The History of Humanity-Alpha Centurai

[The Number Pi]

Sorry for the delay. Here is the next update!

Spoiler :

A fine example of desert terraforming can be found in the colonisation of Sigma Centurai, in the Alpha Centurai system. Scientists scoured the desert looking for something from which to base their efforts off of. Unlike Earth, deserts on alien worlds are truely empty places; no foliage, water, or even small animals. This presents a great challenge: starting the ecosystem. Other landscapes usually have something to work with, but deserts are barren.

To overcome this obstacle, considerable effort is necessary. The scientific team from Quincy in January 2248 developed an innovative method for the desert to the northeast. They bio-engineered a special fungus, Centurai terranius, which was able to leech Hydrogen and Oxygen from the ground. Over a period of weeks, the fungus was able to amass considerable stores as it weas deployed in the region. The fungus then began to synthesise water. This water was combined with seeds carried by the fungi. From this diverse life gained a foothold in the region (the seeds were not of the fungus, but of other species; the fungus merely carried them).

Terraforming of slightly more useful land is shown through the eforts of the scientists of Adams, Jefferson, and Quincy (again). In the years 2248 and 2249, teams from these cities terraformed the common Sigma Centurai-ian landscape into fertile land, similar to that of Earth.

The problem of the rusty soil of Sigma Centurai was that it had too great of a mineral and metal concentration to be good farmland, while at the same time lacking vital nitrates and moisture. Many techniques had been used in the past; but the ones discussed here are most similar to modern practices.

Most of the metals in the soil were heavily oxidised and rusted. This allowed scientists acess to abundane oxygen supplies. Minerals were reacted with acids on a large scale to create Hydrogen gas. Recent energy-absorbtion efforts had removed the strong winds the region usually experienced, so the gas was relitavely easy to trap: a large tent-like cieling was placed over the region to trap the gas. Forced reactions between the Oxygen and Hydrogen produced water.

This solved the moisture problem. Also, it served another purpose: as it trickled into the soil, it leeched the metals down with it. The metals were disperced enough that the water could dissolve them. This opened the way for pioneer organisms to begin to produce nitrates and nitrites; imports from the southern mines helped too. The end result was a large amount of ariable land.

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Spoiler :

The Number Pi: Hello, Ethan Carter, there is something I must tell you.
Ethan Carter: What is it? Oh, before you go on, would you lkie a cup of coffee? Based on past events; it's probabily a good trade deal, or even an alliance?
The Number Pi: Well, no. Regretably, I am declaring war.
Ethan Carter: War?!?! Why? What has Jail Rock Inc. done to offend you?
The Number Pi: Nothing. It's just that I must conquer this planet, and your nation is nearby, and weak. I offer you the chance now to surrender; without fighting. As the technology does not exist yet for one state to dominate another, your land would be annexxed. No vassals in this game....
Ethan Carter: I can't accept that. To battle then!
The Number Pi: We are now enemies, show no mercy, and expect none from me.
Ethan Carter: Well this is annoying. I used to think our nations were friends. Now you are my worst enemy! I SHALL DESTROY YOU!!!
*The Number Pi leaves; an hour passes*
*he glances at his map:*

Spoiler :

Ethan Carter: ARGGGHHH! That was fast!!!
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Spoiler :

Chieko Teramura: Accept this deal. Show some intelligence.
The Number Pi: Hmmmm.... very well. I accept.
Chieko Teramura: Good. That will be all-
The Number Pi: Now about showing intelligence.... Let's see...

Spoiler Extremely Advanced Math :

The Number Pi:2+2=4!!!!

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Spoiler :

The Number Pi: The governemnt needs restructuring. I want science to be predominate in our society. Also, I want Earth to recognise us as a legitamate power; and I want a fair alliance, not to be a colony.
The Number Pi: (the one from Earth) Fair enough. You are now an ally, not a colony, of America. What's the ETA on those soldiers?
The Number Pi: Working on it. There are many enemies over here you know!

The Number Pi: Now about the science.... I'm sure nobody will even consider protesting these changes, let alone rebellion and civil war.
*5 minutes later*
The Number Pi: WHY WOULD SOMEBODY EVEN CONSIDER REVOLTING AGAINST THE LOSS OF MOST PERSONAL FREEDOMS TO THE BENEFIT OF SCIENCE?!?!?!?! WHO DOES NOT WANT TO FIGHT ENDLESSLY TO SUPPORT A GOVERNMENT MANY LIGHTYEARS AWAY?!?!?! Oh.... never mind....
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Spoiler :

John Preston: I hereby dedicate this academy to the betterment of humanity. To fight for unity and peace. We will end this civil war; and defeat the Jail! From here, nothing will stop us!

The American general, John Preston, founded a military academy during the civil war of 2250. He trained elite units to defeat rebel forces, and reinforce the front lines. This academy was a valuable asset to the government in the difficult times it was pushing through.
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Spoiler :

During the civil war, terraforming efforts were continued; although the effects were unknown until government authority was later reestablished.

