. It could be said that the loss of lives was worth it, as it may have prevented bigger problems in the future.
© 2050 AD Saber Ministry of
I'm glad that the Saber Ministry of Education takes the time to teach us all about these important matters of History. What's the phrase? Those who don't know history are doomed to repeat it 
Professor Win and doctor Dar entered the sultan's throne room. They had worked long and hard on their theories, but they both knew that without the Sultan's support all their work would be lost. They had to convince him here and now of the importance of their project. The professor started the conversation. "Your excellency, it's an honour that you have granted us an audience in your majestic pala..." "Down to business please, I've got more things to do today." "Yes sir, as you are probably well aware, we have been studying the origins of humanity for quite some time." "Yes, I've heard about your inquiries, didn't they involve those Babe slaves?." Here, doctor Dar saw an opportunity to enter the conversation. "Indeed, we have been looking at similarities between a lot of species across Saber lands, including immigrant workers from the former Babe islands on our coast." Professor Win tried to steer back the conversation to their theory, he didn't want to waste more of the sultan's time. "Based on that research, we think we now understand the origin of all human beings. We think humanity has gradually evolved through a process called natural selection. This discovery could well be the most important and controversial breakthrough in science ever." "Good for you, but then why do you need to speak to me?" "Well, your highness, we would like to do one last test to check our theories, but the scale of this experiment is so big that we can't do it without your help." "We want to let a few tribes of monkeys build a couple of huge green statues," said doctor Dar slightly too fast, "if our theories are correct, these monkeys will soon learn and adapt, and in the end, their job, building statues, will influence their anatomy." "Sounds like a huge waste of money to me to be honest, how would our country as a whole profit from such a project?" "We believe this experiment will also improve our understanding of the smallest things in the universe, and of tiny devices that store information through some sort of sparks, but it would be too complicated to explain how these things are linked." The sultan wasn't really impressed by this. "So even more theories without any useful application? Even more things to learn for our schoolkids? Even more money that has to be spent on universities investigating these phenomena? Don't you have a useful application for your theory?" Doctor Dar was getting desperate, and decided to use their last ace. "We also think this will enable us to build a huge dam to make a huge reservoir of water so we can ..." "You want me to fund you to let some monkeys build green statues, which, in the best case scenario, would lead to a huge pool?" "Well, yes that's a way of putting it."
After those words, the Sultan clapped his hands twice, and a secretary entered the room. He whispered some words to her, and a few minutes later, two men in white suits entered the room. They led the professor and the doctor away, whispering kind words and telling that everything would be alright.
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Adam Smith was sitting in the office of his psychiatric clinic. He was, as usual, unsatisfied with his life as the Royal Psychiatrist. Since the Sultan was one of the sanest people alive, he only had to take care of the odd nutcase that tried to enter the palace. Today, two new patients would be arriving, they tried to convince the sultan of letting green people build a statue of a monkey, or something like that. Nowadays, he didn't even read these reports properly anymore. Most of his patients were a lost case anyway.
When the two new patients arrived, Adam was positively surprised though. These patients didn't look like they lived under a bridge and hadn't had a proper meal in years. He soon discovered that they were quite bright too, they could have been well functioning members of society, as long as you didn't mention the words dam, monkey or selection. At first, he tried to learn more about them, but every time they would talk about their profession, they would start talking funny. So after a couple of days, Smith decided to talk about his own life instead.
"My job is quite boring, and, even worse, it doesn't really pay very well either. One would think that a great psychiatrist like me would be living in a huge villa on the southern coast, eating in posh restaurants and drinking only the best wines. But instead, I have to spend my days here, in the basements of this old rotten building."
"Couldn't you try something else as a psych?" doctor Dar asked, "Something with more public appeal perhaps." professor Win suggested.
"What do you propose?"
"Well, you could try to help other people than just the people the Sultan sends you."
"The people who have money usually don't need a shrink, and the people who need one usually can't pay."
"What about making a show about a psychiatrist's work? You invite a couple of people with problems to a studio, and you try to solve their problems.
"I could try that, but do you think people would come to see that?"
"I bet they would."
"That might be worth a shot, but I'm not willing to risk my life savings on this."
"Why don't you start a corporation?"
"A what?"
"A corporation, you try to get other people to invest in your enterpise. If you make profit, you keep it, and if you lose money, they lose it."
"Brilliant, and I won't use my own name either, to protect my reputation as the Royal Psychiatrist. I'll call myself dr. Philip, or Phil for short."
