My turn again. Nothing much to say here, so I’ll get on to what I did to give the smackdown to those foolish Russian heretics—or something like that.
Turn 0 inspection: I have serious doubts if
IBT: A cossak attacks Yaroslavl’, completely ignoring the wounded stack right next to it. It withdraw, severely wounded, and will be properly owned next turn.
Turn 01 (472)
The ever-cultured Kushans finish their catapult among much moaning about broken nails and ruined complexions, and although they would much rather spend 43 whole turns building the forbidden Palace, the machine lord’s expansionist will requires more stuff to throw perfectly good rocks around with.
Catapult in Kushans, due in 9.
Krasnoyarsk finishes its theatre. This proved to be an unpopular move, since the city’s name was often shortened to Kras among the general populace, and truly no one wants to visit a crass theatre. And while the Krasnoyarskans or however you say it would much rather have a library, if only to have somewhere where they can reliably check exactly how the name of their city is called, the Great Machine Lord requires rock-flingers.
Catapult in Krasnoyarsk, due in 19.
Yaroslavl’ comes out of revolt (honestly, where do they get those names from…
and are immediately set to build more catapults, since the previous administration used about fifty of them on suicide runs. Yaroslavl’ youth are sent to man said catapults, although, for inexplicable reasons, many of the recruits like to wear dark clothes, long hair over their faces, make-up and write poems about death. Many of them also signed up for ammunition duty. Inexplicable.
Catapult in 10, other choice was a Jewish temple.
The Cossack is properly dealt with by one of our knights, and I move the wounded stack inside the city for rest until we’re ready to take Moscow.
Bombing and troop movements happen.
IBT: A random Cossack hits and pwns a knight, a rifleman and a Cossack appear at Yaroslavl’s doors.
Turn 02 (473)
A catapult finishes at Bactrian. The people desire a university, if only to figure out how exactly their name was thought up (and settle the eternal conflict between those who believe it comes from Bacteria and those who think it’s actually a secret code for Sebastian Bach’s real name, Trian Bach), a catapult is chosen. The aforementioned factions, around whom Bactrian life is centered, secretly make plans to change the catapult to either throw bacteria at walls (although a way to actually get them
on the catapult was required), or to make them throw classical music (unfortunately, without the existence of even a gramophone, the only way they found is to load up an entire orchestra on the catapult and fling it).
Catapult in Bactria, due in 4.
The Brutish Brutes of Uzbek finish their Catapult (or, based on the words of the great Oracle of Youth, Catapuu, which, in Uzbek’s dialect, means ‘Rock-flinging spoon’
, and are given the choice between a Catapult and a Taoist temple. And while some debate
did actually happen this time (simply because the Brutish Brutes found the name ‘Taoist’ to be almost as funny as ‘duck’
, the choice finally settled on another Catapuu, because, well… The Brutish Brutes of Uzbek like to have things that throw rocks around.
Catapult in Uzbek, due in 5.
Buddhist temple finished in Paris. The villagers are given a choice between the Forbidden Palace and a catapult, and in a typically Parisian disdainful way, scoffed at what they considered to be nothing but a mere imitation of Versailles.
Catapult in Paris, due in 3.
Vladivostok bombed to 28%.
IBT: a catapult suicides against our Vladivostok stack, and a Cossack kills a reinforcing catapult!
That Cossack is a problem, actually, since it just entered our territory…
Turn 03 (474)
Orleans finished its Courthouse, and yet
another catapult is lined up in 10 turns. The Great Machine Lord seems to believe we can destroy any enemy, so long as we can fling enough rocks at it. I am inclined to agree, and not just because I don’t want to get lynched like the poor bas—er, horrible heretic who dared question if, perhaps, getting more than just catapults would be a good idea.
As if to answer, Lyons finishes its catapult and I’m offered a knight! Woo!
Knight in 27 turns. Bah.
CG3 longbowman is upgraded to Rifleman to answer the danger of the marauding Cossack.
Chuck Norris and his 3 catapults arrive at Vladivostok. I expect it to be captured next turn; Chuck Norris breaks any barrier.
IBT: Knight moves south, towards Uzbek. The Brutish Brutes stand ready.
Turn 04 (475)
A Knight finishes in Beijing, with brilliantly designed armor created by the two great engineers in the city. The choice is between the global theatre and a catapult, and the two engineers are told the Global Theatre was picked. Without their interference, the catapult will be done next turn.
The Rampaging Cossack kills one of our plantations. In retaliation, the Brutish Brutes of Uzbek equip themselves with Rifles, which, as told by the Oracle of Youth, are renamed, in the Uzbek dialect, as ‘Boon-boOns’. With the fourth o capitalized.