During the civil war of 2250; rebel groups hid in the countryside, fighting a gurella war. This isolated land was difficult o sustain a base of combatants on. So, scientists were captured and forced to terraform the land. Due to the lack of records, and the fact that the rebels murdered the scientists before being captured, we know little of what methods were implemented.

Testing of the soil indicated that large, underground, lakes were tapped into. With these wells, irrigation projects were easily carried out. Resiliant; nutrient-producing bacteria and plants were used to change the land. Although they had no direct value to humans; they transformed the land into something that could support better agriculture and domestication.

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Spoiler :

Spoiler General's Journal :

The siege of Alcatraz was a brutal one. We used our massed artillary to decimate their defenses, months of shelling reduced most of the city to rubble, when we finally reached the town square, we wre surrounded with ruins and corpses.

Mechanized forces, troop carriers and tanks, were the ones to enter first. They blew through the defending infantry. When the enemy tried to run, out Golitah units outflanked them and killed the runners. These "battlemechs" are truely amazing! A great fear of American engineering and production. No nation can hope to math them, we must use them at every opportunity possible.

With the soldiers swept aside, we had to press onward. Snipers and civilian militia faced us at every destoyed building. We started to actually shoot down anything that might have held enemies. Who knows how many civilians we killed this way?

Arriving at the center square; we declared victory. We imposed martial law, and imposed a strong garrisson. Reconstruction of buildings was first. I am not one of the engineers, so I don't know specifics. I do know that many riots for materials had to be put dowm. Many months passed before normal functionality returned to the place. During this time, at least 1237 civilians were killed due to the rioting. We would have burned the place, like we did in Guntanimo, but the Commander wants to keep as much as is possible.

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Spoiler :

May 2251 was a onth of great success in terraforming. New plants and animals taken from the Jail War as loot were implemented in the north, and found to by highly adaptive and useful.

The Arawak ship had been supplied with all matter of genetic supplies and terraforming organisms. When it was destroyed, they were lost. Some colonies from the ship manages to take some with them into the escape pods though. And they used them. However, each organism was fine tuned to a certain region of the planet. And was most sucessful there. The colonists did not know where they should land to benefit from this the most, so the organisms were scattered and not meeting teir potential.

America happened to be on the location where the Jail organisms were designed for. Once unleashed, they set about transforming the lans with unparalleled success. Once this succeeded, they mutated and evolved to fit as food sources in these landscapes. America had never seen such advanced technology.

Many theories were presented as to how the organisms were so sucessful. The most commmon one is that, abord the Arawak ship, the auto-labs were working with the observation computer to create the creatures for each environment. Some testing revealed that evolution in an environment that it was not well-suited for made the organisms more conservative in their use of resources, leading to great efficiency once they were in ideal conditions.

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Spoiler :

We took Robben Island today. It was a long siege. I am still having trouble hearing after all the artillary. This was an "easier" fight than Alacatraz, in that the citizens were more willing to not try to get us to shoot them. Still, a bucketload of them died trying to stop us from taking their store of plants and animals. More had to be sent to the scientists. Appatently they were extremely good for terraforming back home!

The General is saying that the army is going to rest here for a fwe months. We need to make repairs to the tanks, carriers, battlemechs.... I just realised I should be guading the power room! My shift started 15 minutes ago!

Records show that a small riot in the power room killed this soldier, as well as 3 others and wounded a further 27. 132 civilians were killed; and 326 were wounded. As a result of this, 1000 were imprisoned.
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Spoiler :

Scientist: Here is my report on the state of terraforming operations, Commander.
The Number Pi: Amazing progress! This is truely a great achievement!
Scientist: Yes. I am actually writing a book about-
The Number Pi: OK, OK. As good as it is, the war is more intereesting. General! How is it going?
General: See for yourself:

Spoiler :

The Number Pi: So we won? Good. Where is Ethan Cater?
General: He disappeared... it is strange. One minute he was there, the next he was not.
Typer: Not to worry, he is safe here.
Ethan Carter: Hi Anish Hawa.
Anish Hawa Hello, fellow leader-who-was-conquered-by-The Number Pi. We get a front row view to world conquest. I suggest getting some popcorn, I think it's about to get pretty good.

Spoiler :

Anish Hawa Told you!

 

[The Number Pi]

Very sorry for no updates in a week. Just not enough time.

I'm typing an update now.

Spoiler Preview :

Are you sure?

Spoiler yes :

Absolutely?

Spoiler yes! :

Beyond the shadow of a doubt?

Spoiler yes already!!!! :

No uncertainty beyond this point.

Spoiler I hate spoilers... :

No turning back now:

Spoiler :

WOOHOO!!! SUPERPOWER!!!!

 

[The Number Pi]

Spoiler :

Chapter 27: The Jail Region

Once the political, social, and economical disarray resulting from the American conquest and occupation was past, the door was opened for scientists to terraform the cold region into a place that could easily sustain agriculture. Great leaps were made in the years 2253, 2255, and 2257.

