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Yeah, it needs to get government assistance to be funny.
The lamest jokes you can think of....... II
- Thread starter Bobbtjoe
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Yeah, it needs to get government assistance to be funny.
Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.
Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."
Vet: "Is it a tom ?"
Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it wi' us."
A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.
Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"
Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
Yorkshireman: "No I want it chewin' a bone, yer daft begger!"
A bloke from Barnsley with a sore backside asks chemist "Nah then lad, does tha sell arse cream?"
Chemist replies "Aye, Magnum or Cornetto?"
Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."
Vet: "Is it a tom ?"
Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it wi' us."
A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.
Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"
Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
Yorkshireman: "No I want it chewin' a bone, yer daft begger!"
A bloke from Barnsley with a sore backside asks chemist "Nah then lad, does tha sell arse cream?"
Chemist replies "Aye, Magnum or Cornetto?"
dragonprobably
The Poster Formerly Known as MartinLuther
I once had a dream that I was eating a giant marshmallow, when I woke up, I noticed my giant marshmallow was missing.
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Well if you think that was weird, I once had a dream about getting eaten by a giant marshmallow! And when I woke up I was missing!
HeraldtheGreat
King
Lame to people who don't get it, hilarious to people that do. (or at least to me.)
The bartender says "I'm sorry, we don't serve tachyons here."
A TACHYON WALKS INTO A BAR.
The bartender says "I'm sorry, we don't serve tachyons here."
A TACHYON WALKS INTO A BAR.
HeraldtheGreat
King
To each his own, I suppose.
madviking
north american scum
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But I'm sure that Pokemon was invented earlier than 2010...
Hence why I first heard that joke at least ten years before.
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Hence why I first heard that joke at least ten years before.
(I was making a joke about WIM's age.
)An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The children were nothing to look at.
I find people without feet to be very uncomfortable. I must be lack-toes intolerant.
You know why vultures have so much stuff when they fly? They have a large carrion allowance.
A man rings up his mother and says, "Sorry mum, but the florist I ordered your flowers from has messed up the order and is sending over Brazilian ferns rather than your favourite windflowers." His mother says, "Don't worry, son. With fronds like those, who needs anemones?"
Tarzan, Lord of the Jungle, was innocently leaping from tree to tree one fine day, when a band of crazed cannibals ambushed and killed him. They devoured him almost immediately, except for the lining of his stomach which they stretched over a hollow log to make a bongo drum and gave it to the son of the chief cannibal. The boy was delighted with his new drum and played it constantly for weeks, until one day, he came crying to his father the chief. "Daddy," he whimpered, "my bongo drum rotted away." "Son," replied the chief, "you can't play 'Tarzan's Tripe Forever.'"
I find people without feet to be very uncomfortable. I must be lack-toes intolerant.
You know why vultures have so much stuff when they fly? They have a large carrion allowance.
A man rings up his mother and says, "Sorry mum, but the florist I ordered your flowers from has messed up the order and is sending over Brazilian ferns rather than your favourite windflowers." His mother says, "Don't worry, son. With fronds like those, who needs anemones?"
Tarzan, Lord of the Jungle, was innocently leaping from tree to tree one fine day, when a band of crazed cannibals ambushed and killed him. They devoured him almost immediately, except for the lining of his stomach which they stretched over a hollow log to make a bongo drum and gave it to the son of the chief cannibal. The boy was delighted with his new drum and played it constantly for weeks, until one day, he came crying to his father the chief. "Daddy," he whimpered, "my bongo drum rotted away." "Son," replied the chief, "you can't play 'Tarzan's Tripe Forever.'"
Ah. I know what tripe is, I just didn't get the American flag reference.
stfoskey12
Emperor of Foskania
They must not talk about America much over in Canaan.
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