Chuck Norris’ mere presence in Vladivostok causes the defenses to fall down to 0% (although it
could be due to the 4 catapults bombing it…
. A grenadier kills the defending riflemen without taking an inch of damage, and a Combat 3 Musketman does the same for the pikeman (though he gets hurt to 3.2/9 in the process), and the city is ours!
I hesitate on whether or not I should keep it, seeing as it’s quite useless, but I keep it in the end, seeing as we’re aiming for Domination.
Next target is St. Pete’s, which is also on a hill, has 2 riflemen in it and might be a tough nut to crack.
IBT: A Cossack suicides against Yaroslavl’, and a knight I used to inspect St. Pete’s defenses is killed by a Rifleman. Bah!
Turn 05 (476)
The Parisians finish their catapult, and once more the faction clamoring for the forbidden palace is ignored, scoffed at and chosen to be stoned, a Parisian dialect oddity meaning ‘Used as munition for our next catapult’. Catapult due in 4.
The marauding knight kills a cottage, but unfortunately I have absolutely
nothing capable of killing it. All I can do is grit my teeth and glare at it. It doesn’t do much, unfortunately, although I’m pretty sure its horse twittered a bit.
IBT: an Artillery(!!!!!!) attacks our stack and almost breaks its teeth on Chuck Norris. It hurts 8 of our troops, however, and that’s not good.
Turn 06 (477)
Scientific Method due in 4. We
need to fix our tech lead problem…
Bactrian finishes its catapult, and I’m given a choice between the Globe Theatre and… a settler. Well, damn.
Settler due in 9.
Our wounded stack is moved in Yaroslavl’ for some quick healing, after one of our knight handles the artillery. I think our job just got more complicated.
Turn 07 (478)
Beijing finishes its catapult, and the choice is between a Knight and the Globe Theatre. Seeing as the city is unhappy, I pick the Threatre.
Globe Theatre due in 13.
The Brutish Brutes of Uzbek finish their catapuu. Despite the continuing amusing factor of Taoist in the Brutish Brutes of Uzbek’s Brutal minds, they start building some Takatakshling, in the words of the ever-wise oracle of Youth. In common dialect, a Takatakshling is a Knight.
Knight in Uzbek, due in 14.
The Marauding Cossack is finally taken care of before he can maraud further. Unfortunately, he takes with him a catapult, badly wounds another, a 70% chance to win Riflemen before finally being taken care of by a Longbow. He also pillaged a hamlet, a silk plantation and a horse stables. Having destroyed such a powerful outlaw, the longbowman is given a properly fitting name.
Turn 08 (479)
Yakutsk comes out of revolt, and the only choice I’m given is a catapult. Due in 60, because the city’s under a LOT of cultural pressure from Moscow.
IBT: An artillery attacks Yakutsk, and is killed by a Grenadier. The troops are hurt, though.
Turn 09 (480)
Catapult finishes in Paris, another one is lined up.
Vladivostok comes out of revolt, and the choice is between a knight and a courthouse. I pick the knight, then check inside the city…
…to see I should have picked the Courthouse. -12 gpt in maintenance, ouch…
Turn 10 (481)
Scientific method is in! And I’m given---
Arghhh. Economics picked, if only because it was the cheapest of the two. Due in 9. Hopefully we’ll be offered Steel next.
I trade scientific Method to Alex for Nationalism, all his gold and his world map. I *could* have gotten Astronomy instead, but honestly galleons aren’t worth as much as Nationhood to draft some quick forces, especially not on a map with no water.
Bank done in Shanghai, yet another catapult is lined up. Faced with our blatant lack of tech, the only defense is lots and lots of collateral damage.
Catapult done in Kushans, knight lined up in 12.
And the good news is, we’ve got oil! 2 of it!
As for Peter, he’s only got one. And better news yet, it’s at Khabarovsk, the city between Giza and Vladivostok. I send a small stack to capture it.
And I end it here.
Peter’s near-total lack of oil is a godsend, though I wonder if we’ll be able to enjoy it. With our forces and tech lead the way they are, I doubt we can kill Peter, especially not if he’s got artillery running around. All it’d take is a counterattack with artillery and Cossacks and we’d be DEAD.
My suggestion is to take St. Pete’s, maybe Moscow if you think you can, then sue for peace and tech up. We’ll be behind, yes, but Peter has no oil, so as soon as Flight starts coming in, he’ll be behind us militarily. Blitzkrieg ftw!
I
think I did a good move with that last trade with Alex, but I could be wrong.
Our stack will be healed next turn, so the next player (That’s you, Ralph) is free to start the attack. Either Moscow or St. Pete would make a good target, with Moscow having the dual advantage of bringing our eastern stack into the action, and of not being on a hill. As the capital, though, it’s probably heavily defended, and it’s quite some distance away from our western front, so a counter-attack is pretty much assured.
Just remember.
Peter has Artillery. They hurt.
move, only 9 tiles from Beijing.