In the year 2255; more specifically in March, scientists made small progress in terraforming some tundra into more fertile plains. Although warmer, the region still had little moisture. This is due to a variety of reasons. One such reason is that the ice, that held the moisture, was evaporated to reach the soil. The winds in the region swept it away, leaving behind only a marginal amount of water. So, the ability of the region to produce crops was roughly the same.

This seems to be a contradiction. Why terraform a land just to have the same result? There are two reasons for this.
1) The technology used was fairly experimental, and full infastructure did not yet exist in the area. Terraforming a region that was only used for mining and production meant that any errors made would by of no consequence.
2) The more important reason. Terraforming must be done in stages. Too drastic of a change would not permit new lifeforms to take hold. They need time to evolve and adapt. Genetic manipulation helps, but can only do so much.

This small effort paid off. Complete terraforming was achieved in a region to the southwest of Alcatraz in 2255. Of course earlier efforts had laid the groundwork, but they are not the focus of this chapter. Scientists from the main American cities had flocked to the region once romours of raiding parties and dissent were dispelled by the government. They brought their knowledge. many universities even made it a graduation requirement for some students to aid in the terraforming.

Finally we come to 2257. Some plains were increased in their fertility by scientists mimicing conditions of standard Sigma Centurai-ian soil. Although less than ideal, the next stage of terraforming in that area would by complete. More infastructure in the cities in the region made it easier for scientists to complete their objectives.

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Spoiler :

The Number Pi: More science you say?
Dr. Elden Tyrell: Indeed. I propose the founding of a fine learning establishment, one that will increase the scientific output of all scientists in the city by an estimated 49.99999999%.
The Number Pi: OK then. Go ahead.Other colonies are starting to get technologies that we don't yet have. Although we are more advanced i other areas, I don't want to fall behind. Work hard, and hopefully we will become far more advanced than any other.
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General: Scout party, report!
Sergent: We see no way through the ice, sir. We will have to go around.
General: This will add months to the campaign! Are you sure? I do not want to have to pass through those sandstorms again if I don't have to.
Sergent: No way through, sir. Look at the map. It stands to reason that the ise extends to the regions we have not scouted out. Why would the Jail not have conquered the Martians if they could have gone through?

Spoiler :

General: *sigh* Very well. We turn back. I can't believe that the Commander wants us to go all this way for a small colony. We should be getting reinforcements to launch an attack on the Chinese!
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Spoiler :

Scientist: Woo! In your face! We terraformed 3 areas!
Scientist2: Yeah, but you're in the north. You have all that support there! Try getting anything done here! It's getting better, but nothing like back home...
Scientist: But you forget one thing.
Scientist2: What?
Scientist: We terraformed 3 areas! And you barely have anything done!
Scientist2: We'll see who has the last laugh!
Scientist: I will: hahaha
Scientist2: No, me: mwhahahahah!!!
*5 hours later*
Scientist: HA!
Scientist2: HA-HA!
The Number Pi: *duct tapes their mouthes closed* SHUT UP! What you will do is go see a comedic show of some sort, whoever laughs the longest wins!
Advisor: How does that address the rivalry regarding terraforming progress?
The Number Pi: It doesn't, but 2, far more importing things were accomplished.
Advisor: What?
The Number Pi: I finally found a use for this duct tape. And, I just happened to raise ticket prices 32149-875%!
...
...
...
The Number Pi: HA!
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Spoiler :

I did not make up this name-that's the actual one in game!
Chewbacca: *roar*
The Number Pi: Really? Like back on Earth?
Chewbacca: *roar*
The Number Pi: Which one is it like?
Chewbacca: *roar*
The Number Pi: Jewlers, just with science instead of culture?
Chewbacca: *roar*
The Number Pi: Great! What will you call it?
Chewbacca: *roar*
The Number Pi: "iPear Computers"? Good for you, you pair computers. What about the name of the corporation?
Chewbacca: *roar*
The Number Pi: No! I will not stop repeating everything you say in my responce!
Chewbacca: *roar*
The Number Pi: Oh! I see a combination of "i" products, and a pun on products named after fruit!
Chewbacca: *roar*
The Number Pi: You can go now. I must speak to myself.
*Chewbacca leaves*
The Number Pi: This will finance much expansion! If I spread it to every city, I gain huge profits directly. the science helps too! This is like the holy grail of corporations! World domination, here I come!