And so, in the year 560 AD, Adam Smith founded his company, and soon, he was one of the richest people on earth. His first line of business was the dr. Phil show, but he soon bought markets, harbors and banks all over the country. He always advised the people in his show to invest the money they got for appearing on the show in the company, and that way, he didn't make any costs, and everything was payed by the shareholders. Out of gratitude to the professor and the doctor, they didn't get any more shock treatment. What a kind man is mr. Smith.
After those words, the Sultan clapped his hands twice, and a secretary entered the room. He whispered some words to her, and a few minutes later, two men in white suits entered the room. They led the professor and the doctor away, whispering kind words and telling that everything would be alright.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Adam Smith was sitting in the office of his psychiatric clinic. He was, as usual, unsatisfied with his life as the Royal Psychiatrist. Since the Sultan was one of the sanest people alive, he only had to take care of the odd nutcase that tried to enter the palace. Today, two new patients would be arriving, they tried to convince the sultan of letting green people build a statue of a monkey, or something like that. Nowadays, he didn't even read these reports properly anymore. Most of his patients were a lost case anyway.
When the two new patients arrived, Adam was positively surprised though. These patients didn't look like they lived under a bridge and hadn't had a proper meal in years. He soon discovered that they were quite bright too, they could have been well functioning members of society, as long as you didn't mention the words dam, monkey or selection. At first, he tried to learn more about them, but every time they would talk about their profession, they would start talking funny. So after a couple of days, Smith decided to talk about his own life instead.
"My job is quite boring, and, even worse, it doesn't really pay very well either. One would think that a great psychiatrist like me would be living in a huge villa on the southern coast, eating in posh restaurants and drinking only the best wines. But instead, I have to spend my days here, in the basements of this old rotten building."
"Couldn't you try something else as a psych?" doctor Dar asked, "Something with more public appeal perhaps." professor Win suggested.
"What do you propose?"
"Well, you could try to help other people than just the people the Sultan sends you."
"The people who have money usually don't need a shrink, and the people who need one usually can't pay."
"What about making a show about a psychiatrist's work? You invite a couple of people with problems to a studio, and you try to solve their problems.
"I could try that, but do you think people would come to see that?"
"I bet they would."
"That might be worth a shot, but I'm not willing to risk my life savings on this."
"Why don't you start a corporation?"
"A what?"
"A corporation, you try to get other people to invest in your enterpise. If you make profit, you keep it, and if you lose money, they lose it."
"Brilliant, and I won't use my own name either, to protect my reputation as the Royal Psychiatrist. I'll call myself dr. Philip, or Phil for short."
And so, in the year 560 AD, Adam Smith founded his company, and soon, he was one of the richest people on earth. His first line of business was the dr. Phil show, but he soon bought markets, harbors and banks all over the country. He always advised the people in his show to invest the money they got for appearing on the show in the company, and that way, he didn't make any costs, and everything was payed by the shareholders. Out of gratitude to the professor and the doctor, they didn't get any more shock treatment. What a kind man is mr. Smith.
General_W
Councilor & Merlot Noble
Very funny! And congrats on Smith's
CommandoBob
AbstractArt
Large green monkeys building a huge dam.
What a picture that would be!
What a picture that would be!
It was that time of the year again, summer holiday, and the Saber government decided that it was time to go on a well-deserved vacation. But in the past years, they'd visited all the well known summer spots on the continent. They'd seen all the bars (though some people didn't remember all of it 
), had been kicked off all the beaches already and they really wanted something new.
Greekguy wanted to go to The Pier, Council to see the wonder-full land, Chamnix wanted to make a culture trip to Hotel California, GONG and Marsden wanted to go to Azurra Coast, FREE since he heard they had good beer. None of these ideas managed to convince enough people though. Then, Cyc had an idea. "Why don't we do a cruise on one of those new ships our harbours have been producing?" Denyd added that they could make a small stop at the BABE island to see the memorial for the brave Saber warriors who were slaughtered there ages ago.
Everyone agreed with that idea. Calis arranged some transports with his military connections, and Chamnix made sure those would all leave at the right moment, to ensure their luggage arrived in time. Dutchfire, the foreign affairs guy, wanted to reserve a spot at a hotel on the island, but somehow, they were on everyone's blacklist. That might have something to do with the war between Saber and Babe, or with Cyc's reputation.
In the end, they weren't bothered by these small issues, and in the summer of 830 AD their ship left for the Bangles, the main port on the BABE island. When they arrived there, then entire city was deserted. So they made themselves comfortable, captured the nicest building to spend the nights there, went to see if they could find any beer, and gbno1fan unloaded his finest wines from the boats and brought them to the cellar.