I mean world conquest... Domination is disabeled.
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Spoiler :

Scientist:
Scientist2:
The Number Pi: HA!
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Spoiler :

Mining Robot: Beep! Beep! Bop! Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!
Mining Robot2: Bep! BEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPP!!!! Bop! Beep!
Mining Robot: BeepBeep!
Mining Robot2: Beep? Beep Beep Bop!
Mining Robot: Beep! Beep! Bop! Beep!
Mining Robot2:BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPP!!!
Mining Robot: Beep? Beep BBBBBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!
Mining Robot2: Bop beep! Beep!
Mining Robot: You are cleared to pass through the metal detector.
Mining Robot2: Yep.
Miner: Ummm... great.
*he goes to the office of the head miner*
Miner: Head Miner! I have found something!
Head Miner: Is it a head? I've been looking for one for 23 years!
Miner: No.... It's nitrate!
Head Miner: No heads?
Miner: No.
Head Miner: Skulls?
Miner: No.
Head Miner: So it's just some nitrate?
Miner: Yes.
Head Miner: Thwen why come here? Why not go to the Nitrate Miner's office? Or at least the Mining Leader's office?
Miner: I'm new here. I thought "Head Miner" meant the leader of the mine.
Head Miner: HAHAHAH! That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard!!! And I suppose you think the Cart Operator drives the carts, instead of performing surgery on them too, right? HAHAHAHA!
Miner: *leaves and goes to The Number Pi's office*
Miner: Look! I found nitrate! We have a whole mine shaft of the stuff!
The Number Pi: Ummmm... what should I say to that?
Typer: *hands a script*
The Number Pi: Wow! That's good! *as he says it, a hovercraft drowns out the sound*
Miner: Very well then!
Typer: I will write wehat it said..... but not now.
*11571650150 nanoseconds later*
Typer: It said: "Say something witty".
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Spoiler :

The Number Pi: Maybe I should call it the iCluster Computers? Well, it will benefit science greatly, right?
Scientist: No, it's for a new game we scientists bought. Called "Civilization IV".
Typer: You can't play the game we are in! Convert it to science immediately! And give me all the Civilization games now!
Scientist:
The Number Pi: LOOK! Is that an object traveling faster that light?
Scientist: Where?!?! I must investigate this!!!
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Spoiler :

Desert landscapes are usually difficult to terraform. However, the city of Tyler had the advantage of abundant water resources nearby. irrigation pprojects flooded huge amonts of desert, making it more productive. Although it was possible to continue; a debate was raised at the time about how terraforming the desert could destroy the world. Today, we know that the theory is unfounded, and was likely the result of a rivalry between scientists.

Scientist2: According to this equation:

If=we*terra-form*the^(desert)*then-we+will-dest(roy)+the*world

If we terrafoem the desert we will destroy the world!
Scientist: Nonsence!
The Number Pi: Wait... this equation looks slightly familiar.... *glances at the title "If we terraform the desert then we will destroy the world" Nope. Can't place my finger on it. But that must mean it's true! Stop for now.
Scientist:
Scientist2:
Scientist: Well, look at this! I wonder how all that could have come about? Probabily because te world is ending from desert terraforming.

Spoiler :

Scientist2: I WANT TO TERRAFORM THE SOUTHERN COLONIES LIKE THAT!!! *starts crying*
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Spoiler :

The Number Pi: *Speaking very quickly* Hi! Just wanted to stop by and tell you I'm declaring war. Ok, bye.
Charles D'Artagan: What?!?! Begin the evacuations!!!!

*time passes*

Charles D'Artagan: Well, my soldiers have held back the advancing army for long enough for everyone except me to get on the ship headed for Mars. I am the last one to go on. I will narrate everything I do, and step on slowly.....

*soldiers capture him, the ship leaves*

Charles D'Artagan: Drat. Off to the leaders-The Number Pi-has-defeated area...

Ethan Carter: Welcome!
Anish Hawa: yeah. Grab some popcorn and a seat! There's still a long way to go!
Typer: Refreshments are available in the lobby. In the event of a fire, or other emergency, please calmy exit through the specified emerency doors.

Spoiler :

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General: Look at this Commander!
The Number Pi: A seven-legged horse doing jumping-jacks? Where?!?!
General: In the mutant zoo. but thhat's not the point. Look at this intelligence report:

Spoiler :

The Number Pi:

 

[AdrienIer]

why not DoW Chen and Kunetsov at the same time ? That should be quite the challenge ! But if you prefer attacking the weakest civ possible each time, it's your call.

 

[The Number Pi]

why not DoW Chen and Kunetsov at the same time ? That should be quite the challenge ! But if you prefer attacking the weakest civ possible each time, it's your call.

I want time to buildup another army or two, as well as some defender soldiers (just in case an army slips through). Attacking the weakest civs was because
1) India had DoW'd me before.
2) Jail was right next to it, and culture was a problem.
3) Martians were (semi)close too.

Spoiler war plans :

Japan will probabily be next. They are a moderate power. After that I will attack Korea. They are small and weak, but have DP's with both Russia and China. That will give this game a much-needed World War!

 

[The Number Pi]

I'm typing an update right now.

There will probabily be 1 update per week-I'll try to make them good ones!

Also, terraforming has started to occur at insane rates; for updates after this one, I will stop adding them to the story because I just cannot think of that many things to say about it! (If you really really want me to keep it in, I will )

 

[The Number Pi]

Spoiler :

The Number Pi: OK. This meeting is in session. What can be done to improve the government and/or the military?
Advisor1: Well we could simple become a dictatorship, seeing as you have never lost an election. Ever.
The Number Pi: :shrug: The votes don't lie. The fact that I have 123476195802 means little.
Advisor2: We could have a giant bake sale, to raise funds.
The Number Pi: As delicious as that sopunds, iPear Computers is financing almost everything at this point. There is no use, though I would like to order 3 dozen cookies!
Advisor3: We could make the androids do all the work! They would make excelent soldiers too!

.....................................

The Number Pi: .....You realise that I am an android? Right?
Advisor3: Oh.... Well that explains how there is still a government back on Earth....
The Number Pi: Well I think it is a good idea, but for the record, let there be civil war!
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Spoiler :

Android: Beep! Bop! BEEEEEEEEPPPPPP!!!!
The Number Pi: Ummmm, that is a prototype, right?
Scientist: Yes, it is. But it can easilt increase Washington's efficiency in multiple areas while we run tests....
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Spoiler :

The Number Pi: Are you crazy?!?!?!?! Haven't you seen the Terminator Series?!?!?! Do you want to kill us all?!?!?!
Great Engineer: Don't worry. It's just the code-name.
The Number Pi: Then what is the real name?
Great Engineer: Oh... uhhhhh "Very Deadly Potential Destroyer of Humanity". But there is only a .00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 chance that it will not kill us all.
The Number Pi: Hmmmm... I like those odds! Just to be safe, you will be sacrificed to complete it.
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Spoiler :

Scientist: OK, fellow group of scientists! Here's what we are going to do! Make a project, but call it "Rosetta". Any questions?
Other scientists: WOOHOO!!!! Something to do other than terraforming!
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Spoiler :

Kim Chen: Hi. I was wondering if you could do a small thing for China.
The Number Pi: Destroy your armies, capture your cities and assimilate your empire? Easy enough.
Kim Chen: NO!!! Just... stop trading with Japan.
The Number Pi: And if I don't want to?
Typer: Then, being the annoying, cheating, AI that he is; he will attack you at just the most inconvient time. Japan is a single city anyway. Big deal.
The Number Pi: Ummmm... OK.... I'll cancel the trades...
Kim Chen: Really? Great! Not you are slightly weaker! And I can invade you at the most inconvient time with greater success! I mean.... thanks.
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Spoiler :

Mining Android: YEAH!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Another great day mining in a dark pit in the middle of nowhere!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Artifically programmed life could not be better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Scanning Android: Look! Look! It is a subsrtance that fits the molecular pattern of Silicon!!! Mine it! Mine it!
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Now for the extremely uncreative part.... Sorry, but I am completely out of ideas for the terraforming!
Terraforming Professor: And here is a power Point Presentation of various recent terraforming achievements!

Spoiler :

Terraforming Professor: Any questions?
The Class:





Terraforming Professor:

 

[The Number Pi]

Spoiler :

The Number Pi: Russia is full of nukes?!?! What technology is this?!?!?!?! I can't even build the SDI, so nobody could have built the Manhattan Project equililant!
Typer: Calm down. Look, they have nothing. Use the bonuses espionoge gives you.
The Number Pi: Well that would explain all those strange python error, no Tactical Nuke Enum errors tyhat keep appearing.... Theyt had better not nuke my armies as they close in on their cities!
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Spoiler :

Citizen: EEK! Look! It's a volcano!!!
Android Police Officer: Run! Leave the area!
*much frenzied runnning later*
The Number Pi: Damage report!
Android Advisor: We lost a gold mine.
The Number Pi: No big deal. We have another. Send workers to repair it as quickly as we can.
Typer: Grrr.... I hate the RNG sometimes!
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Spoiler :

Android Scientist: These plants are advanced!
Scientist: Quite true!
Random Plant Enthusiast: You can say that again!
Android Scientist: I am well aware of what I am able to repeat.
Scientist: Or are you?
Android Scientist: I am.
Scientist: Or are you?
Android Scientist: I am.
Scientist:
Random Plant Enthusiast: Right... Before I go, "Who's on first?"
*a long discussion follows, where no clear conclusion is ever reached*
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Spoiler :

Speech Maker: Four score and seven years ago, I had a dream that the die was cast!
Audience: What an amazing speeck!
The Number Pi: Quick! Write that down! I will use it in my next re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re election campaign!
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Android Professor: Here is another slide show about terraforming. Stay awake! *shoots someone with a weak laser*

Spoiler :

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The Number Pi: Holy Large Number of Screenshots that are fairly useless by this point, Batman! Advisors! What good news is there?
Advisor1: I got a haircut.
Android Advisor: No, you got them all cut.
Advisor2: That boring screenshot tidal wave is over.
Military Advisor: Pick me!
The Number Pi: Ummmm. OK.
Military Advisor: These diagrams:

Spoiler :

*insert picture of a Risk game here*

Military Advisor: Show that we almost have conquered the world!
Typer: I'll do it then....