The next day, they decided to scout the surroundings, to see if there was any life on this island at all. There, in the hamlets and farmlands of the countryside, they did meet some people, but these meetings were all but pleasant. In one village, Cyc was greeted by people throwing rotten fruit and vegetables at him from their balconies, but he just started smiling and waving, since he thought he was being greeted as a liberator, and garbage was as close to flowers as they could come.
After having discovered that there wasn't any ruler on the island at all, Marsden, who was responsible for financing the trip, had a great idea to make some extra cash. He sent a messenger back home, to send some infantry men, who had nothing better to do, over to the island to set up basic tourist infrastructure. Soon, this island would be SABER resort.
Within a year, the resort was already making money for the government, and they decided they could hold a holiday again, this time for government purposes, and on the cost of the government. This time, they sailed north from the new resort, and discovered a new island. Here, too, they built a resort. For years to come, massive amounts of tourists came from the SABER homeland, and from other countries as well, to swim in the lovely seas around the Bangles, to climb the high mountains in the south, to ride the elephants unique to these small islands and to visit the Brave Warrior Memorial, to pay their respects to those who didn't come here for their entertainment, and who didn't leave with a sunburn or a slight hangover.
), had been kicked off all the beaches already and they really wanted something new.Greekguy wanted to go to The Pier, Council to see the wonder-full land, Chamnix wanted to make a culture trip to Hotel California, GONG and Marsden wanted to go to Azurra Coast, FREE since he heard they had good beer. None of these ideas managed to convince enough people though. Then, Cyc had an idea. "Why don't we do a cruise on one of those new ships our harbours have been producing?" Denyd added that they could make a small stop at the BABE island to see the memorial for the brave Saber warriors who were slaughtered there ages ago.
Everyone agreed with that idea. Calis arranged some transports with his military connections, and Chamnix made sure those would all leave at the right moment, to ensure their luggage arrived in time. Dutchfire, the foreign affairs guy, wanted to reserve a spot at a hotel on the island, but somehow, they were on everyone's blacklist. That might have something to do with the war between Saber and Babe, or with Cyc's reputation.
In the end, they weren't bothered by these small issues, and in the summer of 830 AD their ship left for the Bangles, the main port on the BABE island. When they arrived there, then entire city was deserted. So they made themselves comfortable, captured the nicest building to spend the nights there, went to see if they could find any beer, and gbno1fan unloaded his finest wines from the boats and brought them to the cellar.
The next day, they decided to scout the surroundings, to see if there was any life on this island at all. There, in the hamlets and farmlands of the countryside, they did meet some people, but these meetings were all but pleasant. In one village, Cyc was greeted by people throwing rotten fruit and vegetables at him from their balconies, but he just started smiling and waving, since he thought he was being greeted as a liberator, and garbage was as close to flowers as they could come.
After having discovered that there wasn't any ruler on the island at all, Marsden, who was responsible for financing the trip, had a great idea to make some extra cash. He sent a messenger back home, to send some infantry men, who had nothing better to do, over to the island to set up basic tourist infrastructure. Soon, this island would be SABER resort.
Within a year, the resort was already making money for the government, and they decided they could hold a holiday again, this time for government purposes, and on the cost of the government. This time, they sailed north from the new resort, and discovered a new island. Here, too, they built a resort. For years to come, massive amounts of tourists came from the SABER homeland, and from other countries as well, to swim in the lovely seas around the Bangles, to climb the high mountains in the south, to ride the elephants unique to these small islands and to visit the Brave Warrior Memorial, to pay their respects to those who didn't come here for their entertainment, and who didn't leave with a sunburn or a slight hangover.
Brilliant! 
General_W
Councilor & Merlot Noble
I'll bet he did!!
Nice work Dutchfire
Thanks for the fun read!
The Saber-Council War
(Start of World War)
(Start of World War)
The Place: The
In attendance are the Royal Saberine Sultan, The Ministers of Finance, War, Domestic Welfare, Information, Diplomacy, Alcohol, Communication, The Senate, and a full gallery of esteemed Saberine Citizens.
Minister of War, Calis: Let the Proceedings begin. Is the Senate assembled?
Senator Elear: The Senate is assembled.
Calis: All rise.
Enter the Royal Saberine Sultan, Chamnix.
Chamnix: You may sit. Cyc, you have new business for the Grand Assembly?
Minister of Information, Cyc: Yes. I have very important information. A short time ago a famous scientist from The Council came to our land. His name is Al Gouge and he wants to address the Grand Assembly directly.