Spoiler :

Everybody:







:


Sorry that this was not the best update. I update based on screenshot count. And when I could not think of anything for the terraforming.... the update is not that good. Next time, with terraforming omitted, it should be much better. The war with Russia should be good too.

 

[AdrienIer]

That was a transition update, so it's OK if it wasn't your best. It's hard to make things interesting when nothing's happening. And there's no need to keep the terraforming screenshots if you don't have anything funny to go with it.

 

[The Number Pi]

First of all, I'm sorry I did not have time to update. I really should have time on the weekend.

That was a transition update, so it's OK if it wasn't your best. It's hard to make things interesting when nothing's happening. And there's no need to keep the terraforming screenshots if you don't have anything funny to go with it.

Thank you for understanding!

 

[Darth Caesar]

Take all the time you need.

 

[The Number Pi]

Take all the time you need.

I have an update!

Spoiler Preview :

Spoiler ANOTHER Preview! :

]

Typing the update now!

 

[The Number Pi]

Spoiler :

Alexander Kusnezow: So, what is it you would like to discuss?
The Number Pi: Nothing much. The weather, good cheeses, *quickly* the sneak attack of your capital by two unstoppable armies.
Alexander Kusnezow: Well I hear that it rained cheese on Earth's moon.. and wait! You are declaring war?!?!
The Number Pi: *to military advisor* You said he wouldn't notice!
Military Advisor: Oh.. well... just keep him talking until the armies reach his capital then.
Alexander Kusnezow: What? I couldn't hear, due to a well-timed hovercraft flying past the window.
The Number Pi: So, any tips as to where your main army is?
Alexander Kusnezow: In my capital! You will never defeat it! Never!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*2 hours later*
Alexander Kusnezow: Never!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Number Pi: Look! A flying saucer! *runs away*
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Spoiler :

Explorer: I have mapped the planet's core!
Random Person: What's located there?
Explorer: Hot rocks.
Random Person: ..... That's it?
Explorer: That's it! And you can read all about it in my autobiography! "Traveling Through a Lot of Moulten Rocks in the Core of Sigma Centurai"! Coming soon to a holo-book store near you!
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Spoiler :

Scientist: *mixing various chemicals* Yes! Of course! *mixes more chemicals* Perfect!
Scientist2: What is it? Have you discovered the missing DNA link in out Quantum-Cryptology research?
Scientist: No. I just made my lunch. The DNA-thingy is over there.*points*
Scientist2: And why did you not tell anyone about this?!?!
Scientist: It was my lunchbreak, and I needed time to make myself a chemical-sandwitch.
Scientist2:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Spoiler :

Korean Citizen: I see the Americans coming! I'll go and tell the city, so we can prepare a defense!
*in the city*
Korean Citizen: The Americans are coming! The Americans are coming!
Other Citizen: EEk! We are doomed! Everybody, run and panic!
*general chaos follows*
American General: Hooray for satellite mind-influence. Charge!

Spoiler :

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
American Soldier: Wow! Look at the size of the army!
Other Soldier: Command estimates that at least half of their forces are here! If we win, the rest will be easy as pi. Err, pie.
Typer: 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510....
General: Artillary, fire!
*extensive bombardment follows*
General: Artillary, fire; kill the soldiers!
*artillary fire, some are destroyed by counterattacks*
General: Charge!!!!!!!
*the army advances into the city*
Soldier: Look over there! It's a Warhammer!
Other Soldier: Wow. It is destroying them!
Tank Commander: WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Second line clear! Move up!
Russian Commander: Fall back! Fall back! *a Mammoth Tank is destroyed by an American Warhammer* The mechs are coming! Get back!!!! *a tank fires and destroys his small encampment*
Several hours later...

Spoiler :

General:
General: I will have revenge!!!! *he is then executed*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
General: My report on the state of the capital's occupation. It appears to be a very powerful city. We should have little trouble continuing the campaign.

Spoiler :

The Number Pi: Great! This victory leaves only China as a potential threat. Continue to conquer the heartlands, then I'll send some reinforcements, then take the weaker areas near China. From there, we can prepare an invasion and crush the only other significant power.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Spoiler :

Scientist: Remember how I was too busy making my lunch to tell you about the DNA?
Scientist2: Yeah, so what?
Scientist: Well, I discovered a delicious food source! I call it "Soilent Green" And I'm starting my own corporation. HA!
Scientist2: *throwsa away his plans for the breakfast cereal "Dirtent Red"*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Alexander Kusnezow: *at an important speech, in Laika* I assure all of you; the invasion will be easily be repelled. It is a small one, our army was unprepared; casualty reports have been exaggerated. We will win. They will not take an inch more of ground!
*an advisor whispers in his ear*
Alexander Kusnezow: Oh. Errmmmm. I just realised that I'm late for a haircut.... at the other side of the empire. Bye!
Commander: Why did he leave, we are still preparing to defeat the... *sees the American army outside the city* oh...

Spoiler :

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Spoiler :

Scientist: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This DNA was to be used to make a great cyborg scientist to replace me when I die!!!!!!
Scientist: Big deal. We won, give up the DNA.
*the DNA is taken through force, and used for research in the field of cybernetics*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Spoiler :

Commander: Well, that takes care of Korea.
1-Invade.... check
2-Kill the soldiers that fought.... check
3-Burn the cities.... check
4-Go through checklist to be sure I did not miss anything vitally important.... check
5-Establish world peace....
Commander: Back to base then!

Typer: You'll have to come through this door here...
Choi Kun: Yeah, yeah. I know the drill.
*enters an interdimensional door*
Choi Kun: Hi everyone. You all lost too?
Charles D'Artagan: Yep. Cought me just before I tried to escape to Mars...
Ethan Carter: Conquered me after India...
Anish Hawa: Attacked me because I invaded him...
Typer: I didn't lose, I'm just here to type!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Spoiler :

Del Spooner: To commorate the defeat of the Koreans, I hereby open... a spoon store!
*confusion in the crowd*
Del Spooner: Well, it is actually a military academy; but I have a stall selling spoons there. All types: fancy, metal, plastic, soup, mixing, wooden, force-field... Oh,, I mean... we will teach you how to kill other armies very effectively!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Messanger: Gereat news!
Alexander Kusnezow: We defeated the Americans?!?!?!
Messanger: Look at the color of my name. Good news for my side!
Alexander Kusnezow: What? You have come to gloat?
Messanger: Yep. Look at this: *hands him a hologram-projector and leaves*

Spoiler :

Alexander Kusnezow:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Messanger: I sure am grateful for teleporatation! That would have been a long trip! Anyway, here is the satellite's view of the Russian heartlands:

Spoiler :

The Number Pi: Perfect! They will never have the production needed to win the war now! Hopefully China will stay out of it long enough for it to be fairly easy...
Kim Chen: Wanna bet?
The Number Pi: Another robot got in? Destroy it!
*zap!*
Kim Chen(robot): Error! Error! Overload! *it explodes*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Spoiler :

Typer: Odd... this was already completed. Oh well! The more stuff the better!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*at the conclusion of a war meeting*
General: And so we have conquered the entire northern portion of Russia, including the former Canadian lands.

Spoiler :

Military Advisor: And I am proud to present you with this great representation of our strength relative to everybody else!

Spoiler :

Military Advisor: That huge dip in Russia's strength is from us destroying their army! The smaller dip in our strength is because apparently the AI thinks it is a good idea to use a suicideal group of units to attack the Stack of Doom advancing on its capital...
*everyone looks confused*
The Number Pi: Typer, I thought I was the only one allowed to say things like that?
Typer: Yeah, but I am the one typing this. The next picture will cheer you up.
Field Commander: Here is the position, strength, and composition of the main army.

Spoiler :

The Number Pi:

I am pretty sure I can have part 2 up tomorrow! I have not played ahead, but I think that China might attack me, just as I am almost finished conquering Russia.

 

[AdrienIer]

Great ! Victory is just a matter of time now, but there is still Gates and Teramura to go. How come the Russians are still alive ? do they have a secondary base or something ?

 

[The Number Pi]

Great ! Victory is just a matter of time now, but there is still Gates and Teramura to go. How come the Russians are still alive ? do they have a secondary base or something ?

They do have a secondary base, near China.

A map, from the end of the last update:

Spoiler :

For some reason, it won't let me enlarge it...
It works fine now!

 

[The Number Pi]

The second part of the Russian War is being typed right now!

A preview:

Spoiler Preview :

*insert 7 hours of commercials here*

Spoiler the Actual Preview! :

 

[The Number Pi]

Spoiler :

Android Miner: *after a power failure* NOOOOOOOOO!!!! Hey, what is that?

.......

It appears to be a green glowing rock-like-thing....

Get me a scanning robot!!!

Android Miner2: We have bigger problems! We still have no power!!!

*later, when power is restored*
Scanning Robot: Scanning...
Scanning...
Scanning... Complete.
Report:
Radiation Level: Significant.
Purity: 87.625%.
Substance: Uranium.
Abundance: A lot.

Android Miner:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Spoiler :

Engineer: My life's work complete!
Random Person: You do realise that this is not Mars, but Sigma Centurai, right?
Engineer: This isn't Mars?!?!?! :suicide:
Random Person: It's still a good stature though, and I'm sure that-- oh.... Can a cleaner-robot remove the remains?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Spoiler :

Russian Commander: NO!!!! This cannot be happening!!!!!