Chamnix: We will listen to him.
Minister of Communication, Greekguy: Arent you the guy that invented the internet?
Senator Lost_Civantares: Whats the internet?
Senator Classical_hero: Isnt that just a bunch of tubes!
Calis: Order! Let him speak.
Al Gouge: Thank you. Let me try to explain why I am here today. I come to you not as a scientist but as a concerned citizen of our world, the one we all share.
Minister of Domestic Welfare, Denyd: (whispering) Sultan wake up, and nudge Marsden and Bartleby. This guy is easily the most boring speaker Ive heard, and Ive listened to Marsden's finance reports!
Minister of Alcohol, Bartleby: Oh, I was just thinking about the wine distribution.
Al Gouge: (continues unaware of previous conversation or anything other than his own agenda) The Council leadership is experimenting with fission powered rocket engines. They pose a terrible environmental hazard that could seriously damage our biosphere and wipe out whole species from our planet.
Minister of Diplomacy, Dutchfire: For what would they need fission powered rocket engines?
Al Gouge: They intend to create a huge spaceship and settle on another world, thus spreading the civilization of The Council to another world. A noble idea, but not at the cost of the environment of this one. Why the damage already done is terrible. Why, the indigenous population of the Ruby-throated, spotted, yellow-bellied butt sniffer has already been reduced by 2%!
Senator Gbno1fan: What is it that you require of us, then, Mr. Gouge?
Al Gouge: I was hoping you would support me in trying to convince my government about a more environmentally safe alternative, like a hybrid combination of wind and gerbil power.
Chamnix: Thank you, Mr. Gouge, you may leave now as I meet with my assembly.
Al Gouge looks as if he wants to speak for 8 more hours but then leaves.
Marsden: That's 2 hours of my life I'm not getting back.
Senator Grey Beard: How can we hope to influence The Council in their experiments?
Senator Nobody: Perhaps we can send them a note.
Minister of Finance, Marsden: I dont think this is any of our business. Letem kill as many butt sniffers as they want. Stupid things are vermin, any way.
Chamnix: Quiet.
Marsden: Ulp. Yes your Royal Sultanic Majesty.
Cyc: There is more than that, I have reliable information that The Council is harboring the Babe government in exile.
Chamnix: How did you come by this information?
Cyc: General W told me.
Greekguy: Well, thats certainly inflammatory.
Calis: Inflammatory! Thats a slap in our face after millennia of cooperation and peace! We must do something!
Bartelby: Ill stop their wine shipment. That will get their attention.
Chamnix: No, agree to keep the trade in place but I will have dutchfire negotiate a new agreement with Free to buy your wines. This calls for stronger action.
Denyd: What do you have in mind?
Chamnix: As you know, most navy ships have a much better attacking ability than defending, so a coordinated strike could possibly destroy The Councils navy in one attack. Then all that would remain is to mop up the survivors. This would be the only way to ensure the safety of Saber from Councils bizarre experiments and back stabbing ways.
Marsden: Surely you arent suggesting we attack The Council without at least giving them fair warning?
Chamnix: I am! And dont call me Shirley! If they mean so damn much to you then why dont you write to them and explain it to them.
Marsden: What about dutchfire? Hes our Minister of Diplomacy!
Dutchfire: Dont bother me, Ive got finals.
Marsden: Oh.
Chamnix: Lets put it to a vote, Aye, its passed. The attack will begin as soon as we are ready. Marsden is officially in charge of writing the letter explaining the war and the attack and so on.
Calis: If there is no new business, this Assembly is adjourned.
Epilogue:
The Place: Marsden s Haunted Castle in the suburbs of Baldric.
Marsden: Id better get right on this, its important to treat the others with some respect, even if they are harboring the Babe government and adding to the length of time it takes to do everything. I really intend to do a good job on this, everyone is counting on me. Whats this, a Simpsons marathon?
Ten hours later: Uhh. What was I supposed to not forget to do? Take out the cat and feed the trash. Zzzzz.
Elephantium
Malcolm was a very good cat.
Very nice.
Now I understand everything! It all makes perfect sense. If only all histories were this easy to
Who's this Al Gouge guy that backstabbed us so dastardly? 
I think it's Donsig.... he's been a little jeckyll&hydey lately, don't you think? 
No - wait!! It must be Zyxy
No - wait!! It must be Zyxy
General_W
Councilor & Merlot Noble
Ehem ... I believe it's spelled "Satanic"
tsk tsk - proper spelling is very important gentlemen!
EDIT:
Spoiler :
What? No points for honesty?!?
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