I just landed on Boardwalk, with a hotel, in Monopoly (TM)!!!!
Soldier: Commander! The Americans are attacking!!!! What should we do?
Russian Commander: Enjoy a delicious last meal.... but because the food stores are empty... fight until the death!
*in the American camp*
American General: Yes!!! Victory!!!!
Captain: Is it really necessary to play Bingo during a battle?
American General: But the battle isn't for another week, right?
Captain: That information is a week old....
American General: Oh. In that case, did we win?
Captain: Yes.
American General: Then stop bothering me!!!
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Spoiler :

Miner: I am pleased to report the discovery of another source of nitrate!
The Number Pi: I am pleased to announce that every miner in that mine will now recieve either a .00000000000000000000000000000000001% pay raise or 102570798512054150184375013465$ a day for the rest of their lives, for this mildly-useful discovery!
Miner: I'll take the raise! That's $.000001 extra per day!
The Number Pi: ummmm.... right....
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Spoiler :

Commander: Please don't attack! We want peace!
Commander: But we don't. You only have 2 tank units, it's not like we cannot win or anything...
Commander: So you are attacking anyway?
Commander: Yes.
Commander: Take up defensive positions they are- *the tanks are already destroyed* Awwwww....
Commander:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Spoiler :

BREAKING NEWS!!!

We have captured another city in Russia, Jegorow. Little resistance was met, and the war should be over soon. The information about the battle is classified, due to its grand strategic importance....

The Number Pi: So, how was the battle won?
General: Oh, we sent in the tanks and destroyed the enemy soldiers. Very advanced strategy, I know. It took me 1 week to think of it!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Spoiler :

Spy: Here is the information about the American espionoge. They are only focusing their efforts on making pastries; they are certainly not performing any acts of counter-espionoge. And I am not really a hidden agent giving you false information.
Spy Commander: Great! We sure are lucky that this information is accurate. If it wasn't, I predict a 200% increase in the costs of spying, for at least [the time 22 turns would last in-game].
*one week later*
Spy Commander: Oh....
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Alexander Kusnezow: Now, here at this very important meeting; far from the fighting, I would like to say: we are not losing. we are simple not killing as many of the invaders as needed to stop them from advancing. So all of your accusations are wrong, and I can escape to China... I mean... continue to govern in an effective manner.
Messanger: Intelligence report just arrived!
Alexander Kusnezow: Perfect timing! I'm sure it is full of victories over the invaders! Tell everyone the good news!
Messanger: Probabily not the best idea....
Alexander Kusnezow: Do it!!
Messanger: OK.... Everyone please look to the large holo-screen over there...

Spoiler :

Alexander Kusnezow: *runs away, to his private car/plane/boat/spaceship and leaves the meeting*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Spoiler :

Scientist: This chemical says "Do not mix with chemical 143751.7 and then combine with genetic material from the Arawak ship" Let's see why not.
*5 minutes later*
Scientist: RUN!!!!!!!!!!!
*the scientists run from a number of mutant bacteria/zombie/plant/cyclops monsters*
The Number Pi: Clean this lab up! Investigate the creatures afterwards, see if they make good pets, or at least zoo animals.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Alexander Kusnezow: We still have three cities left. They can't possible afford to expand any further...

Spoiler :

Alexander Kusnezow: ARRRRGHHHH!!!! Well lucky for me I'm still in my reserve capital city, Najran.

...
...
...
*sounds of battle outside the palace*
Alexander Kusnezow: EEK! *starts running*
*the inter-dimensional door opens in front of him, and his momentum propells him inside*
Alexander Kusnezow: Does this mean I lost?
Typer: See for yourself:

Spoiler :

Alexander Kusnezow:
Anish Hawa: Don't think of it as losing, think of it as watching the events from the side.
Ethan Carter: And no annoying citizens: "ensure I don't starve" "protect me from the mutants" "don't kill me for no apparent reason"
Charles D'Artagan: At least you weren't on the wrong planet!
Choi Kun: Don't feel too bad, there's some good popcorn here!



I probabily won't get another update in for a while, 2 weeks possibly.

 

[AdrienIer]

Now you have this "real life" people keep talking about that's forbidding you from updating... Well it's 2 weeks of survival for the Chinese, Japanese and Americans.
That was a good update (again). Your army is just WAY too big for the other lots, it's sometimes frustrating how bad they are at long games.

 

[The Number Pi]

Now you have this "real life" people keep talking about that's forbidding you from updating... Well it's 2 weeks of survival for the Chinese, Japanese and Americans.

Its annoying to only be able to update rarely, but I guess some story is better than none at all.

It is strange....
I tried to go outsidelol, but the multiplayer version has too many bugs....
I once did leave the computer, but the graphics were awful...

Some of my favorite real life/video game jokes

That was a good update (again). Your army is just WAY too big for the other lots, it's sometimes frustrating how bad they are at long games.

Thank you!

The AI never seems to be good at war. Either it surprises you with 1 Stack of Doom that is either beaten immediately or beaten once it takes (and stays in) 1 city; or it sits around with its army in one place, waiting for it to be destroyed. Either way, once the main army is destroyed its just a matter of going city to city with your own Stack of Doom and moving in garrissons once they are taken.

This game is definately a contrast to my first one, with the super Arawak and strong AI's in general; but the AI, even though all very strong, still followed that simple pattern.

This is why I don't fear a robot apoctalypse in 2012

 

[Omega124]

Why isn't Canada in the Hall of Losers? Sure, you weren't the one whom killed them, but still...